Bare Marriage

Episode 337: Why Do Evangelicals Ask Women to Do Such Risky Things if They Say They Protect Women?

Send us Fan Mail What happens when “protecting women” actually leaves them with fewer choices, less financial security, and nowhere to go when a marriage becomes unsafe? Today we unpack the hidden risks behind certain conservative Christian teachings about gender, money, work, and submission before sitting down with Sally Hope to talk about abuse, faith, anger, healing, and her survivor resource "No Visible Scars." It’s a thoughtful - and occasionally fiery - conversation about what genuine protection looks like when the goal is not female dependence, but healthy partnership, autonomy, justice, and healing. CHECK OUT OUR OCTOBER SIMULCAST EVENT We're doing our sex talk and a one-day marriage conference! Check it out for more information. Find the church info page here! GET NO VISIBLE SCARS here TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: CortneyGetsFit TikTok Dynamics of Abusive Relationships Study Sally Hope’s Website Sally’s book “No Visible Scars” Sally’s Always Hopeful program Download the One-Sheet on The Empowered Wife Bare Marriage ToolKit Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters

Episode 336: The Problems with The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle

Send us Fan Mail Bethany Jantzi and Dr. Merry Lin join us in taking a very close—and occasionally incredulous—look at Laura Doyle’s The Empowered Wife, unpacking its promises, “six intimacy skills,” and insistence that women can transform their marriages by changing themselves. They explore where self-care, respect, vulnerability, and intimacy can sound appealing while still becoming dangerous when they encourage women to self-silence, ignore serious problems, or take responsibility for a husband’s behavior. Ultimately, this is a conversation about discernment: what does genuine marital intimacy actually require, and how can we tell the difference between healthy accommodation and simply learning to disappear inside a relationship? It’s a longer one, but 100% worth the listen! CHECK OUT OUR OCTOBER SIMULCAST EVENT We're doing our sex talk and a one-day marriage conference! Check it out for more information. Find the church info page here! TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: One-Sheet on Laura Doyle’s “The Empowered Wife”: https://baremarriage.com/2026/08/the-problems-with-the-empowered-wife-by-laura-doyle-a-review-with-download/ Bethany Jantzi’s Website: freefromcontrol.ca Dr. Merry Lin’s Website: https://www.drmerry.com/ Pre-Order Sheila & Dr. Merry’s new book “Fawn” Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters

Episode 335: If Men Are Leaders...Why Do They Need Women to Fix Them?

Send us Fan Mail What happens when “Christlike manhood” starts sounding suspiciously like Victorian gender roles, male entitlement, and a whole lot of covert nudging? This rage-read of Eric Ludy’s “Warrior Poet Manhood” article unpacks the deeper assumptions behind a theology that tells women to manage, encourage, and even manipulate men into becoming better husbands while men remain in charge. We explore gender stereotypes, power and emotional attunement, the “angel in the house,” and why the upside-down kingdom of Jesus offers a radically different picture of maturity, partnership, and servant leadership. CHECK OUT OUR OCTOBER SIMULCAST EVENT We're doing our sex talk and a one-day marriage conference! Check it out for more information. Find the church info page here! TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: Eric Ludy’s full article Zach Wagner’s book, “Men of Virtue” Emerson Eggerichs podcast episode Love & Respect 3-Part Docuseries Socioeconomic Status Study The Marriage You Want book & Study Guide Pre-Order Sheila’s new book “Fawn” Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters

Episode 334: What Should Accountability for Purity Culture Authors Look Like?

Send us Fan Mail Buckle up for the final episode of our 3-part series on purity culture! In this episode we dig into what genuine accountability actually looks like when influential Christian leaders (namely Dannah Gresh) recognize the harm their teachings have caused. Through a thoughtful discussion of repentance, public responsibility, and the lasting impact of purity culture, we continue to ask why admitting specific mistakes remains so difficult—and why doing so matters for healing and preventing future harm. Also, is Dannah’s rewrite of “And the Bride Wore White” really any better? Tune in to find out! CHECK OUT OUR OCTOBER SIMULCAST EVENT We're doing our sex talk and a one-day marriage conference! Check it out for more information. Find the church info page here! TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: Bare Marriage Episode 290 on Authoritarianism The free book The Authoritarians (Includes the quizzes you can take to see where you score!) Bare Marriage Facebook Page She Deserves Better The Whole Story resource for parents Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters

Episode 333: Good Fruit - Are We Measuring It Right When It Comes to Christian Marriage Teaching?

