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Your Stupid Minds

Nick and Chris review a variety of camp, B, genre, and otherwise bad movies.

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#282
August 22 · 1 hr 36 min
282 - Molly
Your Stupid Minds returns from a brief summer sojourn to cover a movie that MGM had so little faith in, it premiered as an in-flight movie a month before theaters. It's 1999's Molly, starring Elisabeth Shue, Aaron Eckhart, Jill Hennessy, and Thomas Jane. Molly (Shue) is a woman with what seems to be autism, but kind of presents as whatever the movie needs it to do. The institution where she's lived for decades is closing down, so her brother Buck (Eckhart) must take her home to his trendy '90s Venice Beach loft. He considers this a huge imposition, and after she ruins his big advertising presentation, he's determined to "fix" her. A new institution has developed an experimental surgery. They can't diagnose her exact condition, but they sure can try to fix it! The cause of autism, as this movie would assume, is a red blob in her brain. If they can make the blob smaller, then her brain can work better, or something. With the help of another intellectually disabled orderly from her old institution Sam (Jane), as well as Drs. Brookes (Hennessy) and Trehare (Elizabeth Mitchell), the procedure is a success and Molly begins speaking and performing new tasks. She embraces her manic pixie dream girl status to start dating Sam, go to a Dodgers game, crash a cool vampire production of Romeo and Juliet, and generally start enjoying life. But, since we are pulling a lot of the plot from Flowers for Algernon, something is wrong and she begins regressing. Are they able to reverse the regression? Can Buck stop being such a jerk? Will we all learn valuable lessons about ability and disability, family, and accepting yourself? You'll have to listen to find out!
#281
July 24 · 1 hr 40 min
281 - Cop & ½
Your Stupid Minds fulfills the Siskel and Ebert prophecy and reviews 1993's Cop & ½ (or Cop and a Half, if you prefer English). Starring Burt Reynolds, Norman D. Holden II, Ruby Dee, and Ray Sharkey. Directed by Henry Winkler. Devon Butler (Golden) is an 8-year-old kid who's obsessed with being a cop. When he witnesses a mob execution, he negotiates the exchange of evidence for being a police officer for one day. The stupid chief assigns the babysitting role to the oldest and crankiest guy on the force: Nick McKenna (Reynolds). The second act devotes its time mostly in search of a plot. Mob leader Vinnie Fountain (Sharkey) comes to Devon's home and forces the child into witness protection (i.e. Nick's disgusting apartment). Devon pulls over his jerk principal for speeding. A pair of homicidal teenage bullies menace an elementary school hoping to give Devon a swirly at a moment's notice. Nick has a bar fight with a street tough named Bobo. All standard stuff. Eventually the movie settles on a child endangerment angle and Nick must rescue Devon from the mob. Is Nick up to the task? Will there be a boat chase? Was this worse than Carnosaur? You'll have to listen to find out!
#280
July 11 · 1 hr 25 min
280 - Carnosaur
Your Stupid Minds transitions seamlessly from Tammy and the T-Rex to the Roger Corman quickie dino picture Carnosaur, released mere weeks before Jurassic Park. This is the first in a double feature to answer the eternal question posed by Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert: Carnosaur or Cop and a Half. Which is better? Dr. Jane Tiptree (Diane Ladd, yes, Laura Dern's mom) is an evil scientist who attempts to achieve the impossible dream we've all pondered from time to time: can a viral bioweapon developed from genetically modified chickens impregnate all women on the planet with dinosaur embryos in order to replace the human race? She puts her plan into action in the small town of Climax, Nevada. Everyone starts getting sick with a high fever, but it's only the women who give birth to dinosaurs (and die in the process). The dino puppets emerge and immediately begin murdering everyone, mostly local yokels such as "Slim" Friar (Clint Howard, yes, Bryce Dallas Howard's uncle) and a group of tree-hugging hippies protesting environmental destruction. Sheriff Fowler (Harrison Page) and "Doc" Smith (Raphael Sbarge) all try to solve the mystery. Meanwhile, the government swoops in hell-bent on containing the damage, so guys in haz-mat suits blast every infected person with M-16s. Can they find a cure? No. Even Tiptree puts her money where her mouth is and fatally delivers her own dino baby. Can they contain the virus? Also unclear, but I'm going to say no. But at least we get to see some fun dino puppets roaming around. And some locals kill a T-Rex with a forklift. So that's cool. As mentioned above, Siskel and Ebert had a passionate disagreement over Carnosaur. Siskel gave it a thumbs up while Ebert called it one of the worst of the year. Inversely, the next episode's movie, Cop and a Half, had the opposite result. This disagreement comes up repeatedly throughout their 1993 season.
