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Your Thoughts Your Reality

Mike Cole

Welcome to "Your Thoughts, Your Reality with Mike Cole," the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges. Michael Cole, a Certified Elite Neuroencoding Specialist, dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life. Join him as we delve into the profound realm of Neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles: procrastination, self-doubt, fear, and more. Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward. 

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  • S2 · E165
    Thursday · 38 min

    Why Are You Still Waiting? | Fear — The 9th Silent War | Clifford Sosamon

    Send us Fan Mail What if fear isn’t actually the thing keeping you stuck? Sometimes fear looks responsible. We research a little more. We wait for better timing. We tell ourselves we need more clarity. We keep preparing. But eventually, preparation can stop helping us move forward and start protecting us from having to act. In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Clifford Sosamon, a Marine Corps veteran, entrepreneur, writer, leadership speaker, creator of the Action Under Friction Method, and host of the Tailgate Chat podcast. Cliff served six years on active duty in the Marine Corps, including deployment to Haiti and Marine Security Guard assignments in Bangkok and Rio de Janeiro. After leaving the military, his path moved through business, nonprofit leadership, operations, veteran advocacy, entrepreneurship, and his own difficult transitions. Together, Mike and Cliff explore Fear — The 9th Silent War and a question many veterans and high performers need to ask themselves: Am I really waiting because I’m not ready—or am I waiting because taking action would force me to face uncertainty? Cliff talks openly about what happened when he took off the uniform. For a Marine, service is more than a job. The identity, community, mission, structure, and camaraderie become deeply ingrained. Cliff describes leaving active duty as almost hanging his identity in the closet along with the uniform. He eventually found purpose again through veteran service organizations and helping other veterans. But when that role later ended, he found himself back in what he describes as a dark valley. That experience taught him an important lesson: When your identity becomes completely attached to a role, transition becomes much harder when the role disappears. But this conversation goes even deeper into the ways fear prevents us from building what comes next. Cliff calls one of those patterns productive hesitation. You may look extremely busy. You may be researching, planning, learning, organizing, tweaking, or preparing. But nothing is actually moving. Cliff shares how this showed up when launching businesses, beginning his podcast, and writing his book. At one point, only about ten pages into writing, he spent an entire day researching literary agents. It felt productive. But it wasn’t moving the book forward. He experienced the same pattern while launching a staffing company with his wife. Instead of filing the LLC, finding an office, or getting clients, he spent days developing the perfect acronym for the company name. The work itself wasn’t useless. The timing was. That is where productive preparation can quietly become avoidance. This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars: Fear — The 9th Silent War: “What am I avoiding because I’m afraid of failure, rejection, success, or uncertainty?” Identity — The 1st Silent War: “Who am I when the role I built myself around changes?” Mission — The 2nd Silent War: “What am I moving toward now?” Control — The 4th Silent War: “Am I trying to eliminate every unknown before I allow myself to act?” Direction — The 8th Silent War: “Do I need the entire roadmap—or just enough direction to take the next step?” Cliff breaks down his Action Under Friction Method into a practical process. First, acknowledge what is happening. Say it. “I’m hesitating.” “I’m afraid this will fail.” “I’m afraid people will reject me.” “I’m afraid this might actually succeed and I won’t know how to handle what comes next.” Then understand where the friction is coming from. Finally, move forward. Not by solving the entire problem. By taking one step. That first imperfect action creates information, confidence, and clarity that another week of thinking may never provide. Mike and Cliff also discuss why capable people can know exactly what they need to do and still freeze under pressure. The brain can create entire future scenarios around rejection, conflict, embarrassment, and failure—many of which never actually happen. Sometimes the most useful question is simply: Is what I’m telling myself actually true? And Cliff gives listeners a practical challenge they can use immediately. Write down the thing you have been avoiding. Then answer: What is the benefit of moving it forward? What is the cost of not moving forward? What action will I take? When will I complete it? How will I hold myself accountable? You do not need to become fearless first. You need to learn how to move while the friction is still there. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why fear can disguise itself as preparation and productivity What Cliff means by productive hesitation How military transition can disrupt identity, mission, and belonging Why fear of failure, rejection, and even success can stop capable people How Cliff’s Action Under Friction Method helps identify what is really creating resistance Why waiting for complete clarity can keep you stuck How taking action can actually create the clarity you were waiting for Why imperfect execution often teaches more than endless preparation How to recognize when you are researching instead of progressing A simple exercise you can use today to turn hesitation into action Before moving on, ask yourself: Am I waiting—or am I acting? And if you already know what the next step is, you probably don’t need another week to think about it. Take the step. Start by connecting with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community and explore more conversations around The 10 Silent Wars: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ Watch the full conversations and subscribe to the Your Thoughts, Your Reality YouTube channel: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality Learn more about Clifford Sosamon, the Action Under Friction Method, and his Execution Under Pressure work: 👉 https://executionunderpressurespeaker.com/ Listen to the Tailgate Chat podcast: 👉 https://tailgatechatpodcast.com/ And when you’re ready to go deeper and create meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ Because your thoughts shape your reality… And sometimes the thing standing between you and the next chapter isn’t fear itself. It’s waiting for the fear to disappear before you move. #Fear #TheNinthSilentWar #CliffordSosamon #ActionUnderFriction #ExecutionUnderPressure #MilitaryTransition #Veterans #Leadership #FearOfFailure #PersonalGrowth #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E164
    Wednesday · 32 min

    When the Alerts Stop | Identity — The 1st Silent War | Judy Crockett

    Send us Fan Mail What happens when you spent decades being the person who had to be ready for what could go wrong—and suddenly, nobody needs you to carry that responsibility anymore? The radio gets quieter. The routine changes. The emergencies belong to someone else. But your brain may not immediately understand that the mission has changed. In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Judy Crockett, who spent 33 years with Utah State University Public Safety and served as the university’s emergency manager. Her career included emergency preparedness, campus alert systems, critical-incident planning, and helping people prepare for the moments nobody ever wants to happen. Today, Judy is a Certified Brain Health Trainer and Neuroencoding Specialist, founder of the Thrive Tribe, and is building a new mission focused on helping first responders protect their brain health and prepare for life beyond the role. Together, Mike and Judy explore Identity — The 1st Silent War and a transition many veterans, first responders, and public-safety professionals understand: Who are you when people no longer need you in the same way they once did? For years, Judy would walk into work thinking about the worst-case scenario. Could today be the day of an active shooter? Were the alert systems working? Was everyone prepared? Even the sound of opening her morning Diet Coke became connected to the beginning of that state of readiness. Then she retired. The responsibility stopped almost overnight—but the conditioning did not. Judy describes retirement as a genuine grieving process. She loved public safety, the camaraderie, the mission, and knowing that what she did mattered. When it disappeared, she had to learn something that became central to her transition: Being needed and being valued are not the same thing. Leaving the role did not diminish her value. But emotionally understanding that took time. This conversation connects directly to several of The 10 Silent Wars: Identity — The 1st Silent War: “Who am I when the role that defined so much of my life is gone?” Mission — The 2nd Silent War: “What gives me something meaningful to move toward now?” Connection — The 3rd Silent War: “Who are my people when the professional relationships and camaraderie change?” Control — The 4th Silent War: “Can I recognize a potential threat without feeling responsible for controlling it?” Direction — The 8th Silent War: “How do I intentionally prepare for the next chapter before the old one ends?” One of Judy’s biggest messages is simple: Do not wait until retirement to start thinking about what comes next. Have something that pulls you forward. It does not have to be another career. It could be volunteering, learning something new, physical activity, a hobby, time with family, or discovering a new way to use the strengths you spent decades building. Judy also talks about the hidden cost of constant preparedness. She shares a moment at the Pro Bowl when, instead of enjoying some of the best football players in the world, she found herself focused on a fight developing in the crowd. Her public-safety brain was still working. The skill was not necessarily the problem. The challenge was learning when it was appropriate to use it—and when it was safe to come back to the present. Mike and Judy discuss practical ways to interrupt those automatic patterns, including recognizing automatic negative thoughts, asking whether a thought is actually true, changing physical state, movement, breathing, smiling, getting outside, and intentionally redirecting attention. Judy’s approach is not about erasing the awareness that made someone effective in public safety. It is about learning that awareness does not always have to become alarm. And when the professional touchpoints disappear, connection becomes even more important. That is part of why Judy created the Thrive Tribe—a place centered around connection, growth, self-care, and having people who support one another through life’s transitions. Because rebuilding identity is not always about finding another title. Sometimes it is about finding your people again. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why retirement from public safety can feel like grieving a loss How being needed can quietly become tied to identity Why your value does not disappear when your professional role ends How decades of preparedness can follow you into retirement The difference between useful awareness and constantly anticipating danger Why preparing for transition should begin before your final day on the job How learning, movement, sleep, nutrition, and connection can support your next chapter How Judy challenges automatic negative thoughts Why maintaining relationships matters when professional touchpoints disappear How the strengths built in one mission can become part of an entirely new one If something in this conversation resonated with you, take a minute before moving on. Ask yourself: If the alerts stopped tomorrow, what part of me would still know who I am? And if you are approaching retirement or another major transition, ask one more: What am I building now that will give me something meaningful to move toward then? Start by connecting with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community and explore more conversations around The 10 Silent Wars: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ Watch the full conversations and subscribe to the Your Thoughts, Your Reality YouTube channel: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality Learn more about Judy Crockett, her brain-health work, the Thrive Tribe, and the programs she is building for first responders: 👉 https://brainthrivezone.com/ 👉 judy@thebraincommander.com And when you’re ready to go deeper and create meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ Because your thoughts shape your reality… And when the alerts stop, your value, experience, and ability to make a difference do not stop with them. #Identity #TheFirstSilentWar #JudyCrockett #FirstResponders #PublicSafety #Retirement #MilitaryTransition #BrainHealth #ThriveTribe #EmergencyManagement #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E163
    September 25 · 31 min

