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Dating Déjà vu

Dating Déjà Vu

It might be déjà vu but it also might be you!

Join Christina Hathaway, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, as she dives deep into the complexities of relationships and personal growth. Each episode offers practical insights, expert advice, and heartfelt discussions on topics like communication, intimacy, family dynamics, and self-discovery. Whether you're navigating challenges in your marriage, strengthening friendships, or working on your relationship with yourself, Christina provides a compassionate and relatable perspective to help you thrive in all areas of your life!

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  • 21 episodes
  • weekly
  • Avg 26 min
  • English

Episodes 21

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  • August 21 · 31 min

    5 Simple Ways to Improve Your Relationship and Create More Connection

    What if a better relationship doesn’t require a bigger date night, an expensive gift, or a grand romantic gesture? Sometimes, the biggest changes come from the smallest things we consistently do. In this episode of Dating Deja Vu, Christina Hathaway, LMFT, shares 5 simple ways to strengthen your relationship, improve emotional connection, and create a healthier partnership. From noticing what your partner is doing right to learning how to respond to criticism with curiosity, these small shifts can change the way you experience your relationship every day. Christina also breaks down why healthy relationships aren’t conflict-free—they’re repair-rich—and why taking healthy space during conflict can actually help you reconnect. In this episode, you'll learn: Why small, intentional gestures can matter more than grand romantic gestures How giving your partner a genuine compliment every day can strengthen connection How to ask the question behind the question when your partner is being critical Why curiosity works better than defensiveness during relationship conflict How to repair after an argument without ignoring your own need for space Why understanding your partner doesn’t always mean experiencing things the way they do How small daily acts of kindness communicate “I see you” and “you matter” Why compromise is a constant part of building a life together How to stop trying to “win” and start looking for solutions that work for both partners The goal isn’t to create a perfect relationship. It’s to consistently create opportunities for connection, appreciation, understanding, and repair. Because relationships usually aren’t transformed by one huge gesture. They’re transformed by the small things you choose to do and keep doing. - Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  • August 14 · 29 min

    5 Signs You’re With the Wrong Person (Even If They’re a Good Person)

    What if the person you’re with isn’t a bad person, they’re just not the right person for you? Not every relationship ends because of cheating, abuse, betrayal, or some obvious red flag. Sometimes, the signs are much quieter. You simply start feeling different. Quality time feels like work. You walk on eggshells. You become a smaller version of yourself. You fall in love with someone’s potential instead of accepting who they actually are. In this episode of Dating Deja Vu, Christina Hathaway explores 5 signs you may not be meant to be with your partner and why these subtle signs can be so difficult to recognize and even harder to act on. Drawing from her own past relationship and experiences working with clients, Christina breaks down what happens when a relationship slowly shifts from connection to management, fear, and resentment. In this episode, we talk about: When everything starts feeling like effort and quality time feels more like a chore than something you enjoy. Walking on eggshells and how constantly monitoring what you say, feel, or need can make you lose parts of yourself. Being in love with someone's potential instead of accepting the person who is actually standing in front of you. Staying because you're afraid to be alone rather than because you genuinely want to be with that person. When everything they do starts irritating you and your body may be signaling something your brain hasn't fully acknowledged yet. The difference between being with a good person and being in a good relationship for you. Why staying in an incompatible relationship can hurt more slowly than leaving. How fear, sunk time, and the fear of starting over can keep you stuck. Why sometimes your nervous system knows the relationship isn't working before your mind is ready to catch up. Most importantly, this episode isn't about deciding whether someone is “good” or “bad.” It's about compatibility, alignment, and whether two people can actually meet each other where they are. If you've ever found yourself thinking, “Nothing is technically wrong… so why am I so unhappy?” this conversation may give you something important to sit with. Your body may already know. Sometimes your brain just needs permission to catch up. - Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  • August 7 · 33 min

    The Real Third Wheel in Your Relationship? Your Body Image.