Send us Fan Mail What does Jesus actually mean when he tells us to judge a tree by its fruit - and what happens when we apply that idea to marriage and Christian teaching? Today Joanna, our resident statistician, joins us as we dig into the biblical meaning of “good fruit,” unpack the research behind our marriage studies, and explore what trust, spiritual fruit, and decision-making have to do with one another. We also welcome Dr. Camden Morgante and discuss her amazing book “Recovering From Purity Culture”. Settle in for Part 2 of our 3-part series to kick off this new season - you don’t want to miss this one! CHECK OUT OUR OCTOBER SIMULCAST EVENT We're doing our sex talk and a one-day marriage conference! Check it out for more information. TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: About Josh Butler’s book “Beautiful Union” Our podcasts referencing Josh Butler: Episode 260 Episode 301 M.J. Langham Thread link Dr. Camden Morgante’s book, “Recovering From Purity Culture” Dr. Camden’s Substack Harmful Outcomes of Purity Culture Facebook Quotes Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters

Episode 332: When Purity Culture Supporters Try to Rewrite History (Dannah Gresh Case Study)

Send us Fan Mail And….we’re BACK with a fresh new season of the Bare Marriage podcast! We’re kicking things off with a lively deep dive into the debate over purity culture, asking what happens when influential Christian voices revise their past teachings, redefine the terms, and rewrite the history of what they once taught. We unpack the difference between biblical chastity and shame-based purity culture, take on straw man arguments and shifting definitions, and explore how messages about sex, marriage, authority, and obligation can shape the church in ways we may not always recognize. Real change requires more than just saying something was harmful - it requires honesty, accountability, and a willingness to pursue better fruit. This is Part 1 of a 3-part series, so let’s get to it and be sure to tune in next week! CHECK OUT OUR OCTOBER SIMULCAST EVENT We're doing our sex talk and a one-day marriage conference! Check it out for more information. TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: Friday Round-Up link on Alisa Childers Our statement on Shaunti Feldhahn (with links to her statement) Roys Report article on Sheila calling out Focus on the Family The Whole Story Course Our book, “She Deserves Better” Dannah’s interview with Juli Slattery Dannah’s interview with Focus on the Family Zachary Wagner’s book, “Men of Virtue” Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters

Episode 331: Keith & Sheila Respond to Crazy Clips (Is it That Jezebel Spirit Again?)

Send us Fan Mail In this season finale we take a dive into social media, examining the messages behind viral clips from popular marriage and church influencers, and challenge fear-based teachings about marriage, parenting, gender, and authority. Through our thoughtful (and often hilarious) analyses and lively discussion, we hope this conversation encourages you to pursue healthier, Christ-centered relationships rooted in mutual respect, truth, and genuine spiritual freedom. CHECK OUT OUR OCTOBER SIMULCAST EVENT We're doing our sex talk and a one-day marriage conference! Check it out for more information. TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: Zachary Wagner’s Book “Men of Virtue” Podcast Episode 262: Problems with Marriage on the Rock by Jimmy Evans Episode 262 Blog Post Sheila’s Substack Alex Falcone's reel about divorce stats (he's the good one!) Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters

Episode 330: Men of Virtue with Zachary Wagner

Send us Fan Mail What does it actually mean to be a “good man” in today’s world—and does Christianity offer something deeper than dominance, leadership clichés, or internet manosphere culture? In this thoughtful and surprisingly hopeful conversation, Zachary Wagner joins us to unpack masculinity through the lens of the fruits of the Spirit, exploring everything from loneliness and power to marriage, self-control, parenting boys, and the modern crisis of meaning for men. Together, we challenge shallow cultural narratives and argue that true strength looks a lot more like love, service, courage, and emotional maturity than performance or control. Listen in as we propose a healthier vision of manhood for both men and the people who love them. TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: Zachary Wagner’s Website Zachary’s Book: “Men of Virtue” Our conversation with Zachary about his book Non-Toxic Masculinity Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters

