Abject Suffering

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This is a podcast that's nominally about bad games. In reality, every Monday, Gary Butterfield and Kaye Ross choose a game at random from the titles submitted by listeners, play it, and venture off on a freeform discussion that winds between the topic at hand and some dumb nonsense.

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672 episodes
Updated July 27
Explicit

Episodes672

Newest first

July 27 · 33 min
Abject Suffering 672: Powerpuff Girls: Bad Mojo Jojo (GBC)
The Powerpuff Girls was a fine cartoon. It hit a lot of people at the right age, and its groovy 90s aesthetic was instantly iconic. So it probably deserved a better game than this, a very sloppy brawler and asset hunt. We also talk about the differing legacies of Nicktoons and Cartoon Network classics, how sometimes a cat is a cartoon in real life, and ways to integrate a Venture Bros.-ass TV phone into your daily life.
July 20 · 38 min
Abject Suffering 671: Riddick Bowe Boxing
Riddick Bowe Boxing, known as “Chavez” in some regions, is actually a very good boxing game for the Super Nintendo. So we return to the old topics of boxing in general, how quick and brutal real fights can be, Kaye’s dwindling number of pockets for pocket sand, and the bizarreness of “free use” pornography.
July 14 · 35 min
Abject Suffering 670: Rugrats: Time Travelers
Everyone knows the Rugrats, the hideous Nickelodeon babies who taught us about Passover. Well, they also traveled through time, at least on the GameBoy. And it didn’t turn out very good for anybody. Maybe they should have stopped David Crosby from writing a very creepy song.
July 6 · 31 min
Abject Suffering 669: Space Jam
Everybody get up, it’s time to talk about the Space Jam video game now. And it’s just a weak NBA Jam byproduct, with zero cartoony wackiness to be found. We also talk about the Space Jam sequel and how it was the height of cynical corporate IP management.
June 29 · 37 min
Abject Suffering 668: Phix: The Adventure
Phix is a furby who got magnet powers, and this entire game is an exploration of how to execute on that premise as sorely as possible. But one of the bosses is a big titty Medusa monster, so we discuss whether or not we could find love if one of our arms was a snake.
June 22 · 39 min
Abject Suffering 667: Bill Laimbeer's Future Basketball
Bill Laimbeer’s Combat Basketball is a game that is so infamous that we’re shocked we haven’t covered it yet. It’s a terrible basketball game about a terrible man, and there’s always fun to be had when talking about hoops. But a conversation about a lying Lyft driver leads us to the incredible discovery of Dark Vibes Mobwave Become a Mob Boss Rainy Night Mood Narration.
June 15 · 31 min
Abject Suffering 666: Hell Pie
Hell Pie is a spiritual successor to Conker’s Bad Fur day, and a successful one! It’s also not very funny because it’s trying too hard to be transgressive. However, the platforming is kind of on point, which pains us greatly to say.
June 10 · 32 min
Abject Suffering 665: Streamer Life Simulator
Streamer Life Simulator is, believe it or not, streamer slop. An incredibly janky asset flip that tries to skate by on utter charmlessness. It’s also one of many simulator games that doesn’t really bother to make a game out of what it’s simulating. It just slaps a bathroom meter on it. In addition to complaining about this bad game, we talk about various instances of reality breaking down around Gary.
June 2 · 32 min
Abject Suffering 664: Silent Debuggers
We just need to admit that if old people are farting, it's a slippery slope before... you know. We also think children's games are awesome when performed by professional athletes.
May 25 · 34 min
Abject Suffering 663: Dare Devil Derby 3D
There's not really much to this game, it's a shitty kart racer. We mostly talk how to make bars more quiet.
May 18 · 37 min
Abject Suffering 662: Deep Freeze
Deep Freeze is a Japan-only PlayStation Resident Evil clone where you’re fighting terrorists instead of zombies. It’s most noteworthy for its bonkers intro CGI, but there’s not much to say about a snappier tank control shooter. So instead, we ask the question: What is the strangest movie to jerk off into a cup during?
May 12 · 32 min
Abject Suffering 661: Titenic
Very little in the world is funnier than copyright infringement. That’s why the infamous Chinese bootleg game Titenic (spelling intentional) is worth taking a look at. It’s also kind of good? At least it plays well, and it’s short. Jack and Rose are ready for revenge, and they will ensure that none of the waitstaff remain upright before the night is out.
May 4 · 32 min
Abject Suffering 660: Xenophage Alien Bloodsport
The catalog of DOS games is full of visually impressive experiments that aren’t very fun to play. That’s where we find Xenophage: Alien Bloodsport, a game that is somehow technically adept but also horrifying to look at. It’s also maybe the worst fighting game we’ve ever played. Plus, it includes a playable Barney the Dinosaur, so we talk about the weird wave of wanting to kill childrens’ mascots in the 90s.
April 27 · 44 min
Abject Suffering 659: Sunset Riders
What do goofy cowboys and queer gatekeeping have in common? Stay tuned.
April 20 · 36 min
Abject Suffering 658: Bioforge
BioForge is an also-ran in the world of Alone in the Dark clones, telling the story of a man who wakes up augmented into a cyborg on an alien ship. But you use the NumPad to kick, so everything neat about it goes out the window. It WAS, however, featured in a book called “1001 Games to Play Before You Die”, and boy is that list suspect.
April 15 · 33 min
Abject Suffering 657: White Van Racer
We walked into this one completely unaware of preexisting stereotypes about professionals who drive white vans. Apparently Britons have thoughts. And as a joke game, this kind of works for a minute. So instead we talk about how to properly brand a plumbing company to attract a clientele that doesn’t really want to talk about it.
April 6 · 35 min
Abject Suffering 656: Haven: Call of the King
Haven: Call of the King is a PS2 platformer that doesn’t want you to think it’s a platformer. It wants you to think it’s anything and everything all at once. That’s why they don’t want you to call it a “platformer”, they want you to call it a “FreeFormer”. Which is… hey listen, we’re really sorry about this one, a lot of the episode is dedicated to trying to figure out how to get Gary a wheelbarrow. We fucked it up. Give us a chance again next week.
March 30 · 35 min
Abject Suffering 655: AAAHH!! Real Monsters
Nickelodeon was at the height of their powers in the 90s when they decided to start throwing more and more Nicktoons down the chute. This led to them trying to capture the grotesquery of Ren & Stimpy without any of its transgression. Thus, Aaahh!!! Real Monsters was born, a show about monsters who live in a dump trying to learn to scare humans. This predated Monsters, Inc. by several years, but still feels derivative of that movie!
March 24 · 36 min
Abject Suffering 654: Amazon Trail
The Oregon Trail is a simple game, but it’s timeless. The Amazon trail is complicated and involves time traveling magic panthers, and nobody has thought about it in thirty years. There’s a lesson there. Additionally, there are lessons in hiring contractors to fix your bathroom, and lessons about how the Liar’s Dividend has made public defecators of us all.
March 16 · 40 min
Abject Suffering 653: Special Report
This is a sequel episode to Abject Suffering 619: Wild Woody. Look, we totally intended to record an episode about a video game. But sometimes you’re at a discount grocery store and you stumble across the deal of a lifetime. How many lives could you change with $100?