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BDM Member Shows

Tom Vann & Dan Dennis

The download feed for BDM Member Shows from Tom and Dan.

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  • 20 episodes
  • Avg 1 hr 40 min
  • English
  • Yesterday · 1 hr 6 min

    BDM - Hot Pig

    A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan (BDM Member Show) - Episode Notes Episode: "Hot Pig" Hosts: Tom Vann, Dan Dennis | Guest: Ross (third mic for most of the show) Sponsors / Ad Reads None. No sponsor segments in this episode. The hosts mention they're trying to work with Sanford International Airport and Hooters, but there are no ad reads. Segment Rundown Cold open: BDM Russ complaint. BDM Russ is still mocking the new tomanddan.com website because he wants the old clunky one back. The hosts say he never answered the rude reply he got, so his original email complaint stands. Cows and Cabs hangover. Both hosts are still hungover from Saturday's Cows and Cabs, a very upscale food and wine festival in Winter Park. They got in through a trade deal. They describe how absurd the amount of free food and booze from Orlando's high-end restaurants is. Eating light all day to save room backfired. A host says years of free food in green rooms have taken the thrill out of it, and Chris Crespo's monthly donut run gets a mention. Dunkin' sprinkle munchkins detour. A host waited about 30 minutes at a turnpike Dunkin' and walked out when he saw there were no sprinkle cake munchkins. Maisie got them for him later. Mixing drinks and blacking out. The hosts list the night's lineup: Dos Equis, Twisted Tea, two big Patron margaritas in pineapple cups, peanut butter tequila and Jameson. Dan blacked out in the Uber home, and Andrea had to tell him the next day how nice the driver was. He also binged Maisie's secret bag of Utz chips and left the kitchen looking like a frat house. "Beer before liquor" gets debated, along with a Willy Wonka bit about drinking the chocolate river. The resolution is light beer only from now on. BDMs spotted at the event included Busteker, Brendan O'Connor in a cowboy hat, Mike and Katrina, and the Jeff's Bagel Run crew. Cruise pianist rescue debate. A Royal Caribbean pianist was found by fishermen after about 20 hours treading water, 15 to 20 miles off California near Catalina Island. Tom floats the theory that the rescue would feel "less heroic" if the man went overboard on purpose. The others push back, and the group works through hypotheticals (mafia, drugs, an accident) that move the "hero score" up or down. Ross argues that someone who fought that hard to survive is likely to do more with his life. Tom's "hard stances" start getting counted. Cruise cameras and photo sales. The hosts agree cruise ships have cameras everywhere. Tom's wife was unsettled when ship photographers' pictures of her vanished from the atrium display after someone bought them. At Cows and Cabs, a cookie of their dog Dansby printed for Maisie got stolen, and they had to make another. They also criticize comedy club photo upsells: the Funny Bone camera's beautifying filter, pre-printed hard sells, the wasteful cardboard sleeves, and framed cruise photos at home being "trashy." Looking like your spouse. The hosts discuss long-married couples starting to look like siblings. Tom's comments on the topic add to his running list of hard stances. All-gender bathrooms and RunPee. Tom complains about unisex bathrooms. Others point out Europe, Fest porta-potties and newer restaurants that use single-stall rooms. Crystal used RunPee.com to time a movie bathroom break, found the women's room closed, and lost about five minutes because Tom told her someone was in the men's room. Food hall bathroom mystery. A host couldn't figure out how to open either restroom door at a food hall. His wife then watched an apparent employee and a disheveled woman leave the same restroom one after the other. This leads to a short tangent about public restrooms and spouses who will never go along with that idea. Ross's casino tour. Ross describes the huge Guitar Hotel at Seminole Hard Rock Hollywood, which has a long mall walk and tight odds, and Calder Casino, a non-Seminole casino tied to the Churchill Downs owners. His new favorite is a small Seminole casino and hotel at Brighton on Lake Okeechobee that opened in 2025. It has $5 craps tables, rooms around $200 (versus $600 in Tampa or $1,000 in Miami), historic Seminole photos and art, wood-fire steaks, and Larry the Cable Guy coming soon. Lake Okeechobee deep dive. The drive along the lake shows nothing but a roughly 50-foot levee. Other points covered: the cross-state canal route by boat, the lake's average depth of about 9 feet, a reported 6,500-acre brush fire inside the lake bounds last year, and the name meaning "big water." The hosts agree it's a part of Florida most people skip. Lauderdale-by-the-Sea. Ross got stuck in South Florida after gambling in Miami and found Lauderdale-by-the-Sea. He praises an Italian bakery's donut, the 1924 founding story on a pier plaque, and how quiet the town stays even at spring break. The hosts list other Florida spots they'd like to explore: the Panhandle, Northeast Florida, springs and Cocoa. Tom's boat and canoe. Tom's boat motor is close to dying, and the canoe he bought barely gets used. His boys would rather walk to a dock and fish, and he has taken them fishing daily for nearly a week. They joke that he's "King Loader" with kids who won't load. Hard Rock comps. Ross is at Hard Rock's top tier. Perks so far: a stand mixer, a free bottle of booze every Wednesday in November (his "casino bar"), $55 in free play every other day, and an offer to fly him from Sanford International to Atlantic City this weekend. The hosts call him "Craig Jr." A host once won a cruise on a cruise by playing video poker. Everyone praises the Sanford airport. Voicemail: expired lotto tickets? A listener asks whether the lotto tickets in the Friday Free Show gift bag will be expired. The hosts jokingly defend Dan and "the dance." Voicemail: Three Musketeers history. Zach from Ohio explains that Three Musketeers started as three bars: chocolate, vanilla and strawberry. Mars launched it in 1932 and dropped the extra flavors during WWII sugar rationing. This leads to Tom's dad's love of Neapolitan ice cream and their fights over scooping out only the strawberry, Milky Way versus Three Musketeers, and a Combos debate (pretzel vs. cracker, the salsa flavor). One host suggests sourdough pretzels with a hunk of cheddar instead. Tom Vann fun fact: Dock of the Bay. The whistling in "(Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay" was a placeholder for lyrics. Otis Redding died in a plane crash on December 10, 1967, at age 26. Steve Cropper finished the track and added the seagulls and waves Redding had wanted. Does dying young make a legacy? The hosts debate whether artists who die young become more iconic. Examples: Sublime's Bradley Nowell, Kurt Cobain, early Kanye, and Tupac and Biggie hypotheticals. Ozzy is the counterexample: a full life lived in public, a reality show that made him look foolish, and a rediscovered solo catalog after the Halloween Horror Nights house. They also cover Rent, staged without its creator's rewrites, and A Confederacy of Dunces, the posthumous novel that Will Ferrell was once attached to adapt. Voicemail: anime rec from BDM Mike. Mike recommends a Netflix sci-fi Western anime for Tom's sons (he spelled it "Bass Machina"). Someone notes there were no Black cowboys, or Black attendees at all, at Cows and Cabs. Tom says his sons should be the ones recommending anime. He complains about the trend of long sentence-style titles and plots where gamers get trapped in the game. Garage door rods vs. AI. Ross catches Tom cherry-picking AI advice. Tom's wife asked AI and was told that storing fishing rods on the garage door is a bad idea. She worries the motor is struggling and now uses the front door. Tom insists the weight is negligible and compares it to the difference between .05 and .06 BAC. Others suggest an elephant-foot umbrella stand instead. The transcript has a glitch and gap here. The Edgar haircut. A voice explains where the term "Edgar" comes from and describes the cut: blunt front, mullet back. The hosts suggest Tom get a dyed Edgar. Tom denies dyeing his hair, says he could never keep plastic surgery secret, and talks about Rogaine and the "pink tax." Aging and the "Hot Pig" close. The hosts talk about confusing normal aging (receding hairlines, random soreness, forgetting why you walked into a room) with illness, and about slower recovery. This loops back to the Cows and Cabs blackout. Dan explains he overheated and slept naked in front of a fan like a "hot pig," which is where the episode title comes from. The show ends with a handoff to the OG recap. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned December 10, 1967: Otis Redding's fatal plane crash (fun fact segment). 1924: Founding of Lauderdale-by-the-Sea, per the pier plaque. 2025: The new Seminole casino and hotel at Brighton on Lake Okeechobee opened. Last year: The roughly 6,500-acre brush fire inside Lake Okeechobee's bounds. Two weekends ago: Ross's night at the Brighton casino, then on to Miami. Saturday: Cows and Cabs food and wine festival, Winter Park. This past weekend: Ross gambling in Miami and staying in Lauderdale-by-the-Sea. Every Wednesday in November: Hard Rock bottle-of-booze comp for Ross. November 11 to 14: Hard Rock's comped trip offer from Sanford International to Atlantic City. Coming soon: Larry the Cable Guy at the Brighton casino. Monthly: Chris Crespo's donut delivery. Ongoing: Friday Free Show gift bag with lotto tickets. Ongoing: Voicemail line 1-844-866-6326, or leave a message through Mediocre Messages in the Mediocre app. Ongoing: The hosts are pursuing partnerships with Sanford International Airport and Hooters. Next: The OG recap. Notable Guests/Callers Ross: In-studio third voice. Leads the casino, Lake Okeechobee, Lauderdale-by-the-Sea and Hard Rock comp segments and challenges Tom on AI. BDM Russ: Member whose website complaint email opens the show (not on air). Unnamed voicemail caller: Asks whether the Friday Free Show lotto tickets will be expired. Zach from Ohio: Voicemail with the Three Musketeers history. BDM Mike: Voicemail with a Netflix anime recommendation for Tom's sons. Unidentified voice: Explains where the "Edgar" haircut term comes from (seems to be a clip or caller, not clearly labeled in the transcript).

