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You Can't Do That

Never Not Media

A podcast about hockey from three women who have more opinions than information and LOTS of feelings about the Washington Capitals. These enthusiastically self-righteous idiots aren't here to win - they're here to make friends! (And talk about which hockey players are cats and which are dogs.) Join Eva, Kelly, and Rave for jokes and yelling about the latest league headlines, player antics, and more.

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  • 20 episodes
  • Avg 1 hr 11 min
  • English

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Episodes 20

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  • June 19 · 1 hr 10 min

    #228: Jarv-Pilled

    "'Scenes From A Hat' ass." Shocking no one, Eva, Kelly, and Rave cheered as the Carolina Hurricanes stomped on Vegas (and Carter Hart) to win the Stanley Cup, and became fully Jarv-pilled in the process. Also on the docket: Dylan Larkin, PWHL roster supre

  • June 5 · 1 hr 3 min

    #227: High-Danger Goofin'

    "Matt! No!!" Is there a worse Cup Finals matchup for this particular podcast than Vegas vs. Carolina? Kelly, Eva, and Rave give this question the sincere deliberation it deserves…but not before checking in on several more compelling topics, including Team

  • May 22 · 1 hr 17 min

    #226: The Upsides

    "Look how muscles he is." The second round of the playoffs has left Rave, Eva, and Kelly perturbed and disappointed tbqh!! Time to choose the lesser of several evils and check in on the relative villainy levels of Jakub Dobeš, John Tortorella, the PWHL's

  • May 9 · 1 hr 31 min

    #225: It's Curtains, Girl!

    "It galls an old bitch." LOFFS TIME. Eva, Kelly, and Rave eulogize the first-round fallen and make irresponsible predictions about what’s to come in their usual even-handed, well-informed, and anti-Vegas way. Plus: Kelly weighs in on the latest Leafs news

  • April 17 · 1 hr 22 min

    #224: Not Ovi Til It's Ovi

    "Go die with him!" Kelly, Eva, and Rave are serving up some piping hot copium about the retirement or non-retirement of our load-bearing Russian machine. Grab a glass, friends. Also on the docket: dragging the Leafs organization for filth in the public sq

  • April 1 · 1 hr 17 min

    #223: Problematic Age Caps

    "Exhausted AND fatigued." Alexander Ovechkin keeps breaking records but he's got more important things to worry about, and so do Rave, Kelly, and Eva. Things like: All our new Caps babies! And CHILIGATE. And organ transplants. This episode was recorded on

  • March 17 · 1 hr 24 min

    #222: Farewell to the Friendship Factory

    "Don't hang up!!" Eva, Rave, and Kelly have a lot to process about the fact that TWO load-bearing Washington Capitals were traded away for [what feels like] PENNIES on the dollar. Meanwhile, former Capital Radko Gudas is enemy #1 of the weary ghost of wha

  • March 3 · 1 hr 15 min

    #221: Wife War

    "Get PooCrave'd." Of all the dead wives in our motion pictures, Sidney Crosby is the most beautiful and powerful, and Kelly, Eva, and Rave have the funeral wreaths to prove it. But first: the good (PLD is BACK), the bad (the p*wer pl*y, always), and the u

  • February 17 · 59 min

    #220: Livestreaming At The Bone Church

    "In-house orgies only." NHL hockey? We don't know her. It's Olympics time. Rave, Eva, and Kelly check in on how women's and men's hockey is progressing in Milan, with digressions on veneers, Hilary Knight's courtship, and Time For Kids (and other icons of

  • February 4 · 1 hr 6 min

    #219: Bobblehead Graveyard

    "Mean prudes." Eva, Kelly, and Rave may feel threatened by Nathan MacKinnon’s goal-scoring success but they're not letting it affect their enjoyment of the Caps' [checks notes] TWO consecutive wins last week, the beautiful tear falling down Sidney Crosby

  • January 20 · 1 hr 15 min

    #218: A Convenient European

    "Who stole your crown, queen?" This week Kelly, Eva, and Rave explore the Caps' desperate need for a bitchy center, the Oilers' astrological baggage, the Senators' entry into the "unforced error press releases of all time" competition, and other goings-on

  • January 6 · 1 hr 17 min

    #217: Four Sauces, One Haircut

    "Power forward Miss Piggy." Rave, Eva, and Kelly are ready to build back better this year, first with an apology re: those hockey show twunks, then with well-informed suggestions for NHL and Olympics GMs re: constructing winning teams. Other topics: Justi

  • Dec 9, 2025 · 1 hr 4 min

    #216: The Flower of His Pesthood

    "Sending love to Jan." Eva, Rave, and Kelly are gathered in the metaphorical mind basement with bowls of cashews and cigarettes and they're ready to talk hockey, from the Caps' win streak and lengthening injured list to Olympics gossip and general Canucks

  • Nov 25, 2025 · 1 hr 8 min

    #215: The Messarounds

    "Release your birth time." This episode is brought to you by Dylan Strome's third baby, Ethen Frank's singular face, and a blurry cell phone photo of the back of our heads as we enjoy a meal with Tate McRae. Plus: Kelly's grinchy grin for JT Miller, a bun

  • Nov 11, 2025 · 1 hr 36 min

    #214: Chilly Dogg

    "You're the unc now." What a delightfully magical and mystical month we're having! Rave, Eva, and Kelly are feeling inspired by Ovi's 900th, the Caps/Pens' long-haul relationship, a terrible "power" play, and Jacob Chychrun's new narrative. Plus: several

  • Oct 29, 2025 · 1 hr 12 min

    #213: Forward-Facing Dingus

    "Living rent-free in your prison restaurant." We can't all be Judi Jupiter bewitching young hockeys with our chaotic vibes for the purposes of content creation, but gosh darn it, Eva, Kelly, and Rave are gonna keep trying. Up for discussion: a foiled goal

  • Oct 17, 2025 · 1 hr 17 min

    #212: Eau du Knockoff

    "It's all just fine and NOT lies." WE'RE BACK. Kelly, Eva, and Rave have gathered 'round the mics to talk hockey once again and there's much to discuss, including Mitch Marner to VGK, Connor McDavid's hot poly summer, and the Washington Capitals' perma-ba

  • Oct 16, 2025 · 2 min

    Official Trailer: Season 9

    We’re about to start YCDT’s ninth hockey season and we’re feeling prettttty confident about what we're bringing to the table. See you soon, nerds. [Producers’ note: Ignore the hosts! Tell your friends!]

  • Jun 25, 2025 · 1 hr 18 min

    #211: Meme-Fodder Boys

    "A creature-shaped hole." Eva, Kelly, and Rave wrap up the '24-'25 NHL season by appreciating the narrative-free grit of the Florida Panthers, the charisma uniqueness nerve and talent of Flyers GM Danny Briere, and the many funny trades and goings-on in b

  • Jun 11, 2025 · 1 hr 12 min

    #210: Recreational Kvetching

    "Rat accrual." After a couple crucial Caps updates, Kelly, Rave, and Eva pour one out for our dead Dallas Stars (and say sayonara to goalie mistreater Pete DeBoer), celebrate the Brad Marchand of it all as Florida takes on Edmonton again, have an unexpect

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