Absolutely Not

Dear Media

"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.

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397 episodes
Updated Wednesday

Episodes397

Newest first

Wednesday · 1 hr 15 min
Gout Girl
On this episode, Heather is hitting summer hard, but paying for it. We learn what the Doctor has diagnosed her with, the feelings seeing a Noah Kahan concert brought up and how life as a homeowner is starting out. We get iconic voicemails that are Absolutely Not going to disappoint. Episode Sponsors: Visit hillhousehome.com and use code absolutely at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Give your skin the affordable, luxurious glow up it deserves. Go to Naturium.com/ABSOLUTELY for 10% off your first purchase today. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Visit resortpass.com/absolutely to get $20 off your first booking of $100 or more. Visit drinksilentflower.com/golf-widow and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 15% o your first order Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
July 22 · 1 hr 10 min
Forecast: Hot Takes!
On this episode, Heather is on a tear after some heated meetings as well as cancelled flights. While she had to miss the World Cup due to her own flight being canceled, she is here to teach everyone about flight etiquette. She chats about critics of The Odyssey, Lindsey Graham’s ladybugs, and how Jeff is turning off every light now that they are homeowners. Heather takes on the voicemails and reminds everyone that we got this. Episode Sponsors: Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Check out https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Head to myGoldenChild.com/Absolutely and save up to 20% when you subscribe. Visit resortpass.com/absolutely to get $20 off your first booking of $100 or more. Visit drinksilentflower.com/golf-widow and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 15% o your first order. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
July 20 · 1 hr 23 min
Throwback: No Snackin’ in the Back
On this replay episode from November 2, 2022 Heather is back from taping her first special, Son I Never Had, in Lexington, Kentucky. She is full of gratitude as well as adrenaline after filming. Son I Never Had is now available to stream on Hulu and to watch for free on Youtube! Episode Sponsors: Head to TryFirstleaf.com/absolutely to sign up and you'll get fifty percent off your first box PLUS free shipping for an entire year. Visit OliveandJune.com/ABSOLUTELY20 for 20% off your first System! Head to ZBiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY and use the code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 15% off. Join Thrive Market with my link ThriveMarket.com/absolutely for $20 off your first three orders plus a FREE gift. Get 40% off select Lola Blankets products at Lolablankets.com by using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Experience the world’s #1 blanket with Lola Blankets. Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to MINTMOBILE.com/ABSOLUTELY. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
July 15 · 1 hr 10 min
Pitbull & Miss Worldwide
On this episode, Heather is back from one of the most insane weekends of her life. Manifested so hard that she ended up in Hyde Park with Pitbull breaking a world record for most bald caps! She chats about how emotional it was to see the Bald-es as well as meeting Armando. She also details the rest of the weekend in London from Wimbledon to Kesha. Be sure to watch Youtube for an exclusive surprise Episode Sponsors: Download the Bilt app and join the membership for where you live, at joinbilt.com/absolutely. Head to Knix.com and you’ll see why I love Knix. Don’t forget to use code ABSOLUTELY for 15 percent off your order – get leakproof undies, amazing bras, and don’t forget to check out the new Mini Dream Boxer! Join the millions of customers who trust HomeServe. For 50% less your first year, go to HomeServe.com/absolutely. Visit hillhousehome.com and use code absolutely at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Visit DRINKAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY to get a free AG1 Travel Case with 7 free AG1 Travel Packs in your Welcome Kit with your first AG1 subscription order while supplies last. Find Primal Kitchen dressings, sauces, and condiments at your local grocery store or on Primalkitchen.com. Primal Kitchen - made for real food. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
July 8 · 1 hr 9 min
Heavy Flow in Portofino
On this episode, Heather is back from Europe and shares the highs, lows, and heavy flows of her anniversary vacation including the story of finally securing The Bag in Paris. She explains why sometimes you just have to do it for the plot and how a decade of dressing as Pitbull led to a surreal full-circle moment. Episode Sponsors: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely. Don’t let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/absolutely. Go to Ro.co/AbsolutelyNot to see if you qualify. Visit Carawayhome.com/NOT10 to take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Visit resortpass.com/absolutely to get $20 off your first booking of $100 or more. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
July 1 · 1 hr 8 min
Memories with James Abrahart