    What Are We Building Together? | Mission — The 2nd Silent War | Justin & Misty Williams

    Send us Fan Mail What happens when the uniform comes off—but the part of you that wants to serve is still there? Military life gives you a mission, a team, structure, and a reason people are counting on you. Then transition comes, and nobody hands you the next set of orders. For a married couple who have both served, the question becomes even more interesting: How do you build the next mission together without trying to recreate the life you just left? In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Air Force veterans Justin and Misty Williams, husband and wife and founders of Bombshell Suds Company. Justin served more than 20 years in Air Force Security Forces, including about a decade as a military working dog handler. Misty is an Air Force veteran and registered nurse whose healthcare background helps shape the couple’s approach to skin care, ingredients, health, and function. Together, Mike, Justin, and Misty explore Mission — The 2nd Silent War and what happens when purpose is no longer assigned to you. For Justin, retiring from the military itself was not the hardest part. The bigger question was: “What now?” Misty found another way to serve through nursing, fitness, and helping others. Justin found himself searching for what would pull him toward the next chapter. That distinction becomes one of the strongest themes in this conversation. There is a difference between doing something because you have to and finding something you genuinely get to do. Justin describes Bombshell Suds as something that can keep him up late and get him up early without feeling like another obligation. What began after seeing handmade soap at a Texas market and thinking, “I bet I can make this,” gradually became something much bigger. They experimented. They changed formulas. They worked on longevity, dry skin, scents, and the experience of actually using the product. Then customers began coming back. Families started referring other families. And what started as an idea began feeling like a mission. This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars: Mission — The 2nd Silent War: “What are we choosing to build now that nobody else is assigning the mission?” Identity — The 1st Silent War: “Who are we after military service becomes part of our past rather than our daily role?” Connection — The 3rd Silent War: “How do we stay connected as spouses while also becoming business partners?” Control — The 4th Silent War: “What can we actually control when entrepreneurship is unpredictable?” Direction — The 8th Silent War: “How do we know when we’ve found something worth moving toward?” Justin and Misty also get honest about something many couples who work together understand: Marriage does not have rank. The work ethic, persistence, and “no quit” mentality they developed through military life have helped them tremendously as entrepreneurs. But some military habits do not belong at home. Misty jokes that Justin cannot “pull rank” on her, and they discuss the importance of remembering that your spouse is not one of your troops or employees. For them, working together requires communication, flexibility, asking for help, and recognizing that both partners will not always be operating at 100%. Sometimes one person carries more. Sometimes the other does. The mission still belongs to both of them. Misty also brings another perspective into the conversation through nursing: you cannot serve everyone else indefinitely while completely neglecting yourself. She sees what can happen when people spend years pouring into everyone around them while ignoring their own physical, mental, and emotional health. Self-care is not separate from mission. It is part of maintaining the person responsible for carrying it. Justin and Misty ultimately describe their next chapter in a simple way: Their commitment to service did not disappear. The mission changed. Instead of serving inside a military organization, they are building something of their own—one product, one customer, one family, and one bar of soap at a time. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why transition can be less about leaving the military and more about finding what comes next How Justin and Misty experienced military transition differently What it feels like when a new purpose begins pulling you toward it How Bombshell Suds grew from an experiment into a family mission Which military habits helped them become stronger business partners Which military leadership habits absolutely do not belong in a marriage Why communication matters when spouses live and work together How Misty’s nursing experience shapes their approach to health and self-care Why entrepreneurship requires focusing on what you can actually control How service can remain part of your identity even when the mission itself changes If this conversation resonated with you, ask yourself: What are we building now? Maybe your next mission is not a business. Maybe it is your family, your health, your marriage, your community, or an idea you cannot seem to stop thinking about. Pay attention to what keeps pulling you back. There may be a reason. Start by connecting with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community and explore more conversations around The 10 Silent Wars: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ Watch the full conversations and subscribe to the Your Thoughts, Your Reality YouTube channel: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality Support Justin and Misty’s dual-veteran, family-run business and learn more about Bombshell Suds Company: 👉 https://bombshellsudsco.com/ And when you’re ready to go deeper and create meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ Because your thoughts shape your reality… And sometimes your next mission is not something you are given. It is something you choose to build together. #Mission #TheSecondSilentWar #JustinWilliams #MistyWilliams #BombshellSuds #VeteranOwnedBusiness #MilitaryTransition #VeteranEntrepreneurs #MilitaryFamily #Entrepreneurship #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E141
    September 19 · 44 min

    What Did Strength Cost You? | Identity — The 1st Silent War | Chris Chandler-Yates

    Send us Fan Mail What happens when the version of you that keeps everyone safe starts costing you the people you love? For men in policing, military service, first response, and other high-pressure careers, control, vigilance, emotional restraint, and the ability to stay composed under pressure can become part of who you are. Those traits may make you exceptional at the job. But what happens when they never switch off? In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Chris Chandler-Yates, a former New Zealand police officer who spent seven and a half years in law enforcement, including nearly four years in protection services. Burnout and PTSD eventually forced Chris to confront what the job had changed—not only in his health, but in his identity, his behavior, and his marriage. Today, Chris is a men’s coach, speaker, and host of Motivated Masculine Men, where he focuses on burnout, relationships, purpose, and healthier definitions of masculinity. Together, Mike and Chris explore Identity — The 1st Silent War and a question that goes far beyond leaving a uniform or badge behind: Which parts of the person you became still serve you—and which parts are hurting the life you were trying to protect? Chris speaks openly about how quickly policing began changing him. He remembers becoming more reactive, increasingly hyperaware, emotionally shut down, and constantly prepared for something to go wrong. Eventually, things deteriorated to the point that he nearly cheated on his wife and told her he wanted a divorce. Instead of walking away, his wife challenged him to get help. A counselor recognized burnout and probable PTSD and encouraged him to step away. What followed became part of Chris’s rebuilding process: a three-month, roughly 8,000-mile motorcycle journey designed to help him reconnect with himself. That trip became more than an escape. It became an opportunity to ask: Who am I underneath the cop? Chris describes how policing taught him to switch into a particular persona—the person who needed to remain alert, controlled, and capable when everyone else was moving away from danger. Mike and Chris discuss the importance of learning how to intentionally “switch off” that identity when the shift ends. Chris shares examples of officers using physical anchors—zipping up a vest, tying boots, or entering the station—to signal when the professional role begins and ends. Because the goal is not to eliminate the warrior. It is learning when you need him. This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars: Identity — The 1st Silent War: “Who am I beyond the badge, uniform, or role?” Control — The 4th Silent War: “Can I stop trying to control everything around me just to feel safe?” Connection — The 3rd Silent War: “Can I communicate honestly enough to stay connected to the people I love?” Emotional Armor — The 7th Silent War: “What protected me on the job but keeps me closed off at home?” Trust — The 5th Silent War: “Can I safely open up, ask for help, and let someone see what I’m carrying?” One of the strongest themes in this episode is communication. Chris describes trauma like putting rotten fruit into a box and hiding it away. You may surround it with good memories and keep functioning, but if you never deal with what is inside, eventually it begins affecting everything around it. For Chris, asking for help was not about becoming weaker. It was about becoming a better husband, a better man, and a healthier version of himself. He and Mike also talk candidly about marriage and why real connection often requires taking off the emotional “vest” and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Chris credits brutal honesty and communication as major reasons his marriage survived some of its darkest moments. His message to men is simple: You can still be strong. You can still protect. You can still run toward danger when everyone else is running away. Just don’t lose yourself in the process. In this episode, you’ll learn: How high-pressure careers can quietly become part of your identity Why traits that make you effective professionally can damage relationships at home How burnout and PTSD began showing up in Chris’s behavior and marriage What his 8,000-mile motorcycle journey helped him rediscover How intentional anchors can help separate work identity from home identity Why risk-taking can become a way of trying to feel something again How unprocessed trauma can begin affecting every other part of life Why asking for help is an act of courage rather than weakness How honest communication can rebuild connection in a relationship Why healthy masculinity includes knowing when to put the armor down If something in this conversation sounded familiar, don’t just move on. Ask yourself: What part of the person I became to survive am I still carrying into places where I no longer need it? Then do what Chris says changed everything for him: Communicate. Start by connecting with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community and explore more conversations around The 10 Silent Wars: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ Watch the full conversations and subscribe to the Your Thoughts, Your Reality YouTube channel: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality Learn more about Chris Chandler-Yates and the Motivated Masculine Men podcast: 👉 https://motivatedmasculinemen.com/ And when you’re ready to go deeper and create meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ Chris’s motto is “Train hard, test easy.” Because life will continue to test us—and sometimes real strength means training ourselves not only to put the armor on, but to know when it is finally safe to take it off. #Identity #TheFirstSilentWar #ChrisChandlerYates #MotivatedMasculineMen #PTSD #Burnout #HealthyMasculinity #FirstResponders #Veterans #Relationships #EmotionalArmor #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E159
    September 12 · 34 min

