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Chat with Dr. Kat

Dr. Kat Derrig-Palumbo

With over 25 years of experience as a licensed psychologist, Dr. Kat was one of the pioneers of online therapy. She launched one of the first virtual platforms, MyTherapyNet.com, long before telehealth became the norm.

She is the author of Online Therapy: A Therapist’s Guide to Expanding Your Practice, and has taught thousands of therapists through her lectures for AAMFT, CAMFT, and other national and international psychological associations. She has also served as a consultant for The Dr. Phil Show, bringing her expertise to a national audience.

Now, through Chat with Dr. Kat, she shares the moments that spark the kind of clarity people have been searching for — sometimes for years. Her gift is helping people finally “get it” — to break through in ways they never have before. Whether it’s parenting struggles, relationship dynamics, emotional healing, communication challenges, or what’s happening in the world around us, Dr. Kat brings insight, compassion, and real talk that leads to real change.

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Yesterday · 34 min
How to Rebuild Your Life After Trauma — Survival Wasn't the End
Surviving addiction, grief, illness, or loss doesn’t automatically make life feel better. Sometimes you make it through the crisis only to find yourself exhausted, grieving what’s gone, and wondering how to rebuild without simply waiting for the next thing to fall apart. Andrew Minuto, author of Fatally Resilient, shares what it has meant to keep starting over after addiction, the deaths of his parents, divorce, and recurring cancer. Dr. Kat and Andrew talk honestly about trauma’s physical triggers, why substances can be about relief rather than pleasure, and the difference between blaming yourself and taking accountability. They also explore EMDR, grief, small daily victories, and returning to the hopes and “fantasies” that give life direction. For anyone asking, “I survived—now what?” this conversation makes room for both exhaustion and the choice to keep building. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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Tuesday · 8 min
Who Pays on the First Date? The Bill Isn't the Whole Cost
Splitting the bill can sound fair—until you notice that the cost of a date often starts long before anyone reaches the restaurant. Women are navigating pay gaps, pressure to look a certain way, and safety calculations that can shape everything from what they wear to how they get home. Dr. Kat looks beyond the 50/50 debate at the hidden financial, emotional, and practical costs women carry. She talks about the pressure created by beauty standards, the everyday vigilance many women are taught around personal safety, and why focusing only on the check can become a form of cherry-picking. A story about a school dance offers a simple example of what it can look like to recognize the fuller picture. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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August 27 · 44 min
Ketamine Therapy With a Therapist: When Talk Therapy Stalls
When you’ve tried therapy, medication, and all the usual advice but still feel stuck, it can be hard to know what else is worth considering. Dr. Kat talks with Myriam Barthes, co-founder and CEO of Journey Clinical, about ketamine-assisted psychotherapy—not as a shortcut or a “magic pill,” but as a treatment option that combines medicine with an ongoing therapeutic relationship. They break down the practical side of psychedelic-assisted therapy: medical eligibility screening, therapist training, preparation, dosing sessions, and integration afterward. You’ll hear why difficult or anxious moments during treatment are not necessarily “bad trips,” how safety and trust shape the experience, and why the work continues long after a session ends. For anyone wondering whether feeling stuck means they’ve run out of options, this conversation offers a more grounded way to think about what support can look like. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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August 19 · 6 min
Why Do I Repeat Toxic Relationships? The Pattern You Can’t See
When someone betrays or humiliates you, forgiveness can feel like being asked to pretend it never happened. But holding onto the anger can keep you tied to the person long after the relationship is over—especially when you find yourself choosing the same painful dynamic with a different face. Dr. Kat offers a “three boxes” way to separate what they did, your own accountability, and the forgiveness that helps you release the emotional grip of the past. She explains why forgiving someone does not mean excusing them, forgetting, or returning to the relationship—and why forgiving yourself matters when you recognize a pattern of hoping you can change someone. It’s a conversation for anyone ready to stop revisiting old hurt and make different choices going forward. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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August 11 · 14 min
No Intimacy in Marriage? The Cow Theory Explains the Distance
When intimacy fades in a marriage, it can feel like being “put out to pasture”—still carrying the daily responsibilities, but no longer touched, noticed, or treated like a priority. And when you finally say you feel unloved or unappreciated, a defensive response can make the distance feel even worse. Dr. Kat unpacks her Cow Theory: how couples become disconnected, why resentment can make affection hard to receive even when it’s finally offered, and how consistency helps rebuild trust over time. She also connects this pattern to the Yellow Room, where partners may feel that nothing they say or do matters. This is a candid look at how to respond with compassion, stop seeking fulfillment outside the relationship, and find your way back to each other. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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August 4 · 16 min
Why Adults Cut Off Their Parents — We're Blaming the Wrong Thing