On this episode, Heather is in LA and brings one of her oldest friends from childhood, James Abrahart to the pod. JHart is an award winning music producer, singer and reality star. Their lore starts in James’ parents basement where they used to create rap albums and eat way too many Pubsubs. They chat about their wild childhood neighbors of Whitney Houston and T-Boz, as well as them being the first “Lonely Island”. His new single, Memories, is out now. Episode Sponsors: Visit www.vivrelle.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 40% off your first 3 months of membership. Shop at Sephora or get 10% off your first purchase at k18hair.com with code HEATHER That’s code HEATHER at k18hair.com. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Go to lululemon.com right now. New styles drop all the time and the colors go fast, so don’t wait. And if something doesn’t work for you, free returns, always. Visit resortpass.com/absolutely to get $20 off your first booking of $100 or more. Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/absolutely! #squarepod Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
June 26 · 1 hr
Replay: No Passport, No Problem
On this replay episode from June 15, 2022 she is getting ready for her wedding in Italy, and fast forward to 2026 her and Jeff are on their way to Florence for their anniversary. You’ll hear Heather have a mental breakdown from the complete shitshow that has been her wedding prep. You’ll see that she has turned into one of THOSE brides and is ready to tell everyone to fuck off all while losing brain cells in her sauna bag in the basement. Not much has changed! Episode Sponsors: Join the millions of customers who trust HomeServe. For 50% less your first year, go to HomeServe.com/absolutely. Our listeners can buy one prescription pair and get 20% off any additional pairs at WarbyParker.com/ABSOLUTELY — and using our link helps support the show. #WarbyParker #ad Patio season is here and these deals won’t last! head to Wayfair.com/outdoor right now to get your outdoor space ready for way less. Visit hillhousehome.com and use code absolutely at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Visit OliveandJune.com/ABSOLUTELY20 for 20% off your first System! Visit resortpass.com/absolutely to get $20 off your first booking of $100 or more. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
June 24 · 1 hr 4 min
American Tourist
On this episode, Heather is coming to you all live from a fabulous hotel in Florence, Italy where she and Jeff are celebrating their wedding anniversary. She starts off the pod chatting about her big move without one very important person- Robin. Heather chats about how Off Campus has changed her brain chemistry. She brings us up to speed about her first days of travel to Italy and how American tourists can achieve il dolce far niente. Episode Sponsors: Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Join the membership for where you live at joinbilt.com/absolutely. Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code ABSOLUTELY at https://branchbasics.com/ABSOLUTELY #branchbasicspod Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/absolutely! #squarepod Head to myGoldenChild.com/Absolutely and save up to 20% when you subscribe. Visit resortpass.com/absolutely to get $20 off your first booking of $100 or more. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
June 17 · 55 min
Di-ancé with Rosebud Baker
On this episode, Heather welcomes Rosebud Baker back to the podcast. Rosebud has been busy since the last cruise. She now has a 2 year old daughter, is getting divorced and even had time to write a book! Fully Baked is a memoir that tackles family tragedy, motherhood, addiction all with honesty and humor. She also chats about her time and her departure from SNL. Episode Sponsors: For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely. Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY! #honeylovepod Visit hillhousehome.com and use code absolutely at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
June 12 · 38 min
Have What It Takes with Sharon McMahon
On this bonus episode, Heather continues her conversation with Sharon McMahon, covering a hypothetical run for office, a special tribute in Heather's act, and the story behind the “I Love Sharon McMahon” billboards. Episode Sponsors: Give your skin the affordable, luxurious glow up it deserves. Go to Naturium.com/ABSOLUTELY for 10% off your first purchase today. Shop at Sephora or get 10% off your first purchase at k18hair.com with code HEATHER. This year, give Dad a gift that captures who he really is, before the stories get harder to remember. Father's Day is Sunday, June 21st. Order RIGHT NOW and save up to $20 at STORYWORTH.com/absolutely. Stop settling for wines that don't quite hit the mark. Head to TryFirstleaf.com/absolutely to sign up and you'll get fifty percent off your first box PLUS free shipping for an entire year. Head to Knix.com and you’ll see why I love Knix. Don’t forget to use code ABSOLUTELY for 15 percent off your order – get leakproof undies, amazing bras, and more! Visit hillhousehome.com and use code absolutely at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
June 10 · 52 min
WTF Government with Sharon McMahon
