054: moving homes, cleo dang would rather be dead, + how grief & joy coexist
This week, we grieve the places we've left behind, the people we've lost, & the joy we find anyway. Nins says goodbye to the apartment that held five years of her life, reminding us that moving to a new home isn't just about leaving a physical space; it means leaving behind the version of you who lived there, too. Arns dives into Mai Nguyen's 2026 novel Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead, a story about infant loss, motherhood, depression, and the messy reality of grief. We explore why we should stop trying to "fix" our grief, how to help others grieve, and all the beautiful ways grief and joy coexist. Content warning: pregnancy loss, infant loss, miscarriage, depression, suicidal ideation, substance abuse, postpartum grief, and death. Full spoiler discussion for Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead. In this episode: the grief of closing a chapter and becoming someone new Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead by Mai Nguyen infant and child loss, motherhood, & complicated grief why grief can look messy, uncomfortable, and even ugly the power of community, connection, & simply staying how grief and joy don't cancel each other out; they coexist Chapters: 0:00 - Preview 4:29 - Arns' life rec: Elix 8:47 - Nins says goodbye to her old home 14:05 - The apartment that witnessed five years of becoming 25:40 - Saying goodbye to an old version of yourself 35:02 - Arns discovers Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead 55:12 - When grief becomes impossible to carry alone 59:46 - Grief & joy are a dance Referenced in this episode: Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead by Mai Nguyen "My Family Never Talked About Death. Then I Lost My Baby" by Mai Nguyen for Oprah Daily Voicemails for Isabelle (2026) Elix cycle balance Join the brb crying community—a heartfelt, cozy comedy podcast about friendship, vulnerability, emotional storytelling, and all the movies, books, music, and life experiences that leave us in tears. Follow us: » Instagram: @brbcrying.podcast » TikTok: @brbcrying.podcast » YouTube: @brbcrying.podcast Want episode recaps, behind-the-scenes/community updates, and occasional emotional damage delivered straight to your inbox? Sign up for our newsletter at brbcryingpodcast.com. Have a sob story or cry recommendation that absolutely wrecked you? We'd love to be wrecked, too. Submit your story at brbcryingpodcast.com or email us at hello@brbcryingpodcast.com. brb crying—hosted by longtime best friends Nins & Arns—is a podcast where we explore the songs, books, TV shows, films, pop culture moments, and personal stories that help us laugh, cry, heal, and feel a little less alone. Crying is our superpower, and by sharing what makes us cry in a way that makes us laugh, we show how crying helps us connect with ourselves and each other.
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