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Will & Luke Discuss

Will & Luke Discuss

Lifelong friends, Will (Mental Health Social Worker, Australia) and Luke (Psychotherapist, UK), discuss influential books on personal growth, across fields of Psychology, Psychotherapy, Philosophy, Self-help and more.

We've been friends for 30 years (our whole lives) and really enjoy having these conversations. We hope you get as much learning as we have from these.
Would love to read your comments and feedback. Shoot us an email at willandlukediscuss@gmail.com.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke

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  • 20 episodes
  • Avg 1 hr 2 min
  • English

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  • #46
    May 16, 2023 · 1 hr 4 min

    #46 Mindful CBT (Seth Gillihan, 2022)

    This week we're discussing Seth Gillihan's wonderful book on Mindfulness and CBT. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke 00:00 Introduction 03:50 Key Understanding of the combined model (THINK, ACT, BE) 06:00 Fundamentals of CBT 10:00 Bringing both Mindfullness & CBT together 15:10 Underlying Core Beliefs in CBT (Cognitive layers - automatic thoughts, rules and assumptions, core beliefs) 18:10 Cognitive Distortions 21:00 Finding Leverage 29:30 Links between values and goals 31:00 Mindful decision making process (CBT/Mindfulness approach) (Gut instinct vs internal values vs bodily signals vs emotional decisions) ('Felt evidence') 38:00 Mindful action (deliberate action in line with reality - acknowledging inner world) 40:15 Mindful in your body and bodily awareness (healthy vs unhealthy pain) 44:00 Quick recap on Mindful CBT Model again (4th dimension of awareness) (Clear relationship to thoughts) 45:50 Applying this to relationships (connection, pleasure, pain, conflict, availability, presence, clear mind, predictions, presumptions, 'should' & 'shouldn't', experiencing others more fully) 54:00 Procrastination (fears this is rooted in) (working with fear and discomfort) (feedback loops) 58:00 Final reflections (Incorporating compassion) Find the book: ⁠https://sethgillihan.com/books/mindful-cognitive-behavioral-therapy/⁠ This specific episode can also be heard on: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW?si=5e59f72ff7344f2e Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videosListen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

  • #45
    Mar 28, 2023 · 1 hr

    #45 Schema Therapy (Jeffrey Young et al, 2003)

    This week we discuss Schema Therapy by Jeffrey Young et al. Will interviews Luke on his understandings gained from this great book. We go into what a schema is, where they come from, schema modes, the 5 basic emotional needs and how to address the more maladaptive schemas in our lives. Also the impacts of how having rigid schemas and coping styles that aren't flexible to new information can be problematic. We try to frame this discussion through a self development lense for the general listener. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke 00:00 Introductions - What is a schema?03:30 Where do we get schemas from? 05:50 Early maladaptive schemas? Emotional needs unmet. 08:55 Origins of schemas (5 basic emotional needs: Sense of security, Autonomy - competent identity, freedom to express emotions and needs, spontaneity and play, realistic limits) 12:45 Domains, Needs, Schemas defined 15:55 Difference between conditional schemas vs unconditional schemas 18:59 Applying this self-development (Awareness, reactions/responses, attachment, motivation) Asking - what's the problem or negative life impact? 23:00 Bringing in new awareness and psychological flexibility and compassion 26:31 Change phase (cognitive, behavioural change, compassion based ect) (Challenging on an emotional level and use of imagery) 29:00 How Schema's stay rigid - How coping styles keep them rigid (over compensation, avoidance, surrender) 31:50 The role of temperament on coping styles (patterns we fall into) 37:00 Finding our healthy adult - Schema Modes (Child, Adult, Parent) 40:15 Impact of memory of schemas (procedural memory) 42:30 Change phases again - challenging cognitively, emotionally, behaviourally and interpersonally. (Understand and challenge on a rational level, use of imagery to challenge emotions, trying out new behaviours and habits to act counter to old schemas, having another person respond different and relationships to interact with) 52:00 What are the 18 key schemas? 57:30 Final reflections Find the book: https://schematherapysociety.org/Books This specific episode can also be heard on: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5hudsmo1GWwo7rKoz9jjZX?si=b7acf5e8aece47f4 Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