When someone you love pulls away — a grown child, a partner, a parent — the easy explanation is to blame a therapist who told them to leave, or call someone a narcissist because a checklist on TikTok said so. But the real story is almost always messier and more human than that. Dr. Kat breaks down what's actually driving parental and partner alienation, from social media's oversimplified diagnostic labels to the damage a divorcing parent can do by turning children against the other side. She talks about why most of us would meet at least a few criteria on those "narcissistic parent" lists, what therapists should actually be doing with options instead of directives, and why people don't leave relationships because of therapy — they leave because they finally had a space to say what they'd been feeling all along. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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August 2 · 40 min
How to Coparent with a Narcissist: They're Not Going to Change
When someone knows exactly how to get under your skin — especially through your kids — co-parenting becomes less about logistics and more about survival. Simi Krishnan, a data scientist and author, joins Dr. Kat to talk openly about leaving an 18-year marriage, rebuilding her health and identity, and learning to co-parent with someone who still wants control. Dr. Kat reframes the challenge: stop being shocked by bad behavior and start being shocked by the good. She walks through practical tools — writing down every trigger so it loses its power, thanking the universe for each reminder that leaving was the right call, and choosing co-parenting apps that coach communication rather than just flagging conflict. There's also an honest conversation about forgiveness as self-protection, not grace for the other person, and why strong people are often the easiest to trigger. If you're co-parenting with someone who won't change, this one's worth your time. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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July 29 · 11 min
Resentment in Marriage After Kids Starts Long Before You Notice
Somewhere along the way, one person in the relationship kept going — to the gym, to golf, to lunch with friends — while the other quietly stopped. Not because they wanted to, but because someone had to hold everything together. And now, years into parenthood, there's a low-grade resentment that didn't arrive all at once. It crept in, unnoticed, while one partner's life stayed largely intact and the other's slowly disappeared into the household. Dr. Kat unpacks why this imbalance happens so gradually that neither partner fully sees it forming — and why the person who lost the most often ends up waiting for *permission* to reclaim something that was always theirs. She offers a grounded, step-by-step approach: writing down what you want (pen to paper, not your phone), naming a timeline, and bringing that list into the conversation with the same confidence your partner never had to think twice about. She also talks honestly about what pushback means — and what a healthy response actually sounds like. If you've been running the household on empty and aren't sure how to start asking for more, this one is worth your time. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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July 17 · 1 hr 11 min
You're Not Failing — Parenting a Child with ADHD Is Just This Hard
Parenting a child with ADHD can feel like you're failing every single day — the meltdowns, the walking on eggshells, the guilt at bedtime — even when you're trying everything you've been told to try. Dr. Kat talks with Dana Kay, board certified holistic health and nutrition practitioner and founder of the ADHD Thrive Institute, who came to this work not as a professional first, but as a mom whose young son was headed toward a fourth medication before she started asking different questions. The conversation moves through what those different questions actually look like in practice: how ADHD symptoms can be signals of internal stress rather than just a brain disorder, why the gut-brain connection matters more than most families are told, what Dana calls the "trash can" analogy for understanding a child's cumulative toxic load, and where supplements like magnesium, omega-3s, and vitamin D fit in — and where they don't. Dr. Kat adds her own clinical experience, including a child whose ADHD symptoms disappeared once a wheat and dairy sensitivity was identified. Whether your child was diagnosed last year or you've been managing this for a decade, this episode offers a way to think about the whole picture that most appointments never get to. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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July 8 · 46 min
Numbing Grief with Alcohol Until a Dog Changed Everything
When you lose someone to sudden violence, the mind doesn't know what to do with that much pain — so sometimes you just try to drown it. LaShawnda lost her 21-year-old son Tyshawn to a random shooting in Cleveland in January 2023, eight days before his birthday. For roughly a hundred days after, she drank a fifth of tequila daily, lost sixty pounds, and — by her own honest account — barely knew how she was getting through each day. It was Tyshawn's dog, visibly wasting away, that finally broke through. Dr. Kat and LaShawnda talk through what grief actually looks like when it has no clean edges — the anger directed at the person you lost, the numbness that can look like functioning, and the slow erosion of a sense of self. Dr. Kat walks through how the brain attaches to pain as a form of problem-solving, why grief can make you feel like you've lost all agency, and how rebuilding starts not with healing but with small, deliberate choices. If you've ever found yourself just existing rather than living, this conversation will feel familiar. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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July 3 · 51 min
Is Long Term Care Insurance Worth It? Most Families Get This Wrong
Most people don't think about long-term care until they're already in the middle of a crisis — a parent who can't bathe alone, a spouse recovering from surgery, a sibling who quietly stopped going to work to help out. By then, the choices feel much smaller. Raymond Lavine, a long-term care insurance specialist, joins Dr. Kat to talk about why so many families get caught off guard and what it actually costs — financially and emotionally — when there's no plan in place. The conversation covers what long-term care insurance actually is (and how it differs from health insurance), the real meaning of the "sandwich generation" squeeze, and why having a plan is fundamentally about preserving choice. Dr. Kat shares her own experience caring for her mother, and Raymond walks through options that range from modest monthly premiums to asset-transfer plans, including policies that allow you to pay family members as caregivers. If you've ever felt like this conversation belonged to someone older, or someone with more money, or someone else entirely — this episode is worth your time. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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July 1 · 16 min