Episode 329: Parenting With Confidence Without Messing Up Your Kids with Wendy Snyder

Send us Fan Mail What happens when you know the old “because I said so” parenting style isn’t healthy…but you also don’t want to raise entitled little tyrants? In this episode, parenting coach Wendy Snyder joins us for a deeply practical, heartfelt, (and hilariously honest) conversation about strong-willed kids, emotional regulation, yelling, boundaries, anxiety, and what healthy authority actually looks like in family life. Together, we unpack the difference between authoritarian, permissive, and powerful parenting—and why so many parents swing wildly between all three. From power struggles and picky eaters to shame spirals and unmet emotional needs, this episode is packed with compassionate, evidence-based wisdom that will leave you feeling both challenged and hopeful. If you’ve ever wondered how to parent with confidence without fear, guilt, or constant battles, this conversation is for you. CHECK OUT OUR OCTOBER SIMULCAST EVENT We're doing our sex talk and a one-day marriage conference! Check it out for more information. TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: Wendy Snyder’s Book “Fresh Start Your Family” Pre-Order Link & Bonuses Wendy’s Website Wendy’s Instagram Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters

Episode 328: The Billy Graham Rule and What It Does to Men Too

Send us Fan Mail What if the “Billy Graham rule” (or the evangelical distortion of it) says more about fear than integrity? In this episode, Danielle Strickland helps us unpack the assumptions behind the idea that men and women can’t be alone together—and ask whether it protects integrity or quietly reinforces suspicion, segregation, and control. Drawing on Scripture, leadership research, and real-world church experiences, our conversation explores how transparency—not isolation—is a stronger safeguard against abuse and moral failure. We also dig into how purity culture, pornography narratives, and fear-based systems shape the way we interpret opposite-sex friendships, mentoring, and authority. If you’re ready to rethink gender, leadership, and trust through a more Jesus-centered lens, this one will give you plenty to chew on. TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: Danielle’s Book, “Better Together” Danielle’s Website Danielle’s Substack “The Billy Graham Rule” aka The Modesto Manifesto Podcast Episode 192: How Every Young Man's Battle Makes Everything Worse: "Recovering From Purity Culture" by Dr. Camden Morgante The Whole Story courses Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters

Episode 327: For Men Only by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn Talks Lust and Sex

Send us Fan Mail Welcome to Part 2 of our breakdown of For Men Only! This episode dives headfirst into the sex chapter — and quickly exposes how shaky stats and selective storytelling create misleading narratives about libido and desire. We examine why women’s sexual desire is far more contextual — and relational — than the book admits. We unpack the myth of “on-demand” desire, challenge rigid sex rules like the 72-hour expectation, and explore why libido is far more dynamic — and human — than most advice admits. We also critique popular marriage frameworks that outsource self-worth to partners and rely on oversimplified gender stereotypes rather than evidence-based relational health. Get ready for a candid, research-informed takedown of bad advice — with a clear message: real intimacy thrives on emotional maturity, not scripts. TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: Our article demolishing Shaunti Feldhahn's "research" on love & respect One Sheet on For Women Only Podcast on For Women Only Podcast on mental load Our book The Marriage You Want Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters

Episode 326: The Problems with For Men Only by Jeff & Shaunti Feldhahn

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, we dive into For Men Only, by Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn, and let’s just say…we have many thoughts! We unpack some of its core claims about gender dynamics, communication, and emotional needs. Rebecca shares how this book impacted her first few months of marriage to Connor, and not in a good way! We address major concerns with the book’s research methods, its reliance on broad gender stereotypes, and its tendency to frame women as overly emotional and men as disengaged. While it contains one of the best descriptors we’ve seen on mental load, the Feldhahns have yet to propose workable solutions that include mutual accountability and behavioral change. Sheila and Rebecca advocate for a more nuanced, evidence-informed understanding of relationships—one that prioritizes emotional maturity, shared responsibility, and meaningful communication over simplified gender narratives. This one is worth a listen and keep an eye out for Part 2 next week! TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: Our article demolishing Shaunti Feldhahn's "research" on love & respect One Sheet on For Women Only Podcast on For Women Only Podcast on mental load Our book The Marriage You Want Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters

