Bitch Bible

PodcastOne

A podcast that dares to say what many are thinking, but only a bitch would say. Expect unfiltered and unapologetic discussions about sex, millennial struggles, pop culture, social faux-pas and hopefully, an insightful takeaway. Nothing is off limits.

Hosted by Jackie Schimmel, creator of blog “The Bitch Bible," and your soon-to-be bitchy (and super neurotic) best friend.

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605 episodes
Updated Thursday

Episodes605

Newest first

Thursday · 26 min
Bump Bible: A Gender Bender
It is week 7 and the symptoms are symptoming. The future demon seed is the size of a blueberry and driving Jackie into the arms of a Wetzels Pretzels whilst spiraling over a non FDA approved DIY Amazon gender test. Thanks for supporting my sponsors: The Absorption Company: Use code BITCHBIBLE at check out for up to 35% off your first order at https://www.AbsorbMore.com ZBiotics: Use code BITCHBIBLE at checkout for 15% off any first time orders of ZBiotics probiotics at https://www.ZBiotics.com/BITCHBIBLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tuesday · 1 hr 8 min
Entertaining the Masses with Nina Parker
Jackie sits down with tv host Nina Parker to discuss their days together in Entertainment TV, why Jackie hates check-ins, and Clyde's alien abduction story. Thanks for supporting my sponsors: Nutrafol: Go to https://www.Nutrafol.com and use Code BIBLE to get $10 OFF your first month's subscription and free shipping. Ladder: Get a free 7-day trial with no credit card, and $10 off your first month if you join at https://www.Ladder.fit/BITCHBIBLE SKIMS: Shop SKIMS Cotton, and all of my favorite pieces at https://skims.com/bible Kindred Bravely: Get 20% OFF your first order at https://www.KindredBravely.com/JACKIE Jones Road: Use code BITCHBIBLE to get a free free gift with your first purchase at https://www.JonesRoadBeauty.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
July 23 · 25 min
Bump Bible: Trepidatious
Week 6 and Jackie is in limbo. Things are starting to get real, but she can’t tell anyone about the pregnancy yet. Except everyone at her local Italian Deli, of course. Thanks for supporting my sponsors: Jack Archer: Use code GETJACK to get 15% off your first order at www.JackArcher.com Jones Road Beauty: Use code BITCHBIBLE to get a free full size mascara with your first purchase at www.JonesRoadBeauty.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
July 21 · 1 hr 5 min
Straight Outta Economy
Jackie is getting back to her economy roots and discusses a confrontation at Nordstrom Rack, manipulating pregnancy in her favor, and the joy of Ashley Judd’s Instagram. Thanks for supporting my sponsors: Ladder: Get a free 7-day trial with no credit card, and $10 off your first month if you join at ladder.fit/BITCHBIBLE Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at www.Article.com/discount/bible SKIMS: Shop SKIMS Cotton, and all of my favorite pieces at www.skims.com/bible Leesa: Get 25% off mattresses, plus an extra $50 off with promo code BIBLE at www.Leesa.com Little Spoon: Use code BIBLE for 30% off your first online order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLE Ritual: Save 25% on your first month at www.Ritual.com/BIBLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
July 18 · 42 min
Bitch Bible Classics: Loner Boner
Jackie recaps the Real Housewives, the local hero that lost it after no birthday gift and delights listeners with a Grammy worthy vocal performance! Thanks for supporting my sponsors: ZBiotics: Use code BITCHBIBLE at checkout for 15% off any first time orders of ZBiotics probiotics at www.ZBiotics.com/BITCHBIBLE Nutrafol: Use code BIBLE to get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at www.Nutrafol.com SKIMS: Shop SKIMS Cotton, and all of my favorite pieces, at www.skims.com/bible Little Spoon: Use code BIBLE for 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLE Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at www.Quince.com/BITCHBIBLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
July 16 · 28 min
Welcome to the Bump Bible
Jackie begins a chronicle of her second pregnancy, speaking directly to moms with deep maternal care, understanding, and Plan B jokes. Thanks for supporting my sponsors: Skylight Frames: Get $30 off your 15-inch calendar by going to www.MySkylight.com/BITCHBIBLE Boll & Branch: For a limited time, use code bitchbible to get 20% off sitewide at www.BollAndBranch.com/bitchbible Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at www.Quince.com/BITCHBIBLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
July 16 · 57 min
The Chosen One
The stars have aligned to bring back El Pollo Loco’s BBQ Black Beans and the Taco Bell Enchirito just as Jackie is starting her third trimester and ravenously hungry. The universe has spoken. Jackie is the chosen one. Thanks for supporting my sponsors: Tonal: Use code BIBLE to get $200 off your Tonal purchase at www.Tonal.com Pique: Get 10% off for life at www.Piquelife.com/bible Rocket Money: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster at www.RocketMoney.com/BIBLE ZBiotics: Use code BITCHBIBLE at checkout for 15% off any first time orders of ZBiotics probiotics at www.ZBiotics.com/BITCHBIBLE Revolve: Use code BITCH for 15% off your first order at www.Revolve.com/BITCH See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
July 7 · 1 hr 2 min
Dork Dork 2000