#279
June 26 · 1 hr 32 min
279 - Tammy and the T-Rex
It's a tale as old as time. Boy meets girl. Girl's jealous ex-boyfriend beats up boy. Ex-boyfriend leaves boy in animal sanctuary. Boy is mauled by lion. Mad scientist puts boy's brain into robotic Tyrannosaurus rex. It's 1994's Tammy and the T-Rex, starring Denise Richards, Paul Walker, and George Pilgrim. As mentioned above, Tammy (Richards) and Michael (Walker) and are love. But Tammy's much older dirtbag boyfriend Billy (Pilgrim) (so it goes) and his gang of loyal hoodlums won't stop terrorizing them. After a terrifying standoff where the teenager and adult man refuse to let go of each others' genitals, Billy eventually gets the drop on Michael and causes him a vicious mauling. Meanwhile, evil doctor Dr. Wachenstein (Terry Kiser) and his super team of a weird German woman, tiny nerd, and muscle man have built a robot dinosaur. But the doctor doesn't want it to have a computer brain. He wants a real brain in this thing. So he kidnaps Michael's comatose body, and through a brain extraction that is eerily reminiscent of a Treehouse of Horror segment, the T-rex comes to life. After smushing the nerd and the muscle man, T-Rex Michael seeks revenge on Billy and his minions. He makes quick work of them and then the rest of the movie tries to figure out what it's about. Mostly car chases and shoot-outs with cops.
#278
June 12 · 1 hr 32 min
278 - Dream a Little Dream 2
We've done Corey Feldman. We've done Corey Haim. But we've never done one with both. We end that drought today with 1995's Dream a Little Dream 2, also starring Robyn Lively, Stacie Randall, and Robert Costanzo. After the events of the first film, which is I guess a body swap picture involving transcendental meditation in Cleveland, Bobby Keller (Feldman) and Dinger Holfield (Haim) are living in Los Angeles with Dinger's previously unseen sister Rachel (Lively). The two are mailed two pairs of sunglasses, and after a surprisingly short investigation, Rachel determines these are magic sunglasses wherein the wearer of one does whatever the other wearer desires. Instead of an extended second act of shenanigans involving the sunglasses, we are instead treated to a smattering of Lynchian dream sequences and noir-like intrigue involving femme fatale Lena Drago (Randall), who somehow is aware of the existence of the magic sunglasses and is doing everything in her power to get her hands on them. There is also a greasy hitman type guy also trying to get them. Coleman Ettinger (not in this movie, but played by Jason Robards in the last one) is trying to warn the Coreys about the dangers ahead through their weird dreams. Dinger is arrested in the sunglasses shop, so it's up to Bobby and Rachel to unravel this plot. They run up and down the same hotel hallway for half an hour, and then attempt to break up the sale of the sunglasses to stereotypical mobster Mr. McVie (Costanzo, who played Harvey Bullock in Batman: TAS). Can they stop the sale? Can Bobby overcome the power of the sunglasses and avoid shooting Rachel? Why was Haim mostly banished from the second half? Why is Corey Feldman a blues singer? You'll have to listen to find out!
