A Way Beyond the Rainbow

Waheed Jensen

A podcast series discussing the everyday struggles of Muslims with same-sex attractions (SSA) who want to live a life true to Allah and Islam. I am Waheed Jensen, and I have SSA. In today’s world, it seems the overwhelming narrative out there is “love is love” and “embrace your sexual identity”. There are many of us who find that to be incompatible with the life we want to live, which is a God-conscious life in line with the teachings of Islam. This podcast series is a safe space for Muslims who struggle with SSA, as well as parents, family members, friends, imams, chaplains, community leaders, and the community at large.

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97 episodes
Updated Aug 3, 2025

Episodes97

Newest first

Jul 24, 2020 · 1 hr 21 min
#16 - On Hardships, Trials and Tribulations (Part II)
We continue with our three-episode series on hardships, trials and tribulations, and in this second part, we talk about how struggles bring about sincerity, humility and patient forbearance, as well as many rewards from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. We also explore the notion, "With every hardship comes ease", as we present glimpses from the lives of Moses, Maryam and Asiyah, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon them all, and contextualize our struggle with SSA in relation to these profound themes. How are trials and tribulations a sign of Allah's love, and how do they teach us patience, humility and sincerity? Does Allah give us painful trials that we cannot bear? And why is it that, when Asiyah the wife of Pharaoh was being brutally tortured by her husband, she began to smile? These and other questions are discussed in this episode. Send as an anonymous one-way text message
Jul 17, 2020 · 1 hr 20 min
#15 - On Hardships, Trials and Tribulations (Part I)
My friend Aadam joins me in a three-episode series where we discuss hardships, trials and tribulations and contextualize our struggle with SSA in the larger scheme of things. In this episode, we talk about the problem of evil and suffering, the story of Moses (PBUH) and Al-Khidr, the story of Ayyub (PBUH) and his wife, and how everything in life is a test from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Why do "bad things" happen to "good people"? Why are we tested? Can things that appear as "bad" conceal "good" things in them? These and other questions are discussed in this episode. References mentioned in this episode: - "Trials and Tribulations: Wisdom and Benefits" by al-Imam al-'Izz bin 'Abdi-s-Salam - "17 Benefits of Tribulation" lecture by Sh. Hamza Yusuf - "Reclaim Your Heart" by Yasmin Mogahed Send as an anonymous one-way text message
Jul 10, 2020 · 1 hr 6 min
#14 - Reflections on Divine Love and Mercy
With this episode, we begin a series of episodes tackling spiritual aspects relevant to struggles, trials and tribulations. We explore together what many of us have been through, or are still going through, namely, what seems to be "layers of darkness within an unfathomable sea", and our search for Light. The episode is based on Surat al-Fatiha, The Opener and Inaugurator of the Qur'an, and it is an invitation to let go of one's anger, baggage and preconceived notions for a tiny amount of time and to see Allah through Allah, as He describes Himself, subhanahu wa ta'ala, in this foundational surah. Send as an anonymous one-way text message
Jul 3, 2020 · 1 hr 5 min
#13 - Pause. Rewind. Play.
In this season 2 premiere, I address some of the questions and comments received and misconceptions that arose with regards to topics addressed in season 1 of the podcast, inviting everyone to pause, rewind and hit play, both literally and spiritually. Do we all fit the trauma-based models? Does therapy work for everyone? What is meant by "healing" in the context of SSA, and is there any such thing to begin with? And most importantly, who is in charge of your life, choices and decisions? These and other questions are explored in this episode. Links to resources mentioned on sexual identity therapy (SIT): - "Sexual Identity Therapy is Not Reparative Therapy" blog post by Warren Throckmorton - "Understanding Sexual Identity Therapy" blog post by Mark Yarhouse - "Sexual identity therapy: Practice framework for managing sexual identity conflicts" by Warren Throckmorton, Ph.D, and Mark A. Yarhouse, Psy.D. Send as an anonymous one-way text message
Apr 17, 2020 · 2 hr 26 min
#12 - On Richard Cohen's Four Stage Model
In this season finale, Mr. Richard Cohen, author of Coming Out Straight: Understanding Same-Sex Attraction joins me in an intense yet heartwarming discussion of the four areas and four stages of healing that he outlines in his book, as part of a comprehensive and holistic plan to healing and growth. We dissect, in details, the different stages from grounding and transitioning to healing homo- and hetero-emotional wounds, in line with the the psychology of SSA covered in previous episodes. We also address commonly-asked questions towards the end of the episode, with some uplifting messages from Richard to men and women with SSA, as well as parents and family members. A very rewarding and humbling talk, not to be missed! Links to resources mentioned in the episode: - Coming Out Straight: Understanding Same-Sex Attraction by Richard Cohen - TED Talk: "The Great Porn Experiment" by Gary Wilson - Recovery of Your Inner Child by Lucia Capacchione - Positive Approaches to Healthy Sexuality Organization - Ten Days to Self-Esteem by David Burns - Joel 2:25 Organization - Time, Touch and Talk Organization - Straight Struggle Discord Platform Send as an anonymous one-way text message
