Baroque B*tches - An Art History Gossip Podcast

Robert Mapplethorpe: The Quest for the Perfect Penis!

I mean... if you're not pissing off somebody are you even doing it right? In a world where "don't yuck somebody's yum" is now a direct order, we have to remember to pay homage to those who pioneered acceptance of sexual liberation! Come join us as we talk about some of the first photographed DICK PICS to enter that high art world and how Robert Mapplethorpe gets them there! Xoxo, The BB's

Mike Kelley: California Dreamin'

What do stuffed animals, Superman and conference rooms all have in common? They've all made it into the heart and art of the star of this episodes show! Yes, there were not a lot of stones unturned by this disruptive artist, and though we do think we get it... we do not always agree. Come find out what you think! There will be seethrough dresses, there will be discomfort, and there will be fun! Xoxo, The BB's

Camille Claudel: It's Complicated!

Oof, boy this has been a rough week amirite? Between natural disasters and general malaise, it's been hard to gain the motivation to just keep on keepin' on. But then I think about our girl Cami and realize... it is not so bad.... the rumors are rough and tough in this one. We hope for her sake some are not true.... Come join along for the art, stay for the tea! We love you!

Eugene Delacroix: March On!

LET’s GOOOO!!! It’s a tale as old as time - rich guy rules people, rich guy exploits people, people get pissed, people kill rich guy…. It’s happened before, it’s happening now AND WE’RE TALKING ABOUT IT! 👁️

Hilma Af Klint: Time Traveler

OMG omg OMG omg Happy Holidaysssss Baroque BB's! We are so freaking proud of all of you! Thank you for joining us this year and supporting us through lots of ups and downs. We have had such a lovely journey and figured, what better way to end this year than with a SHE-bang?!?! Yes, we all knew that Kandinsky seemed a little TOO cocky about founding abstract expressionism, and we are going to dive into all the hot tea surrounding this hot alien-esque baddy. There will be SEANCES there will be RELIGIOUS FUSION there will be laughs and there will be uncoordinated silly conversations. Who's comin with us?! Weeeee loveeeee youuuuuuu Xoxoxox The Baroque B's

Nero: I'm the BAAADDDDDDD BOYYYYYY!

Ooooo boy oh boy do the Romans give BAADDDD a whole new definition! And if you are into Roman history or fucked up family bushes, then this episode is for you! It's got so much drama it could be the backbone of a plot for a Law and Order SVU episode... so buckle up baby because Dick Wolf has nothing on Niro! DUN DUN!!!!

Grace Hartigan and Helen Frankenthaler Part 2: Taking Over the Inner Circle

Omg omg omg week 2 of all the abstract expressionism drama!!! Come join us for this weeks episode on two bodacious babes of 20th century art!!! There will be retelling of poor times in the past, there will be cackling, there will be drama, and there will be shit talking on art historians GOD DAMNIT! Alright!!! WE LOVE YOU SM! the Baroque B’s

HAPPY FRIENDSGIVING Grace Hartigan and Helen Frankenthaler: Breaking the Inner Circle Part 1

Francis Bacon and Lucian Freud: Twin Flames or an Inferno?

OOOoooffff what a week! We're just over here like all of you trying to figure out how to keep the peace at that Thanksgiving table, and I know a sure-fire way for me has always been to have a good old fashioned FRIENDSGIVING! So if that election has you down, just know you are not alone. We are here with you and to deliver some NASTY ass tea to get your mind off of your worries. Come join us as we dive into all the GROSS, HaWt, SeXy TEA on these two passionate famous amazing painters. There will be laughs, there will be gambling addictions, there will be pots and black kettles and the like. We love you! Xoxo, The Baroque B's

BONUS EPISODE! Dracula v Frankenstein!

HAPPY BAROQUE B-VERSARY! What better way to celebrate with than a DOUBLE SPOOK-FEATURE?!?! Yes,

SPOOKFEST!!! Juan Luna de San Pedro y Novicio; It's COMPLICATED!

Are you ready to get SPOOKY?! Come join us this week for another episode of art filled TEA with this world famous Filipino artist! YASSS we’re going there! We’ll get into the drama, the art, the toxic energy and most importantly for this month… THE HAUNTED ASS PAINTING!!!! There will be celebrations of lumpia, there will be overshares of personal traumas, there will be affairs, murder, and more! You don’t want to miss it!!! We love you! Xoxo THE baroque bitches!!!

SPOOKFEST! Pieter Bruegel the Elder: HELL is Other People!

HAPPY SPOOKFEST!!!! YAYYY!!!! What better way to bring in the fall vibes than with the MOST AUTUMNAL PAINTER EVER?!?! Seriously, it's like halloween is his aesthetic and the harsh reality that life is a walking horror is the SPOOKIEST THING OF ALL! There will be proverbs, there will be a mysterious death, and there will be BURNT SIENNA! Just like... hella burnt Sienna. Come join in on the fun! We love you! Xoxo, The Baroque B's

SPOOKFEST! Arshile Gorky: Keeping Fucking Moving!

