Skip to content
Artwork for Be Gay Solve Crimes
ComedyTV & FilmExplicit

Be Gay Solve Crimes

begaysolvecrimespodcast

A False Crime Podcast.

Join Mia Mulder, November Kelly, and their local librarian Lucy as they investigate pop-culture copaganda and solve the mystery of why they wanted to become detectives before they transitioned.

Play
  • 22 episodes
  • weekly
  • Avg 51 min
  • English
Counted on this page — what you have heard stays on this device, so it is not something the list can be paged by.
  • #27
    Wednesday · 1 hr 48 min

    Episode 14 - The Long Goodbye (1973)

    This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're going back to 1970s Los Angeles if you can imagine such a thing. It's the Raymond Chandler classic The Long Goodbye with our beloved work-husband Philip Marlowe! Join us as you hallucinate us all hosting a podcast for you, Nova outlines exactly which hobbies are sure signs of trans-femininity, Mia tells us about what it is about Mexico that gets her dog all hot under the collar, and Lucy gives us her best Donald Trump impression. If that wasn't enough, beloved professional automotive journalist Victoria Scott hops on to share her professional automotive opinions! If you want to hear more Be Gay Solve Crimes, you should sign up to our Patreon! For as little as £5 a month you can get access to a new bonus episode from us every fortnight as well as all our previous bonus episodes. Join us next week for The Naked Gun (1988)! Be Gay Solve Crimes are on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy, who writes all the music for the show.

  • #26
    August 26 · 6 min

    [PREVIEW] Episode M - Black Coal, Thin Ice (Bonus Episode)

    This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we welcome the Chinese century with our most Brackets Chinese detective movie yet. A film that might be described as “what if someone made Disco Elysium the movie but set in Heilongjiang instead of Estonia.” It’s Black Coal, Thin Ice (2014), a.k.a. Daylight Fireworks. Join us for a 2 hour extravaganza where we take a firm stance against the Nightcrawler Body-Cam school of fight scene cinematography, Mia practices her Chinese pronunciation, Lucy gets advice on how to reverse her telomeres (whatever those are), and all three of us have wildly conflicting interpretations about the ending. To listen to the full version of this bonus episode, head on over to our Patreon, where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to the rest of this episode as well as every bonus episode we've ever done! Be Gay Solve Crimes are on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy, who writes all the music for the show. Join us next time for a dose of Elliott Gould as Philip Marlowe in The Long Goodbye (1973)

  • S1 · E25
    August 19 · 1 hr 37 min

    Episode 13 - Sherlock Holmes (2009)

    This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we thought it was about time we checked in on our Boy* in the Deerstalker**, and what better place to find him than Guy Ritchie's 2009 brawl-fest Sherlock Holmes (2009) starring the acclaimed actor Robert Downey's acclaimed actor son. Join us as Nova gets discombobulated by Hans Zimmer doing terrible things to a piano, Mia finally divulges her bedtime (so you can all stop asking now), and Lucy engages the deep librarian-mode in defence of a director who is so blokey that even his parents named him Just Some Dude. If you want to hear more Be Gay Solve Crimes, you should sign up to our Patreon! For as little as £5 a month you can get access to a new bonus episode from us every fortnight as well as all our previous bonus episodes. Join us next week for Black Coal Thin Ice (2014)! Be Gay Solve Crimes are on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy, who writes all the music for the show. *Not a boy. **Not a deerstalker.

  • S1 · E24
    August 12 · 10 min

    [PREVIEW] Episode L - Rear Window (Bonus Episode)

    On this week's bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're getting voyeuristic about it Alfred Hitchcock-style with the curtain-twitching classic Rear Window (1954), featuring simultaneously the best dressed and worst dressed arm-chair sleuths we've yet seen. Join us as we give ourselves Grace Kelly dysphoria, Mia comes out swinging on behalf of Team "Rear Window Is Bad", Nova talks us through what goes into her perfect Jimmy Stewart Impression, and Lucy finally introduces herself properly after all this time. To hear the full version of this bonus episode, head over to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to all our future fortnightly bonus episodes as well as every bonus episode we've made so far! Be Gay Solve Crimes are on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy, who writes all the music for the show. Join us next time for Sherlock Holmes (2009)!

  • #23
    July 29 · 1 hr 19 min

    Episode 12 - Hank Quinlan in Touch of Evil (1958)

    This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we’re getting in touch with the evil side of detectives, where policing, repression, and even Hollywood makeup can get a shade too dark. That’s right, it’s Orson Welles’ Touch of Evil (1958). Join us as we all fangirl over one of our favourite honey-voiced filmmakers, Nova recounts the anecdote of the angriest she’s ever seen Lucy, Mia goes to war with a fly, and we all do our best not to lib out. If you want to hear more Be Gay Solve Crimes, you should sign up to our Patreon! For as little as £5 a month you can get access to a new bonus episode from us every fortnight as well as all our previous bonus episodes. Join us next week for a film Orson Welles despised, it’s the Alfred Hitchcock classic Rear Window. Be Gay Solve Crimes are on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy, who writes all the music for the show.

