The Art of ManlinessGo Ahead and Feel Envious (It Can Be a Positive Force)
Envy is a universal human emotion, but it's one we don't like to admit we feel. When a friend gets a promotion, a neighbor buys a bigger house, or someone you follow on social media seems to be living a better life than you, you might feel a pang of envy. And then you probably feel bad about feeling envious.
But what if envy isn't necessarily a bad thing? What if, instead of trying to suppress it, you could use it to build a better life?
My guest today says that's entirely possible. Her name is Dr. Stacy Kim, and she's a social scientist, a coach who works with high achievers, and the author of Envy: Why Wanting What They Have Is the Key to Getting What You Want.
Today on the show, Stacy explains the difference between benign and malicious envy, how envy can reveal what we really want out of life, and how envy is experienced and expressed differently in the U.S. versus Korea, where Stacy was born. We also discuss why you can't simply stop comparing yourself to others, how to turn envy into motivation and meaningful action, and how this uncomfortable emotion can actually help you build stronger relationships with others.
After the show is over, check out the show notes at aom.is/goodenvy
Related
AoM Podcast #949: Unpacking The Emotion No One Likes to Talk About
AoM Article: An Intro on Envy
AoM Article: Envy, Ressentiment, and the Inversion of Values
AoM Article: The Insidious Disguises of Envy
Connect With Stacy Kim
Stacy's website
0:00 Introduction
1:43 What Kickstarted the Envy Project
4:28 Defining Envy: Benign vs. Malicious
11:08 Envy vs. Jealousy vs. Admiration
13:54 The SIREN Framework for Exploring Envy
19:17 Envy in Korea vs. America
24:50 Collective Envy: Nations & Groups
27:59 Why You Can't Stop Feeling Envy
31:45 Discovering What You Really Want
39:59 Learning From Those You Envy
46:25 Turning Envy Into Service
48:29 Where to Find More & Closing
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