    When Did You Start Doubting Yourself? | Identity — The 1st Silent War | Laura Ollinger

    Send us Fan Mail When did you first start questioning whether you were good enough? For many people, that story begins early—through grades, sports, appearance, approval, responsibility, or trying to become the version of ourselves we believe others will accept. Over time, those messages can become part of our identity until we stop asking who we are and start measuring ourselves by how well we perform. In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Laura Ollinger, a teen and parent well-being coach, motivational youth speaker, mom of four teens, National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, Neuroencoding Specialist, and host of the Positively Healthy Mom podcast. Together, Mike and Laura explore Identity — The 1st Silent War and one of the most important questions we can ask: Who gets to decide who you are? Laura shares the idea behind her signature message, The Decider, and how her own personal work led to a powerful realization: “I’m the decider of my worth.” That idea becomes the center of this conversation. Mike and Laura discuss how self-doubt can form, how achievement can become tied to identity, and how parents can unintentionally reinforce the belief that worth is something that must be earned. They also explore the difference between praising outcomes and recognizing effort, courage, growth, and willingness to try. Because when someone only feels seen after the grade, the goal, the win, or the accomplishment, they can begin to believe: “I matter when I perform.” This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars: Identity — The 1st Silent War: “Whose voice gets to define who I am?” Self-Worth — The 6th Silent War: “Is my value based on what I accomplish?” Connection — The 3rd Silent War: “Do I still belong when I disappoint someone?” Control — The 4th Silent War: “Can I allow someone I love to make their own choices?” Direction — The 8th Silent War: “Am I learning to make decisions for myself?” Mike and Laura also discuss the fine line between protection and control. Technology, monitoring, rescuing, and trying to prevent every mistake can come from love—but they can also unintentionally communicate: “I don’t trust you to figure this out.” Laura explains the importance of autonomy support: giving teens and young adults age-appropriate opportunities to make decisions, experience consequences, and build confidence through real-life problem solving. Because confidence does not come from never failing. It comes from discovering: “I made a mistake—and I can handle what comes next.” The conversation also goes deeper into generational patterns. What did you have to do growing up to receive attention, praise, acceptance, or love? What did your family teach you about success, failure, image, responsibility, and worth? And which of those messages might you be carrying forward without realizing it? Laura’s message is not about blaming yourself or your parents. It is about awareness. Once you recognize the patterns that shaped you, you can decide which ones you want to keep—and which ones stop with you. In this episode, you’ll learn: When self-doubt and identity struggles can begin developing What Laura means by becoming “The Decider” Why self-worth and achievement can become dangerously connected How praising effort and courage can build healthier confidence Why over-rescuing can undermine resilience and independence How autonomy support helps teens learn to trust themselves How family patterns shape identity across generations Why perfectionism, anxiety, procrastination, and shutdown can be connected How open-ended curiosity can create more connection than criticism Why meaningful change can start with one small action If this conversation made you recognize something in yourself, your children, or the way you were raised, don’t use that awareness as another reason to judge yourself. Use it as information. Ask yourself: Whose voice has been deciding who I am—and is it time for me to become the decider? Start by connecting with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community and explore more conversations around The 10 Silent Wars: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ Watch the full conversations and subscribe to the Your Thoughts, Your Reality YouTube channel: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality Learn more about Laura Ollinger, The Decider, her teen and parent coaching, school speaking, and the Positively Healthy Mom podcast: 👉 https://positivelyhealthycoaching.com/ And when you’re ready to go deeper and create meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ Because your thoughts shape your reality… And sometimes the first step toward becoming who you are is deciding that your worth is no longer up for debate. #Identity #TheFirstSilentWar #LauraOllinger #TheDecider #SelfWorth #ParentingTeens #TeenMentalHealth #Confidence #EmotionalRegulation #Neuroencoding #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E155
    September 5 · 38 min

    Who Sees the Veteran? | Identity — The 1st Silent War | Brittinie Wick

    Send us Fan Mail What happens when the uniform comes off—but part of you still needs that chapter of your life to be seen? And what happens when people do not even recognize that you were the one who served? For many veterans, transition is not simply about leaving the military. It is about deciding what parts of service you carry forward, what parts you release, and how you build a new identity without pretending that the person you were no longer matters. For women veterans, there can be another layer entirely: What happens when your service becomes invisible? In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Brittinie Wick, an eight-year U.S. Air Force veteran and former intelligence analyst who supported the RPA community and operations across the Middle East and Africa. Today, Brittinie is a Doctor of Physical Therapy, fitness professional, military spouse, mother of four, advocate for women veterans, and founder and host of the Women Serve Too podcast—a platform created to help military women and veterans tell their stories, feel seen, and connect with others who understand what they have experienced. Together, Mike and Brittinie explore Identity — The 1st Silent War. Brittinie knew at a young age that military service was part of her calling. The events of September 11 deeply affected her as a child, and not long afterward, even a Disney movie—Cadet Kelly—helped reinforce the picture she had begun forming of women in military service. At 18, she joined the Air Force. The reality she encountered was far more complicated than the image she had imagined. As an intelligence analyst, Brittinie learned to work in an environment where information mattered, mistakes had consequences, and some of the most important things happening in her life could not be discussed with the people closest to her. She also experienced moments when her expertise was overlooked, questioned, or simply not heard—experiences that added another layer to what it meant to establish herself as a young woman serving in the military. Then service became painfully personal. Brittinie shares the impact of losing her friend Zach in the Frankfurt Airport shooting, the fear she experienced while her then-fiancé was deployed to Afghanistan, and what it was like receiving intelligence about attacks near his location while being unable to reach him. She describes the panic, hypervigilance, compartmentalization, and pressure of knowing things she could not talk about while working in a culture where seeking mental-health support often carried stigma. Years later, the Las Vegas shooting brought much of that trauma back to the surface. And underneath those experiences was a much larger question: Who was she becoming because of everything she had lived through? This conversation connects directly to several of The 10 Silent Wars: Identity — The 1st Silent War: “Who am I when the uniform, role, and security clearance no longer define me?” Mission — The 2nd Silent War: “What do I do when the path I thought I was supposed to follow changes?” Connection — The 3rd Silent War: “Where can I find people who actually understand what I experienced?” Emotional Armor — The 7th Silent War: “What did I learn to keep inside because I believed I could not talk about it?” Direction — The 8th Silent War: “How do I build a meaningful next chapter when the original plan no longer fits?” Brittinie’s transition after service was anything but linear. She originally believed law school and eventually politics were part of her future. After being rejected from law school twice, she had to reconsider a plan she had carried for years. That pivot eventually led to an MBA, work in fitness, and then another realization: she was already spending much of her time helping clients work through physical limitations and injuries. So she changed direction again. Today, she is a licensed physical therapist. Her story is a powerful reminder that changing direction does not mean you failed the original mission. Sometimes it means you finally discovered the next one. But one part of Brittinie’s identity continued to bother her. She and her husband had both served, yet people routinely thanked him for his service while assuming she was the military dependent—even when she handed them her own active-duty military ID. She remembers thinking: Women serve too. Why is that so hard for people to understand? Eventually, that frustration became a mission. Through the Women Serve Too podcast, Brittinie gives military women and veterans space to tell their own stories—from leadership and motherhood to PTSD, military sexual trauma, transition, entrepreneurship, and the struggle to rediscover purpose after the uniform comes off. And in helping other women tell their stories, Brittinie discovered something important about her own: Connection can be healing. Hearing another person describe something you thought you were carrying alone can create one of the most powerful realizations possible: “That happened to me too.” In this episode, you’ll learn: Why leaving the military can create a deeper identity struggle than simply changing careers How women veterans can become invisible even when they were the ones who served How September 11 influenced Brittinie’s decision to join the Air Force What intelligence work taught her about responsibility, secrecy, and compartmentalization How losing a friend to terrorism changed the way she experienced her own mission What it was like receiving intelligence about danger near her deployed fiancé while being unable to contact him How trauma and hypervigilance can continue long after the original event Why transitioning from military service required Brittinie to repeatedly redefine her direction How two law-school rejections eventually led her toward physical therapy Why Brittinie created Women Serve Too How hearing other veterans’ stories can reduce isolation and help people feel seen Why your military chapter can remain part of you without becoming the only thing that defines you If something in this conversation made you think, “That’s me,” “I’ve felt that,” or “Finally—someone sees it,” don’t immediately move on. Sit with it for a moment. Then take one action. Reach out to someone. Share your story. Listen to another veteran’s story. Send this episode to somebody who needs to hear it. Information alone does not create change. Action does. Start by connecting with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community and explore more conversations around The 10 Silent Wars: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ Watch the full conversations and subscribe to the Your Thoughts, Your Reality YouTube channel: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality To hear more stories from women who have served, search Women Serve Too on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also find Women Serve Too on Instagram and connect with Brittinie Wick on LinkedIn. And when you’re ready to go deeper and create meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ Because your thoughts shape your reality… And being seen does not require leaving your service behind—it means allowing that chapter to become part of the whole person you are becoming. #Identity #TheFirstSilentWar #WomenServeToo #WomenVeterans #MilitaryTransition #Veterans #MilitarySpouse #PTSD #Connection #Purpose #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E156
    August 27 · 33 min