  • #22
    July 22 · 8 min

    [PREVIEW] Episode K - Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Featuring Devon! (Bonus Episode)

    On this extra special bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're joined by our dear friend Devon of Kill James Bond to talk about one of the most transgender detective films of all time, a movie we've been itching to do ever since we started this podcast, it's the hybrid cartoon film noir classic, Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988). Join us as Nova activates theologian mode to explore the theological implications of the Cartoon Soul, Mia activates historian mode to work out just how much critical support we can give Goofy for his espionage allegations, Devon activates cartography mode to navigate The Pelt of Hoskins, and Lucy accidentally derails the entire podcast by sending a NSFW picture to the group chat. To hear the full version of this bonus episode, head over to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to all our future fortnightly bonus episodes as well as every bonus episode we've made so far! Be Gay Solve Crimes are on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy, who writes all the music for the show. Join us next time for Touch of Evil!

  • #21
    July 15 · 1 hr 11 min

    Episode 11 - The Nice Guys from The Nice Guys (2016)

    This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're boogying on down back to tinseltown for some 1970s crashout double act deliciousness, it's the eponymous "guys" from The Nice Guys (2016). Join us as we discover the fastest way of converting someone to Catholicism, the fastest way to convert someone to The Blue Man Group, and the fastest way to remind Lucy that she's lowkey kinda bisexual. If you want to hear more Be Gay Solve Crimes, you should sign up to our Patreon! For as little as £5 a month you can get access to a new bonus episode from us every fortnight as well as all our previous bonus episodes. Join us next week for Who Framed Roger Rabbit. The Be Gay Solve Crimes team is made up of November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy. If you like what we do, be sure to retweet us to help us spread the word!

  • S1 · E20
    July 8 · 6 min

    [PREVIEW] Episode J - The Maltese Falcon (Bonus Episode)

    On this week’s Bonus Episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we’re on the hunt for a legendary movie, one of the best of all time, so we’re told. But when we find it, will it be everything that we hoped it would be? That’s right, we’re doing The Maltese Falcon! Join us as we get lost in a plot that pulls a 180° every single sentence, discuss the praxis of blowing kisses at cops, and we get a little sidetracked by Podcast Enhancing Drugs. To hear the full version of this bonus episode, head over to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to all our future fortnightly bonus episodes as well as every bonus episode we've made so far! Be Gay Solve Crimes are on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy, who writes all the music for the show. Join us next time for The Nice Guys!

  • S1 · E19
    July 1 · 1 hr 12 min

    Episode 10 - Foster from Super Troopers (2001)

    This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, Nova rolls a natural twenty on the most insanely unlikely movie pull yet. It’s the exhaustively-memed early-00s stoner comedy Super Troopers, and for some reason it’s more transgender than we could have possibly guessed. Join us for Barefoot Cops, frozen bananas, sublimated homosexuality, and a guy eating a whole plate of cannabis. Hold on, wait, didn't we do that episode last week? If you want to hear more Be Gay Solve Crimes, you should sign up to our Patreon! For as little as £5 a month you can get access to a new bonus episode from us every fortnight as well as all our previous bonus episodes. Tune in next week for The Maltese Falcon! The Be Gay Solve Crimes team is made up of November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy. If you like what we do, be sure to retweet us to help us spread the word!

  • S1 · E18
    June 24 · 8 min

    [PREVIEW] Episode I - Doc and Bigfoot in Inherent Vice (Bonus Episode)

    On this bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we turn on, tune in, and drop out for a groovy double-LP of an episode with two detectives for the price of one. That’s right, daddio, it’s Inherent Vice! Come join us as we give ourselves 1960s hippie dysphoria, discuss the best technique for eating a frozen banana, and calculate exactly how hench you’d have to be to body a toilet cistern lid to the skull. To hear the full version of this bonus episode, head over to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to all our future fortnightly bonus episodes as well as every bonus episode we've made so far! Be Gay Solve Crimes are on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy, who writes all the music for the show. Tune in next time for Super Troopers!