On this episode, Heather welcomes America’s government teacher, Sharon McMahon. They chat about their shared last name, lake life in Minnesota, and of course WTF is going on with our country and government. Sharon breaks Heather’s questions down in a way that anyone with extreme ADHD can understand. Episode Sponsors: Visit www.vivrelle.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for your first month free. Support your gut health and overall performance with Momentous’ Fiber+ and get up to 35% off your entire first order at livemomentous.com, promo code absolutely. Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at meritbeauty.com. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Go to RO.CO/ABSOLUTELYNOT to see if you qualify. Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus investment. Join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion dollars with Acorns. Head to acorns.com/absolutely or download the Acorns app to get started. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
June 3 · 1 hr 11 min
Know The Assignment
On this episode, Heather is back in ATL after shooting her 3rd special in Knoxville, TN. She chats about the crazy audience members, going through a McDonalds drive-thru, how she was booking a vacation while she should’ve been concentrating on her special. It’s been a long weekend, and the next few days she will be kicking her heels up. She takes on some of the most unhinged voicemails to date and is beginning to think her hotline number is definitely in a Pilot gas station bathroom stall. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT Join the membership for where you live at joinbilt.com/absolutely. Visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Visit hillhousehome.com and use code absolutely at checkout for 20% o your first purchase. You don’t have to say yes to everything this summer. Find support in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/absolutely. Polymarket is now available in the U.S. App Store, with pop culture markets launching very soon. Download the app now and use code ABSOLUTELY to skip the waitlist and be first in line when those markets hit / when those markets go live. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
May 27 · 1 hr 8 min
Tour Trials & Tribulations with Andrew Collin, Raymond Padilla and Christina Tompkins
On this episode, Heather brings the road dogs to the studio to give us all an in-depth recap of tour life. Andrew, Raymond, Christina and Heather reminisce about their favorite cities, toughest shows, the origin of Texas Tony and someone's reliance on Recticare. Episode Sponsors: Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code ABSOLUTELY at https://branchbasics.com/ABSOLUTELY #branchbasicspod Our listeners can buy one prescription pair and get 20% off additional pairs at WarbyParker.com/ABSOLUTELY — and using our link helps support the show. #WarbyParker #ad Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @MUDWTR with code ABSOLUTELY at mudwtr.com/ABSOLUTELY! #mudwtrpod For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
May 22 · 40 min
Bonus: Conspiracy Theory Hot Takes
On this bonus episode, Heather is excited to chat about conspiracy theories. Last week we gave you a prompt about your favorite theories. We spiral on the missing scientists, data centers, lost planes, the moon landing, the Antarctic ice wall and finding love with aliens. Episode Sponsors: Help protect your home systems – and your wallet – with HomeServe against covered repairs. Plans start at just $4.99 a month. Go to HomeServe.com to find the plan that’s right for you. Not available everywhere. Most plans range between $4.99 to $11.99 a month your first year. Terms apply on covered repairs. Ready to do your own spring reset? Join Thrive Market with my link ThriveMarket.com/ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first three orders plus you’ll get a FREE $60 gift Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
May 20 · 49 min
F*ck Yo Couch
On this episode, Heather is coming to you from the new NYC Dear Media studios. Fresh off the heels of Netflix is a Joke, she has some explaining to do about her show in LA. She got to see friends and foes alike! We get voicemails from women buying $20 panties and girlies having a cruise reunion at the special taping. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Ready for your own reset? For a limited time, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY! #honeylovepod Visit www.vivrelle.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for your first month free Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
May 13 · 1 hr 11 min
Ole Miss Divas with Jay Jurden
On this episode Heather brings hilarious comedian and friend Jay Jurden to the pod. Jay and Heather go all the way back to the undergrad theatre department at Ole Miss. They reminisce about their hate for Lane Kiffin, being a theatre major together and how their paths lead them to Netflix is a Joke festival. You can catch Jay’s latest special, Yes Ma’am, on Hulu. Episode Sponsors: Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Join the membership for where you live at joinbilt.com/absolutely. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you. Support your gut health and overall performance with Momentous’ Fiber+ and get up to 35% off your entire first order at livemomentous.com, promo code absolutely. Head to Biologica.com/ABSOLUTELY to get started. Take their Quick Hormonal Life Stage Quiz to find the formula that’s right for you. And right now, subscribers can receive up to 32% off their purchase. Go to Ro.co/ABSOLUTELYNOT to see if you’re eligible for the new GLP-1 pill on Ro. Stop settling for wines that don't quite hit the mark. Head to TryFirstleaf.com/absolutely to sign up and you'll get fifty percent off your first box PLUS free shipping for an entire year. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
May 8 · 1 hr 9 min