  • Yesterday · 1 hr 57 min

    OG 707 - Rumpelstiltskin Business Dance

    A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan (OG Show) - Episode Notes Episode: "Rumpelstiltskin Business Dance" (OG 707, replaying show 683 "Life is Fake" from August 12, 2022) Hosts: Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, Samantha (producer, 2022 show) | Guest: Seth Petruzzelli (in studio, 2022 show); Ross joins the new 2026 intro Sponsors / Ad Reads Streamline Mortgage Solutions: Read on mortgages, refis and home equity conversion mortgages (reverse mortgages) for people 62 and over. The read covers what Leo, the COO, told the hosts: lock in equity while home values are high, the loans are government insured, and there are new safeguards plus a sit-down to make sure you understand it. Visit streamlineflorida.com (Tom and Dan logo, with owner Brian's cell to call or text) or streamlinecalifornia.com, since they now service California. Five years sponsoring with no complaints. Tell them you're a BDM. Injured On The Go, Just Call Moe: Quick plug for justcallmoe.com inside Seth's good/bad intro. Moe is also testing for his next belt at Seth's dojo. Danger Brain: Presents "Dump Them Out." Branding agency the hosts have used since around 2009 for their logos, for small businesses that need a new brand or a refresh (dangerbrain.com). Tom and Dan merch: TD villain dopp kit is the featured item, with surprise extras tucked inside by merch guy Eric. Tom and Dan Airbnb: Book at airtnd.com. It's in Sanford, within walking distance of the downtown bars and restaurants. Segment Rundown 2026 intro OG intro: show 683 recap. The hosts run through the 2022 rundown: Josh Wolfe's interview (he and his son Jacob now tour as a father-son comedy team), recruiting Seth's wife Tracy as a camel girl, Seth's Hummer gate crash, the Antonio Brown list, Hard Knocks and Tommy Lee. Tom revisits the voicemail question about getting back his dad and brother versus never having his boys, and the hosts agree the answer is obvious. Who was that guy? A listener going back through very old episodes found the hosts and Ross talking about Iran getting nukes, which Tom doesn't remember. The hosts reflect on how 20 years of recording yourself shows how much you change. A listener-historian who planned to visit Orlando has since gone quiet. Viral Rory Gilmore costume. A host's wife dressed as Rory from Gilmore Girls for Halloween. Her photo hit about 6.2 million views after the actor who plays Luke shared it. She turned notifications off, to her husband's frustration. The hosts agree virality rarely turns into anything (maybe eight new BDMs) and that nostalgia is a powerful driver. Rumpelstiltskin AI dance. Tom explains the viral AI video of a dancing Rumpelstiltskin, which spread to NFL end-zone celebrations, a Riff Raff parody and Fred Durst doing it on stage with Limp Bizkit. Tom wishes he'd dressed as it for Halloween but says the trend is already dead. Miami oddities. Chickens roam the McDonald's drive-thru in Miami. That leads to a story about a middle school girlfriend's mom who swore a chupacabra was eating their goats and chickens, which a host calls the start of his skepticism. At Hard Rock Miami: white powder all over a slot machine, a very fast-talking man nearby, and a narrow nose-height shelf behind the bathroom toilets. They also noticed many women in post-rhinoplasty bandages. The hosts send listeners into the OG recap. 2022 show (show 683, "Life is Fake") Cold open: Josh Wolfe's visit. The hosts admit they're unprepared again. Comedian Josh Wolfe was in studio earlier and took his shirt off, followed by body-fat banter. Krista from the Improv also stopped by. Seth calls out the hosts for never coming to his events, and they remember watching his Kimbo fight on their phones during a Disney 5K that Seth sprinted through just to get it over with. Dopp kit and koozies. The TD villain dopp kit gets pitched, and Tom jokes it's really a "drug bag" like the one by his nightstand. Merch guy Eric will add surprise extras. The hosts roast the koozies Seth hands out at his karate dojo as a sure sign of strip-mall business culture. Camel girl search for the beach party. The BDM beach party is set for Hobo Fish Camp, with professional photos by Tony. Tom's camel girl agency has closed, and promo girls seem to be extinct, so he polls in-studio listeners and asks whether ring girls are still a thing. Seth says one of his fighters works as a ring boy. Tom goes over the cost (about $175, a two-and-a-half-hour minimum, plus a tip) and floats asking Tracy. Seth says he feels "used" and "cheap." Other options: Seth's niece's friend, and Tom's old giraffe mask from the original bit. A past model once asked to wear shorts instead of a bikini, which turns into a "who's the better businessman" bit, and there's a short strip club tangent. Break music. The Interrupters, "As We Live" featuring Tim Armstrong. Seth's good/bad intro. After an Airbnb plug, Seth does his long caveman-style good/bad intro. Inside it: a Just Call Moe mention and talk about Moe making goof songs about Seth as his sensei. Bad story bonus: train horn. Seth put a train horn on his new H2 Hummer and blasted it at his 65-year-old sponsor, the owner of six Buffalo Wild Wings locations who had just committed around $15,000 and bought his cage, right after their meeting on International Drive. Bad story: the gate crash. Months later, around 2:30 a.m. after drinking, Seth crashed the Hummer through a brick apartment-complex gate while fighting his wife for his phone. Nobody was seriously hurt. He called a random tow company, tipped the driver $20, and left without police involved. The hosts note they now Uber and that today there would be cameras everywhere. St. Augustine fort. Seth admits he recently relieved himself on the Castillo de San Marcos at night during a getaway with Tracy, then spotted a camera. Includes a quick coquina explainer. Good story: beach push. At the beach with his brother, who can't exert himself, Seth helped push out a stuck car even though the driver rolled her eyes at them. Daytona sand bullies. Years ago, a Jeep full of college kids kept spraying sand on Tom and Crystal's truck in Daytona. The hosts compare how they handle confrontation: Tom vents to his wife with no plan to fight, Dan tries to de-escalate, and Seth does the math on taking on five guys. The "good" segment ends up mostly bad. Break music. Anti-Flag, "The Fight of Our Lives," returning on The Flatliners. Dump Them Out: Crash's arm. Former radio personality Crash nearly lost his arm to an infection after punching someone's tooth. Then a debate on whether a handful of sand to the eyes would actually stop a fighter. Antonio Brown list. The hosts read a Reddit list of Antonio Brown's career incidents, from FIU through the Steelers and Raiders to walking off the field. They debate "crazy vs. jerk" and compare him to Gary Busey. A side discussion covers the diva look of star wide receivers. Seth was an all-state high school center at about 245 pounds and was slated to play linebacker in college. Hard Knocks: Lions. Topics: Dan Campbell's crying speeches and whether emotional pep talks work at the pro level (Seth cried before every fight), rookie singing hazing including first-rounder Hutchinson, the new padded helmet caps, and when fans will stop caring about player safety. Tommy Lee's nude post. Tom says Maisie saw the photo over his shoulder while he scrolled Instagram. He took the hosts' advice and didn't over-explain. The hosts also discuss how long the post stayed up. Voicemail: the button question. A caller asks whether Tom would press a button to bring back his dad and brother Timmy if it meant never having Tommy and Max. Tom says no without hesitating, then describes a time-travel daydream about getting rich and decides it isn't worth it. Voicemail: "Doctor" and "Sensei." Zach from Ohio questions calling people "Chef" or "Doctor" outside work, mentioning his Christian high school teachers with theology doctorates. Seth explains sensei etiquette at his dojo, which turns into a BDM Infinity joke. Seth also covers his dojo's trial class and digital contracts, and the group talks about paper bills, a hot tub left on, and a pool heater sourced from a hotel. Plugs and close. Seth plugs his dojo and the Semantics podcast. The hosts promote the beach party (sand sculptors reportedly objected to the sand quality, so a listener sculpting contest is floated), Josh Wolfe at the Improv, Hourglass Brewing's anniversary and the dopp kit, then sign off until Monday. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned August 12, 2022: Original air date of show 683, "Life is Fake." That week (2022): Hourglass Brewing's 10-year anniversary at both locations, with BDM art for sale. That weekend (2022): Semantics podcast episode, possibly recorded over Zoom or released late (Twitch: twitch.tv/semanticsmedia; semanticspodcast.com). Saturday night late show (2022): Josh Wolfe at the Improv. Tom planned to attend and other BDMs bought tables. Monday (2022): Next show. TBD (2022): BDM beach party at Hobo Fish Camp. Invites go to BDMs plus a guest, with giveaways and photos. Halloween 2026: The viral Rory Gilmore costume post. Ongoing: TD villain dopp kit at tomanddan.com (about seven left at the time). Ongoing: Tom and Dan Airbnb in Sanford at airtnd.com. Ongoing: Karate of Orlando (karateoforlando.com, Instagram @karateoforlando) and The Jungle MMA (kickboxing, jiu-jitsu, MMA, boxing). Ongoing: Show line 1-844-TOM-N-DAN and show@tomanddan.com. Next: BDM show (from the 2026 intro). Notable Guests/Callers Seth Petruzzelli: In-studio guest (2022). Former MMA fighter and karate instructor; told the good/bad stories. Samantha: Producer on the 2022 show. Josh Wolfe: Comedian; his in-studio interview that morning is referenced throughout. Krista from the Improv: Stopped by with Josh Wolfe (mentioned). Ross: In the new 2026 intro. In-studio listeners: Polled about promo girls. Voicemail caller (name garbled in transcript): Asked Tom the button question. Zach from Ohio: Voicemail about the "Doctor" and "Chef" titles.