Episode 325: I Belong to Me with Tia Levings

Send us Fan Mail Tia Levings is back, and this time she's brought the book so many of you have been waiting for — I Belong to Me, a survivor's guide to recovery and hope after religious trauma, and the follow-up to her memoir A Well-Trained Wife. After thousands of women slid into her DMs asking how did you heal, how do I find myself again, Tia sat down and wrote the guide she wished she'd had. In this conversation, we get into what religious trauma actually is and why therapists are only now starting to name it, how spiritual bypassing uses faith language to invalidate your pain, and why the period right after you leave a high-control church or marriage is actually when you're most vulnerable — not most free. We also talk about why your voice and your sexuality are twin wounds that heal together, how to start building boundaries when you've never been allowed to have any, and why real recovery eventually means sitting with your own complicity — not to shame yourself, but to finally choose something different. If you've ever wondered was what I went through actually trauma, and can I actually heal from it — this episode is for you. TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: I Belong to Me by Tia Levings — Release Date: May 5th — Pre-Order Now! Listen to Tia's first episode with us on her book The Well Trained Wife Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters

Episode 324: Who Bears the Emotional Labor and Mental Load for Sex?

Send us Fan Mail Who's carrying the mental and emotional load when it comes to sex? Today Keith and I are breaking down all the ways evangelical marriage culture places that burden almost entirely on women: from appearance standards and contraception to performing passion on demand and suppressing her own emotions so his experience stays comfortable. We are listening to sermon clips and reading quotes from bestselling Christian marriage books that are pretty hard to hear, but really important to call out for the harm they cause to women (and marriage). We are also talking about what we all actually want — a sex life rooted in real intimacy, where both people get to show up with everything they are. TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: The Orgasm Course and The Husband’s Edition Starter Pack Podcasts on Making Sex Feel Great Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters

Episode 323: A Step-By-Step Guide to Vetting a Church's Website to See if They're Heathy!

Send us Fan Mail Finding a healthy church after being hurt is hard — especially when toxic churches have learned to hide what they really believe. This week, Rebecca and I walk you through our evidence-based, step-by-step method for evaluating a church's website before you ever step through the door. From homepage vibes to staff pages, statement of beliefs to membership covenants, we'll show you exactly what to look for — and what to run from. We're also sharing real examples from actual church websites, some of them from well-known names you'll recognize, so you can train your eye to spot the difference between a church that genuinely welcomes you and one that just wants to slot you into a hierarchy. And we're connecting it all to our brand-new peer-reviewed study on internalized modesty messaging — because finding a healthy church isn't just nice to have. For girls especially, it can make all the difference. GET OUR TEMPLATE to Vet Your Church's Website TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: Our article about risk of sexual harassment in the Scientific Study of Religion Journal Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Chapters

Episode 322: Why Is Every Man's Battle So Creepy? A Harrowing Example

Send us Fan Mail A close look at how Every Man’s Battle ignores the impact of predation on women and girls–and is just plain creepy! Plus a new study on hostile/benevolent sexism when it comes to tradwife content. It’s our podcast and Friday RoundUp in one! Our podcast we wanted to air this week just wasn’t ready in time–so we decided to record our Friday RoundUp a day early, and run it as this week’s podcast. So if you’re used to listening to our podcast, remember that on YouTube every week we also have a 20 minute unfiltered, unscripted Friday Roundup! TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: Our post on the two Every Man’s Battle excerpts The Facebook post people were commenting on The article on the new tradwife study Our download on the problems with Every Man’s Battle Our download on the problems with Every Young Man’s Battle Subscribe to our YouTube channel so you don't miss all the regular Friday roundups! Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 321: New Research into Modesty Messaging, Sexual Harassment in Church, Plus We Answer Your Questions!