    What if the biggest obstacle to intimacy isn't your partner but the way you see yourself?In this episode of Dating Deja Vu, Christina Hathaway explores how negative body image quietly impacts every stage of your love life, from avoiding dating apps to pushing away a loving spouse. Whether you've been married for years, are navigating the dating scene, or have convinced yourself you'll start living "once you lose the weight," this conversation will challenge the beliefs keeping you stuck.Christina unpacks how your inner critic becomes an invisible third person in your relationship, shaping your behaviors, sabotaging connection, and convincing you you're unworthy of love—even when the evidence says otherwise. In this episode, you'll learn: 🩵 Why negative body image affects both dating and long-term relationships 🩵 The "waiting room" mindset that's keeping you from fully living your life 🩵 Five common ways body image sabotages intimacy and emotional connection🩵 How compliment deflection and self-rejection damage relationships 🩵 Why losing weight won't automatically heal body image struggles 🩵 Practical exercises to quiet your inner critic and start receiving love todayIf you've ever thought, "I'll be worthy once I change my body," this episode is your reminder that the life and love you want doesn't begin at your goal weight. Share this episode with someone who's been waiting for the "perfect body" before allowing themselves to be fully seen, loved, and chosen. - Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  • July 17 · 35 min

    The Person You're Chasing Is Blocking the One Who Would Choose You

    How many chances is too many? A single moment from Love Island sparked a conversation every person who's ever stayed too long in the wrong relationship needs to hear: "Why are you giving him a second and third chance when there are so many others waiting for their first?" In this episode of Dating Déjà Vu, Christina Hathaway explores why we keep returning to emotionally unavailable partners, how empathy without boundaries leads to self-abandonment, and why you're not asking for too much. You're simply asking the wrong person. If you've ever found yourself begging for consistency, explaining away someone's behavior, or convincing yourself they'll change, this episode will help you recognize the pattern and start choosing yourself. If this episode resonated with you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs the reminder: you don't have to convince the right person to choose you. - Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

  • July 10 · 20 min

    Part 1 | Privacy and Secrecy In relationships: What We Can Learn From Nia and Danny of The Valley

    Is it privacy... or secrecy? When someone says, "I know his heart," are they extending grace or ignoring their own experience? In this episode of Dating Deja Vu, Christina Hathaway unpacks one of the most talked-about storylines from The Valley, using Danny and Nia Booko's relationship to explore deeper patterns that show up in real relationships every day. The conversation explores the difference between healthy privacy and harmful secrecy, why defending a partner can sometimes silence your own reality, and how unresolved patterns often repeat themselves until they're addressed. Christina also shares personal reflections and clinical insights into accountability, people-pleasing, and the hidden cost of protecting unhealthy behaviors. If you've ever wondered whether you're protecting your relationship, or protecting a pattern, this episode is for you. Tune in! - Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

  • July 3 · 31 min

    Sunk Cost in Love: What Aniya & Melanie Get Wrong | Love Island S8

    Two women on Love Island USA Season 8 stayed loyal through Casa Amor and still got blindsided. This episode breaks down why. Therapist and host Christina Hathaway uses Aniya & KC and Melanie & Sincere to unpack the sunk cost trap, why we give chance after chance, and why the green-flag guy felt boring when the chaos felt like a spark. Reality TV on the surface, real relationship psychology underneath. Keep dating the same man in a different font? This one's for you. Hosted by Christina Hathaway, relationship therapist. New episodes weekly. Tell us your "same man, different font" story.

  • June 26 · 22 min

    Anxious, Avoidant, or Secure? Understanding Attachment Styles in Relationships

    Do you believe you're "just an anxious attachment" or "that's just how avoidants are"? In this episode of Dating Deja Vu, we unpack one of the biggest misconceptions about attachment styles: they're not your identity, they're learned survival strategies. If you've ever found yourself attracting emotionally unavailable partners, fearing abandonment, pulling away when relationships get too close, or feeling trapped in the same dating cycle, this conversation is for you. You'll learn: What attachment styles really are (and what they aren't) The four attachment styles explained: secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful avoidant Why anxious and avoidant partners often find each other The difference between chemistry and familiar nervous system patterns How childhood experiences shape adult relationships Why attachment styles are not permanent What "earned secure attachment" means and how anyone can develop it Practical exercises to begin rewiring unhealthy relationship patterns Your attachment style isn't a life sentence. It's simply the strategy your nervous system learned to survive. And the best news? Strategies can change. If you're ready to stop repeating the same relationship patterns and start building healthier connections, this episode is your next step. Listen now and subscribe for new episodes every week. - Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