#277
May 16 · 1 hr 27 min
277 - Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Your Stupid Minds covers FOX's backdoor pilot for a show all about Marvel's 92nd favorite character. The problem being that it came in fourth in the ratings and was never picked up as a series. It's 1998's Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. Starring David Hasselhoff, Lisa Rinna, Sandra Hess, and Ron Canada. After HYDRA kills Clay Quartermain in a raid on a S.H.I.E.L.D. facility, Nick Fury (Hasselhoff) is brought back on after being unceremoniously kicked out five years earlier for being too cool. He abandons the gold mine he's hiding out in for the last half decade and gets back to work. Fury reunites with his former lover and future series love interest that never was Contessa Valentina 'Val' de Allegro Fontaine (Rinna), some nerd Alexander Pierce (Neil Roberts, and yes that Alexander Pierce from Winter Soldier, but British for some reason), and a psychic and get to work stopping HYDRA. Andrea Von Strucker (Hess) has reignited her frozen father's dream of HYDRA world domination and Nazi-style terrorism, and is also Viper. She gets the drop on Fury, and drops some tree frog poison onto his lips via her lips. He has 48 hours to live, but Fury ignores tech genius Gabriel Jones's (Canada) advice of hanging out in the infirmary until he dies, and goes on a quest to save his own life instead by extracting Andrea's blood for an antidote. HYDRA is also planning to shoot deadly virus missiles in the general direction of the World Trade Center (collar tug) so they have to stop that too. Screenwriter David S. Goyer borrows a story idea he'll have 14 years later in The Dark Knight Rises and Val tracks a series of dummy trucks in the hopes of finding the one with the real virus bomb. Fury invades the HYDRA compound in New Jersey and is immediately captured, but not before stashing his robot doppelgänger somewhere in an unfilmed scene. He uses said doppelgänger to fake his own death long enough to capture Andrea and extract her blood (they also thwart the missile launch), but she escapes with her dad's frozen corpse pod that she apparently strapped rockets to. Luckily, all these loose ends are ready to tie up in FOX's new Nick Fury series that everyone will love and definitely wouldn't have moved around the schedule three times before being unceremoniously canceled after six episodes.
#276
May 2 · 1 hr 30 min
276 - George of the Jungle 2
We cover direct to video sequel to moderate Disney hit. Brendan Fraser say no to come back. No Leslie Mann either. Thomas Haden Church say yes. Career in toilet after Wings before Sideways. It George of the Jungle 2. From 2003. Six years after the first film, George (now played by Christopher Showerman, which sounds like an alias someone came up with extemporaneously while in a locker room) and Ursula (now played by Julie Benz) have a five-year-old son George Jr. (played by an obviously way older than five Angus T. Jones). George balances home life with his duties as King of the Jungle. His role at the top spot is challenged by Mean Lion (Michael Clarke Duncan). Meanwhile George's evil mother-in-law Beatrice (Christina Pickles) and Ursula's evil ex Lyle Van de Groot (Church) are plotting to seize Ape Island by stealing the deed from George's underwear. Ape (John Cleese) is working off gambling debts as a lounge singer. Also, Beatrice uses a Vegas hypnotist to mind control Ursula into getting back together with Van de Groot. Will George save his family? Will be still be King of the Jungle? Will George Jr. ever enjoy swinging (a plot element we mostly missed)? Will Thomas Haden Church get an atomic wedgie from the hand of God? What abacus was used to generate the CGI effects? You'll just have to listen to find out! Also, a warning to parents: George gets hurt into crashes tree, George's mouth wood tree then falls into ground. (no blood and injuries appearances)
#274
April 17 · 1 hr 16 min
275 - The Octagon