  • November 2 · 1 hr 8 min

    BDM - Pizza & Lake Fish

    A Mediocre Time with Tom & Dan: Episode Notes Episode: "Pizza and Lake Fish" (BDM Show) Hosts: Tom, Dan, Ross McCoy | Guest: None Sponsors / Ad Reads Wild Fork (Winter Park): This was an organic plug, not a formal ad read. Tom met with Brandon, the manager of the Winter Park store, about a possible ad partnership. Wild Fork sells flash-frozen meat, seafood and vegetables at low prices, including Wagyu, exotic meats, lobster tails and Christmas hams. You can order online and pick up. Dan buys his pork butts for smoking there. Listeners are asked to tell Brandon "I'm here because of Tom and Dan." Tom is working on a promo code that would work at all locations. Later, Tom's bathroom floor is covered in free frozen meat from the meeting. Segment Rundown Website and app help: BDMs having login trouble on the new website or app should email show@tomanddan.com. Longtime "legacy" listeners may need their credentials reset. The app is on about its ninth update, and Matthew and Jorge get credit for fixing problems quickly. Thanks to everyone reactivating or upgrading their memberships, since small business, especially in entertainment, has never been harder. Why entertainment is devalued: So much content means every piece is worth less. The hosts compare it to a barbecue place on every corner. That leads to celebrity side hustles and paintings: George W. Bush's are surprisingly decent. Hitler's, John Wayne Gacy's, Paul Stanley's and a Charles Manson sock spider are not. Halloween costumes: Tom dressed as a gnome, and his wife went as Rory from Gilmore Girls. Lots of "gnome dome" jokes, plus a Gauntlet "Wizard needs food" reference. The Wild Fork meeting: Tom tells the story of the meeting and his trouble pitching businesses that were burned by expensive mainstream media packages. He catches himself offering free advertising mid-pitch. The hosts riff that a silent gnome standing next to him wouldn't have helped. This is why they're "bad at business." Reddit and follow-through: Reddit doubts they'll ever do the BDM gold card. The hosts admit to a history of big talk, like the race car idea and the old bit about putting their boners together with a piece of paper in between, which they never did. Moe Comedy Jam chairs: $50 gift certificates were taped under seats at the Moe Comedy Jam. When the audience reached under their chairs, the hosts' table found only paper factory tags. Pizza and lake fish: Tom's main story. His son Tommy has wanted to catch and eat a lake fish ever since eating a fish they caught with Captain B. So on Sunday, Tom took Tommy and two friends to Secret Lake Park in Castleberry. He checked with AI first that the fish were safe to eat. They kept a six-inch bluegill alive in a bait bucket and lost a two-to-three-foot gar because Tom has no net. At home, in the pouring rain at 8 p.m., the boys followed a YouTube video of a French chef cooking baby bluegill. They killed it with a quick knife stab to the brain and scaled it with a butter knife, since the video said to use a spoon. Tom gutted it, cut the head off, battered it in stale cornmeal and fried it on a camping stove over a garbage bag "kill room." The three 12-year-olds ate the whole fish through the bones. Tom watched them for an hour afterward to be safe. Crystal wanted nothing to do with any of it. Jokes include a kid going to throw up in the "sexy bathroom," Tom's worry that the kids would tell their parents, and the python screwdriver method coming back. Tom admits he never learned to clean fish, though he keeps his late dad's named fillet knife in his top drawer. The hosts agree he needs to buy a fillet knife and are glad Tommy is excited about something that isn't a screen. BDM Charles call: Charles grew up eating bluegill, bass and catfish from Barnett Park in Pine Hills, and his own kids went to camp at Secret Lake. He says the kids will be fine. Next time he suggests bass or crappie, which are better eating, and a beer batter instead of cornmeal. He praises Tom for making the kids clean their own catch, and says he's about to take his 11-year-old granddaughter fishing. Freshwater fish talk: Dan grew up on ocean fish his dad caught and has only had catfish from fresh water. Catfish are bony, smelly, make noises and get nailed to a board to clean. Riffs on Florida's "real man animal atrocities" and Tommy someday wanting to shoot hogs from a helicopter. John Cusack's one-star Cameo: This is the topic they didn't get to on Friday. The hosts play both videos. In the first, Cusack is in a hood in what looks like a restaurant, reading the fan's note word for word for $180. After her one-star review, he sent a second video, introducing it by saying he'd read exactly what she asked since apparently he didn't say it right the first time. Then came the messages "I said exactly what you wanted, again, louder" and "I give you one star back." Topics: his reported reviews (reading scripts in places like Whole Foods, and one that appeared to be filmed on a toilet), his price dropping to half off after the press coverage, and Reddit stories calling him rude to servers while describing Joan Cusack as lovely. They compare Cameo celebrities who go above and beyond, like Ernie Hudson, Meredith from The Office, and William Shatner at about $2,000. Kevin and Creed from The Office reportedly made big money on Cameo. They speculate about Cameo paying stars for marketing deals. Cusack's reported net worth is about $50 million. Tom and Dan explain their own $20 Cameos, which run three to four minutes of improv. They once got a complaint for going off topic and sent a straight version as a redo. Cameo now offers celebrities a separate commercial rate for endorsements, which came up because Bam Margera once did a promo for them. The for-profit bowling tournament: Dan floats a T&D bowling tournament run for profit, not charity: Oviedo Bowling Center, sponsored lanes, bidding on teams led by show characters. Tom worries that celebrity events run for profit look cheesy, especially to people like Moe, and wonders who would need to be paid, from Ross and Sam to EJ, Cadillac Pat and Professor Hoodoo. Ross says he won't come for free. The rebrand idea: "Tom & Dan's For-Profit Celebrity Bowling Tournament: No Charity." Side notes: the recent Moe Comedy Jam raised $6,000 for the Yellow Brick Road Foundation and paid the comics. Tom gets teased about his "table of favors" and the free john boat. Scans and sketchy ads: An advertiser teased Tom about the show promoting a heart scan. The hosts riff on classic radio "scam" categories: diet pills, real estate seminars, solar, cash for gold, copper and laser stop-smoking treatments. Ross suggests money makes the mockery stop. Tom says he still cares what people think. BDM gold card: They agree to move forward with a gold card, possibly $500. Dan wants to put it up for sale and work out the perks as they go. Tom wants the benefits listed first. Jokes about a bdmcard.com page that just says "coming soon," "Ram Daveson," and a confused-dinosaur error page. Close: Another reminder to email show@tomanddan.com for account issues. See you on the OG Show. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned Last Friday: Tom's meeting with Brandon at Wild Fork in Winter Park. Last Sunday: The fishing trip to Secret Lake Park in Castleberry and the fish fry that night. Recently: The Moe Comedy Jam raised $6,000 for the Yellow Brick Road Foundation. Ongoing: Account and login help at show@tomanddan.com. The app was just updated again. Ongoing: Wild Fork in Winter Park. Tell Brandon that Tom and Dan sent you. A promo code may be coming. Ongoing: Tom & Dan Cameos, about $20. Proposed, no date: BDM gold card, possibly $500. Proposed, no date: A for-profit celebrity bowling tournament, possibly at Oviedo Bowling Center. Next: The OG Show. Notable Guests/Callers Ross McCoy: comedian and regular co-host, of The Orlando Talk Show. BDM Charles: caller who grew up fishing at Barnett Park, with batter tips and encouragement for Tom. Jimmy Blake (chat room): says to stab the fish behind the eyes.