  • June 19 · 33 min

    Are You a Pick Me? The Hidden Reasons You Keep Losing Yourself in Relationships

    Have you ever looked back at a relationship and wondered, "When did I stop being me?" In this episode of Dating Deja Vu, Christina breaks down what "pick me" behavior actually is and why it's so much deeper than an internet insult. Instead of shame, she offers a compassionate look at how childhood experiences, codependency, and low self-esteem can lead us to seek validation through relationships. You'll learn why becoming the "easy" partner often means abandoning yourself, how these patterns repeat in dating, and the five areas you can begin healing to build healthier, more authentic relationships. In this episode: What "pick me" behavior really means (and what it doesn't) How childhood experiences shape adult relationships The five codependency patterns that fuel self-abandonment Why you keep attracting the same relationship dynamics How to rebuild self-esteem from within Setting boundaries without guilt Reconnecting with your wants, needs, and identity Practical exercises to stop losing yourself while dating If you've ever felt like you become a different person in every relationship, this episode is for you. 🎧 Listen now, and remember: you were never meant to audition for love—you get to do the choosing. - Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

  • June 12 · 24 min

    If You Muted Your Partner, What Would Their Actions Say?

    What if your partner couldn't text you, call you, make promises, or tell you how much they care? Would their actions alone make you feel loved, secure, and chosen? In this episode of Dating Deja Vu, Christina explores a powerful question that can instantly bring clarity to relationships, situationships, and everything in between: If you muted your partner and could only pay attention to their actions, what would you learn? If you've ever found yourself waiting for someone to become the person they say they want to be, this conversation is for you. You'll hear: Why actions provide more clarity than words The gap between promises and follow-through How hope can keep you stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns Why inconsistency feels addictive Signs you're falling for potential instead of reality How to stop grading partners on a curve The role of self-worth in relationship decisions A simple exercise to help you evaluate your relationship with more clarity Words are easy. Actions require time, effort, vulnerability, and consistency. If someone's actions and words don't match, trust the actions. Follow Dating Deja Vu for more conversations about dating, relationships, attachment patterns, and breaking free from unhealthy cycles. - Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

  • June 1 · 49 min

    When Sex Leaves the Building: Rebuilding Desire in Long-Term Relationships

    When was the last time you had sex with your partner? It's one of the most searched relationship questions online, and one of the least discussed. If you've ever wondered whether your relationship is normal, worried that the spark has disappeared, or felt disconnected from your partner, this episode is for you. In this special crossover episode of The Mindset Mirror Connection and Dating Déjà Vu, host Christina Hathaway explores why sex naturally changes throughout a relationship, what a healthy sex life actually looks like, and how couples can intentionally rebuild intimacy, desire, romance, and passion over time. Many couples experience a decline in sexual frequency and assume something is wrong. The truth is that slowing down sexually is often a normal part of relationship development. The challenge isn't how often couples have sex, it's whether both partners feel desired, emotionally safe, connected, and able to communicate openly about their needs. In this episode, you'll learn: The three stages of sexual connection in long-term relationships…from the honeymoon phase to companionship and commitment Why passion naturally evolves over time and what most couples misunderstand about intimacy The difference between passionate love and companionship love What research says about healthy sexual relationships and relationship satisfaction Why resentment, stress, mental overload, and emotional disconnection can dramatically affect desire How hormones, aging, postpartum changes, sleep deprivation, medications, and physical health impact libido Why spontaneous sex becomes less common in long-term relationships The five practical shifts that help couples rebuild intimacy and desire How to have productive conversations about sex without blame, shame, or defensiveness Ways to strengthen emotional and physical connection outside the bedroom Why scheduling intimacy can actually improve your relationship If you're feeling stuck in a sexless relationship, struggling with mismatched desire, wondering how to bring back romance, or simply wanting a healthier and more connected partnership, this conversation offers practical, compassionate, and evidence-informed guidance. The good news? A slowing sex life doesn't mean your relationship is broken. Successful long-term couples understand that intimacy isn't something that simply happens, it is something they intentionally choose to nurture, protect, and rebuild throughout every stage of their relationship. Whether you're dating, newly partnered, married, navigating parenthood, or decades into a committed relationship, you'll walk away with a deeper understanding of what healthy intimacy looks like and actionable strategies to reignite connection, desire, and closeness. - Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