Your Stupid Minds is back! Chuck Norris uses his iron leg to battle ninjas, mercenaries, and deceptive women in the low budget classic The Octagon! Strap yourself in for the best approximation of the plot we could put together. Scott James (Chuck Norris) is a famous martial artist who has a secret past as a ninja. Or just trained as a ninja. He has an evil Japanese brother Seikura (Tadashi Yamashita) who got kicked out of ninja school and is now training terrorists against their will in the art of ninja. Scott goes on a date with a woman and she's killed by ninjas. He goes on a quest to find the ninjas and his evil brother. Meanwhile his misogynist friend A.J. (Art Hindle) is desperately searching for a reason for his character to be in this movie. He's horning in on Scott's dates and swearing revenge on ninjas for the flimsiest of reasons. Scott visits McCarn (Lee Van Cleef) a murderous mercenary, but a good one. Scott uses him to try to find Doggo (Kurt Grayson) who has some connection to the ninjas. Scott tries to become a mercenary but fails. Luckily that dangling plotline is recovered when Doggo tries to kill him. Scott finds another beautiful woman on the side of the road, Justine Wentworth (Karen Carlson). Scott has a structured settlement and he needs cash now, so this is the perfect woman for him. He helps Justine with her car and she tries to seduce him but he's too cool. She's also trying to betray him, or trick him, or something? Anyway, A.J. dates her for a while and then she's killed by ninjas. A.J. swears revenge on the ninjas but then is kidnapped by the ninjas. Scott finds a third woman who is ninja proof and they're off to kill the ninjas. He does so and saves A.J. By the way, the Octagon is some sort of obstacle course with ninjas in it. There's also some guy named Tibor but I forget what he does aside from sell furs.
#274
March 7 · 1 hr 37 min
274 - 3 Ninjas
It's our fourth and final foray into the 3 Ninjas franchise! We have finally completed the series in reverse chronological order by covering the original film. It's 1992's 3 Ninjas, starring Michael Treanor, Max Elliott Slade, Chad Power, and Victor Wong. Rocky (Treanor), Colt (Slade), and Tum Tum (Power) are three normal Southern Californian kids except for one small difference: they spend their summers learning the deadly art of ninjutsu with their Grandpa Mori (Wong). Their training looks suspiciously like karate, and Grandpa's lessons seems slightly contradictory ("Ninjas never fight those weaker than them," "Don't fight an opponent you can't beat.") but that's neither here nor there. Meanwhile, the boys' father (Alan McRae) is an FBI agent trying to catch all around bad guy Snyder (Rand Kingsley). Their lives intersect through Snyder's connection to Grandpa Mori, who trained Snyder in the ninja arts, which he now uses for evil. The 3 ninjas return to their wildfire kindling home so Rocky can awkwardly flirt with his girlfriend/next door neighbor Emily (Kate Sargeant) and battle it out with a cadre of stereotypical bullies on the basketball court. A trio of bumbling surfer stereotypes break into their house for some Home Alone style hijinks and then the kids are kidnapped. Can the boys escape the vast ship that is their prison? Will Grandpa save them in time? Does a goon get explosive diarrhea? You'll have to listen to find out!
#273
February 20 · 1 hr 39 min
273 - Guns
Your Stupid Minds returns to the world of Andy Sidaris in 1990's Guns, with all your favorite Sidaris tropes: babes, hunks, Hawaii, remote control boats, regular sized boats, backwards planes, rocket launchers, motorcycles inside vans, poor marksmanship, helicopters, and so on. Starring Dona Speir, Erik Estrada, Phyllis Davis, Danny Trejo, Amon-Ra St. Brown's dad, and about 14,000 other people. With the return of special guest Nico Mesa! International criminal the Jack of Diamonds (Estrada) concocts a convoluted plan to kill off secret agent Donna Hamilton's (Speir) friends to distract her from noticing a Chinese gun smuggling operation he's at the center of (you know they're Chinese guns because each one has a red star sticker printed off of their home inkjet printer). Despite his cross-dressing hitmen killing the wrong person, the plan works and Donna and her team of bodacious 80s agents descend on Las Vegas (and, when they feel like it, Lake Havasu City, Arizona) to shoot guys with bazookas, copulate on top of motorcycles, and rotate through a menagerie of exotic vehicles to catch this bad guy who they haven't even identified. Also, Jack kidnaps ADA Kathryn Hamilton (Davis), who happens to be... Donna's mom? Will Donna stop the bad guy? Will she save her mom? Will she blow up Erik Estrada with four bazooka blasts? Is there any of Danny Trejo's famous dummy work? You'll have to listen to find out!