    Can You Lead Without Rank? | Identity — The 1st Silent War | Neco Johnson

    Send us Fan Mail What happens when the rank comes off? When the title disappears, the structure changes, and the position that helped define you for decades suddenly belongs to someone else? For many veterans and leaders, transition is not simply about finding another job. It can force a much deeper question: Who am I when the authority, recognition, and identity attached to my role are gone? In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Neco Johnson, a retired U.S. Air Force Chief Master Sergeant with 28 years of service. During his career, Neco served as a First Sergeant, Command First Sergeant, and Commandant of the Air Force First Sergeant Academy. Today, he is the founder and CEO of First Class Leadership, a keynote speaker, executive coach, leadership consultant, and author of The Power of Pivots. Together, Mike and Neco explore Identity — The 1st Silent War and what it takes to separate who you are from the rank, title, uniform, or position that once helped define you. Neco’s story begins long before he became a Chief Master Sergeant. At 17, he became a father—something he admits terrified him enough that he initially ran from the responsibility. A direct intervention from his mother forced him to face what he was avoiding, and that moment became one of the first major pivots of his life. The desire to become the father he wanted to be eventually helped lead him into the Air Force and began a 28-year journey of growth, responsibility, and leadership. But one of the most powerful lessons Neco learned was that leadership was never really about the rank. He began his Air Force career as an HVAC technician. Troubleshooting mechanical systems taught him not to react only to the symptom in front of him, but to diagnose the entire system. Later, he realized people require the same kind of curiosity. Poor performance may not simply be poor performance. Behind it could be fear, self-doubt, conflict, problems at home, lack of trust, or someone who simply does not believe in themselves. That realization helped shape Neco’s approach to authentic leadership: understand the person before trying to fix the problem. This conversation connects directly to several of The 10 Silent Wars: Identity — The 1st Silent War: “Who am I when the rank and title no longer define me?” Fear — The 9th Silent War: “Am I being called to pivot—or am I simply afraid of what comes next?” Self-Worth — The 6th Silent War: “Does my value change when the recognition and authority disappear?” Direction — The 8th Silent War: “How do I take everything I learned and find where it belongs next?” Legacy — The 10th Silent War: “Did I build something strong enough to continue without me?” Neco offers a powerful perspective for anyone struggling with transition: if the organization continues to thrive after you leave, that does not diminish what you contributed. It may actually be evidence that you led well. The uniform may come off, but the discipline, character, communication skills, experience, and ability to influence others do not disappear with it. Civilian leadership is simply different. People may no longer follow because rank requires them to. The bigger opportunity is becoming the kind of person they choose to follow. Neco also shares ideas from The Power of Pivots, including why growth often requires moving before you have complete certainty. He challenges the familiar idea of constantly stepping “outside” your comfort zone. Instead, he suggests enlarging your comfort zone. Every time you confront something uncomfortable, develop competence, and move through it successfully, what once frightened you becomes part of what you now know you can handle. He breaks that growth process into four C’s: Commitment — Decide that you are going to do the difficult thing. Competence — Develop the ability through repetition and experience. Confidence — Allow competence to create evidence that you can handle it. Curiosity — Begin asking, “What else am I capable of?” And when emotions threaten to stop forward movement, Neco offers another simple framework: ACT. Acknowledge. Choose. Take Action. Acknowledge the fear, anxiety, frustration, or emotion that is present. Choose to move forward according to the standard you set before the emotion took over. Then take action. Because knowledge alone does not change your life. Applied knowledge does. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why rank and title can quietly become part of your identity How to separate authentic leadership from positional authority Why everything you developed in the military still matters after transition How Neco went from becoming a father at 17 to serving 28 years in the Air Force What HVAC troubleshooting taught him about understanding and developing people Why character should matter more than rank How to know when fear and a genuine life pivot may be colliding Why Neco believes we should enlarge our comfort zones rather than simply step outside them How commitment, competence, confidence, and curiosity build personal growth How the ACT framework can help you move forward when emotion tells you to stop Why your greatest leadership test may come when nobody is required to follow you If something in this conversation resonated with you, don’t immediately move on. Ask yourself: If the rank, title, position, or role disappeared tomorrow—what would still be true about who I am? Start by connecting with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community and explore more conversations around The 10 Silent Wars: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ Watch the full conversations and subscribe to the Your Thoughts, Your Reality YouTube channel: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality Learn more about Neco Johnson, First Class Leadership, his coaching and speaking, and The Power of Pivots: 👉 https://necojohnson.com/ And when you’re ready to go deeper and create meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ Because your thoughts shape your reality… And when the rank comes off, the leader you became does not have to disappear with it. #Identity #TheFirstSilentWar #NecoJohnson #MilitaryTransition #Veterans #Leadership #AuthenticLeadership #ThePowerOfPivots #ChiefMasterSergeant #PersonalGrowth #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E158
    August 26 · 35 min

    What Makes Tomorrow Matter? | Mission — The 2nd Silent War | Marcus Weiss

    Send us Fan Mail When was the last time you genuinely couldn’t wait for tomorrow? For many veterans, leaders, parents, and high performers, there comes a point when life starts feeling more like routine than anticipation. The career changes. The kids grow up. The old mission ends. The days keep moving—but the question quietly becomes: What am I actually looking forward to now? In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with his friend Marcus Weiss—actor, director, producer, Joy Empowerment Coach, performer, and Dual Elite Certified Neuroencoding Specialist whose career has included Blue Man Group and Cirque du Soleil. Marcus also shares a much more personal part of his story. Growing up in Switzerland on welfare and later experiencing depression in college, he found safety, expression, and eventually purpose through performance. Theater became what he describes as a kind of cocoon—a place where he could explore emotion, rewrite the script, connect with others, and rediscover what it felt like to be alive. Together, Mike and Marcus explore Mission — The 2nd Silent War through a question that goes deeper than simply asking, “What should I do next?” What makes you want to experience the next moment? Marcus explains that looking forward to tomorrow is not necessarily determined by what is happening outside of us. The future is uncertain. What shapes our experience of it is often the meaning we attach to what we imagine is coming. “I have to go to work tomorrow” and “I’m going to work tomorrow” describe the same event—but they can create completely different internal experiences. Marcus introduces what he calls a “lily pad” between I have to and I get to. If gratitude or excitement feels too far away, you do not have to force yourself there. Start smaller. Remove the judgment. Acknowledge what you are doing. Then begin intentionally recognizing and celebrating the moments when you show up. The goal is not fake positivity. It is building the ability to create more moments of aliveness, gratitude, meaning, and anticipation—one small, consistent step at a time. This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars: Mission — The 2nd Silent War: “What am I living for now?” Identity — The 1st Silent War: “Who am I beneath the roles and masks I’ve learned to wear?” Self-Worth — The 6th Silent War: “Can I recognize that I am worthy before I accomplish something for someone else?” Direction — The 8th Silent War: “What is pulling me toward tomorrow instead of keeping me anchored to yesterday?” Emotional Armor — The 7th Silent War: “What happens when I allow myself to be vulnerable and let people see who I really am?” One of the most powerful parts of the conversation comes when Mike asks how veterans can accept that their next mission may be quieter and more personal than the mission they once knew. Marcus compares it to putting a toe into still water. The ripple may begin small, but it still travels. A quieter mission is not necessarily a lesser mission. And Marcus makes an important point: the mission has to begin with you. You cannot show up for the people around you if you never learn to show up for yourself. He also challenges the idea that you need one massive life purpose before you can begin moving forward. Start with what already creates a spark. Notice a moment that feels good. Acknowledge that you helped create it. Celebrate it. Repeat it. Over time, those small moments can help reveal something larger: Your why. Not something you are running away from—but something meaningful enough to pull you forward. Because forward includes tomorrow. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why having an okay life is different from having something you genuinely look forward to How the meaning you attach to tomorrow shapes how you experience it today Marcus’s “lily pad” between “I have to” and “I get to” Why forced positivity is not the answer How small, consistent actions help build emotional momentum Why acknowledging and celebrating progress matters How to recognize when something in your life feels out of alignment Why your next mission does not have to be loud or enormous to matter How self-worth and mission are connected Why finding something that pulls you forward can make tomorrow matter again If something in this conversation made you stop, think, or feel something—don’t immediately move on. Ask yourself: What am I looking forward to? And if you don’t have an answer yet, start smaller: What is one thing I could put back into my life that makes me feel more alive? Start by connecting with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community and exploring more conversations around The 10 Silent Wars: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ Watch the full conversations and subscribe to the Your Thoughts, Your Reality YouTube channel: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality To connect with Marcus, search The Marcus Weiss Experience on Instagram, Marcus Weiss on LinkedIn, or Marcus Jacob Weiss on Facebook. And when you’re ready to go deeper and create meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ Because your thoughts shape your reality… And sometimes finding your next mission begins with finding one reason you want tomorrow to come. #Mission #TheSecondSilentWar #MarcusWeiss #Purpose #Joy #MilitaryTransition #Veterans #Direction #SelfWorth #PersonalGrowth #Neuroencoding #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E157
    August 25 · 39 min