  • May 29 · 32 min

    5 Mindset Shifts That Will Transform Your First Dates

    Do your first dates feel more like auditions than genuine connections? In this episode of Dating Deja Vu, Christina Hathaway breaks down the five mindset shifts that can completely change the way you approach dating. Instead of obsessing over whether someone likes you, you'll learn how to stay present, trust yourself, and determine whether they're actually a good fit for you. If you've ever caught yourself overthinking every word, imagining a future together before the appetizers arrive, or trying to be the "perfect" date, this episode is for you. In This Episode: Why curiosity creates better connections than interview-style questions How future-tripping sabotages chemistry before it has a chance to grow The importance of authenticity over perfection on first dates Why your life should already feel full before someone new enters it How setting a soft time limit can help you leave with clarity instead of confusion The difference between seeking validation and genuinely getting to know someone How to recognize when you're repeating old dating patterns Why healthy dating starts with changing how you show up—not finding a different person The goal of a first date isn't to get picked. It's to discover whether you genuinely enjoy the person sitting across from you. When you shift from performance to presence, dating becomes less stressful, more authentic, and far more effective. - Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

  • May 15 · 34 min

    Are You The Partner You Want To Have? The Mirror Principle in Dating

    Emotionally available. Consistent. Communicative. Present. Mature. But here’s the uncomfortable question this episode asks: Are you showing up as the partner you say you want? In this raw and honest solo episode of Dating Deja Vu, we dive into the “mirror principle”. It's the idea that the patterns showing up in your relationships may be reflecting unresolved patterns within yourself. This conversation explores: Why we keep repeating the same relationship cycles The role emotional availability plays in the partners we choose How self-abandonment impacts dating and long-term relationships The difference between wanting healthy love and being ready for it Attachment styles, self-awareness, boundaries, and emotional regulation Why becoming the right partner matters more than finding one Practical embodiment exercises to help you shift your relationship patterns This episode is equal parts tough love, self-reflection, and empowerment for anyone tired of repeating the same story in love. Because sometimes… it might be deja vu, but it also might be you. - Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

  • May 8 · 30 min

    Megan Thee Stallion, Situationships & The Accountability Crisis

    In this episode of Dating Deja Vu, Christina breaks down the cultural double standards that normalize harmful behavior in modern relationships and why women are often labeled “crazy,” “bitter,” or “difficult” for simply telling the truth. Using the recent public breakup between Megan Thee Stallion and Klay Thompson as a starting point, Christina explores what real accountability actually looks like, why “boys will be boys” has become a dangerous excuse for emotional immaturity, and how situationships are often designed to avoid responsibility altogether. This episode dives into: Why women are socially punished for having standards How situationships thrive on ambiguity and avoidance The cultural conditioning that teaches women to tolerate disrespect Why asking for clarity is not “too much” The difference between accountability and punishment How to communicate standards and non-negotiables clearly Why protecting men from consequences hurts everyone The importance of naming behavior instead of absorbing it in silence Christina also shares practical ways to hold people accountable in relationships without losing yourself in the process, and why clarity is the real rebellion. If you’ve ever found yourself decoding mixed signals, accepting breadcrumbs, or questioning whether your standards are “too high,” this episode is for you. Remember: wanting honesty, commitment, and respect does not make you difficult. It makes you clear. - Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

  • S2 · E2
    May 1 · 27 min

    Are You Actually Ready For A Relationship?

    You say you want a relationship… but have you ever stopped to ask if you’re actually ready for one? In this episode, Christina breaks down the uncomfortable truth most people avoid: wanting love and having the capacity for it are two very different things. If you keep finding yourself in the same dating patterns, feeling frustrated, or attracting the “wrong” people, this conversation will challenge you to look inward. We’re diving into the hidden ways you might be blocking connection (without realizing it), how unprocessed past relationships show up in new ones, and what it really means to be ready for a healthy partnership. This is your wake-up call to stop performing readiness and start building it. - Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

  • S2 · E1
    April 24 · 23 min

    The West Wilson Effect: Relationship Ambiguity & the Situationship Trap

    We’re back and we’re starting Season 2 with chaos, clarity, and a case study you cannot ignore. In this episode, we break down the viral mess unfolding on Summer House featuring West Wilson, Ciara Miller, Amanda Batula, and Kyle Cooke and why it’s the perfect example of relationship ambiguity in action. If you’ve ever been in a “situationship,” felt confused about where you stand, or stayed longer than you should’ve because “it felt like more”… this one’s for you. We’re unpacking what really happens when a relationship is never defined and why that gray area isn’t accidental… it’s strategic. - Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