  • November 2 · 2 hr 33 min

    OG 706 - Shower Sheets

    A Mediocre Time with Tom & Dan: Episode Notes Episode: "Shower Sheets" (OG Show #706, a replay of show #682, "Big Ol' T-Shirts," from August 5, 2022, with a new intro and outro) Hosts: Tom, Dan, producer Sam, and Ross on news | Guest: Andrea (Dan's wife, in studio for the Tyrone story) Sponsors / Ad Reads Sub Safe (T&D merch): featured merch, $15 at tomanddan.com. Keeps a sandwich from getting soggy or squished in a cooler. Ross admits he only uses his for weed. Firehouse Pressure Washing: new sponsor at the time. Locally owned by an active firefighter, at FirehousePressureWashing.com. The hosts riff on the crew being big, beefy firefighter types. Greg the Mattress Man: sponsors the email segment. Malouf products, cooling mattresses, hybrid gel pillows, bamboo sheets and adjustable beds, delivered and set up at your house. Text SEMANTICS to 321-521-2327. Segment Rundown New intro (recorded for the OG release) OG show setup: The hosts introduce the 2022 episode. It's from before Dan got Dansby, during the week they dog-sat Tyrone, a friend's dog, and Andrea had her yoga pants accident. A host remembers the title probably comes from his "fatter than ever" T-shirt pitch: a three-pack in XL, 2XL and 3XL so you can eat your way up the sizes. They list the original show's topics and note the French witch is back in the garage for another 364 days. Halloween has changed: Trick-or-treating has moved from knocking on doors to tables in the driveway since COVID. That kills both the scares and the disappointment. Topics include the old porch-light code, egging houses that didn't participate, and a neighbor named Ruth who stocks up on candy and gets no kids. Also: candy chutes off balconies in Baldwin Park, kids picking candy over toys, streets left looking like Mardi Gras the next day, a casino full of people still in costume at 7 a.m., kids zipping around on scooters, families working blocks out of minivans with the side door open, and police handing out glow necklaces while parents drink openly in the street. Open containers and blue laws: Gainesville lets you walk between venues with a beer. Some Florida counties are dry or have Sunday sales limits, and Georgia has "County Line" liquor stores. Orange and Seminole counties start Sunday beer sales at different times, which sends people driving farther for beer. A chat member says her area doesn't start until 12:45. Bathroom etiquette: Is it OK to ask a stranger on Halloween to use their bathroom? Everyone says yes. That leads to a story from the one-bathroom "Heroin Alley" house: Turkey Lake left an unflushed toilet right before a mom asked if her "princess" could use it. The public peeing debate: A long hypothetical about peeing behind a "shower sheet," including whether announcing it to a room of blind kids crosses a line. Dan describes using a pee pouch in his car on the drive to Gainesville and decides your car counts as your house. Also covered: crouching behind an open car door, a Live PD arrest, nature trails, a kayak run with no banks to stop at, the rule that you pee in the water, a Croc idea, and a boat urinal device one host's dad called a "tearlet." Debary Joe call: He calls in with a story about his dad almost getting arrested for peeing in the bushes at a 1996 Jimmy Buffett concert, when a cop lit him up with a spotlight. The line glitches into a robot voice and drops, and the hosts riff on him "going full computer." Shower sheet reveal: The chat asks what a "shower sheet" is. It's a shower curtain. The hosts let it slide on purpose, and it becomes the episode title. Intro plugs: Ross plugs The Orlando Talk Show and an upcoming episode with Mickey, plus Mickey and Jackie's podcast, Everything on Nothing. They pitch the Tom & Dan Cruise 2027 on MSC: gambling, private shows and Mediocre Idol karaoke judged by Tom, Dan and Ross, with talk of cutting songs short. Song ideas include "How Soon Is Now" and "Alice's Restaurant." Original show (August 5, 2022) Show open: Ross's son is driving him around now. The hosts point out it only took 21 years of raising him. BDM reminder: The BDM Beach Party was coming up in September, and you had to be a current BDM to get the invite. Lots of people's memberships lapse when their card changes. They usually email in angry and then apologize. Radio format flip: 103.1 The Wolf had flipped to Fly 103.1, a hits station. The hosts mock the name, the press release promising "the hottest prizes," and the commercial-free launch stunt. They talk through classic format-flip stunts, like playing one song for 24 hours or a fake classical flip. Tom asks why radio still matters next to Spotify and Tidal. The consensus is that radio works best with a curator like Joseph Martin, though Tom wants that on demand. Prediction: the old Wolf merch is sitting in a corner of the prize closet. Remote broadcast war stories: Empty radio remotes at car lots, live call-ins to grumpy board ops, Cactus Steve talking over the calls, and free Hungry Howie's pizza nobody wants at 10:30 a.m. in a 105-degree parking lot. Later, call-ins were prerecorded with a "telephone" button. A listener once asked them where their bikes were. One family showed up only for free pizza because the kids hadn't eaten breakfast. Ross at The Weeknd, part 1: The tour moved from Amway Center to stadiums after his Super Bowl halftime show, so Ross went to Raymond James Stadium in Tampa. His son drove them in the no-AC minivan, whose window only works with a Swiss Army knife. Ross drank champagne on the way and listened to a playlist of the set list. They parked in a granny's yard for $30, and an "extreme weather imminent" announcement went off on the walk in. The metal detector staff had left their posts in the rain, and a ticket scanner kept turning his phone the wrong way. Merch prices: $100 opener shirts, about $50 to $70 for Weeknd tees and long sleeves, a $35 trucker hat, and card only. Plus a monkeypox dad joke in the crowd. The openers fiasco: Doja Cat was supposed to open but canceled her summer for vocal surgery. One replacement opener said his gear got soaked and played off a laptop for about 15 minutes. Then the crew spent an hour breaking down his elaborate stage. The second listed opener never seemed to appear, and the hosts sort out which opener