  • Mar 27, 2023 · 58 min

    #44 The Wisdom of Insecurity (Alan Watts, 1951) | Will & Luke Discuss

    This week we discuss 'The Wisdom of Insecurity' by Alan Watts. A seminal book of his that is an exploration of the law of reversed effort in a human's quest for psychological security and our efforts to find spiritual and intellectual security in religion and philosophy. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke 00:00 Introductions 01:50 The Law of Reversed Effort 05:00 The Age of Insecurity (anticipation of pleasures and avoidance of pains perpetuates suffering) (Our inability to enjoy the present moment) 12:00 The 'I' we refer to (treating life as play) (perspective change) 14:30 How we try numb our negative experiences (how we repress pleasure when we try to repress pain) 18:45 The Wisdom of the Body (and it's interaction with the mind) 27:55 How we symbolise aspects of life as a barrier to experience 34:50 Being aware (and how we perpetuate pain) 39:45 The mind as a sponge and the transitory nature of life (more on labelling and the natural flow to life and experience) 45:00 The transformation of life (making choices and decisions) 50:15 The role and practice of morality 55:30 Final reflections Find the book at: https://alanwatts.org/ This specific episode can also be heard/seen on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUgj_-sUzVw Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

  • #43
    Feb 6, 2023 · 1 hr 1 min

    #43 Chatter (Ethan Kross, 2021)

    This week Luke interviews Will on his recent read of Chatter by Ethan Kross. We cover the key concepts of what mental chatter is, why we have it and the ways it can backfire. Then we get into some really practical strategies to combat it. A great read. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke 00:00 Introductions 01:00 What is chatter 03:45 Why we have chatter 11:00 When talking to ourselves backfires (and discernment) 17:00 Zooming out 21:45 Temporal Distancing and Narrative writing 24:00 The role of perspective, CBT and compassion 30:45 The power and peril of other people. Utilising others to address chatter. Co-rumination trap 38:00 Tools that involve others which lower chatter temperature 41:30 Outside in - environmental supports for chatter. Voluntary and involuntary attention. 44:45 The shrinking of the self 49:30 Benefits of creating order (also rituals) 52:00 Placebo effect 54:30 Final reflections and summary Find the book at: https://www.ethankross.com/ This specific episode can also be heard on: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1uDjy8SFXz8gaSmAlg26wR?si=a73ff58e2ccf494e Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

  • #42
    Oct 24, 2022 · 56 min

    #42 The Antidote (Oliver Burkeman, 2012)

    This week, we discussed another fantastic Oliver Burkeman book. The Antidote - Happiness for people who can't stand positive thinking. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke. 00:00 Introductions 03:40 What the book is about? (How we try to be happy and misdirections of self help) 08:30 If we don't address our motivations 'to be happy' (feel we aren't good enough or have low self worth) then we can't be content. Attachments to certain outcomes. Clinging to pleasant, pushing away the negative. (Happiness through uncertainty). 11:30 Negative Capability (learning to tolerate discomfort) 15:00 Law of reversed effort 16:20 Positive Visualisation and Intention setting 20:15 Death reminders (living with life and death a companion) 24:40 Goals can be counterproductive (sacrificing the process by over focusing on the result). Other ways of approaching goals (effectual:resource first then decide goal vs causal: goal first and select resources). 29:45 Approach to habits and systems (when is enough) 38:00 Confronting failure as a vehicle to growth and perfectionism being fear driven 48:10 The safety catch - the hidden catch of insecurity (Longing for futures that we can't control) (Feel vulnerability to experience full range of reactions to the world around us). 54:00 Conclusions Buy the book: https://www.oliverburkeman.com/ This specific episode can also be seen on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C52ac9Bn7cw Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

  • S1 · E41
    Sep 18, 2022 · 1 hr 12 min

    #41 Four Thousand Weeks (Oliver Burkeman, 2021)