Why Doesn't My Partner Listen to Me (Make Them Watch This)
You've done everything you thought was kind — and somehow it still isn't what they asked for. That's the friction at the center of this episode: the gap between doing *something* and doing *the thing your partner actually asked for*. Dr. Kat walks through her "Paint the Room Yellow" framework — what it means when a partner gives you a clear, direct request and you respond with something else entirely, even something generous. She talks through why that dynamic breeds resentment, how the defensive reaction ("nothing I do is ever enough") keeps the cycle going, and what it actually looks like to follow the roadmap someone hands you. She also speaks directly to the person who keeps asking: how specific to be, when to let go of how it gets done, and why the room needs repainting over time. If someone in your life handed you this episode, that itself is worth paying attention to. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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S1 · E47
June 26 · 44 min
7 Menopause Symptoms No One Talks About — Are You Missing Them?
Many women reach menopause already exhausted — from decades of managing everyone else's needs — and then find themselves blindsided by symptoms they never connected to hormones at all. Frozen shoulder. Middle-of-the-night spiraling. A sudden, low-tolerance for anything that doesn't feel right. No one warned them, and the silence around it can make the whole experience feel isolating and shameful. Meredith Gonzalez, founder of the Hive Women's Collective and a self-described midlife concierge, joins Dr. Kat to talk honestly about why that silence exists and what changes when women stop navigating it alone. They discuss the emotional weight of feeling stuck in a body and a life that no longer responds the way it used to, the unexpected role of play and nature in reclaiming mental clarity, and why journaling — even messy, 3am scribbling — can quiet the spiral. If you're somewhere in the middle of all this, wondering why your usual strategies have stopped working, this conversation is worth your time. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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June 23 · 18 min
Dog Etiquette in Public Places Some Owners Get Wrong
You love your dog. The problem is, not everyone around you does — and figuring out how to navigate that gap without feeling like you have to choose between your dog and basic social harmony is genuinely tricky. Dr. Kat walks through the real situations where dog owners — even well-meaning ones — tend to get it wrong: restaurants, grocery stores, neighborhood walks, dog parks, having guests over, and the question of cleaning up properly (yes, including the pee on the pillar). She's not anti-dog — far from it — but she makes a case for reading the room on your dog's behalf, knowing when your dog isn't ready for a particular environment, and understanding that the people around you have legitimate feelings too. If you've ever been the dog owner in an awkward moment, or the person quietly uncomfortable with someone else's, this one is worth your time. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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S1 · E45
June 18 · 1 hr 16 min
How Teachers Should Handle Behavior Problems — And Why Most Don't
Most childcare centers open at 7 and close at 6. If your schedule doesn't fit that window — or your child needs more than a standard classroom can offer — you're largely on your own. Antoinette Elliott, founder of All Our Children Elite Child Care Academy in Georgia, built her school around exactly that gap: extended hours until midnight, nature-based learning, vegetarian meals, and a staff trained in crisis prevention through the Marcus Autism Center's model, which teaches teachers to look beneath behavior rather than react to its surface. In this conversation, Antoinette and Dr. Kat get into what that actually looks like — using personality assessments to build compatible teaching teams, coaching staff to ask "what happened before?" instead of sending children home, and communicating with parents in plain language at the end of the day rather than a one-word app update. If you've ever felt like a school was working against your child instead of with them, or like your family's reality didn't fit the mold, this episode names what's been missing. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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June 17 · 31 min
Physical Symptoms of Grief Nobody Warns You About
Grief shows up in the body in ways most people don't expect — the nausea, the joint pain, the sleep that won't come, the memory that keeps slipping. When you're in the middle of it, those physical symptoms can feel alarming, even confusing, especially when no one told you this was part of it. Dr. Kat walks through the emotional, physical, and cognitive dimensions of grief, explaining why the brain locks onto loss the way it does and what that "rabbit hole" spiral actually looks like neurologically. She covers both the five-stage Kübler-Ross model and a seven-stage framework that includes shock and guilt, and makes clear that moving through stages out of order — or circling back — is completely normal. She also broadens what grief can mean: a miscarriage, a layoff, a marriage ending, a child not getting into their first-choice school. And she introduces the "Yellow Room" as a way of understanding grief that builds quietly inside a relationship that isn't working. If you've been carrying something heavy and couldn't quite name all of it, this episode helps. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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June 11 · 31 min
Always Putting Others First Burnout: "Should I Be a Nun?"