was which. They also talk about stadium spectacle, from Britney's dancers to Tom hiring go-go dancers for an event. The crowd was mostly teen girls. Wearing a band's shirt to its own show is fine now (sorry, PCU), partly because buying merch supports artists directly. The Weeknd, part 2: A changing cityscape stage, a giant moon that shows up mid-show, the mask reveal a few songs in, and a set list heavy on Dawn FM plus older material. His son drove him home. Then yard-parking horror stories, including being blocked in for hours near the Citrus Bowl at Warped Tour. Music and tangents: Bishops Green, "Waiting." Armor for Sleep, "How Far Apart." A Fly 103.1 joke about 7,000 songs to go. A Nelly Furtado tangent. Zoned out: Tom's son Tommy stares into space like his grandfather did. A three-generations photo at the "toot tree" at Johnny's. Dentist horror email: A listener says Novocaine made his tongue block his airway until the dentist held it. The hosts doubt that's possible. Andrea looks up whether you can swallow your tongue, and it's a myth. They talk about dental dams and gagging. Dan explains he likes controlling his own anxiety, the same way he handles stage fright. Breeding fetish email: A listener asks about guys who want to talk about getting her pregnant without actually wanting a baby. The hosts debate dirty talk with partners you don't know well, and Tom asks porn-terminology questions. Tangents: the old Dixie Stampede dinner show, and a BDM who found a video of himself online that he never uploaded. Swipe etiquette: A host took a photo to check some chafing and forgot to delete it before showing family photos. Their trainer Michael once looked over a shoulder at the wrong picture. Rule: never swipe through someone else's camera roll, and empty the trash folder. Andrea and Tyrone: Andrea joins to tell the story. They were dog-sitting Tyrone, a West Highland Terrier puppy. Maisie opened the garage door while he had no collar on, and he bolted across Lakemont. Andrea chased him barefoot for 17 minutes. Her Apple Watch logged it as a workout, which is how Dan found out from bed. A stranger helped corner him, then Tyrone sat down and let her pick him up. The adrenaline crash led to the yoga pants accident, plus bloody, blistered feet. Comparisons to their old, laid-back dogs, and talk of how scary it is to lose someone else's pet. Discipline debate: Ross's reactive dog, Tom's story of grabbing Tommy near a street, and whether a swat ever teaches anything. Dan explains he changed his mind on spanking: it teaches that the biggest person wins, not the actual lesson. Music: A Van Full of Nuns covering Taking Back Sunday's "Make Damn Sure." Sam T-shirt ideas from 2017: Sam found an old email of shirt ideas while looking for logos. A quick look at 2017 pop culture. The BDM-sourced ideas included "Sam Big Ol' Tees," an "All Day Suckers" design, Sam as the Little Mermaid, "Samantha's All Male Review," and Rosie the Riveter. Dinner shows: Medieval Times, the old King Henry's Feast (Tom's dad's verdict: dry chicken, smelled like a barn), Pirates Dinner Adventure, Arabian Nights, Teatro Martini and Sleuths, including a gift shop still selling shrink-wrapped cassettes around 2010. Also a story about a Pirates DVD taken from a radio station production room, and how dinner theaters got staff back after COVID. Spearfishing voicemail: A longtime listener from the Monsters days relates to Tom's search for a passion and suggests spearfishing. Tom says he doesn't trust himself with a spear or anything that needs safety logs. Tangents: powered paragliders, a Kook Slams crash into the ocean, and Andrea's dive log binders versus Tom never filling his out. French witch voicemail: A listener suggests hiding the French witch for a few months and then tossing it. Tom says his wife notices everything, like the time she found a stray hair tie in his truck. The other hosts point out the plan backfires if she asks to see it. Chat ideas include cheating on her with the French witch. Python news: Hunters caught a record 215-pound, 18-foot female Burmese python carrying 122 eggs. The hosts are horrified by the official humane method: stun the snake, then destroy the brain with a screwdriver ("pithing"). Tangents on dads protecting their screwdrivers and how little the hunts dent the population. Close: Plugs and a recap of the Tom Vann 15-mile challenge, where people doubted Tom could finish. Shoe-budget teasing, and a bet that Dan could beat Andrea barefoot. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned June 2022: Record 215-pound Burmese python caught (the news item). Weekend before Aug. 5, 2022: The Weeknd at Raymond James Stadium, Tampa (Ross's concert). Aug. 5, 2022 (night): Tom Vann 15-mile challenge audio and video on that night's A Corporate Time. Saturday after Aug. 5, 2022: Comedy at the Bull & Bush with Doug McPherson guest hosting. Ross's show there runs Wednesdays and the 1st and 3rd Saturdays. Sunday after Aug. 5, 2022: Semantics recording with Jesse from the Fourth and Dirty fantasy football podcast (the league commissioner) and Stevie. Monday after Aug. 5, 2022: BDM show with stories they couldn't tell on the free show. September 2022: BDM Beach Party. Current BDMs only, sign up at tomanddan.com. September 2027: Tom & Dan Cruise on MSC. Book at tomanddancruise2027.com. Ongoing: The Orlando Talk Show with Ross McCoy. The intro plugs an upcoming episode with Mickey. The original show mentions episodes with Sarah Kimbar and Moe DeWitt (Just Call Moe). Ongoing: Everything on Nothing, Mickey and Jackie's podcast. Ongoing: Sub Safe, $15 at tomanddan.com. Ongoing: Voicemail line, 1-844-TOM-N-DAN. Notable Guests/Callers Ross McCoy: on news, with the Weeknd concert recap and Orlando Talk Show plugs. Sam (Samantha): producer, who found the 2017 T-shirt email. Andrea: Dan's wife, in studio for the Tyrone escape story. Debary Joe: caller with the Jimmy Buffett near-arrest story. The call dropped. Spearfishing voicemailer: a longtime listener from the Monsters days. French witch voicemailer: suggests hiding it in the attic or pool shed. Dentist email writer: the Novocaine story. Breeding fetish email writer: a listener asking about dirty talk. Chat room: Jennifer (Sunday beer sale times), Melissa (a dad's funny words), and "BDM ex-con" (the French witch idea).