    This week discuss Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman. A fantastic writer who gave us a timely perspective on the antidote to modern productivity strategies and how embracing finitude and accepting our limitations as the way to a more fulfilling life. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke 00:00 Introductions 02:20 What the book is about (Choosing to Choose & Beyond Control) 05:00 Time as a resource and living like we are 'limitless' (leads to us putting off what is important) 13:50 Acknowledging limitations is free-ing. The face we can choose is free-ing. Choosing things to say to no. We have to say no to what we want to do sometimes 15:35 Facing finitude 17:15 Issues around planning (trying to control the future and avoid uncertainty) 20:00 5 Questions around living in deep time (1. Where in life are you pursuing comfort when you'd be better off exploring discomfort?) 26:25 2.Are you judging yourself or holding yourself by standards of performance that are impossible to meet (deciding what to fail at) 32:00 Cosmic Insignificance Therapy (there is meaning in the finite, we don't constantly need to strive to be happy, leisure time doesn't need to be productive) (How would you spend your time differently if you didn't need to watch your actions take fruition?) 40:15 In which areas of life are you still holding back until you know what you're doing? (Everyone is winging it - don't wait to pursue things 42:45 Question 3. In what ways have you yet to accept the fact you are who you are not the person you think you ought to be? 44:30 Tools to embrace finitude: take a fixed volume approach to productivity, make pre-determined time boundaries for daily work, focus on one big project at a time, keep a done list, consolidate your caring - manage your inputs, embrace single use tech, practice doing nothing. 55:35 Managing time with others (the benefits of collective rhythms) (the loneliness of the digital nomad) 1:05:30 Value of patience (to develop unique creative endeavours) 1:08:30 Final reflections Find the book: https://www.oliverburkeman.com/ This specific episode can also be seen on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_pYv1zMWwE Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

  • S1 · E40
    Aug 3, 2022 · 1 hr

    #40 Essentialism & Effortless (Greg McKeown, 2014; 2021)

    This week we discuss both Essentialism and Effortless by Greg McKeown. Two fantastic books that go perfectly together and cover so much in the realm of personal productivity, freedom and time management. Definitely one of our favourites. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke. 00:00 Introductions (Essentials - Explore, Eliminate, Execute) (Effortless - State, Action, Results) 05:00 Concepts of effort in society 07:00 What is an essentialist? What is a non-essentialist? 13:00 The core mindset of an essentialist 'Do less but better' 15:00 Eliminating (what doesn't matter) and Exploring (what is essential to you) 25:00 Importance of trust in shared projects and ways to make projects effortless 28:42 Having the courage to be 'rubbish'. Produce to keep yourself accountable. 29:50 Creating buffers and responding to deadlines. Upper and Lower Limits. "Don't do today what you can't recovery from tomorrow'' 34:10 Eliminate - how to cut out the trivial. Saying No. Un-committing. Responding to social norms and external pressures. Weighing up trade offs. 47:15 Hell yeah, or No. 48:50 Effortless - motivation and energy as a limited resources. How to make things easy and not live so relentlessly. Orientation switch. 'If you don't decide your priorities then someone else will'. Doing things that are valuable and matter. 54:30 Final reflections - the difference between doing and being. Identity switch. Find Greg McKeown's work: https://gregmckeown.com This specific episode can also be seen on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHD4IiueE38 Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

  • #39
    Jul 4, 2022 · 1 hr

    #39 The ONE Thing (Gary Keller & Jay Papasan, 2012)