    What’s Worth Chasing Now? | Mission — The 2nd Silent War | Tony Medrano

    Send us Fan Mail What are you chasing now? For veterans and high performers, finishing one mission can create an uncomfortable question: What’s next? Another challenge can keep us moving. Another title can keep us busy. Another goal can give us something to pursue. But movement is not always purpose. In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Tony Medrano, a former U.S. Navy Surface Warfare Officer who served aboard a guided missile destroyer, went on to Stanford Business School and Law School, built a career as a technology entrepreneur, completed three full Ironman triathlons, and today serves as CEO and co-founder of Longevity Plan AI. Together, Mike and Tony explore Mission — The 2nd Silent War and what happens when the mission that once gave your life structure, meaning, and direction is gone. Tony shares what it was like leaving a military environment where the objective was clear and entering Silicon Valley, where profit, competition, and individual ambition often replaced the teamwork and shared purpose he had known in the Navy. That transition eventually raised a deeper question: Was he pursuing meaningful work—or had he simply become good at chasing the next difficult thing? Tony talks openly about periods in his entrepreneurial career when the work lacked purpose, companies that failed, losing everything in an early AI venture, a military knee injury that followed him for decades, and being hit by a car just weeks before his first Ironman. Rather than allowing those setbacks to become the end of the story, he repeatedly used them to reconsider what was worth pursuing next. Today, Tony says he is working harder than ever—but is also happier because his work is connected to something he genuinely cares about: helping other people improve their health, recovery, and performance. This conversation connects directly to several of The 10 Silent Wars: Mission — The 2nd Silent War: “What am I working toward now—and is it actually meaningful to me?” Direction — The 8th Silent War: “What comes after the mission I already completed?” Identity — The 1st Silent War: “Who am I when the role that once defined me changes?” Control — The 4th Silent War: “How do I respond when life does not go according to plan?” Legacy — The 10th Silent War: “Am I simply achieving more, or am I building something that helps other people?” Tony and Mike also dive into endurance, recovery, health, artificial intelligence, peptides, GLP-1 medications, and the growing role technology may play in helping people better understand their individual health and performance goals. Tony shares his personal experiences and perspectives while emphasizing something important: health decisions should not be driven by hype. Research, individual circumstances, and qualified medical guidance matter. But underneath all of it is a much bigger conversation about mission. Because you can be disciplined. You can be successful. You can accomplish difficult things. And still wake up wondering whether any of it actually matters to you. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why losing the structure of military service can make civilian purpose difficult to define How Tony translated military leadership and teamwork into entrepreneurship The difference between staying busy and having a meaningful mission Why setbacks can become turning points instead of endpoints How Tony approached completing an Ironman after a serious injury Why purpose can fundamentally change the way work feels Tony’s perspective on peptides, GLP-1s, recovery, and longevity Why research and professional medical guidance matter when exploring health interventions How AI may help personalize health, recovery, and performance decisions The question every veteran and high performer should ask before chasing the next goal If something in this conversation resonated with you, don’t immediately move on to the next thing. Ask yourself: What am I chasing now—and is it truly worth chasing? Start by connecting with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community and explore more conversations around The 10 Silent Wars: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ Watch the full conversations and subscribe to the Your Thoughts, Your Reality YouTube channel: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality To follow Tony Medrano and his work with Longevity Plan AI, search Tony Medrano on LinkedIn or LongevityPlan.AI. And when you’re ready to go deeper and create meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ Because your thoughts shape your reality… And sometimes the next mission isn’t about proving what you can do—it’s deciding what is truly worth doing next. #Mission #TheSecondSilentWar #MilitaryTransition #Veterans #Purpose #TonyMedrano #Ironman #Entrepreneurship #Longevity #HumanPerformance #Leadership #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E145
    July 31 · 29 min

    What Are You Leaving? The Silent War of Legacy with Nancy Jones

    Send us Fan Mail What do you want your life to stand for? Not someday. Not only after you are gone. But through the way you choose to live right now. In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Nancy Jones, a coach, speaker, leadership mentor, and Dual Elite Certified Neuroencoding Specialist with decades of experience in education, leadership development, and personal transformation. As the mother of two sons who have served as first responders—one as a wildland firefighter and the other as a police officer—Nancy understands that legacy is deeply personal. It is shaped through the example we set, the values we live, and the impact our daily choices have on the people watching us. Together, Mike and Nancy explore The Tenth Silent War: Legacy. Nancy shares a powerful idea from her leadership work: legacy is not simply something you leave behind—it is something you live. Every decision, interaction, belief, and action contributes to the story others experience through you. This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including: Legacy — “What am I building through the way I live today?” Mission — “What am I called to contribute?” Self-Worth — “Do I believe my life and purpose matter?” Identity — “Am I living authentically and in alignment with my values?” Fear — “Is rejection keeping me from becoming who I am meant to be?” Mike and Nancy discuss how leadership is demonstrated through integrity, authenticity, transparency, and whether your actions match the message you share. People are always learning from what leaders model—not only through what they say, but through how they show up when no one is applauding. Nancy also explains how childhood environments, role models, experiences, and repeated emotional patterns can shape the subconscious beliefs that influence how we lead, love, communicate, and make decisions. She describes several tools she uses in her work, including Neuroencoding, brain-health education, Body Code practices, hypnosis, and neuro-linguistic programming. Nancy explains how hypnosis can help people enter a relaxed, focused state where they can examine old patterns, release limiting beliefs, and begin creating a different internal story. One of the most common beliefs she encounters is: “I am not worthy.” That belief—along with the fear of rejection—can quietly prevent people from living with purpose, receiving support, pursuing meaningful work, or believing they are capable of creating something that matters. The first step toward change is awareness. Notice the thought. Examine it without judgment. Ask whether it is true. Then ask whether it is absolutely true—and what evidence actually supports it. From there, you can decide whether that belief still aligns with the person you are becoming and the legacy you want to live. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why legacy is something you live rather than something you leave How daily choices shape the impact you have on other people Why integrity and authenticity matter in leadership How subconscious beliefs influence behavior, relationships, and decisions Why worthiness and fear of rejection are common emotional barriers How sensory experiences can activate powerful memories and emotions Why awareness must come before meaningful transformation How to question beliefs that no longer support your purpose One simple action you can take today to begin living your legacy intentionally Take five quiet minutes today and ask yourself: What am I being called to do—and does the way I am living reflect that calling? Write down what you notice. You do not need to have the entire plan. You only need to become willing to listen and take the next intentional step. Start by connecting more deeply with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ Watch the full conversation and subscribe to the YouTube channel for more discussions about The 10 Silent Wars: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality And when you are ready to create meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ To connect with Nancy Jones or inquire about her coaching and speaking: 👉 crossroadscoaching11@gmail.com 👉 https://johncmaxwellgroup.com/NancyJones Because your thoughts shape your reality… And your legacy is being written through the way you choose to live today. #Legacy #Purpose #Leadership #LimitingBeliefs #SelfWorth #Identity #Mindset #PersonalGrowth #FirstResponders #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E153
    July 31 · 34 min