  • S1 · E46
    Aug 1, 2025 · 16 min

    46 | 10 Shifts to Transform Your Relationship

    If your relationship feels stuck or your love life is on autopilot, this episode is your reset button. Christina walks you through 10 small but powerful relationship microshifts that can bring big results—fast. Whether you're dating, committed, or married, these simple yet science-backed strategies will help you: 🩵 Feel more connected 🩵 Communicate more clearly 🩵 Build trust 🩵 And bring emotional safety back to the forefront. Perfect for anyone wondering "How can I fix my relationship without therapy?" or "Why do I keep repeating toxic relationship patterns?" Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast Timestamps: 00:00 – Why your relationship can't thrive if you're depleted 00:42 – Press the reset button: Why microshifts matter 01:16 – Microshift 1: Shift focus intentionally with positive interactions 02:00 – Microshift 2: Express one sincere appreciation daily 03:12 – Microshift 3: Use the 24-hour rule before addressing conflict 04:16 – Microshift 4: Practice active listening & “I feel” statements 07:12 – Microshift 5: Schedule weekly emotional check-ins 08:15 – Microshift 6: Reignite connection with hugs and kisses 09:31 – Microshift 7: Speak your partner’s love language… daily 10:59 – Microshift 8: Own your part in conflict1 2:35 – Microshift 9: Show you’ve got your partner’s back 14:09 – Microshift 10: Do something for you today 15:36 – Start now: Pick one shift and change your love life today

  • S1 · E45
    Jul 22, 2025 · 15 min

    45 | All or Nothing Thinking: How Perfectionism is Ruining Your Dating Life

    Is your dating life stuck in a cycle of extreme highs and sudden ghosting? You might be trapped in all or nothing thinking. In this episode of Dating Déjà Vu, Christina unpacks the dangers of black-and-white thinking in modern dating and how it sabotages real connection. If you're constantly looking for red flags, obsessed with instant chemistry, or walking away too quickly when things aren’t perfect—this episode is for you. Christina shares relatable stories, helpful mindset shifts, and her viral 3-3-3 dating rule to help you move from fear-based dating to curiosity-driven connection. Tune in now! Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast Timestamps: 00:00 – Welcome + Podcast intro 00:16 – Meet Christina Hathaway 00:25 – All or nothing thinking in dating 00:54 – How this mindset shows up in other areas of life 01:23 – Black-and-white thinking sabotages connection 01:47 – Christina’s personal example from high school 02:21 – What is all-or-nothing thinking? 02:49 – Extreme reactions and ghosting after good dates 03:22 – The fear behind rigid standards 03:37 – Examples of extreme thinking in dating 04:11 – Craving fast chemistry and intensity 04:43 – Labeling people too quickly 05:32 – Generalizing bad experiences 05:50 – Putting all your eggs in one basket 06:34 – Hurt becomes your whole reference point 07:03 – The illusion of control 07:20 – Vulnerability vs. protection 07:59 – Choosing curiosity over conclusions 08:27 – Questions to reflect on during early dating 08:44 – The 3-3-3 Rule for dating 09:08 – The power of slow burns 09:44 – Stop looking for reasons to leave 10:31 – Expecting uncertainty in relationships 10:43 – Christina’s personal love story 10:58 – Discomfort vs. protecting your peace 11:12 – The full 3x3x3 dating rule explained 12:07 – Avoiding infatuation cycles 12:21 – Wait for clarity before bailing 12:47 – Giving relationships space to grow 13:07 – Reflection: When have you bailed from discomfort? 13:44 – Identifying your extreme dating patterns 14:14 – Encouragement to stay in the gray 14:26 – Share, review, and support the show 14:56 – Final reminders

