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Dating Déjà vu

Dating Déjà Vu

It might be déjà vu but it also might be you!

Join Christina Hathaway, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, as she dives deep into the complexities of relationships and personal growth. Each episode offers practical insights, expert advice, and heartfelt discussions on topics like communication, intimacy, family dynamics, and self-discovery. Whether you're navigating challenges in your marriage, strengthening friendships, or working on your relationship with yourself, Christina provides a compassionate and relatable perspective to help you thrive in all areas of your life!

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  • 31 episodes
  • weekly
  • Avg 27 min
  • English

Episodes 31

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  • May 29 · 32 min

    5 Mindset Shifts That Will Transform Your First Dates

    Do your first dates feel more like auditions than genuine connections? In this episode of Dating Deja Vu, Christina Hathaway breaks down the five mindset shifts that can completely change the way you approach dating. Instead of obsessing over whether someone likes you, you'll learn how to stay present, trust yourself, and determine whether they're actually a good fit for you. If you've ever caught yourself overthinking every word, imagining a future together before the appetizers arrive, or trying to be the "perfect" date, this episode is for you. In This Episode: Why curiosity creates better connections than interview-style questions How future-tripping sabotages chemistry before it has a chance to grow The importance of authenticity over perfection on first dates Why your life should already feel full before someone new enters it How setting a soft time limit can help you leave with clarity instead of confusion The difference between seeking validation and genuinely getting to know someone How to recognize when you're repeating old dating patterns Why healthy dating starts with changing how you show up—not finding a different person The goal of a first date isn't to get picked. It's to discover whether you genuinely enjoy the person sitting across from you. When you shift from performance to presence, dating becomes less stressful, more authentic, and far more effective. - Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

  • May 15 · 34 min

    Are You The Partner You Want To Have? The Mirror Principle in Dating

    Emotionally available. Consistent. Communicative. Present. Mature. But here’s the uncomfortable question this episode asks: Are you showing up as the partner you say you want? In this raw and honest solo episode of Dating Deja Vu, we dive into the “mirror principle”. It's the idea that the patterns showing up in your relationships may be reflecting unresolved patterns within yourself. This conversation explores: Why we keep repeating the same relationship cycles The role emotional availability plays in the partners we choose How self-abandonment impacts dating and long-term relationships The difference between wanting healthy love and being ready for it Attachment styles, self-awareness, boundaries, and emotional regulation Why becoming the right partner matters more than finding one Practical embodiment exercises to help you shift your relationship patterns This episode is equal parts tough love, self-reflection, and empowerment for anyone tired of repeating the same story in love. Because sometimes… it might be deja vu, but it also might be you. - Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

  • May 8 · 30 min

    Megan Thee Stallion, Situationships & The Accountability Crisis

    In this episode of Dating Deja Vu, Christina breaks down the cultural double standards that normalize harmful behavior in modern relationships and why women are often labeled “crazy,” “bitter,” or “difficult” for simply telling the truth. Using the recent public breakup between Megan Thee Stallion and Klay Thompson as a starting point, Christina explores what real accountability actually looks like, why “boys will be boys” has become a dangerous excuse for emotional immaturity, and how situationships are often designed to avoid responsibility altogether. This episode dives into: Why women are socially punished for having standards How situationships thrive on ambiguity and avoidance The cultural conditioning that teaches women to tolerate disrespect Why asking for clarity is not “too much” The difference between accountability and punishment How to communicate standards and non-negotiables clearly Why protecting men from consequences hurts everyone The importance of naming behavior instead of absorbing it in silence Christina also shares practical ways to hold people accountable in relationships without losing yourself in the process, and why clarity is the real rebellion. If you’ve ever found yourself decoding mixed signals, accepting breadcrumbs, or questioning whether your standards are “too high,” this episode is for you. Remember: wanting honesty, commitment, and respect does not make you difficult. It makes you clear. - Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

  • S2 · E2
    May 1 · 27 min

    Are You Actually Ready For A Relationship?

    You say you want a relationship… but have you ever stopped to ask if you’re actually ready for one? In this episode, Christina breaks down the uncomfortable truth most people avoid: wanting love and having the capacity for it are two very different things. If you keep finding yourself in the same dating patterns, feeling frustrated, or attracting the “wrong” people, this conversation will challenge you to look inward. We’re diving into the hidden ways you might be blocking connection (without realizing it), how unprocessed past relationships show up in new ones, and what it really means to be ready for a healthy partnership. This is your wake-up call to stop performing readiness and start building it. - Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

  • S2 · E1
    April 24 · 23 min

    The West Wilson Effect: Relationship Ambiguity & the Situationship Trap

    We’re back and we’re starting Season 2 with chaos, clarity, and a case study you cannot ignore. In this episode, we break down the viral mess unfolding on Summer House featuring West Wilson, Ciara Miller, Amanda Batula, and Kyle Cooke and why it’s the perfect example of relationship ambiguity in action. If you’ve ever been in a “situationship,” felt confused about where you stand, or stayed longer than you should’ve because “it felt like more”… this one’s for you. We’re unpacking what really happens when a relationship is never defined and why that gray area isn’t accidental… it’s strategic. - Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