    Who Decides Your Worth? The Silent War of Self-Worth with Dominika Staniewicz

    Send us Fan Mail Who gets to decide what you are worth? For many veterans, leaders, and high performers, value becomes connected to results, recognition, productivity, and being the person everyone depends on. But when the role changes, the achievement loses its meaning, or success stops feeling fulfilling, a deeper question emerges: Do I still know my value when I am not proving it? In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Dominika Staniewicz—also known as Coach D—a leadership coach, speaker, Neuroencoding specialist, and ICF-certified coach who helps leaders strengthen self-awareness, confidence, personal alignment, and authentic decision-making. Together, Mike and Dominika explore The Sixth Silent War: Self-Worth. They examine why so many capable people confuse being valuable with being useful, productive, needed, or externally successful. Dominika shares how even personal development, education, and professional certifications can become another way to seek approval when the motivation underneath them is proving that we are enough. The real question is not simply what you are accomplishing. It is why you are pursuing it. Are you learning because it helps you serve more effectively—or because you hope another title will finally make you feel worthy? This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including: Self-Worth — “Do I know my value without constantly proving it?” Identity — “Who am I beneath my accomplishments, roles, and credentials?” Fear — “Am I making decisions from alignment or fear of rejection?” Control — “Am I leading with clarity, or trying to control everything to feel secure?” Mission — “Does my definition of success support the life I actually want?” Mike and Dominika also discuss why people often adopt definitions of success that do not truly belong to them. Publicly, success may be described through money, houses, cars, status, and recognition. Privately, many people define it through family, meaningful work, freedom, peace, health, and time with the people they love. When your public identity and private values do not match, the distance between them can quietly erode confidence and fulfillment. Dominika explains how unstable self-worth can also affect leadership. When leaders feel they must continuously prove themselves, they may become defensive, reactive, controlling, or overly focused on performance. By contrast, grounded leaders can ask for help, hear different perspectives, admit mistakes, and allow others to contribute their strengths. The conversation also explores fluid leadership—the idea that leadership can shift within a team based on who has the strongest skills for the task at hand. When people are trusted to make decisions and contribute meaningfully, they feel seen, valued, and connected to the outcome. This episode is not about abandoning ambition. It is about defining achievement on your own terms, giving yourself grace when you fall short, and remembering that your worth does not disappear when the outcome is imperfect. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why productivity, usefulness, and achievement are not the same as self-worth How to recognize whether growth is driven by service or outside validation Why your definition of success should reflect your values and current season of life How unstable self-worth can affect leadership, criticism, and decision-making Why asking for help strengthens both individuals and teams How grace and gratitude help separate worth from perfect performance Why keeping promises to yourself builds trust in who you are Simple evening practices that reinforce confidence and personal alignment How celebrating progress helps your brain recognize the identity you are building Before going to bed, Dominika recommends identifying two things you did well, remembering where you showed up in alignment with your values, and celebrating the moments when you kept your word to yourself. Your brain needs evidence of who you are becoming. Give it evidence that you are honest, capable, resilient, and worthy—not because everything went perfectly, but because you continued to show up. Start by connecting more deeply with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ Watch the full conversation and subscribe to the YouTube channel for more discussions about The 10 Silent Wars: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality Learn more about Dominika Staniewicz, her coaching, speaking, and leadership work: 👉 https://yourbraincoachd.com/ 👉 https://dominikastaniewicz.com/ And when you are ready to take the next step toward meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ Because your thoughts shape your reality… And your worth was never meant to be decided by the title, achievement, or approval of someone else. #SelfWorth #WhoDecidesYourWorth #DominikaStaniewicz #Leadership #Identity #AuthenticLeadership #PersonalGrowth #HighPerformers #Veterans #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E152
    July 24 · 32 min

    Take Control Back: Trauma, TMS, and the Fourth Silent War with Michelle Strigotte

    Send us Fan Mail Have you ever felt like life was happening to you instead of for you? For many veterans, first responders, and families, trauma does not remain in the past. It can change how the present feels—leaving someone anxious, disconnected, constantly on guard, or determined to control everything around them just to feel safe. In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Michelle Strigotte, a licensed professional counselor and founder of Serene Integrative Services in Post Falls, Idaho. Michelle grew up with an Army veteran who served in Vietnam and lived with severe PTSD. Witnessing how trauma can keep someone trapped in survival mode helped shape her commitment to whole-person mental health care for veterans, first responders, and people experiencing PTSD, depression, anxiety, and trauma. Together, Mike and Michelle explore The Fourth Silent War: Control. They discuss why the need for control is not always stubbornness or a personality flaw. For someone who has experienced trauma, controlling the environment can become a protective response—an attempt to prevent being hurt, surprised, or caught off guard again. The problem begins when the response that once helped someone survive starts making it difficult to rest, connect, trust, or feel safe in the present. This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including: Control — “Why does life feel chaotic, and what can I truly influence?” Emotional Armor — “What protected me then but keeps me disconnected now?” Connection — “How is what I am carrying affecting the people closest to me?” Identity — “Am I defined by what happened to me or by how I move forward?” Trust — “Can I believe that receiving support is safe?” Michelle also explains transcranial magnetic stimulation, commonly called TMS—a noninvasive prescription treatment that uses targeted magnetic pulses to stimulate areas of the brain involved in mood regulation. She discusses how the treatment is administered, why every person requires an individualized medical and psychiatric evaluation, and why TMS should be viewed as one part of a broader healing process rather than a cure or replacement for appropriate professional care. Mike and Michelle also explore the importance of therapy, nervous-system regulation, self-awareness, sleep, relationships, physical health, personal values, faith, and daily choices. Michelle shares what it means to treat the whole person instead of reducing someone to a diagnosis or symptom score. Most importantly, this episode challenges the belief that strength means suffering alone. Receiving help is not surrender. It is a courageous decision to stop allowing past danger to control the rest of your life. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why trauma can create an intense need for control How survival responses can continue after the danger has passed Why PTSD, anxiety, and depression are not signs of weakness What holistic, whole-person mental health care can include What TMS is and how it is administered Why individualized professional evaluation remains essential How healing can positively affect spouses, children, and relationships Why asking for help may be one of the strongest actions you can take One immediate step you can take when you feel exhausted or overwhelmed If something in this conversation resonated with you, do not immediately move on to the next thing. Pause and ask yourself why it affected you. Then choose one point of connection. Tell someone you trust that you are exhausted, overwhelmed, or need help taking the next step. Start by connecting more deeply with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ Watch the full conversation and subscribe to the YouTube channel for more discussions about The 10 Silent Wars: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality Learn more about Michelle and Serene Integrative Services: 👉 https://sereneintegrative.org/ And when you are ready to take the next step toward meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ Because your thoughts shape your reality… And taking control back does not mean controlling everything—it means choosing the next courageous step you can take today. #Control #TraumaRecovery #PTSD #TMS #MentalHealth #Veterans #FirstResponders #EmotionalArmor #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E147
    July 23 · 32 min

    What Is Really Stopping You? Fear, Autopilot, and the Ninth Silent War with Lauri Clontz

    Send us Fan Mail What is really stopping you from moving forward? For veterans, leaders, and high performers, fear does not always look like fear. Sometimes it looks like anger, avoidance, perfectionism, isolation, overworking, or shutting down before life has the chance to hurt us again. In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Lauri Clontz, founder of Start Driving Your Destiny, a transformational movement helping people stop living on autopilot and begin creating their lives with greater clarity, confidence, and purpose. After spending approximately 24 years climbing the corporate ladder, Lauri appeared highly successful from the outside. She led international teams, became the person everyone depended on, and built a reputation for always getting the job done. Underneath that performance, however, was a quieter battle driven by fear, perfectionism, self-doubt, and the belief that she always had to prove she was enough. Together, Mike and Lauri explore The Ninth Silent War: Fear. Lauri explains how fear can disguise itself as responsibility, excellence, productivity, or control. She shares how her need to perform kept her working 12- to 14-hour days, isolated her from the people she loved, and ultimately cost her one of the most important moments of her life: being present during her father’s final moments. That painful realization forced her to confront a difficult question: What are you working so hard for if the life you are building keeps taking you away from what matters most? This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including: Fear — “What am I avoiding, and what is really driving my behavior?” Self-Worth — “Why do I believe I must constantly perform to prove I am enough?” Control — “Am I intentionally directing my life, or reacting from old patterns?” Direction — “Is the way I am living taking me where I truly want to go?” Identity — “Who am I beneath the perfectionism, productivity, and expectations?” Lauri also explains how the brain develops protective patterns during pressure, rejection, trauma, and repeated stress. Those patterns may have helped us survive an earlier season of life, but they can eventually keep us trapped in automatic reactions that no longer serve who we are becoming. The answer is not to shame yourself for those patterns. It is to recognize them, name what is driving them, separate them from your identity, and begin choosing a different direction—one small action at a time. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why fear often appears as perfectionism, anger, avoidance, or overperformance How old survival patterns can quietly take control of your daily decisions The warning signs that you may be living on autopilot Why productivity does not always mean you are making meaningful progress How to identify what is truly driving your behavior Why small, imperfect actions can create lasting momentum How celebration helps reinforce healthier patterns and choices The first step you can take today to begin reclaiming control of your life Start by connecting more deeply with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ Watch the full conversation and subscribe to the YouTube channel for more discussions about The 10 Silent Wars: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality To connect with Lauri and learn more about her work, search Start Driving Your Destiny on Instagram and Facebook, or search Lauri Clontz on Facebook and LinkedIn. And when you are ready to take the next step toward meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ Because your thoughts shape your reality… And once you recognize what has been driving you, you can take back the keys and choose where your life goes next. #Fear #StartDrivingYourDestiny #LauriClontz #Perfectionism #Autopilot #SelfWorth #Direction #PersonalGrowth #Veterans #HighPerformers #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E149
    July 23 · 39 min