#272
February 6 · 1 hr 32 min
272 - A Line of Fire
In his attempt to distance himself from the increasingly tedious God's Not Dead franchise, David A.R. White tries out a standard action thriller with the finest washed up actors Hollywood has to offer. It's 2025's A Line of Fire, starring Cuba Gooding Jr., Jason Patric, Katrina Bowden, and Scott Baio. Cash (White) is a retired FBI agent, widower, great dad, fantastic cook, and patriot with amazing hair who everyone likes and is cool. When his former partner is gunned down at a yacht party by GTA Online maniacs on WaveRunners, her niece Jamie (Bowden) retreats to a safe house and calls Cash for help. He takes time out of being the greatest dad and man who's ever lived to save her, gunning down meaty goons with CGI muzzle flashes and computer squibs. Despite being the greatest FBI agent to ever live and smartest man alive, he seems unconcerned that every time he calls his former FBI buddies for help, his plans are thwarted by the homicidal drug cartel. Josef (Patric) knows his every move: casting his chess piece acolytes across the board via Facetime from his Southern California McMansion. Meanwhile, Javier (Gooding Jr.) traipses around his chaste fully-clothed Miami strip club, fielding Zoom calls for his drug empire over the sound of quiet club music. Can Cash save Jamie and his daughters (who are of course kidnapped) in time? Can he trust his former FBI colleagues, such as the Nick Offerman-y Rocco (Tommy Snider) or the fashion homunculus Joan Rycker (Eve Richards, whose acting is so bad it makes me question the order of the universe)? You'll have to listen to find out!
#271
January 23 · 1 hr 10 min
271 - Red Sonja (2025)
Did you know they made a Red Sonja remake in 2025? You didn't? Well they did. Here it is. It's 2025's Red Sonja, starring Matilda Lutz, Robert Sheehan, and Wallis Day. Red Sonja (Lutz) is a young Hyrkanian girl whose village is destroyed by some evil emperor. She spends the next 20 years or so wandering around in the woods with her horse, completely incurious of the apparently vast diaspora of her people across the land. Eventually the new emperor Draygan (Sheehan) sends some guys to kill fantasy forest rhinos. Red Sonja gets mad and starts a fight with his Mercy Graves style henchwoman (slash lover? Unclear) Annisia (Day). Red Sonja loses and is imprisoned inside a little mini-Gladiator ripoff movie in the middle of this movie. When he was young, Draygan stole half of the holy book of the Hyrkanian people, using its knowledge of power orbs, flamethrowers, and RobCo brain-computer interface chips to escape slavery and ascend to emperor. Red Sonja fights her way out of gladiatorial bondage, still keeping her signature chainmail bikini so online weirdos don't get mad at the movie. Can she save the land and avenge her people? Is Draygan really so bad? And what's in the second half of the holy book? Maybe like a nine-bolted crossbow or a Super Soaker that shoots acid? Who knows! You'll have to listen to find out.
#270
January 9 · 1 hr 44 min
270 - Man of the House
Your Stupid Minds is back in 2026 with 1995's Man of the House, part of a crop of mid-90s Disney live action comedies about how hard it is to be a father or whatever. Starring Chevy Chase, Farrah Fawcett, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and George Wendt. After Ben's (JTT) father left the family years ago, he has formed a close bond with his mother Sandy (Fawcett) and is wary of her new fiancé, U.S. Attorney Jack (Chase). In an effort to bond with his future stepson, Jack joins the Indian Guides and befriends a bunch of weirdos, including pack (or whatever, I only know Boy Scout terms) leader Chet (Wendt). Eventually, through the ancient art of being corny as hell, Jack slowly grows a connection with Ben and cracks his cool Six Flags appareled 90s exterior. Meanwhile in a completely different movie, Jack has put away a stereotypical mob guy in prison for fifty years and the bumbling mobster son has vowed revenge. In the climactic finale, the mob son and his doofy capos traipse around the woods of the Pacific Northwest trying to assassinate Clark Griswold like they're in that Pine Barrens episode of The Sopranos. Since this is a Disney family comedy, spoiler alert, Chevy Chase isn't assassinated by mobsters.