  • S1 · E46
    Aug 1, 2025 · 16 min

    46 | 10 Shifts to Transform Your Relationship

    If your relationship feels stuck or your love life is on autopilot, this episode is your reset button. Christina walks you through 10 small but powerful relationship microshifts that can bring big results—fast. Whether you're dating, committed, or married, these simple yet science-backed strategies will help you: 🩵 Feel more connected 🩵 Communicate more clearly 🩵 Build trust 🩵 And bring emotional safety back to the forefront. Perfect for anyone wondering "How can I fix my relationship without therapy?" or "Why do I keep repeating toxic relationship patterns?" Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast Timestamps: 00:00 – Why your relationship can't thrive if you're depleted 00:42 – Press the reset button: Why microshifts matter 01:16 – Microshift 1: Shift focus intentionally with positive interactions 02:00 – Microshift 2: Express one sincere appreciation daily 03:12 – Microshift 3: Use the 24-hour rule before addressing conflict 04:16 – Microshift 4: Practice active listening & “I feel” statements 07:12 – Microshift 5: Schedule weekly emotional check-ins 08:15 – Microshift 6: Reignite connection with hugs and kisses 09:31 – Microshift 7: Speak your partner’s love language… daily 10:59 – Microshift 8: Own your part in conflict1 2:35 – Microshift 9: Show you’ve got your partner’s back 14:09 – Microshift 10: Do something for you today 15:36 – Start now: Pick one shift and change your love life today

  • S1 · E45
    Jul 22, 2025 · 15 min

    45 | All or Nothing Thinking: How Perfectionism is Ruining Your Dating Life

    Is your dating life stuck in a cycle of extreme highs and sudden ghosting? You might be trapped in all or nothing thinking. In this episode of Dating Déjà Vu, Christina unpacks the dangers of black-and-white thinking in modern dating and how it sabotages real connection. If you're constantly looking for red flags, obsessed with instant chemistry, or walking away too quickly when things aren’t perfect—this episode is for you. Christina shares relatable stories, helpful mindset shifts, and her viral 3-3-3 dating rule to help you move from fear-based dating to curiosity-driven connection. Tune in now! Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast Timestamps: 00:00 – Welcome + Podcast intro 00:16 – Meet Christina Hathaway 00:25 – All or nothing thinking in dating 00:54 – How this mindset shows up in other areas of life 01:23 – Black-and-white thinking sabotages connection 01:47 – Christina’s personal example from high school 02:21 – What is all-or-nothing thinking? 02:49 – Extreme reactions and ghosting after good dates 03:22 – The fear behind rigid standards 03:37 – Examples of extreme thinking in dating 04:11 – Craving fast chemistry and intensity 04:43 – Labeling people too quickly 05:32 – Generalizing bad experiences 05:50 – Putting all your eggs in one basket 06:34 – Hurt becomes your whole reference point 07:03 – The illusion of control 07:20 – Vulnerability vs. protection 07:59 – Choosing curiosity over conclusions 08:27 – Questions to reflect on during early dating 08:44 – The 3-3-3 Rule for dating 09:08 – The power of slow burns 09:44 – Stop looking for reasons to leave 10:31 – Expecting uncertainty in relationships 10:43 – Christina’s personal love story 10:58 – Discomfort vs. protecting your peace 11:12 – The full 3x3x3 dating rule explained 12:07 – Avoiding infatuation cycles 12:21 – Wait for clarity before bailing 12:47 – Giving relationships space to grow 13:07 – Reflection: When have you bailed from discomfort? 13:44 – Identifying your extreme dating patterns 14:14 – Encouragement to stay in the gray 14:26 – Share, review, and support the show 14:56 – Final reminders

  • S1 · E44
    Jul 15, 2025 · 16 min

    44 | In-To-Me-You-See: Healthy Intimacy in Dating + Relationships

    Being vulnerable in a healthy relationship can feel unsafe—especially if you've been burned before. But vulnerability is the key to building real emotional intimacy and connection. In this episode, Christina Hathaway, licensed marriage and family therapist, breaks down what healthy vulnerability actually looks like, why it’s not oversharing or trauma dumping, and how to express your truth without losing your identity. If you’ve ever struggled to say what you really feel, if you tend to merge into your partner or over-function emotionally, or if you're navigating relationships with old wounds, this episode is for you! Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast Timestamps: 00:00 – Vulnerability in healthy relationships can feel unsafe at first 00:38 – Inspired by Matthew Hussey’s take on intimacy 01:31 – Defining vulnerability: It’s not oversharing or codependency 02:44 – The power of sharing truth without performance 03:44 – Real-life example: Writing a note to her husband 04:16 – Navigating boundary-setting early in dating 05:03 – Language to honor boundaries while staying open 06:11 – Don't confuse merging with intimacy 07:49 – Staying present through discomfort and hormonal shifts 09:26 – Healthy intimacy isn’t about safety all the time—it’s about discernment 10:25 – Never weaponize someone's vulnerability 11:55 – Allowing mutual emotional exposure in relationships 13:00 – You don’t rush trust—you build it 14:21 – Key questions to ask yourself when gauging emotional safety 15:35 – What to do when you fear someone will leave after opening up 16:11 – Final thoughts + call to share this episode