  • S1 · E17
    June 17 · 1 hr 18 min

    Episode 9 - Mercy (2026)

    This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we take a detour from the classics to have a proper gander at the copaganda screenwriters are making today. And it turns out, they don't make 'em like they used to. That's right, it’s the alarmingly recent and alarmingly cisgender Mercy (2026). Join us to see just how long it takes us to give up mashing a square peg into a round hole, Mia gives us advice on how to mod The Sims, and Nova lets us know what the hell she meant by the phrase "White Timothy McVeigh". If you want to hear more Be Gay Solve Crimes, you should sign up to our Patreon! For as little as £5 a month you can get access to a new bonus episode from us every fortnight as well as all our previous bonus episodes. We've got one on Disco Elysium, on Silence of the Lambs, on LA Noire, on that one Simpson's episode where Mr Burns gets shot, Nancy Drew, Nick Valentine from Fallout 4, and Blade Runner! Join us next week for Inherent Vice! The Be Gay Solve Crimes team is made up of November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy. If you like what we do, be sure to retweet us to help us spread the word!

  • S1 · E16
    June 10 · 10 min

    [PREVIEW] Episode H - I from I, Robot (Bonus Episode)

    On this bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we don our blood filled black leather converse all stars for a trip back to I, Robot (2004), based on some of Isaac Asimov's best sentences. Join us as we welcome Mia Mulder home and finally discover her opinions on Columbo, hear us explain to you to the family-unfriendly rules of The Shia LeBeouf Game, and enjoy the patreon-exclusive privilege of all three of us telling you what a bad bad naughty bad robot you are. To hear the full version of this bonus episode, head over to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to all our future fortnightly bonus episodes as well as every bonus episode we've made so far! Be Gay Solve Crimes are on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy, who writes all the music for the show. Tune in next time for something a little less retro, the 2026 film Mercy. Same Gay Time, Same Gay Channel.

  • #15
    June 3 · 1 hr 18 min

    Episode 8 - Columbo from Columbo

    This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're joined by our dear friend Josh Boerman (host of Worst of All Possible Worlds and Ill Conceived!) for an episode all about that scruffiest of detectives, Columbo. Specifically in... uhh... [spinning a big wheel] ...Season 2, Episode 5? Requiem For A Falling Star? Join us as we dive into a feast of Old Hollywood Lesbianism, Lucy reveals exactly what would make her betray her union, Nova gives us self-defence advice, and we all collectively lose our mind about the most Theatre Kid cameo in the world. Also, our beloved Professional Automotive Journalist Victoria Scott swings by to give us her Professional Automotive Journalistic Opinion on Columbo's beloved old banger! If you want to hear more Be Gay Solve Crimes, you should sign up to our Patreon! For as little as £5 a month you can get access to a new bonus episode from us every fortnight as well as all our previous bonus episodes. We've got one on Disco Elysium, on Silence of the Lambs, on LA Noire, on that one Simpson's episode where Mr Burns gets shot, Nancy Drew, Nick Valentine from Fallout 4, and Blade Runner. Next week, Mia will be back with us for I, Robot! The Be Gay Solve Crimes team is made up of November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy. If you like what we do, be sure to retweet us to help us spread the word!

  • S1 · E14
    May 27 · 9 min

    [PREVIEW] Episode G - BLADE RUNNER (Bonus Episode)

    On this Patreon exclusive bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're gonna keep riding this Philip K Dick train all the way into android town. That's right, it's the surprisingly sleepy BLADE RUNNER (1982). Join us as we discuss Harrison Ford's slutty little waist, Mia lays out a theory about Making The Pimp Hat work, Lucy discusses the literary legacy of Orc City and accidentally starts a fight with 50% of writers everywhere, and November somehow gets us talking about Fallout New Vegas again. To hear the full version of this bonus episode, head over to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to all our future fortnightly bonus episodes as well as every bonus episode we've made so far! Be Gay Solve Crimes are on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy, who writes all the music for the show. Oh, and just one more thing.... next week we're doing Columbo.

  • #13
    May 20 · 1 hr 57 min

    Episode 7 - Minority Report (2002)

    This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we’re cruising on over to the noughties to watch the ever-prescient Steven Spielberg film Minority Report (2002), based on the classic novella by Philip K Dick. Join us for a vision of a future where we blow our entire Patreon budget on milk baths and pass the savings onto you, where a Colin Farrell can be too Catholic even for November Kelly, and how shaven a Tom Cruise can be narrowly avoids becoming a lawsuit. We've got babygirl Pool-Boys, Twinks From The Fed, Emotional-Support Enbies. It's a gender kaleidoscope, folks. If you want to hear more Be Gay Solve Crimes, you should sign up to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to a new bonus episode from us every fortnight as well as all our previous bonus episodes. We've got one on Disco Elysium, on Silence of the Lambs, on LA Noire, on that one Simpson's episode where Mr Burns gets shot, Nancy Drew, and Nick Valentine from Fallout 4! Join us there next time for BLADE RUNNER! The Be Gay Solve Crimes team is made up of November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and their local librarian Lucy.