  • October 26 · 1 hr 7 min

    BDM - Dan VS Fest

    BDM Show - Episode Notes Episode: "Dan vs. Fest" Hosts: Tom Vann, Dan Dennis | Guest: Ross McCoy (in studio) Sponsors / Ad Reads None. No sponsor segments or ad reads in this episode. Long Drink comes up only as one of Fest's main sponsors in Dan's story. Segment Rundown Cold open: Dan at Fest. Dan went to his first Fest in Gainesville. He says there was a lot of crossover with BDM and Tom & Dan listeners, and jokes that a show tent handing out water would have won new fans. The hosts ask listeners to come say hi when they see them out, saying it's like a customer supporting a small business. There's a side joke about Shia LaBeouf and selfie seekers. Punk rock is accessible. Dan liked that band members from Lagwagon, Bouncing Souls and smaller acts were all out in the crowd and easy to talk to. He also shouts out the band Virginity (Casey's band), who were at Fest this year but didn't play. Biggest band debate. Lagwagon is named the most famous band there, but Dan says it was really Pup's crowd. Bouncing Souls and Lagwagon are the "old heads," and many other acts lean shoegaze, screamo or post-hardcore. Dan puts the average age around 30 since it's a college town. He praises Samantha for using Fest to discover new bands. Dan's punk Mount Rushmore. NOFX and the Descendents were already checked off. Lagwagon was the one he'd never seen, after sick days and conflicts, and despite reports about Joey Cape's voice and the band's money troubles. He thanks his co-host for getting him the passes. Tesla self-driving road trip. Dan's car drove him about 146 miles with no interventions while he drank Mountain Dew and listened to a curated Fest playlist. He shares his hat-and-sunglasses trick to stop the attention "nag," which leads to a crude riff from the hosts. He describes the confetti celebration at 100 miles and his spot on an online leaderboard (98.6% self-driven). He predicts all cars will drive themselves eventually and compares this to Cadillac's system, lane assist and Waymo. Battery talk. Robert in the chat asked about charging stops. Dan explains keeping the battery at 80% day to day and charging to 100% for trips. He arrived with about half his battery left. Sweetwater Branch Inn. Dan stayed at a cluster of cottages around a pink main house where a cook served a real Southern breakfast with cheese grits. It was his first true B&B (maybe besides Tuttle's wedding). Tom says he'd rather have breakfast delivered than make small talk with hungover strangers. They also discuss old-school metal keys. Wristband line myth busted. Debary Joe had warned of a four-to-six-hour wristband line at First Magnitude Brewing. Dan got through in 12 minutes, before finishing a free Miller High Life from a guy in line, and Mellow Mike was handing out chips and Fruit by the Foot. The hosts joke that Debary Joe has "lost his credibility" and talk about exaggerating for radio. Tom pitches expecting the worst so everything beats expectations. Wristband theory. Staff sized each wristband. A host's theory: the tighter the band, the fancier the event, citing the Halloween Horror Nights RIP tour. There's a bit about puffing up your wrist like an escape artist. Dan carried Tony Rage's wristband for him. The policy is one and done if you lose it. First sets. Dan caught 500 Bucks, a band with teenage members, and friends of the show Debt Neglector, both at First Magnitude. Clips are on his Instagram. Tom's imagined Fest night. Tom acts out how his Fest would go: holding court with listeners, getting drunk, ending up in a stranger's car headed to a hotel "party" that's just people on a bed playing Sublime, and plotting an escape. Dan says nothing like that happened. Make War at Vivid. Tony Rage is subbing on lead guitar for Make War and played three sets. At one show he fretted the chords while a young fan strummed from the crowd, and the kid's video blew up. The hosts argue whether that counts as playing. They also debate whether Debary Joe and his partner Denise splitting up at festivals to see different bands is healthy or weird. BDM Charles weighs in on Dan not bringing Andrea. Beer prices. Craft beers in the main area were about $6, while pints of Coors Light at Vivid were about $15. Asleep sitting up. Dan sat down to watch Game 1 of the World Series and fell asleep fully dressed, from about 8:30 to 1 a.m. He missed the night's bands while Tony Rage was out until 3:30 having beers with Joey Cape. The hosts tease him about this habit at 50. The Dreaded Laramie. On day two at Bo Diddley Plaza, Dan saw the Nashville band, which the show has played before. The singer-guitarist played bits of Rush's "YYZ" between songs, ate grass in the crowd and ate a raw egg thrown at her. They closed with the full song. Dan describes the guitar players in the crowd watching her with envy. Gully Boys. The all-female band briefly lost the crowd with a comment aimed at Shane Gillis. They then played a very heavy cover of No Doubt's "Hella Good." They're on the Tom & Dan Spotify playlist. Chilled Monkey Brains. This is the ska side project of past show guests the Longest Hole. Dan calls them the most high-energy band he's seen, with three trombones and a trombonist going wild in the crowd. Ross passes along their hello. The Impossibles. The Austin band wore matching hockey jerseys and were good, but Dan says ska without horns fell flat right after Chilled Monkey Brains. There's a pun about the band name. Pup. This was the biggest crowd of the night. Dan only crossed paths with Samantha and her husband Travis briefly, since they hop venues after two songs while he stays for full sets. Tom notes Sam always seems to find the good after-parties. Against All Authority. The Florida ska band had horns and more energy. Dan says he looks like their bassist and singer plus 50 pounds. The hosts look up the plaza's name: it was renamed in 2009 for Bo Diddley, who lived in nearby Archer. Bouncing Souls and a rowdy listener. A listener known by an off-color nickname (EMWP) got sloppy. Dan and Debary Joe kept an eye on him to keep his jokes from going over badly, and Dan says on air that he loves the guy. Lagwagon finally checked off. The band sounded great and played songs from across their catalog, including "Violence" and songs from Let's Talk About Feelings. Merch was nearly sold out, so Dan settled for an odd-sized shirt. That leads to the hosts criticizing punk bands for not monetizing, and saying they deserve good incomes and health insurance. Gainesville eats. Dan gives Loosey's five out of five for its Nashville chicken sandwich and fries. He had Long Drink zero-sugar drinks, and the listener bought everyone a Five Star Pizza, which Dan rates "two stars." He walked back to the inn afterward. Google account lockout. Dan left Sunday instead of staying because the show was locked out of its Google account. He was texting Jorge from the venue during Gully Boys, got scolded by Debary Joe for working, and apologizes. Tom says nobody minded. Fest verdict. Dan would go again "in a heartbeat" and urges first-timers to go, even solo. He describes a helpful, drama-free community. He wants to go next year with BDMs and stay at the Sweetwater Branch Inn again. Jacuzzi guy "Benny." At breakfast, a dripping-wet guest recommended the inn's "invigorating" jacuzzi jets, which became a running joke for Dan and Tony Rage. The hosts debate how jets actually work. Larry Fulford comedy. Larry was staying at the same inn and performed in the all-day punk rock comedy marathon. When his set ended, the whole audience left. The hosts trade takes on Gainesville and its homeless being "less aggressive than Orlando." UCF homecoming vs. BYU. A host watched the game with family in from out of town while campus homecoming was going on. A guest from Utah cheered for BYU in a room of UCF fans, which sparks a talk about rooting for the other team at someone's house versus in a bar. They recall a past watch party where a South Carolina fan celebrated in a room of Gators fans. Wild finish. UCF's game-winning field goal was blocked and bounced back to the kicker, who ran with it and was face-masked. Confusion followed. The hosts say football has too many rules and joke about a "college football rules hotline." Homecoming scheduling. The hosts debate whether schools still pick cream-puff homecoming opponents. Erica in the chat notes it was a conference game, and a lookup says the conference sets the schedule and UCF only chooses which home date is homecoming. They speculate UCF is building strength of schedule, and note the short week before Baylor. Field rush and police. Students stormed the field. The hosts wonder why police guarding coaches seem so relaxed in a crowd that big. Tom accidentally knocks out a studio light mid-segment. Chant controversy. The hosts read reports of UCF students' anti-Mormon chants, including one while an injured BYU player was down, and call it wrong. They compare it to Orlando City supporter groups being banned for chants during injuries, and to fan violence in Europe, Russia and South America. Handoff. The show wraps and switches over to the OG show. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned Past weekend: Fest 24 in Gainesville, plus UCF's homecoming game vs. BYU at the Bounce House. Past weekend: Game 1 of the World Series. Ongoing: Clips of Dan's Fest bands on his Instagram. Ongoing: The Tom & Dan playlist on Spotify, which includes many of the Fest bands. This week: UCF plays Baylor on a short week. Friday: Samantha in studio to talk about Fest. Next year: Fest's 25th anniversary. Dan plans to return and invites BDMs to join. Notable Guests/Callers Ross McCoy: In-studio guest. Robert (chat): Asked whether Dan stopped to charge on the drive. Erica (chat): Noted that UCF vs. BYU was a conference game. Mentioned only: Debary Joe (Josh), Denise, Tony Rage, Samantha and Travis, Larry Fulford, Mellow Mike Sands, BDM Charles, Jorge, Tracy.