When helping others is so deeply woven into who you are that you can't imagine doing anything else — and yet you're exhausted, disillusioned, and wondering if the only logical next step is to give everything up entirely — something more complicated than simple burnout is happening. Les, an LCSW who reached out to Dr. Kat considering leaving her social work career to become a nun, opens up about a lifetime shaped by caregiving: an adoptive family that raised her to serve, a profession she pursued with genuine integrity, and a growing disenchantment after watching fraud and ethical shortcuts endanger the clients she fought to protect. Dr. Kat gently surfaces the pattern running through all of it — that each path Les has chosen, including the one she's considering now, places self-sacrifice at the center. Rather than directing her toward or away from any decision, the conversation explores what it means to mistake burnout for a calling, how to use pro-and-con lists as a living document rather than a one-time exercise, and why pen-to-paper processing works differently than thinking in your head. By the end, Les remembers a possibility she'd forgotten entirely. If you've ever felt so depleted that the only options you could see were extreme ones, this episode is worth your time. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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June 10 · 20 min
Why Your Brain Focuses on the Negative (And Won't Let Go)
You walk into a room and nineteen people tell you that you look great. One person gives you a look. You spend the rest of the day thinking about the one person. That's not a character flaw — it's biology. Your brain is literally wired to prioritize threat over praise, and that wiring quietly erodes self-confidence over time. Dr. Kat breaks down why the brain reacts more powerfully to negativity (tracing it back to our fight-or-flight survival instincts and the role of the amygdala), and what you can actually do to start retraining it — including a straightforward "confidence challenge" around accepting and giving compliments. She also talks about the underrated role of nature, small acts of kindness, and changing the story you tell yourself when something frustrating happens. None of it is complicated, but it requires a conscious choice — which is exactly what this episode is about. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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June 4 · 54 min
Breaking Generational Trauma: Trash Bag at 12, Dad of 5 at 50.
Most of us inherit something from the people who raised us — a temper, a coping pattern, a way of speaking to children that sounds disturbingly familiar coming out of our own mouths. Breaking that inheritance is one of the hardest psychological projects a person can take on, and almost no one is given a map for it. This week Dr. Kat sits with Rob Scheer, founder of the international nonprofit Comfort Cases, a CNN Hero, and someone who entered foster care at 12 carrying a black trash bag and walked out homeless at 18 carrying another one. Rob talks openly about surviving sexual abuse, four suicide attempts, and the moment at 24 when he knelt at his mother's unmarked grave and chose to forgive — not as a gift to her, but to take his power back. He and Dr. Kat dig into why foster youth carry PTSD at twice the rate of combat veterans, why empathy and legacy have to be taught rather than inherited, and what it actually takes to be a parent when you had no model for one. If you've ever wondered whether the cycle can really stop with you, this is the conversation. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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S1 · E40
June 2 · 34 min
Paint the Room Yellow Part 2: Emotional Neglect in Marriage
You asked your partner to paint the room yellow. They bought a new bed, a new carpet, moved the furniture — and now they're irritated you're still asking about the wall. That quiet, repeated experience of being given everything except what you asked for is one of the most common forms of emotional neglect in marriage, and it's what Dr. Kat unpacks in Part 2, responding to viewers who recognized themselves in Part 1. She works through what's happening when a partner deflects with "nothing I do would make you happy," why "I just do it myself" sounds empowering but is usually resignation in disguise, and the moment the person asking finally goes quiet — and why that silence is the real warning. She also shares a one-week exercise she gives couples (it involves your dog) and a hard truth about why loyalty isn't something anyone earns an award for. If you've felt invisible in your own marriage, this one names it. I want to hear from you! To submit show ideas or be considered as a guest, visit https://chatwithdrkat.com/contact/ Follow Chat with Dr. Kat: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithdrkat Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chatwithdrkat YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chatwithdrkat TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chatwithdrkat X: https://x.com/ChatwithDrKat Health & Wellness Programs: https://mindbodyseries.com/
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