  • S1 · E12
    May 13 · 12 min

    [PREVIEW] Episode F - Nick Valentine in Fallout 4 + Far Harbor (Bonus Episode)

    On this Patreon exclusive bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're checking in on our dear friend, the synth detective himself, Nick Valentine from Fallout 4 and Far Harbor. Join us as Lucy gets immediately sidetracked into talking about Fallout: New Vegas, Mia and Nova join forces to try and mod in a jerry-built judicial system to the post-apocalypse, and Nick Valentine gives us all some much needed heckling. To hear the full version of this bonus episode, head over to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to all our future fortnightly bonus episodes as well as every bonus episode we've made so far! Be Gay Solve Crimes are on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy, who writes all the music for the show.

  • S1 · E11
    May 6 · 1 hr 42 min

    Episode 6 - Inspector Gadget 2 (2003)

    This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're leapfrogging right into Inspector Gadget 2! The one with the Girl Inspector Gadget, who looks remarkably like a friend of ours. Join us on the goopiest episode yet as we introduce you all to our new beloved cyborg co-host Robo-Nova, wade into a whole new world of viscous hot pink gunge to pick apart exactly in what ways a movie can be racist towards a car, and Mia interrogates Lucy about a mystery piercing... If you want to hear more Be Gay Solve Crimes, drop what you're doing right now and head on over to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to a new bonus episode from us every fortnight as well as all our previous bonus episodes. We've got one on Disco Elysium, on Silence of the Lambs, on LA Noire, on that one Simpson's episode where Mr Burns gets shot and Nancy Drew! Join us there next time as we take on Nick Valentine from Fallout 4! The Be Gay Solve Crimes team is made up of November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and their local librarian Lucy.

  • S1 · E10
    April 29 · 6 min

    [PREVIEW] Episode E - Nancy Drew feat. Victoria Scott (Bonus Episode)

    On this extra special Patreon exclusive bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're investigating the beloved all-american classic Nancy Drew, joined by our own beloved american class act and dear dear friend Victoria Scott, host of the podcast Tran Girlismo! Specifically, we're covering the 2007 eponymous film that literally none of us remembers existing. Join us as we give ourselves Precocious Darling Dysphoria, take turns dunking on a leather-jacketed 12-year-old boy who is somehow already locked on the path to getting Me Tooed, and Nova and Lucy get into an escalating arms race that threatens their very sanity. To hear the full version of this bonus episode, head over to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to all our future fortnightly bonus episodes as well as every bonus episode we've made so far! You can also follow Be Gay Solve Crimes on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the BGSC team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy. Next week, Mia will be back with us for Inspector Gadget 2!

  • #9
    April 22 · 1 hr 44 min

    Episode 5 - Lisbeth Salander & Mikael Blomkvist in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2005/2009/2011)

    This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, things are finally getting Swedish round here as we dig out the files on Stieg Larsson's posthumous novel Men Who Hate Women, and its two separate film adaptations; The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. But which one are we watching, I hear you ask? Yes. Could we have planned this better? Yes. Join us for a Scandinavian smorgasbord where Lucy gets pretty convinced that the layout of chess pieces is key to unlocking the mystery, Nova takes us on a much needed detour to a tranquil oasis spa retreat, and Mia keeps everyone afloat by revealing her unfiltered Swedish accent in all its glory. If you want to hear more Be Gay Solve Crimes, drop what you're doing right now and head on over to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to a new bonus episode from us every fortnight as well as all our previous bonus episodes. We've got one on Disco Elysium, on Silence of the Lambs, on LA Noire, on that one Simpson's episode where Mr Burns gets shot. Next time, we'll be watching Nancy Drew (2007) with our first special guest Victoria Scott, automotive journalist, photographer extraordinaire, and host of the wonderful podcast Tran Girlismo! The Be Gay Solve Crimes team is made up of November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and their local librarian Lucy.

  • S1 · E8
    April 15 · 9 min

    [PREVIEW] Episode D - Who Shot Mr Burns? (Bonus Episode)

    On this Patreon exclusive bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we blow the lid on a 30 year old case by analysing the classic Simpsons two parter 'Who Shot Mr Burns?' "But wait, I thought it was the baby?" Oh ho, my friend, I'm afraid you could not be wrongerer. Join us for an unexpected jazz extravaganza as we tap-dance over the minefield of Nova's competing podcast contractual obligations, wax nostalgic over the queen of our hearts Waylon Smithers, and Lucy goes a bit Pepe Silvia digging into the dark Lynchian underbelly of Springfield's suburbia to determine once and for all just how guilty Maggie Simpson is. To hear the full version of this bonus episode, head over to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to all our future fortnightly bonus episodes as well as every bonus episode we've made so far. You can also follow Be Gay Solve Crimes on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the BGSC team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy.

Showing 1–20 of 22 episodes