Apr 10, 2020 · 1 hr 10 min
#11 - On Reintegrative Therapy
In this episode, Mr. Michael Gasparro from Dr. Nicolosi's Breakthrough Clinic joins me to talk about reintegrative therapy. We discuss cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), body work, how to navigate the gray zone and the scenario preceding the homosexual enactment, as well as grief work and the reintegrative therapy protocol. Would therapy help me address my same-sex attractions? How different is reintegrative therapy from what is known nowadays as conversion therapy? What resources are available for me online to access therapy? We examine these and other questions in this episode. Links to resources mentioned in the episode: - Reintegrative Therapy Association - The Reintegrative Protocol - The Breakthrough Clinic - The International Federation for Therapeutic and Counseling Choice (IFTCC) - Alliance for Therapeutic Choice - "Free to Love" Documentary Send as an anonymous one-way text message
Apr 3, 2020 · 1 hr 55 min
#10 - On Female Same-Sex Attractions
In this episode, we tackle the origins, development and characteristics of female same-sex attractions (SSA). We dive again into childhood family dynamics, defensive detachment, gender non-conformity, trauma and sexual abuse, as well as poor peer relations and body image. We explore together dynamics of female-female relationships and discuss emotional dependency and enmeshment. How similar and different are male SSA and female SSA? What are the four profiles of women with SSA? How do attachments, high emotionality and dependency manifest themselves in the lives of women with SSA? We will explore these and other questions in this episode. *General trigger warning: Episode may evoke painful memories and emotional reactions. Also, the topic of childhood sexual abuse is discussed in this episode.* Links to resources mentioned in the episode: - Janelle Hallman's "The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction: A Comprehensive Counseling Resource" Send as an anonymous one-way text message
Mar 27, 2020 · 2 hr 1 min
#9 - On Shame, Narcissism and Assertion
In this episode, my friend Fares and I discuss characteristics and experiences common to men and women experiencing same-sex attractions (SSA). We revisit shame and discuss anticipatory shame, and we explain some of the psychological defenses that we exhibit, mainly false selves and narcissistic thoughts and behaviors. We also dissect the notion of homosexuality being a repetition compulsion and tie it to addictions, and we look into some of the inherent deficits of homosexual relationships. Finally, we end by introducing the notions of grief work and the importance of vulnerability and assertion in resolving the repetition compulsion. What are examples of the false self? How are shame and narcissism tied together? What's the difference between distortions and illusions and how do they control our thinking? What triggers me to act out sexually, and what's the road to healing? We examine these and other questions in this episode. Some extra and relevant resources: - Stand4Truth Summit panel presentations with Robert Vazzo and David Pickup - Coffee with Karim Podcast episode 69: "Are You a Narcissist?" - Same-sex sexuality and psychiatric disorders in the second Netherlands Mental Health Survey and Incidence Study (NEMESIS-2) - Sexual practices among patients with borderline personality disorder Send as an anonymous one-way text message
Mar 20, 2020 · 1 hr 22 min
#8 - On the Genesis of SSA (Part II)
In part II of our discussion on the genesis of same-sex attractions (SSA), we tackle the topics of poor peer relations, social wounds, body image and the masculinity/femininity inferiority complex. We also go into the roles of society, media and culture, as well as the potential effects of separation from parents and negative events in-utero. The second half of the episode is dedicated to the topic of sexual abuse. We consider research findings, consider a personal account, and offer advice and take-home messages to survivors, their loved ones and the community at large. Are feelings of inferiority and experiences of bullying associated with SSA? What roles do society and culture play in the development of SSA? Do events of sexual abuse and rape increase my chances of developing SSA? We will explore these and other questions in this episode. *Trigger warning for victims and survivors of sexual abuse and rape. Episode also flagged for explicit content.* Links to resources mentioned in this episode: - The WHO Coronavirus Disease 2019 Main Page - Coming Out Straight: Understanding Same-Sex Attraction - The Battle for Normality: A Guide for (Self-) Therapy for Homosexuality Send as an anonymous one-way text message
Mar 13, 2020 · 1 hr 57 min
#7 - On the Genesis of SSA (Part I)