#269
Dec 12, 2025 · 1 hr 15 min
269 - Christmas Bedtime Stories
Per holiday tradition, Your Stupid Minds returns with another Hallmark Christmas movie, one that is so insulting not even Hallmark Christmas movie fans like it. It's 2022's Christmas Bedtime Stories, starring Erin Cahill, Steve Lund, and Charlie Weber. Danielle (Cahill) is a war widow mother whose perfect Marine husband was killed in combat three years prior. Christmas is coming up and, since all major events in her life revolve around Christmas, she's feeling the loss especially hard. These feelings are exacerbated when her chaste Ken doll boyfriend Pierce (Lund) proposes. She says yes, but then starts to see some undeniable signs of her dead husband: lights flickering, a man in a military town wearing a Marine Corps jacket, snow in Virginia in late December. Undeniable. The movie putters along with 50 different conversations of people coming up to people and asking "heeeyyyy, are you okay?" Danielle talks to her sister and friend (or are these the same person?) who materialize in her living room with a glass of Sauvignon Blanc whenever she needs to talk. Meanwhile, her daughter Audrey (Alice Comer) has some consternation over the upcoming father-daughter dance, which takes place at school smack dab in the middle of winter break and seems like a particularly cruel event to host in a military town, where presumably half of the fathers are currently on deployment. A classmate is bullying Audrey for having a dead dad, but since this is a Hallmark movie this confrontation occurs off screen to avoid any unnecessary intrigue or drama. Who will take her to the father-daughter dance? Does she even really care that much? After this relatively rote romp through familiar Hallmark tropes, the movie completely nukes all of the difficult themes it was attempting to address with an ending so stupid it actually made me like the movie a lot more. To find out what it is you'll just have to listen (or watch the movie, I guess). Also Nancy Grace co-wrote this. What's up with that?
#268
Nov 28, 2025 · 1 hr 37 min
268 - Snow White (2025)
Your Stupid Minds returns after a brief unplanned hiatus to give you a film generally reviled in both concept and execution across the entire political spectrum. It's hopefully one of Disney's last romps into the live action remake sphere: 2025's Snow White. We're all familiar with the formula by now: take an animated classic from the back catalogue, cast someone who can sing as the lead, someone who can't sing as the villain, fill the rest of the roles with nobodies you can pay scale, add some lens flares and CGI nightmares and shove it into theaters for a cool billion dollar global gross. This has worked time and time again despite its overwhelming superfluousness, but Snow White seems to have burst the bubble through a combination of political turmoil, excessive padding, and nightmare dwarfs. Snow White (Rachel Zegler) is a nice lady whose queen mom dies and king dad marries the Evil Queen (Gal Gadot). The Evil Queen turns everything bad, but as long as her magic mirror tells her she's hot then Snow White is safe. One day the mirror says she isn't the hottest, and Snow White goes on the run to hide out with a cabin full of horrid looking CGI dwarfs. The 2025 version adds a bunch of dwarf lore where they have magic powers that help them find gems. This does not come up later. Snow White meets Jonathan (Andrew Burnap) a scrappier Han Solo style update of the prince from the original film. They have some repartee and then fall in love. This version adds some new forgettable songs and expands existing songs unnecessarily in order to pad this thing out to modern acceptable feature length. They all Les Mis up to the castle at the end to confront the Evil Queen and everyone eats apple pies forever. The end. Note: Apologies for the quality of my audio track. The recorder was low on batteries so I decided to switch to USB power, which resulted in some kind of interference. I cleaned it up to an acceptable state, but I promise it won't happen again.