  • October 26 · 2 hr 38 min

    OG 705 - Clotoberfest

    BDM Show (OG Replay) - Episode Notes Episode: "Clotoberfest" (OG 705, replaying show 681, "Zoom Is Trash," from July 29, 2022) Hosts: Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, Samantha (2022 show) | Guest: Andrea (in studio, 2022 show) Sponsors / Ad Reads Moe DeWitt (Just Call Moe): Injury lawyer read from the 2022 show. If you're hurt in a car or motorcycle accident, call Moe and say you're a BDM or Tom & Dan listener for the VIP experience. The hosts warn against taking a quick insurance settlement you can't undo. T&D merch (in-house): Featured merch was the T&D racing hat for $20 ($10 off), with only a few left. Eric was selling merch at Cafe da Vinci. Air T&D rental (in-house): Booking at $125 a night. Many weekends in July were booked, some weekends in August through October were still open, and weekdays were mostly open. Segment Rundown Wrapper: Zoom isn't trash anymore. The hosts introduce the 2022 replay and say Zoom mostly depends on your internet connection. They're annoyed that it asks permission to use your camera and mic every time. Alexa and Siri vs. Claude. Both hosts have given up on Alexa and Siri. A host describes watching Claude edit the show's website on its own, and compares the old assistants to taking a train cross-country after planes were invented. Fear of flying and cruises. The hosts discuss people who won't fly or won't cruise. They debate a quick plane crash vs. a slow sinking like the Costa Concordia, settle on "Lido deck for life," and joke about the A-Team drugging Mr. T's milk to get him on planes. They praise spouses who agree to 17-hour drives for a partner who won't fly, then go off on a crude tangent about what would make it worth it. Bets that never last. The hosts agree nobody keeps up a daily promise for more than a month. They riff on an absurd daily-bet scenario. Tom's four-wheelers. Tom pulled out his four-wheelers ahead of Thanksgiving. One has dead batteries, and the one he bought from BDM Josh needs its carburetor cleaned. A host has the same carb problem with a Honda scooter. The others call out Tom for mentioning repairs on air hoping a listener will offer to help, and recall the BDMs who have worked on his house over the years. Dan's back was his hips. Reading the 2022 rundown leads Dan to explain that the epidural and cortisone shots did little because his real problem was his hips, which had never been imaged. He does have bad L4 and L5 discs, but they're minor now that his hips are fixed. Twilight vs. general anesthesia. Dan explains the difference using his wisdom teeth surgery under twilight. The hosts compare that to blacking out and to colonoscopy sedation. Colonoscopy debate. Tom wants a noninvasive option. A live lookup of "virtual colonoscopy" shows it needs the same prep plus inflating the colon with air, and a traditional colonoscopy is still needed if polyps are found. Andrea weighs in from the chat urging Tom to get the real thing. They also mention Cologuard, insurance costs and deductibles. Shart Week history. The 2022 show was the last one before Shart Week. The hosts say they stopped doing it about two years ago and did Vomit Fest instead. They pitch other theme weeks, and a host tells a story about a nosebleed at his buddy Dan Thompson's house during an NFL game that ended with a huge clot. OG show opens remotely. Dan runs the board alone in studio with Andrea on the guest couch, while Tom (home with COVID) and Sam join on Zoom. Dan admits he's frazzled running everything himself. Tom's garage on camera. On the previous day's ACT, Tom showed his garage, and his low-res internet blurred the mess. The workbench napkins were a highlight. Tom then shame-cleaned the garage, sweated out the rest of his COVID, and loaded donations into Crystal's car. Trash, tipping and the mail. Tom still hasn't tipped his garbage men, and the hosts suggest $50. His trash bill went up $60 a year, which leads to a joke that only hoarders track trash prices. A host praises the post office for delivering a client's check across the country for under a dollar. Cafe da Vinci tonight. Little Stranger and True Phonic (a BDM band) are playing. Sam plans to arrive around 8:30, and Dan Stone is coming out on his motorcycle. Dan also previews prototypes of the fitted Dome hat. Tom's COVID and the old man. An older neighbor walking a tiny dog stopped to compliment Tom's sod while Tom had COVID. Tom told him, but the man kept walking closer, so Tom spent the conversation breathing into his shirt and looking at the sky. They also realize they forgot to tell Brendan O'Connor about the exposure, and note that the neighborhood characters Tom talks about are real people. Donation drop-off scrutiny. Tom's donation center now watches people unload and turns away junk, which Dan has never experienced. A host suggests a burn barrel, praising the black smoke from a burning Orlando Rage helmet. They also discuss backyard fire pits and whether a balcony fire pit would be acceptable. BDM swap shop. A chat-room idea for a junk swap comes back. The hosts agree people overvalue their junk, citing Tom's college buddy who asked for help taking a bar set to the dump and then charged $40 once Tom wanted it. They also recall someone who flipped a listener-donated bike for $300. Marketplace vs. Craigslist. Tom weighs selling his sons' tow-behind bikes. The hosts complain about "is this still available?" messages and compare Facebook Marketplace (you can see the seller's profile) with Craigslist. Dan explains why he hated buying from stores that sold through eBay. Will Smith apology video. Sherry sent in the video. The hosts call it staged: background chatter, posed body language, curated art and books, and a fake fan question. Krystine in the