  • S1 · E39
    Jul 8, 2025 · 19 min

    43 | 10 Subtle Signs It’s Time to Leave a Relationship (Even If Nothing “Bad” Happened)

    Are you constantly questioning your relationship, but can't quite explain why? In this episode, Christina breaks down 10 subtle yet powerful signs it's time to leave a relationship—even if there hasn’t been a dramatic breakup, betrayal, or obvious red flag. If you're stuck in confusion, this episode will give you the clarity—and permission—you need! Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction 02:20 – Why we tolerate “comfortable” relationships 03:44 – 🚩 Sign #1: You’re constantly negotiating your needs down 04:58 – 🚩 Sign #2: Your body feels more anxious than excited 06:23 – 🚩 Sign #3: You’re walking on eggshells 08:07 – 🚩 Sign #4: You’re clinging to potential, not reality 09:41 – 🚩 Sign #5: Your boundaries are blurry 11:12 – 🚩 Sign #6: You’re doing more emotional labor 12:41 – 🚩 Sign #7: You need others to validate your feelings 13:24 – 🚩 Sign #8: You no longer feel like yourself around them 15:31 – 🚩 Sign #9: They love the idea of you, not the real you 16:56 – 🚩 Sign #10: The idea of leaving brings relief, not fear 18:44 – How to reconnect to yourself after walking away 19:28 – Final thoughts + journaling prompts for clarity

  • S1 · E42
    Jul 1, 2025 · 24 min

    42 | Fantasy vs. Reality: What Love Island’s Olandria Teaches Us About Dating Patterns

    Are you dating someone’s potential... or just their cowboy boots? In this spicy Love Island deep dive, Christina breaks down what Olandria’s journey teaches us about fantasy, red flags, and why holding on too long can cost us our peace. In this week's episode, Christina dissects the latest drama on Love Island USA—specifically the emotional rollercoaster between Olandria, Taylor, and Clark, and connects it to real-life dating patterns. If you’ve ever found yourself fixated on a type (hello, cowboy or baller!) and ignored the red flags just because the fantasy looked good on paper, this episode is your wake-up call. Christina helps listeners unpack the dangerous loop of romantic idealization and shows how to break free from dating déjà vu. Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction 00:45 – Olandria & Taylor 03:30 – Fantasy vs. Reality in dating athletes, cowboys, and “types” 06:00 – What Taylor actually represents—and the red flags 08:45 – Post-Casa Amor: How Taylor showed his true colors 10:14 – Nick vs. Taylor: Real connection vs. performative affection 13:20 – Disrespect on display: The “cowboy” falls off the horse 15:01 – When we protect the fantasy more than our peace 17:25 – Better questions to ask when stuck in romantic loops 19:11 – Cowboy vibes vs. Cowboy values: Know the difference 22:00 – A story about choosing the right kind of partner 23:16 – The real fairytale? Truth, safety, and consistency 23:53 – Final challenge: Are you chasing the wrong cowboy?

  • S1 · E41
    Jun 24, 2025 · 14 min

    41 | Are You Changing for Them—Or Changing for You?

    In this episode, Christina unpacks the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways we change ourselves to be loved, wanted, or accepted. Are you healing and growing because you want to or are you unconsciously shifting to become more palatable for your partner? She dives into the difference between self-evolution and self-abandonment, explains the psychology behind shape-shifting in dating, and offers powerful self-check questions to help you reclaim your self-worth, authenticity, and voice in relationships. If you're tired of auditioning for love, this one’s for you. Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 00:20 Meet Christina and the podcast 00:31 Are you changing for you or for them 00:53 Inspired by real client conversations 01:11 People shrink themselves in relationships 01:42 Self-growth vs self-abandonment 02:15 Story of someone changing to please a partner 03:05 Change rooted in validation doesn’t last 03:50 The pressure to shape-shift in dating 04:33 People silence themselves without being asked 05:11 Acting feels heavy because it’s not real 05:27 Growth feels expansive, protection feels tight 06:04 Real change aligns with your values 06:33 Would you stay this version if they left 07:30 Childhood teaches us to adapt to be safe 08:39 Dating becomes a performance for approval 09:42 Validation-seeking leads to unhealthy change 10:01 Real love doesn’t ask you to shrink 10:45 Growth means setting boundaries and staying close to self 11:34 Christina shares how healing changed her relationships 12:23 Don’t shame your past self for surviving 12:56 Heal your own holes to become whole 13:29 Do you love yourself when you’re not performing 13:44 Closing thoughts and clarity call invite

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