283. Relationship Compatibility: What Science Says Actually Matters w/ Paul Eastwick

Is someone being "out of your league" even a real thing? In this episode, I'm chatting with relationship scientist and author Paul Eastwick (Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection) to unpack the science of mate value, why matchmaking based on shared traits almost never works, and what actually predicts compatibility (it's not the traits on your list).

From decoding your own dating patterns to knowing when attraction is genuinely going to grow, this conversation is packed with practical, research-backed advice for anyone who feels stuck comparing partners against a checklist.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why what you say you want in a partner doesn't predict who you actually choose
• The truth about mate value and dating "out of your league"
• Why matchmaking based on shared traits and interests rarely works
• What actually predicts long-term compatibility (hint: it's not a trait)
• Why attraction often grows slowly instead of hitting all at once
• Whether a strict list of dealbreakers helps or hurts you

At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about a situationship where trust was broken, and whether it's worth trying to repair it.

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