Send us Fan Mail Keith and Rebecca are taking over the podcast this week and are answering your questions — from how to find a healthy church community to whether complementarianism is a dealbreaker. They're refreshingly honest and a little funny about it. Then Joanna joins to dig into a brand-new peer-reviewed paper on how internalized modesty messaging affects girls' self-esteem and their risk of being sexually harassed in church as minors. What they found is both unsurprising and deeply sobering: environments that emphasize modesty messaging don't just harm girls, they actually groom boys into predatory behavior. It's research that needs to get out of their little corner of the internet and into the broader conversation, and your support made it possible. TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: Love & Respect Docuseries Book suggestions from Rebecca: Mistborn Series by Brandon Sanderson Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir Shattered Sea Trilogy - Joe Abercrombie Farseer Trilogy - Robin Hobb (Join The Patreon for our great book club for more!) Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters

Episode 320: Let’s Talk Adult ADHD and GENDER ROLES!

Send us Fan Mail What does it mean to have realistic expectations of a spouse with ADHD? How does gender play into how ADHD impacts a relationship? And what do accommodations actually look like—versus what do they not look like in a healthy marriage? This week Rebecca talks about her own diagnosis of ADHD with her father Keith (a pediatrician) and good friend Daniel Forsythe (a licensed psychotherapist who works with neurodiverse marriages frequently) to dig down to discuss what the evidence actually says is possible, the risk of “caregiver burnout”, and more as Rebecca picks the brains of the actual professionals so we can all land in an evidence-based place! THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR: To Heal or Harm: Scripture's Use as Poison or Medicine for Abuse Survivors by Dr. Steven Tracy. How to refute it when Bible verses are weaponized! TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: Study regarding impact of ADHD on women versus men in adulthood Write-up on how we falsely believe that ADHD is easier on women Study on how a messy home impacts women versus men’s social standing and who we intrinsically believe is “responsible” for cleaning The Marriage You Want book Is It You, Me, or Adult ADHD? A more therapeutic book about counselling practices for marriages working with ADHD: Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters

Episode 319: Did Purity Culture Cause Developmental Trauma--and Kill Libido?

Send us Fan Mail What if the reason so many women struggle with desire, arousal, and orgasm has nothing to do with their bodies—and everything to do with what they were taught before they even wanted to be sexual? In this episode, Rebecca and I pull together research and real-life stories to trace a thread that runs from how we raise our daughters, to what happens on the wedding night, to why so many women are secretly faking it. THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR: To Heal or Harm: Scripture's Use as Poison or Medicine for Abuse Survivors by Dr. Steven Tracy. How to refute it when Bible verses are weaponized! TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!) And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: Our Orgasm Course and Boost Your Libido Course Love and Respect Docu-Series Research Paper: "Sexual Passion in Adolescence: Examining Its Transmission Through Mothers" Research Paper: "Do Women Withhold Honest Sexual Communication When They Believe Their Partner's Manhood Is Threatened?" Instagram Thread by Ally Jolie (somatic psychologist, UK) Podcast episode on men projecting sexual attention-seeking onto girls Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters

Episode 318: You're Allowed to Want Stuff! Talking Desire with Jay Stringer

Send us Fan Mail Jay Stringer, licensed therapist and author of Unwanted, is back to talk about his brand new book Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow. Together, we unpack why so many of us — especially those from church backgrounds — were taught to fear and suppress our desires rather than develop them. We dig into enmeshment, the "provisional self," why differentiation is actually the secret to intimacy and a healthy sex life, and why low libido is never just a libido problem. If you've ever felt broken, empty, or like you don't even know what you want anymore, this conversation is for you. TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work And check out our Merch, or any of our courses! Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation Join our email list! LINKS MENTIONED: Get Jay Stringer's book Desire Get Jay's book Unwanted Follow Jay on Instagram Sheila's book The Marriage You Want, and the video curriculum that goes with it Support the show Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

• Transcript
• Chapters