Jackie celebrates the union of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce by reviewing their modest guest list, describes Clyde’s role in her recent public nudity, and spreads the mantra of Hate Without Reason. Thanks for supporting my sponsors: Leesa: Get 25% off mattresses, plus an extra $50 off with promo code BIBLE at www.Leesa.com SKIMS: Shop SKIMS Cotton, and all of my favorite pieces at www.skims.com/bible Use code BITCH for 15% off your first order at www.Revolve.com/BITCH This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp: Sign up and get 10% off at www.BetterHelp.com/BITCHBIBLE Little Spoon: Use code BIBLE for 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
June 30 · 1 hr 7 min
Community in Misery.
Jackie’s in a mood after being continuously serenaded by Shakira seven days a week and discusses the most recent kerfuffle in the backyard renovation, her murderous Andrew fantasies, and her ability to perceive dark energy in the brightest of places. Thanks for supporting my sponsors: Jack Archer: Use code GETJACK to get 15% off your first order at www.JackArcher.com Boll & Branch: For a limited time, use code bitchbible to get 20% off sitewide at www.BollAndBranch.com/bitchbible The Absorption Company: Use code BITCHBIBLE at check out for up to 35% off your first order at www.AbsorbMore.com Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at www.Quince.com/BITCHBIBLE Nutrafol: Use code BIBLE to get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at www.Nutrafol.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
June 23 · 1 hr 6 min
The Patina Princess
Jackie is hunkered down against toxic smoke and gives an update on the backyard renovation, ridicules Andrew’s new recreational basketball league, and marvels at his lack of wedding music knowledge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
June 20 · 38 min
Bitch Bible Classics: $6.66
Jackie gets baptized after a demonic bowl of poke, discussed the highly anticipated sequel to "Frankly, Anne" and offers free public relation guidance to Rachel Hollis and Khloe Kardashian. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
June 16 · 58 min
Ugly, Fat, Poor
Jackie’s back after two weeks of guests and ready to rip into pregnancy discomfort, Anna Faris’ media appearances, and Kathleen. Especially Kathleen. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
June 9 · 56 min
Future Rich with Haley Sacks
Jackie is joined by Haley Sacks, Mrs. Dow Jones herself, to discuss making good decisions with money, why at-home laser hair removal is more financially responsible than professional services, and why Birkin bags are a bullshit investment. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
June 2 · 1 hr 2 min
Red Flags with Jared Freid
Jackie sits down with Jared Freid to discuss men worshiping at the altar of options, bridesmaid inflection, male influencers, and Jared’s new book Walking Red Flag. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
May 26 · 55 min
A Duplex of Disdain
Andrew makes a rare appearance to attest to Jackie’s record-setting recent bitchiness, while she gives the world a warning, reveals her kink, and updates her views on Danielle from Summer House. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
May 23 · 47 min
Bitch Bible Classics: Meet Me At Alcatraz!
Jackie leaves the country with a real bang by planning the Bitch Bible retreat at Alcatraz island, shares her most recent valley kabob experience, Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber TikTok trauma and why Anne Hathaway is a time traveler. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
May 19 · 1 hr 6 min
AcTuALLy
Jackie has a fresh appreciation for Bitch Bible listeners and gives her new critics a mantra to repeat, shares some big personal news, and contemplates starting a Go Fund Me. Thanks for supporting my sponsors: Boll & Branch: Use code bitchbible to get 20% off your first order, plus free shipping during the Memorial Day Sale at www.BollAndBrand.com/bitchbible OSEA: Use code JACKIE to get 10% off your first order site wide at www.OSEAMalibu.com Ritual: Save 25% on your first month at www.Ritual.com/BIBLE Rocket Money: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at www.RocketMoney.com/BIBLE ZBiotics: Use code BITCHBIBLE to get 15% off at checkout at www.ZBiotics.com/BITCHBIBLE Wayfair: Get prepped for patio season for way less at www.Wayfair.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
May 12 · 1 hr
Hallelujah
Jackie is fresh off celebrating herself for Mother’s Day and rips overly sentimental holiday social media posts, continues her delayed review of Summer House, and discovers the traits she shares with Joe Jackson. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
May 5 · 57 min
The Bitch Wears Prada, Too
Jackie is back from a weekend of circus acts, self-care, and Miranda Priestly and recounts a surprising trip to a psychic, reviews the Devil Wears Prada 2, and plans an upcoming Mother’s Day argument with Andrew. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
April 28 · 56 min
You Good Girl?
Jackie is getting over being possessed by a mysterious illness and gives her final thoughts about Alex Cooper and Alix Earle, describes how Clyde is a confident but grounded child with bullying in his blood, and expresses her fears for The Devil Wears Prada 2. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Bitch Bible

Bump Bible: A Gender Bender

Entertaining the Masses with Nina Parker

Bump Bible: Trepidatious

Straight Outta Economy

Bitch Bible Classics: Loner Boner

Welcome to the Bump Bible

The Chosen One

Dork Dork 2000

Community in Misery.

The Patina Princess

Bitch Bible Classics: $6.66

Ugly, Fat, Poor

Future Rich with Haley Sacks

Red Flags with Jared Freid

A Duplex of Disdain

Bitch Bible Classics: Meet Me At Alcatraz!

AcTuALLy

Hallelujah

The Bitch Wears Prada, Too

You Good Girl?