chat argues people demanded apologies on Chris Rock's behalf, and the hosts agree Rock will profit from it. They compare the case to Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise and Dog the Bounty Hunter, and conclude audiences forgive people who seem real more than people who seem fake. Dan's epidural. Dan says stepping back from alcohol and his current medication made him much less anxious going in. The machine looked like a giant claw machine. The no-nonsense nurse knocked over a trash can, asked why everyone is so dehydrated, put in a hand IV, and yanked his sweatpants to his ankles. He woke up in a wheelchair holding his credit card. Afterward his legs gave out on the steps of a Korean fried chicken spot on Mills. His back feels straighter, but now he notices his hips, and he's doing nightly stretches and back on the Peloton. Tony Robbins and longevity. The hosts discuss Robbins claiming a younger biological age from stem cells and cold therapy, plus Rob Dyrdek and their trainer Michael's research. Robbins's size leads to Big Fish jokes and a beach-party idea of a seven-foot-tall person in a camel mask, based on Krystine's camel painting in the studio. Tom recalls nearly renting a real beer-drinking ex-Shriners camel for an anniversary party until Crystal vetoed it. They wrap with a tangent on which big animals have big teeth. Kyler Murray's homework clause. Murray's contract required film study, the sports world mocked him, and the Cardinals later removed the clause. The hosts debate how his agents and lawyers missed it, contrasting their copy-paste Real Radio contracts. EJ in the chat says every interception will now get blamed on not studying. They also cite Freddie Freeman's agent mishandling his Braves exit. Sam briefly drops off Zoom. Angie Everhart egging. The former model is accused of egging a neighbor's door, and her rep blames the neighbor's barking dogs. Dan met her on the reality show "The Real Gilligan's Island" while working with Carlos (formerly Black Bean). The hosts debate freckles, whether egging still happens, and a Tesla owner who found poop hidden in his door handles. Tom recalls a listener toilet-papering his Deltona house in the radio days, and they talk about Deltona home prices and his old house selling for $38K in 2010. Music and Remy. The show plays Private Island's "Daisies" and Sincere Engineer, and Sam happens to be wearing a Sincere Engineer shirt. Dan is giving Remy the old mixing console as part of not hoarding. Invites for the September BDM beach party are delayed by COVID. Doing things alone. Cactus Steve's solo trip to the springs makes Tom admit he can't enjoy anything alone except watching sports he's bet on. Andrea goes to Disney solo, Dan takes solo drives in the Tesla and used to sit in a Winter Park park, and Sam enjoys quiet time and guided meditation. The chat roasts Tom, and Krystine asks whether he worries what people think. Tom says his fun comes from hosting others, like taking new people out on the boat, which reminds him of his dad. Chick-fil-A volunteers. A Hendersonville, NC franchise offered five free entrees per hour of volunteer work until corporate ended it. That leads to Florida letting veterans teach to cover the teacher shortage, a story about a mocked substitute named Mr. Tunis, online college value, and degrees vs. experience. Dan calls himself a "reliable fart welder." Pastor jewelry robbery. Gunmen robbed a Brooklyn pastor of $400K in jewelry mid-sermon, and Wander Franco had $650K in jewelry stolen from his Rolls-Royce. The hosts debate insurance, whether the pastor's money came from his mortgage and real estate businesses or church donations, church financial transparency, and nonprofit status. Scientology and L. Ron Hubbard. The hosts discuss David Miscavige laying low, the Danny Masterson case, and Leah Remini. They're baffled that Hubbard never fixed his teeth, and a chat tip checks out: Guinness lists him with the most published works by one author (1,084). They close by asking why Tom Cruise gets more of a pass than Will Smith. Wrap. Plugs for Semantics, Cafe da Vinci, merch, Air T&D and Monday's ninth annual Shart Week. Listeners are told to send submissions by Saturday, and the hosts agree to keep submitters anonymous. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned Friday, July 29, 2022 (7 p.m.): Eric selling merch at Cafe da Vinci. Friday, July 29, 2022 (night): Little Stranger and True Phonic at Cafe da Vinci. Sam arriving around 8:30. Saturday, July 30, 2022: Semantics recording its after-party show at Rock Bit Brewing. Semantics shirts and glasses at semanticspodcast.com. Shart Week submissions due. Monday, August 1, 2022: Ninth annual Shart Week BDM show. August to October 2022: Open Air T&D weekends ($125 a night). September 2022: BDM beach party (invites coming soon; sign up at tomanddan.com). Later in 2022: Fitted Dome hat (prototypes in progress). Ongoing (2022): T&D racing hat, $20 while supplies last. Ongoing: Moe DeWitt, Just Call Moe. Upcoming (wrapper): Thanksgiving, when Tom hopes to have the four-wheelers running. Notable Guests/Callers Andrea: In studio on the guest couch for the 2022 show. Weighs in from the chat during the wrapper. Samantha (Sam): Co-host, joining by Zoom from home in 2022. Krystine (chat): Points on apology culture and on Tom doing things alone. Her camel painting hangs in the studio. EJ (chat): Says Kyler Murray will be blamed for every interception. Tracy (chat): Says she, like Tom, hates being alone. Sherry: Sent in the Will Smith video. Mentioned only: Crystal, BDM Josh, Dan Thompson, Brendan O'Connor, Dan Stone, Eric, Remy, Cactus Steve, trainer Michael, Carlos (formerly Black Bean), David Jolly, Mr. Tunis, Canadian Josh, Joey Mazzant.

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