    This week we discuss 'The One Thing' by Gary Keller & Jay Papasan. A really interesting read in the area of productivity and lifestyle design which covers the way in which we can prioritise daily actions which serve our greater goals. We talk about the lies we live; by that everything matters equally, that multitasking is possible and how work/life balance isn't a thing amongst others. Also... The Focusing Questions: 'What's the ONE THING I can do such by doing that everything else will be easier or unnecessary'. We also unpack the concepts of the domino effect, extreme pareto, living by priority, living with purpose, sitting in discomfort of letting other areas of life fall behind as you pursue your one thing, living for productivity and time blocking. A really great way to view the different areas of your life and to put what matters first to get the greatest results in line with your values! Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke. 00:00 Introductions 02:20 The concept of 'The One Thing' 05:20 The Lies (1. Everything Matters Equally 2. Multitasking 3. A DisciplinedLife 4. Willpower Is Always on Will-Call 5. A Balanced Life 6. Big Is Bad) 10:03 Maintenance Habits vs Action Habits (and work life balance) 19:53 The Focusing Question 'What's the ONE THING I can do such by doing that everything else will be easier or unnecessary' (Big Picture, Small Focus) (The Domino Effect) (Extreme Pareto) 27:00 Live by Priority (We can have many priorities but there must be one thing right now It's in the journey) (Sitting with discomfort) 30:20 The ONE Thing across different life areas and distractions 37:00 Technology boundaries and distractions 39:45 The impact of these concepts on relationships (being present, deepening relationships) 41:15 Living with Purpose (making sure your daily actions honour this - + WHEN OUR DAILY ACTIONS FULFILL A BIGGER PURPOSE is when we are most happy) (An example) 42:00 The role of habits and finding ones that contribute towards other goals (and routines) 50:40 Planning your life, work and time off. (Time blocking) 54:45 The Four Thieves of our time, energy and attention: 1. Inability to say No 2. Fear of Chaos 3. Poor Health Habits 4. Environment doesn't support goals. 58:45 Final reflections Find the book: https://the1thing.com/ This specific episode can also be heard on: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5D23iDqRIJsVInshlmBKxC?si=3648875efab34580 Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

  • #38
    May 22, 2022 · 1 hr 6 min

    #38 Compassion Focused Therapy (Paul Gilbert, 2010)

    This week we discuss Compassion Focused Therapy by Paul Gilbert who is a clinical psychologist and founder of compassion focused therapy (CFT). We discuss the 3 interacting systems in our mind (Treat, Drive, Soothing), the old brain vs new brain, the mechanisms of change and how to cultivate our mindset to be more compassionate. Alongside compassionate self correction vs shame based self attacking and the attributes of compassions and skills we can develop. Plus much more around shifting from the threat system to a soothing system. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke. 00:00 Introductions 05:00 Key aspect of CFT 07:30 Uses of CBT and interaction with CFT 09:05 3 interacting Systems (Threat, Drive, Soothing) 14:20 Old Brain and New Brain (also physical symptoms) 17:00 The inbuilt soothing system 19:20 The attitude of approaching CFT (de-shaming) (cultivating our mindset) 23:05 The mechanisms of change (1. Disengage from the inner stimulators of threat. 2.Compassionately stand back from one's emotions and observing. 3. Activate the soothing system as a threat regulator. 4. Being able to engage with aversive inner experiences by developing a compassionate inner base) 25:20 Mindset and approaches to CFT. Compassionate self correction vs shame based self attacking. Threat mind vs compassionate mind. 27:20 Attributes of compassion (Sensitivity, Sympathy, Care for well-being, Non-judgemental, Empathy, Distress tolerance) + Skills Training (Imagery, Reasoning, Behaviour, Sensory, Feeling, Attention. 33:00 Social Mentalities (we have a number of these that enable us to seek out and form certain types of relationships). (Competitive vs Caring Mentality) 37:20 Creating a compassionate base and cultivating a compassionate mind 51:00 Striving vs acceptance 54:20 Final reflections and examples around self talk and noticing the systems we enter into. This specific episode can also be seen on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsCvmhEIO7s Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public. Find the book: https://www.compassionatemind.co.uk/resource/books

  • S1 · E37
    Mar 29, 2022 · 51 min

    #37 The Art of Living (Epictetus, interpretation by Sharon Lebell, 1995)