Replay: Life's a Sprint
On this replay episode, Heather tells us what really happened at Netflix is a Joke in 2024. She gives a full recap of her time in Golden state and spills the tea from the comedy shows, after parties and more! She opens up about how her life has felt like a sprint and she just made it through the finish line, yet feels hungry for more. She also answers some of the best Absolutely Not's and Yes's we've had to date! Episode Sponsors: Shop at Sephora or get 10% off your first purchase at k18hair.com with code HEATHER. Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus investment. Join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion dollars with Acorns. Head to acorns.com/absolutely or download the Acorns app to get started. Give your skin the affordable, luxurious glow up it deserves. Go to Naturium.com/ABSOLUTELY for 10% off your first purchase today. Ready for your own reset? For a limited time, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. This year, give Mom a gift that helps her reflect on her life with fresh perspective—and gives your whole family the gift of her stories. Mother's Day is Sunday, May 10th. Order RIGHT NOW and save up to $20 at STORYWORTH.com/absolutely. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
May 6 · 1 hr 2 min
Mean but True with Suzanne Lambert
On this episode, Heather welcomes Suzanne Lambert to the podcast to chat about all things growing up in Georgia, the drama of politics and spray tans. The commiserate about sorority life, hotties in the senate, and Connecticut Karen’s. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. You don’t have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/absolutely. Wake up with clearer skin, smoother hair, and cooler sleep. Use code ABSOLUTELY for an extra 30% off at blissy.com/ABSOLUTELY. Head to Knix.com and you’ll see why I love Knix. Don’t forget to use code ABSOLUTELY for 15 percent off your order – get leakproof undies, amazing bras, and more! You’re going to thank me! Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at meritbeauty.com. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
April 29 · 1 hr 16 min
We’ll Cry In June
On this episode, Heather is in full overstimulation mode as she juggles work chaos, no WiFi, and a rogue bird. She explains why “we’ll cry in June” has become her current life motto and is ready to launch a full investigation into the missing scientists. She then gets to your calls about birth conspiracies, offline shopping problems, and frat formals. Episode Sponsors: Head to Biologica.com/ABSOLUTELY to take their Quick Hormonal Life Stage Quiz to find the formula that’s right for you. And right now, subscribers can receive up to 32% off their purchase. Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code ABSOLUTELY at https://branchbasics.com/ABSOLUTELY #branchbasicspod Visit yasso.com/ABSOLUTELY to enter and upgrade your freezer! Find full giveaway details, rules, and regulations. Yasso awarded as product coupons. No purch necessary. Open to 50 US/DC, 18+. Ends 11:59pm ET 4/30. Rules: yasso.com/ABSOLUTELY Download Polymarket. Now available in the United States. More markets are coming every day…so be the first to trade on them using code absolutely - and get $20 free upon deposit. Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @MUDWTR with code ABSOLUTELY at mudwtr.com/ABSOLUTELY! #mudwtrpod Lululemon does limited color runs, so when those new styles drop every Tuesday, they go fast. You don't wanna wait. If it's not for you, lululemon offers free returns, no risk. That's lululemon.com. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
April 22 · 1 hr 10 min
Alternative Experiences
On this episode, Heather is back from her unreal show at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville. She chats about the afterparty on Broadway where she was pouring lemondrop shots for the girls where she is brought back to her days behind the sticks. After having a conspiracy dinner in the Turks, she came home to binge watch multiple documentaries. She takes voicemails from people with a workplace crush, a weird request from an uber driver, and someone looking for alternative experiences in their relationship. Episode Sponsors: Refresh your spring wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely. Ready for your own reset? For a limited time, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely. Let your hair be one less thing to worry about. See visibly thicker, stronger, faster growing hair in 3–6 months with Nutrafol. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Join the membership for where you live at joinbilt.com/absolutely. Ready to do your own spring reset? Join Thrive Market with my link ThriveMarket.com/ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first three orders plus you’ll get a FREE $60 gift. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Absolutely Not

Gout Girl

Forecast: Hot Takes!

Throwback: No Snackin’ in the Back

Pitbull & Miss Worldwide

Heavy Flow in Portofino

Memories with James Abrahart

Replay: No Passport, No Problem

American Tourist

Di-ancé with Rosebud Baker

Have What It Takes with Sharon McMahon

WTF Government with Sharon McMahon

Know The Assignment

Tour Trials & Tribulations with Andrew Collin, Raymond Padilla and Christina Tompkins

Bonus: Conspiracy Theory Hot Takes

F*ck Yo Couch

Ole Miss Divas with Jay Jurden

Replay: Life's a Sprint

Mean but True with Suzanne Lambert

We’ll Cry In June

Alternative Experiences