In part I of a discussion on the genesis of same-sex attractions (SSA), we tackle the extent to which genetics, temperamental predisposition as well as different family dynamics are associated with the development of homosexual inclinations. In addition, we talk about narcissistic parental relations and their impacts on children, the concept of defensive detachment as well as how homosexuality can be seen as a reparative drive. Is there a gay gene? Am I predisposed to developing SSA? What roles do my father, mother and siblings play in this? We will explore these and other questions in this episode. *General trigger warning: Episode may evoke painful memories and emotional reactions.* Links to books mentioned in this episode: - My Genes Made Me Do It! Homosexuality and the Scientific Evidence - Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality: A New Clinical Approach - Shame and Attachment Loss: The Practical Work of Reparative Therapy - Coming Out Straight: Understanding Same-Sex Attraction - The Battle for Normality: A Guide for (Self-) Therapy for Homosexuality Send as an anonymous one-way text message
Mar 6, 2020 · 2 hr 10 min
#6 - Sinan's Story: "From Devastation to Tranquility"
In this episode, my dear friend Sinan joins me to share his personal story. A journey from a place of complete darkness and devastation to a place of wholeness and peace. *Trigger warning: episode includes vivid recollection of severe depression, death wishes and passive suicidal ideations* Send as an anonymous one-way text message
Feb 28, 2020 · 1 hr 20 min
#5 - On History, Media and the Gay Identity
In the first part of this episode, I present some historical facts on changes within the psychological profession with regards to the classification of homosexuality. I also present some history about the gay liberation movement as well as popular misinformation circulating nowadays, with some scientific studies to disprove some of these misconceptions. Furthermore, we explore the palpable role played by media and pop culture in the confusion of today's youth, as well as the term "homophobia" as it is perceived today. In the second part of the episode, we examine the essentializing vs. non-essentializing paradigms and the difference between saying "I am gay" vs. "I have SSA", as we take a critical look at the notion of gay identity. Links to some scientific studies cited in this episode: - Health care problems of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender patients - Effects of perceived discrimination on mental health and mental health services utilization among gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons - Sexual orientation disparities in the co-occurrence of substance use and psychological distress: a national population-based study (2008-2015) - Embodying pervasive discrimination: a decomposition of sexual orientation inequalities in health in a population-based cross-sectional study in Northern Sweden - Elevated empathy in adults following childhood trauma Send as an anonymous one-way text message
Feb 21, 2020 · 1 hr 23 min
#4 - Q and A Session
In this Q and A session, Aadam and I answer some of the questions and comments that we received by e-mail or came across on social media, with regards to the first three episodes, as well as the recent event that took place in Texas entitled, "LGBTQ+ Balancing Our Faith with Civil Rights" in which I was a speaker. Links to sources mentioned in the episode: - The Event at EPIC Mosque and Center Send as an anonymous one-way text message
Feb 14, 2020 · 1 hr 17 min
#3 - On Self-Compassion, Shame and Vulnerability (Part II)
In the second part of our two-episode series, Aadam and I continue the discussion on self-compassion, shame and vulnerability. In this episode, we talk about connection, shame, feeling worthy and a sense of belonging, vulnerability, and what it really means to be courageous, and then we tie all of these concepts to the struggle of individuals living with SSA. Do you believe you are worthy of love, connection and belonging? Is there a difference between the person you think you should be and the person you really are? Are you willing to remove your masks for a while and show your true emotions? These and other questions are addressed in this episode. Links to sources mentioned in the episode: Brené Brown's TED talk, "The Power of Vulnerability" Brené Brown's TED talk, "Listening to Shame" Brené Brown's Netflix special, "The Call to Courage" Brené Brown's publications Send as an anonymous one-way text message
Feb 7, 2020 · 1 hr 17 min
#2 - On Self-Compassion, Shame and Vulnerability (Part I)
My dear friend Aadam joins me in a two-episode series where we discuss self-compassion, shame and vulnerability. In this episode, we talk about self-love and compassion, how these topics are crucial to our well being and growth, and the difference between shame and guilt. How do you treat yourself on a daily basis? What is it like with your mental chatter? Do you feel worthy of love? These and other questions are presented in this episode. Links to sources mentioned in the episode: Option B, by Sheryl Sandberg Send as an anonymous one-way text message
Jan 31, 2020 · 42 min
#1 - Introduction
In this episode, I introduce myself and give an overview of the current global narrative, highlighting the scarcity of resources in Muslim communities to help individuals struggling with SSA and airing out some of the frustrations that most of us feel. I also give a glimpse into what the podcast is about, who the target audience is, and what to expect from this series. Links to sources mentioned in the episode: - Waheed's article - Br. Yousef's article - The Straight Struggle online group - Susan David's TED talk, "The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage" - Br. Ali's Strong Support foundation Send as an anonymous one-way text message
Jan 3, 2020 · 5 min
Podcast Teaser
A summary of the goals of the podcast and a glimpse into the myriad of topics coming up in the series, inshaAllah. Send as an anonymous one-way text message