Omg omg omg… oh… my… gah! We are so sorry this is a day late because mental health things. Thank you for sticking with us. WELCOME TO OUR FIRST SPOOKFEST EPISODE! We are kicking spooky season off the right way this year… with some really fucking HAUNTED ass paintings! Come join us as we go through the life of poor dear Gork-a-roni! There will be affairs, there will be fires, there will be tom foolery and there will be a lot of shit talking on Regionalism… again… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ As always, We love you! the Baroque B’s DISCLAIMER! this episode does contain violent content. Please be mindful of when and where/with whom you are listening. If these themes are triggering for you, please skip this one and take care of yourself. We love you sm!

Ai WeiWei: China's MOST WANTED!

Happy first week of Fall BB’s! We are so happy to welcome ya’ll back to another week of FaRt FiStOrY! We are so excited to bring you another week and this week focusing on a long time fav, the one the only AI WEIWEI! Come join us as we journey through the life of this ICONIC activist that you cannot help but be inspired by. I think my mind and eyeballs literally exploded when I was first introduced to his work. China can’t hold this guy down, and please please don’t because we are HERE FOR IT! DISCLAIMER: this weeks episode does have some stories of violence and trauma. Please listen with caution and be mindful of those who surround you. If these themes are triggering for you, please know we love you and it may be best to skip this one. As always, with love… the Baroque Bitches

Gian Lorenzo Bernini: MICHELANGELO WHO?!

OOooooo yes, there is nothing we love more than some unhinged weirdness, and it definitely gets WEIRD in this episode! Come join us as we dive into the life of Baroque Bad Boy and all around weirdo Gian aka Gianny Lorenzo Bernininininininini. There will be way too many PeN15s together in one sculpture, there will be extreme exhibitions of devotion to "THE CRAFT", there will be bedroom eyes and there will be love triangular DRAMA!!!! As usual, come for the art... stay for the tea! WE LOVE YOU omg omg omg WE LYSM! Xoxo, The Baroque B's

Damien Hirst: I'm STUCK!

Oooooo who's your favorite/least favorite POLAR-IZING BAD BOIIIIIII?!?! Yass the controversy does seem to follow our dear Damien around... almost like a bad play you can't help but watch. He has played the puppeteer for so long, but it's just not dead animals he's orchestrating. What are your thoughts? Do you think he's running the show? Or is it all just... that... lucky? Either way the DRAMA is deep in this one, and the lawsuits do flock too because THAT'S SHOW BIZ BABY! Come join us for the ride! We love you! Xoxo The Baroque B's

Gala Placidia: Bow Down BITCH!

Welcome back to another wonderful week of two cats hosting an art history podcast and enjoying every second of it! If you're in the mood to pretend you are at a slumber party with your best girly girlfriends playing truth or dare and talking crushes, but you also wanna learn a thing or two along the way, then this episode is for you! Come join as we get into this mysterious ancient Roman Empress and all the drama that filled her life. There will be rumors, there will be incest, and there will be WEINER TALK! Lots of weiners as per usssuallll. Okay we love you, we mean it! Xoxo, The Baroque B's

Hieronymus Bosch: What THE HELL?!

Welcome back to another glorious week of more HaWt JuIcY aRt HiStOry! We probably get the lowest our dirty low brows can go this week with one of Chelsea's fav's of all time... HIERONYMUS BOSCH! There will be finagle-ing of the bagel-ing, there will be genitals in almost every place you never even thought to put them, there will be good berries, there will be weird fantastical bowel movements, there will be St. John looking like a sad ass Tarzan, and there will be lots and lots of laughter! SO COME ON AND JOIN US ALREADY! As always, with lots and lots of love... The Baroque B*tches

Gustav Klimt: Mr. Lover Lover

WE'RE BACKKKKKKkkkkKKKKkkkk!!! Omg omg omg! Thank you all so much for your patience. We have missed you all so much and are so grateful for all the love we received while we were on summer siesta! As promised we have returned and are here to deliver on the much anticipated and many-a-time requested (like within the last few week and how did you all know I was going to do Klimt GET OUT OF MY BRAIN, except don't because I love that we're intuned with one another <3) GUSTAV KLIMT! There will be cat daddy-ing, there will be human daddy-ing, there will be sugar daddy-ing, and there will be lots and lots of FEMALE WORSHIPPING! So come on already COME JOIN IN ON THE FUN! Because WE'RE BACK in FULL FORCE! Love you all so much! Xoxo The Baroque B's

Francoise Gilot: Lions Mate With LIONS!

Welcome to our episode on the fabulous, fantastic bada$$ B, Francois Gilot!! Not only has she art-matized us with her ICONIC work, but she also won the hearts of many in her life… except for maybe her father. OOF, what didn’t this woman endure from men? Well, we are gonna get into all and we’re so excited we get to have Taylor join us for the fun! There will be RED FLAGS, there will be THE WORD NO and there will be AN OBSESSION WITH MATISSE (mostly by me after this episode). As always, with love… the Baroque B’s DISCLAIMER: this episode does contain stories of domestic violence and abuse. Please be mindful where and with whom you listen, skip this one if these themes are at all triggering for you, and know that we love you.