    This week we discuss 'The Art of Living' by Epictetus. An ancient stoic philosopher who's work has influenced much of the self-help and CBT literature of the modern day. We discuss the role of philosophy according to Epictetus, how to focus on what is in our control (as well as how to let go of those thing that are outside of our influence), taking an attitude towards ethical daily decision making, self responsibility and the call to action in life. Also how we develop ourselves in relationship to others and the impacts of our words, actions and attitudes with those around us. Alongside the power of habit and how to manage our higher ideals against the day to day tasks of living. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke. 00:00 Introductions and context 03:30 The role of philosophy according to Epictetus - The process of becoming who we are 07:40 Focusing and what is in your control. What can we influence? (Call to in the moment mindfulness) (The impact of expectations and judgements) (Seperate reality vs projections) 15:50 Philosophy is for everyone. Application towards daily decision making. Call to self-responsibility and action. Consider who you want to be 18:30 We develop ourself in relation to others (Relational perspective) 21:35 The impact of other people in our lives 28:45 Impact of the conversations, interactions and media we consume 31:40 How are our attitudes, thoughts, words and deeds impacting others around us 36:50 The power of habit to facilitate living by your own ideals (and the cycle of negativity) (Influence on CBT + ACT alongside benefits of mindfulness) 42:00 Managing the day to day vs higher ideals 44:00 Luke's favourite quotes 49:00 Conclusions Buy the book: https://www.sharonlebell.com/ This specific episode can also be seen on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMZcpkRhHhM Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

  • #36
    Feb 17, 2022 · 51 min

    #36 Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... and it's All Small Stuff (Richard Carlson, 1997)

    This week we discuss Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... and it's All Small Stuff. A book which was full of nuggets of wisdom around how to keep perspective on life when caught up in day to tasks and worries. We discuss how to make peace with imperfection, how to stop our thoughts from snow balling and how we are what we practice the most. Plus much more. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke. 00:00 Introductions (A book about perspective) (Ideas from ACT, CBT, Stoicism, Buddhism) 04:50 Altering our life by altering our attitude. Don't sweat the ball stuff 08:35 Watching the snowballing of your thoughts (the power of thoughts)(Transforming relationship with out thoughts) 13:40 Accepting all aspects of yourself - compassion 14:30 Try to take a broad perspective on life during the day to day (how to engage with others) (Listening to those closest to us) 18:40 Choosing your battles wisely and If someone throws you a ball you don't have to catch it (Boundaries) 22:00 Making peaceful with imperfection. What is success? Perfection? Balancing wider life purposeful when dealing with small stuff. Fixed vs Growth mindset. Expectations. 29:45 Lighten Up. Be sincere not Serious. Life as play. 33:25 Becoming an early rise and shifting morning routines. Structure, self responsibility accountability. 37:30 Remember, you become what you practice most (what behaviours and reactions are we cultivating in day to day moments) 42:10 Checking you ego and checking perspective in response to others 46:45 Wrap-up and final reflections Buy the book: https://dontsweat.com/ This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/-Uo562d9AYQ Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

  • S1 · E35
    Jan 16, 2022 · 51 min

    #35 The Happiness Hypothesis (Jonathan Haidt, 2006)

    This week we discuss The Happiness Hypothesis. Jonathon has laid out for us 10 key ideas derived from ancient wisdom that guide us in ways to achieve human flourishing and happiness, taking a positive psychology approach. We talk about a number of concepts around aligning our values with day to day action, integrating our personality across multiple levels and ways to cope during adversity. We also look into what Jonathon means by 'Happiness Between', work's role in happiness, how to change our mind and his notion of training the 'rider' of our emotional 'elephant' in order to create sustained change. A real catch all episode. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke. 00:00 Introduction 03:00 Elephant and Rider concept 5:30 The uses of adversity (post traumatic growth). 3 Levels of integration to achieve in our personality - basic traits, characteristic adaptations and our life story. Ways of coping - active, appraisal and avoidance. (Adapting self, adapting to environment and changing environment) 15:30 Pursuit of Happiness - Chapter 5 - Matching long term goals with short term ones. Taking action vs acceptance and loss of attachments. (Adaptation principle) (Progress principle) 21:10 Work's role in Happiness and discovering meaning (Engaging in our environment and work matching values) 25:15 Happiness Hypothesis - Happiness comes from between 30:00 Change your mind - Re-training the elephant through strengthening the rider! How to create sustained change. Tightening up vs loosening. 38:00 The Divided self - reason and emotion working together 39:40 Virtue Ethics - building individual virtues and character 42:00 Life being play (seriousness vs sincerity) playing our 'role' in life. Not investing life so intensely that it becomes stressful. (Life story is - Reconstructed past, perceived present and anticipated future) 47:00 Acceptance vs Striving 48:00 Conclusion Find the book at: https://jonathanhaidt.com/ This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/3wb9AnfCubM Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