#267
Oct 31, 2025 · 1 hr 32 min
267 - Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers
After a contentious bidding war with New Line Cinema, Miramax was determined to revamp the Halloween franchise with this jumbled mess. It's 1995's Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, starring Donald Pleasance, Marianne Hagan, Kim Darby, and Paul Rudd. When Michael Myers and his niece Jamie (J.C. Brandy) are kidnapped by cultists at the end of Halloween V: The Revenge of Michael Myers (don't worry, we get into the series chronology in the episode), Jamie is forced to give birth to a baby for we assume child sacrifice purposes. She escapes with her newborn but is murdered by Michael; the killer is singularly determined to wipe out his entire bloodline (but is shockingly not very adept at it). Meanwhile, a new Strode family has moved into Michael's murder mansion. Kara (Hagan) is a young woman trying to get her life back on track with her six year old son Danny (Devin Gardner). Much like his namesake in The Shining, Danny has special murderer powers and voices in his head, but unlike The Shining, this is unimportant and barely comes up. Tommy Doyle (Rudd, credited as Paul Stephen Rudd in this pre-Clueless role) is the kid from the first movie who talks about the Bogeyman. This run-in with Michael 17 years prior has left him traumatized and obsessed with the killer, researching occult reasons for his murder spree on the mid-90s internet. He finds Jamie's baby at a bus station and lackadaisically decides to take care of it while they kinda figure out a way to do something. Also Dr. Loomis (Pleasance) is back on his perpetual mission to find and apprehend Michael. Will these characters intersect? Does this movie have a purpose? Is Michael's mask too large, thick, and lumpy? Will someone get electrocuted so bad his head explodes? You'll have to listen to find out.
#266
Oct 17, 2025 · 1 hr 10 min
266 - The Murder Mansion
Your Stupid Minds starts its spooktacular October with a Spanish/Italian collab that numerous Letterboxd reviews describe as "giallo meets Scooby Doo," presumably because there's one mask reveal and some Italians are involved. It's 1972's The Murder Mansion! After an "exciting" car/motorcycle chase, speed demon Fred (Andrés Resino) steals comely hitchhiker Laura (Lisa Leonardo) from sweaty creep Mr. Porter (Franco Fantasia). Meanwhile, neurotic divorcee Elsa (Analía Gadé) races off into the foggy night with some other people. They all find themselves lost in the fog (even after Fred asks directions from the Grim Reaper) and end up at the titular murder mansion, an old house in the foothills of Spain with its very own cemetery! It's overseen by the young Martha Clinton, a descendant of the house's original satanic inhabitants. Soon, strange things begin to occur, not entirely spurred by Fred's morbid fascination with going to the basement. A lumbering chauffeur (not unlike Maniac Cop or Tor Johnson) and an old woman (not unlike Vampiria or an elderly version of Martha) keep menacing the house guests. Is the house really supernatural, or is there a a more earthly, Giallo-like explanation? How many times will Fred go to the basement? Will a murder ever happen in the murder mansion? You'll just have to listen to find out!