  • S1 · E44
    Jul 15, 2025 · 16 min

    44 | In-To-Me-You-See: Healthy Intimacy in Dating + Relationships

    Being vulnerable in a healthy relationship can feel unsafe—especially if you've been burned before. But vulnerability is the key to building real emotional intimacy and connection. In this episode, Christina Hathaway, licensed marriage and family therapist, breaks down what healthy vulnerability actually looks like, why it’s not oversharing or trauma dumping, and how to express your truth without losing your identity. If you’ve ever struggled to say what you really feel, if you tend to merge into your partner or over-function emotionally, or if you're navigating relationships with old wounds, this episode is for you! Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast Timestamps: 00:00 – Vulnerability in healthy relationships can feel unsafe at first 00:38 – Inspired by Matthew Hussey’s take on intimacy 01:31 – Defining vulnerability: It’s not oversharing or codependency 02:44 – The power of sharing truth without performance 03:44 – Real-life example: Writing a note to her husband 04:16 – Navigating boundary-setting early in dating 05:03 – Language to honor boundaries while staying open 06:11 – Don't confuse merging with intimacy 07:49 – Staying present through discomfort and hormonal shifts 09:26 – Healthy intimacy isn’t about safety all the time—it’s about discernment 10:25 – Never weaponize someone's vulnerability 11:55 – Allowing mutual emotional exposure in relationships 13:00 – You don’t rush trust—you build it 14:21 – Key questions to ask yourself when gauging emotional safety 15:35 – What to do when you fear someone will leave after opening up 16:11 – Final thoughts + call to share this episode

  • S1 · E39
    Jul 8, 2025 · 19 min

    43 | 10 Subtle Signs It’s Time to Leave a Relationship (Even If Nothing “Bad” Happened)

    Are you constantly questioning your relationship, but can't quite explain why? In this episode, Christina breaks down 10 subtle yet powerful signs it's time to leave a relationship—even if there hasn’t been a dramatic breakup, betrayal, or obvious red flag. If you're stuck in confusion, this episode will give you the clarity—and permission—you need! Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction 02:20 – Why we tolerate “comfortable” relationships 03:44 – 🚩 Sign #1: You’re constantly negotiating your needs down 04:58 – 🚩 Sign #2: Your body feels more anxious than excited 06:23 – 🚩 Sign #3: You’re walking on eggshells 08:07 – 🚩 Sign #4: You’re clinging to potential, not reality 09:41 – 🚩 Sign #5: Your boundaries are blurry 11:12 – 🚩 Sign #6: You’re doing more emotional labor 12:41 – 🚩 Sign #7: You need others to validate your feelings 13:24 – 🚩 Sign #8: You no longer feel like yourself around them 15:31 – 🚩 Sign #9: They love the idea of you, not the real you 16:56 – 🚩 Sign #10: The idea of leaving brings relief, not fear 18:44 – How to reconnect to yourself after walking away 19:28 – Final thoughts + journaling prompts for clarity

  • S1 · E42
    Jul 1, 2025 · 24 min

    42 | Fantasy vs. Reality: What Love Island’s Olandria Teaches Us About Dating Patterns

    Are you dating someone’s potential... or just their cowboy boots? In this spicy Love Island deep dive, Christina breaks down what Olandria’s journey teaches us about fantasy, red flags, and why holding on too long can cost us our peace. In this week's episode, Christina dissects the latest drama on Love Island USA—specifically the emotional rollercoaster between Olandria, Taylor, and Clark, and connects it to real-life dating patterns. If you’ve ever found yourself fixated on a type (hello, cowboy or baller!) and ignored the red flags just because the fantasy looked good on paper, this episode is your wake-up call. Christina helps listeners unpack the dangerous loop of romantic idealization and shows how to break free from dating déjà vu. Let's connect: Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0 Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction 00:45 – Olandria & Taylor 03:30 – Fantasy vs. Reality in dating athletes, cowboys, and “types” 06:00 – What Taylor actually represents—and the red flags 08:45 – Post-Casa Amor: How Taylor showed his true colors 10:14 – Nick vs. Taylor: Real connection vs. performative affection 13:20 – Disrespect on display: The “cowboy” falls off the horse 15:01 – When we protect the fantasy more than our peace 17:25 – Better questions to ask when stuck in romantic loops 19:11 – Cowboy vibes vs. Cowboy values: Know the difference 22:00 – A story about choosing the right kind of partner 23:16 – The real fairytale? Truth, safety, and consistency 23:53 – Final challenge: Are you chasing the wrong cowboy?

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