    Is Caring the Bridge? Connection, Consciousness, and the Courage to Care with Dr. Tony Nader

    Send us Fan Mail What if the answer to disconnection is not becoming tougher, more guarded, or more independent? What if the bridge back—to ourselves, to one another, and to a greater sense of meaning—is caring? In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Dr. Tony Nader, a medical doctor, neuroscientist, consciousness researcher, New York Times bestselling author, and global leader of the Transcendental Meditation organizations. Trained at Harvard Medical School with a Ph.D. in Brain and Cognitive Sciences from MIT, Dr. Nader has spent decades exploring consciousness, human potential, and the deeper principles that connect the mind, body, and world around us. His newest book, The Power of Caring, examines why caring is not merely an emotion or act of kindness—it is a transformative force capable of changing individuals, relationships, communities, and society. Together, Mike and Dr. Nader explore The Third Silent War: Connection. For veterans, first responders, leaders, and high performers, strength often means carrying the weight, solving the problem, and protecting everyone else. But that conditioning can also make it difficult to receive support, express vulnerability, or feel genuinely connected after the role, mission, or environment changes. This conversation challenges the belief that caring makes us weaker. Instead, Dr. Nader explains how caring can create greater strength, belonging, resilience, cooperation, and purpose—and why our ability to care for others begins with understanding the deeper connection we already share. This episode directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including: Connection — “Where do I belong, and how do I reconnect?” Emotional Armor — “Can I remain strong without shutting people out?” Trust — “Can I safely open myself to others again?” Mission — “How can caring become part of what I serve now?” Legacy — “What kind of impact will my presence have on others?” Mike and Dr. Nader also discuss the relationship between consciousness and human connection, why isolation can affect how we experience ourselves and the world, and how caring can help move people from separation toward greater unity. This is not a conversation about becoming passive or ignoring boundaries. It is about recognizing that real strength includes the ability to see, understand, and care—and that connection may be one of the most powerful resources we have for healing and moving forward. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why caring should be viewed as a strength rather than a weakness How consciousness influences the way we experience connection Why people can feel isolated even when surrounded by others How emotional armor can protect us while also creating distance Why caring for yourself and caring for others are deeply connected How greater connection can support resilience, meaning, and purpose What individuals can do to create a more caring world Start by connecting more deeply with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ Watch the full conversation and subscribe to the YouTube channel for more discussions about The 10 Silent Wars: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality Learn more about Dr. Tony Nader and The Power of Caring: 👉 https://www.thepowerofcaringbook.com/ And when you are ready to take the next step toward meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ Because your thoughts shape your reality… And caring may be the bridge that brings us back to one another. #Connection #ThePowerOfCaring #TonyNader #Consciousness #Belonging #EmotionalArmor #Veterans #FirstResponders #PersonalGrowth #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E144
    July 21 · 33 min

    Can Healing Become Your Mission? The Silent War of Mission with Rebecca McCord

    Send us Fan Mail What are you working toward now? For many veterans, families, first responders, and high performers, the next mission isn't about accomplishing more. Sometimes... The mission begins with healing. In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Rebecca McCord, a vagus nerve activation and gut health coach whose mission is helping people improve their mental and physical well-being by supporting the body's natural ability to heal. Inspired by her grandfather's service during World War II, Rebecca has become passionate about helping veterans and others struggling with PTSD, chronic stress, nervous system dysregulation, and the long-term effects of living in survival mode. Together, Mike and Rebecca explore The Second Silent War: Mission. They discuss why so many people focus on pushing through pain instead of understanding what their bodies are trying to communicate. Rebecca explains the powerful connection between the nervous system, gut health, chronic stress, inflammation, emotional wellness, and mental clarity—and why true healing often starts with creating safety within the body. This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including: Mission – "What if my next mission is healing?" Control – "What small choices can I make to help my body recover?" Identity – "Who am I when I stop living in survival mode?" Direction – "What if healing is the next step forward?" Emotional Armor – "What has my body been carrying that my mind hasn't acknowledged?" Rebecca shares practical ways to begin calming the nervous system, the importance of vagus nerve health, why gut health affects mental wellness, and how simple daily habits can help people reclaim peace, energy, and purpose. This episode isn't about finding another quick fix. It's about understanding that your body was designed to heal—and sometimes the greatest mission you'll ever take on is giving yourself permission to begin. In this episode, you'll learn: How chronic stress affects both the brain and the body Why vagus nerve health plays a major role in emotional regulation The connection between gut health, inflammation, and mental wellness Why healing isn't weakness—it's preparation for your next mission Simple daily practices that help regulate your nervous system How caring for your body creates greater clarity, resilience, and purpose If this episode resonated with you, don't keep doing this alone. There's a reason this conversation connected with you. Start by connecting deeper with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ You can also watch and subscribe on YouTube to continue these conversations each week: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality And if you're ready to take the next step toward creating lasting change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ Because your thoughts shape your reality… And sometimes the greatest mission isn't proving how strong you are—it's allowing yourself to heal. #Mission #Healing #GutHealth #VagusNerve #MentalHealth #Veterans #MilitaryTransition #PTSD #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E151
    July 20 · 34 min

    Is Your Health Helping Your Mission? The Silent War of Mission with Ruth Petitt

    Send us Fan Mail What are you working toward now? And is your health helping you get there… or holding you back? For many veterans, leaders, and high performers, health becomes something we promise ourselves we'll focus on later—after the work is done, after the mission is complete, after everyone else has been taken care of. But what if taking care of yourself isn't a distraction from your mission? What if it's what makes your mission possible? In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Ruth Petitt, a U.S. Navy veteran, health and wellness advocate, and coach who transformed her own life after years of unhealthy habits, yo-yo dieting, and believing lasting change wasn't possible. Through strength training, consistency, and a commitment to changing her lifestyle—not just chasing another diet—Ruth discovered that real health is about far more than appearance. It's about having the energy, resilience, confidence, and discipline to live the life you're called to live. Together, Mike and Ruth explore The Second Silent War: Mission. They discuss why so many people put their health at the bottom of the priority list, how physical health influences mental resilience, and why building a stronger body often creates a stronger mindset. Ruth shares her own journey from struggling with unhealthy habits to discovering that sustainable transformation comes from consistency, not perfection. This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including: Mission – "Is my daily life supporting what I'm trying to accomplish?" Control – "What choices can I make today that move me forward?" Self-Worth – "Do I believe I'm worth investing in?" Direction – "What habits are shaping the future I'm creating?" Identity – "Am I becoming the person my mission requires?" This episode isn't about chasing the perfect body. It's about building the health, strength, and resilience needed to fulfill the purpose you've been given. In this episode, you'll learn: Why your health is directly connected to your mission The difference between temporary diets and lasting lifestyle change How consistency creates sustainable transformation Why strength training builds more than physical strength How your daily habits shape your future Why investing in your health is one of the greatest investments you can make in your purpose If this episode resonated with you, don't keep doing this alone. There's a reason this conversation connected with you. Start by connecting deeper with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ You can also watch and subscribe on YouTube to continue these conversations each week: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality And if you're ready to take the next step toward creating lasting change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ Because your thoughts shape your reality… And the mission you're called to fulfill begins with taking care of the person who's meant to carry it. #Mission #Health #Wellness #Veterans #MilitaryTransition #Leadership #Mindset #HighPerformance #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E150
    July 16 · 32 min

    The Next Step Changes Everything: Winning the Silent War of Direction with Christine Belviy Keller