#265
Oct 3, 2025 · 2 hr
265 - The Three Musketeers (2011)
Wirework lover and wife guy Paul W.S. Anderson tries his hand at an adventure classic with 2011's The Three Musketeers! How is he going to find a way to add Matrix fights, laser traps and exploding airships into this one? Starring Ray Stevenson, Luke Evans, Orlando Bloom, Mads Mikkelsen, Chrisoph Waltz, and, you guessed it, Milla Jovovich. After a successful heist in Venice, the musketeers and Milady manage to steal Leonardo la Vinci's famous airship plans. Athos (Matthew Macfadyen) uses his classic scuba ninja skills, Aramis (Evans) his Assassin's Creed cloak-wearing skills, and Porthos (Stevenson) his getting into prison on purpose skills. However, tragedy strikes when Milady, with the help of the Duke of Buckingham (Bloom) betrays the team and steals the plans for the duke. One year later, D'Artagnan (Logan Lerman) is a Gascon bumpkin heading to the big city to start duels with everyone he meets. After picking a fight with Rochefort (Mikkelsen), the best swordsman in France, he picks fights with the 2nd-4th best swordsmen in France: the Three Musketeers. But they become friends anyway, and engage in a highly bastardized version of the book's plot in order to thwart the evil plan of Cardinal Richelieu (Waltz). Will the team accomplish whatever they were trying to do? Will they integrate a bunch of 2010s style 3D elements? Will an airship be shot at by an even bigger airship? You'll just have to listen to find out!
#264
Sep 19, 2025 · 1 hr 10 min
264 - Arcade
Your Stupid Minds returns to the deep well of Albert Pyun with another cyberspace type 90s movie about an evil VR arcade machine that turns you insane and then kidnaps you and is also Freddy Krueger. It's 1993's Arcade, starring Megan Ward, Peter Billingsley, John de Lancie, and Seth Green as "Stilts." After her mother's suicide, Alex (Ward) is struggling in school. During a visit to their favorite foggy subterranean arcade "Dante's Inferno," Alex and her friends check out a new VR machine called, uninspiringly, "Arcade," that makes you feel like you're INSIDE THE GAME despite it basically being a joystick and stationary Virtual Boy headset. After the amazing demonstration, Alex's boyfriend Greg (Bryan Dattilo) disappears, and Alex must find him. It turns out Greg was sucked INTO THE GAME and also the game is evil. She recruits Nick (Billingsley) to help. A visit to the video game studio and a talk with the game's creator provides surprisingly little information. He's just as confounded by his creation as everyone else. He doesn't know how it works or why it's evil, but they've got a Q4 financial report to release so it's gotta be released come hell or high water. Alex and Nick decide the only way to get their friends back (other friends are also sucked into the game both on and off camera) is to beat the game. Can they do it? And how convincing will these early 90s computer graphics be? This movie sat on the shelf for a few years. After the trailer's release, Disney sent them a cease and desist due to the game's not insignificant resemblance to Tron. They spent a few years replacing light cycles with skateboards before it unceremoniously sat on a different shelf: that of your local mom and pop video store.
#263
Aug 22, 2025 · 1 hr 31 min
263 - Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace
Your Stupid Minds returns to computer with a sequel to 1992's cyber thriller The Lawnmower Man. Except 1996's Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (or is it Jobe's War?) is bigger, dumber, and significantly less financially successful, somehow opening at #19 in the box office on 1,600 screens. Starring no one from the original movie except Austin O'Brien. Peter (O'Brien) is an orphaned street urchin on the mean streets of cyberpunk L.A. And when it's cyberpunk L.A. you know what that means! It's perpetually night, it's torrentially raining, and people are warming their hands on fire barrels to counteract Southern California's famously cold climate. We can assume some kind of nuclear winter has set in, but it's never mentioned. Peter and his cadre of Burger King Kids Club members (including a dog) live in an abandoned subway tunnel and hack into cyberspace using stolen phone cards. That's where he recognizes Jobe (Matt Frewer) despite his dying in the last movie and being recast in this one as a completely different type of guy. Jobe wants him to get in contact with Dr. Benjamin Trace (Patrick Bergin) a replacement for Pierce Brosnan's Dr. Lawrence Angelo from the last movie. Once they get in contact, Jobe is trying to crack open the Chiron Chip so he can do evil cyberspace stuff. His friendly facade quickly crumbles and he starts doing his Jim Carrey Riddler imitation that Frewer eventually perfects in Generation X. What follows up until the last ten minutes isn't particularly important. Trace must do a CGI sword fight with Jobe to restore order or something. Also the dog can insert mini CD-ROMs with his paw.

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