    Send us Fan Mail Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by a big goal that you didn't know where to start? For many veterans, leaders, women, and high performers, the pressure to have the entire plan figured out becomes the very thing that keeps them from taking the first step. In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Christine Belviy Keller, speaker, coach, and advocate for intentional living, whose passion is helping people move beyond fear, uncertainty, and self-doubt by focusing on what they can do today—not someday. Together, Mike and Christine explore The Eighth Silent War: Direction. They discuss why so many people become trapped waiting for certainty, believing they need the complete roadmap before taking action. Christine shares how growth isn't found by knowing every answer—it's built one decision, one action, and one courageous next step at a time. This conversation is a reminder that your future isn't created by giant leaps. It's created by consistently moving forward, even when the destination isn't completely clear. This episode directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including: Direction – "How do I move forward when I can't see the whole path?" Fear – "What if I make the wrong decision?" Identity – "Who am I becoming through the choices I make today?" Control – "What can I control right now?" Mission – "What's the next meaningful step toward the life I want to build?" Christine shares practical wisdom on overcoming overwhelm, building confidence through action, and trusting that clarity often comes after movement—not before it. Whether you're transitioning from military service, changing careers, rebuilding after adversity, or simply trying to discover what's next, this conversation offers a powerful reminder that progress begins with one decision. In this episode, you'll learn: Why waiting for certainty often creates paralysis How taking one small step builds confidence and momentum Why action creates clarity—not the other way around How to overcome fear of making the wrong decision Why consistency matters more than perfection How focusing on today's next step transforms your future If this episode resonated with you, don't keep doing this alone. There's a reason this conversation connected with you. Start by connecting deeper with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ You can also watch and subscribe on YouTube to continue these conversations each week: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality And if you're ready to take the next step toward creating lasting change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ Because your thoughts shape your reality… And every extraordinary journey begins with one courageous next step. #Direction #TakeTheNextStep #PersonalGrowth #Leadership #Mindset #Veterans #MilitaryTransition #HighPerformance #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E146
    July 1 · 33 min

    Strength Asks for Help | Omar Ritter on Emotional Armor, PTSD & The Seventh Silent War

    Send us Fan Mail What if the strongest thing you could ever do... is admit you're not okay? For many veterans, leaders, first responders, and high performers, strength becomes the armor they wear. They keep leading, keep producing, keep showing up for everyone else—while silently carrying battles no one else can see. But eventually, the weight of that armor becomes too heavy to carry alone. In this powerful episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Mike Cole sits down with Omar Ritter—West Point graduate, combat veteran, Bronze Star recipient, entrepreneur, and former billion-dollar CFO—to explore Emotional Armor, the Seventh Silent War. Omar shares his deeply personal journey through combat, PTSD, leadership, perfectionism, comparison, and the pressure of always appearing strong. He opens up about how hiding behind achievement and a "tough exterior" nearly cost him everything, and why true resilience isn't built by suffering in silence—it's built through vulnerability, gratitude, connection, and having the courage to ask for help. Together, Mike and Omar challenge the belief that strength means carrying every burden alone. Instead, they reveal that authentic leadership begins when we're willing to take off the mask, confront what's really happening beneath the surface, and allow others to walk alongside us. This episode connects directly to The 10 Silent Wars, particularly: • Emotional Armor – Where am I hiding behind strength instead of healing? • Self-Worth – Am I trying to prove my value through achievement and performance? • Identity – Who am I when I stop pretending everything is okay? Whether you're transitioning from military service, leading a team, building a business, or simply carrying more than anyone realizes, this conversation is a powerful reminder that resilience isn't the absence of struggle—it's the willingness to face it honestly. If this episode impacted you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need permission to put down the armor they've been carrying. Website: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality Learn more about Mike Cole & Empower Performance Strategies: https://EmpowerPerformanceStrategies.com #YourThoughtsYourReality #10SilentWars #EmotionalArmor #MentalHealth #PTSD #Veterans #VeteranTransition #Leadership #Resilience #HighPerformance #SelfWorth #PersonalGrowth #Mindset #Healing Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E148
    July 1 · 32 min

    Do You Still Matter Without the Role? | Aaron Lloyd on Self-Worth, Identity & The Sixth Silent War

    Send us Fan Mail Who are you when the title is gone, the uniform comes off, or the role you've always identified with no longer defines you? For many veterans, leaders, entrepreneurs, and high performers, self-worth quietly becomes tied to what they do instead of who they are. When that chapter ends, it can leave behind one of life's most difficult questions: Do I still matter? In this powerful episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Mike Cole sits down with Aaron Lloyd to explore Self-Worth—the Sixth Silent War. Together, they unpack how identity can become attached to achievement, performance, and external validation, and why true confidence begins by rebuilding who you believe you are from the inside out. Aaron shares his personal journey of transformation, the mindset shifts that helped him redefine himself, and practical strategies for rewiring limiting beliefs, embracing authenticity, and becoming the person your future requires. This conversation is a reminder that your value has never been determined by a title, paycheck, rank, or accomplishment—it has always been inherent. This episode connects directly to The 10 Silent Wars, particularly: • Self-Worth – Do I still matter without the role? • Identity – Who am I beyond the labels I've carried? • Direction – How do I intentionally build the next version of myself? Whether you're transitioning from military service, changing careers, overcoming adversity, or simply questioning your place in the world, this conversation will challenge you to stop measuring your worth by what you do and start embracing who you are becoming. If this episode impacted you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs this message today. Website: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality Learn more about Mike Cole & Empower Performance Strategies: https://EmpowerPerformanceStrategies.com #YourThoughtsYourReality #10SilentWars #SelfWorth #Identity #Veterans #VeteranTransition #HighPerformance #PersonalGrowth #Mindset #Resilience #MentalHealth #Leadership #Purpose #Transformation Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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  • S2 · E143
    June 9 · 34 min

    Not the Label: Identity, Body Image, and Reconnecting with Who You Really Are with Yayoi Komiyama

    Send us Fan Mail Who are you without the label? Not the role. Not the title. Not the body image story. Not the version of yourself you’ve been trying so hard to maintain. In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Yayoi Komiyama, founder of Brain to Belly Coaching, Dual Elite Neuroencoding Specialist, life transformation strategist, brain health trainer, best-selling author, and host of the podcast I’ll Start on Monday. Yayoi brings more than 20 years of experience in the wellness industry and helps people transform their relationship with food, body image, self-worth, and identity through her Brain to Belly coaching method. Together, Mike and Yayoi explore one of the deepest battles within The 10 Silent Wars: Identity. Yayoi opens up about her own journey with body image, food, self-sabotage, eating disorder recovery, and the long process of learning to love and accept herself beyond the labels, expectations, and old stories she had carried for years. They discuss how identity can become shaped by childhood experiences, cultural expectations, comparison, family roles, body image, and the need to belong. Yayoi shares how food became comfort early in life, how old beliefs affected her relationship with herself, and how real change began when she stopped fighting her body and started changing the way she saw herself. This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including: Identity – “Who am I beyond the label?” Self-Worth – “Do I believe I am enough as I am?” Emotional Armor – “What have I used to protect or comfort myself?” Control – “Why do I keep repeating patterns I don’t want?” Fear – “What happens if I finally let go of the old story?” This episode is not about shame. It is not about judgment. It is not about chasing another quick fix. It is about understanding the connection between the brain, the body, and the way you see yourself—so you can begin creating a healthier, more honest relationship with who you really are. Yayoi also shares simple tools for interrupting negative thought patterns, including awareness, “cancel cancel,” smiling, changing your physical state, and using empowering identity statements to help create new neural pathways. If you have ever struggled with body image, self-sabotage, food, identity, or the feeling that you are not enough, this conversation will challenge you to look beneath the label and reconnect with the truth of who you are. In this episode, you’ll learn: How identity can become tied to body image, food, and old stories Why food can become a source of comfort, control, or emotional support How childhood experiences and labels can shape the way you see yourself Why self-sabotage is often connected to identity and self-worth How to interrupt negative thought patterns before they take over Why loving yourself is not weakness—it is part of real transformation How to begin reconnecting with who you are beyond the label If this episode resonated with you, don’t keep doing this alone. There’s a reason this hit—and it’s worth paying attention to. Start by connecting deeper with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community: 👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/ You can also watch and subscribe on YouTube to stay connected each week: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality To learn more about Yayoi’s work, Brain to Belly Coaching, or her podcast I’ll Start on Monday: 👉 https://braintobellycoaching.com/ And if you’re ready to take it a step further and create real change in your mindset, identity, and direction: 👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/ Because your thoughts shape your reality… And when you stop living as the label, you can start becoming the truth of who you are. #Identity #SelfWorth #BodyImage #Mindset #PersonalGrowth #Neuroencoding #SelfSabotage #BrainHealth #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at: https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service. K-12 Education Insights: Helping Parents of Color Build Strong Family-School Partnerships Highlighting issues, tactics, and trends affecting POC in K–12 public schools. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show

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Showing 1–20 of 29 episodes