  • S1 · E34
    Oct 31, 2021 · 56 min

    #34 Deep Work (Cal Newport, 2016)

    This week we look into Cal Newport's 'Deep Work'. Talking about how we can use our time wisely to focus on what really matters free from unnecessary distractions and how can be push ourselves to our cognitive limits. We discuss how deep work is a skill that requires training and how we can best use the limited amount of time and energy we have in a day. We cover concepts of task switching, the impacts of technology on concentration, how to create free mental space to work and replenish ourselves. With a lengthy discussion on the 4 types of 'Depth Philosophies' that we can engage in. We think this one builds really nicely on the back of digital minimalism by the same author. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke. 00:00 Introduction 2:40 What is Deep Work and why is it so valuable 4:40 Impact of Technology 6:10 Busy vs Productive/Effective 10:15 Importance of deep work - what we choose to pay attention to and how to become less distracted and Flow. (Wider impacts) 15:15 Rules of Deep Work: Work Deeply (create the space/structure). It takes practice. 23:00 Depth Philosophies: Monastic (large chunk of time away), Journalistic (squeeze in deep work when you can), Rhythmic (clearly defined moments for deep work, develop a habit), Bimodal (day/few days off) 36:55 Other deep work strategies (embrace boredom, quitting social media, locking out sacred time, understanding your mental capacity, planning time to do specific tasks, schedule every part of your day, end of day rituals, treat emails as a distraction). 44:00 Training yourself to rejuvenate vs training to do deep work. Meaningful leisure not just 'chilling out'. 46:30 'Humans were born to be busy' - push yourself 49:00 Deep Work can be calculated by how long it would take to learn. 52:00 Conclusions Find the book: https://www.calnewport.com/books/deep-work/ This specific episode can also be watched on: https://youtu.be/PvkmvKYSGJU Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

  • S1 · E33
    Sep 19, 2021 · 58 min

    #33 Social Chemistry (Marissa King, 2020)

    How do we make friends, create networks and maintain strong ties with those in our lives? What reasons do people come and go from our lives? And, how can we deepen our friendships in moment to moment interactions? We discuss Marissa's ideas around social chemistry and the 3 types of networks/styles we adopt (Expansionists, Conveyers and Brokers). We also get stuck into ideas around work/life balance, the impact of technology on friendships and how we can diversify our networks. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke. 00:00 Introductions and Communication Styles/Ties 04:28 Structures of Networks + What is friendship and how does it develop? 9:30 Expansionists 14:21: Conveners 16:30 Brokers 19:15 Friendships - 'In the Moment' + Impact of phone use + Follow up questions 27:10 Barriers to and enhancers of communication (Enhancing self awareness and self faculty) 35:33 Oscillating between Broker and Convener - changing styles throughout life. 37:42 Work/Life Balance (Segmenters vs Integrators) 44:20 Energising vs Draining friendships 47:00 Maintenance through technology and shared activities 52:25 Who we are drawn to as friends and expanding diversity of networks 55:40 Final reflections and wrap up This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/aOvZ7MFLR4U Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public. Purchase the book: https://marissaking.com/socialchemistry

  • #32
    Sep 2, 2021 · 50 min

    #32 Digital Minimalism (Cal Newport, 2019)

    This week we discuss Cal Newport's 'Digital Minimalism'. As technology, apps and social media continue to grip our attention and affect us in a multitude of negative ways, how can we gain back control? How can we optimise and extract value from the technologies we currently use so we have more time for meaningful activities and connections? We discuss some of the practices Cal suggests, as well as looking at aspects of having a digital declutter, the benefits of solitude and curating our information diet. A real practical episode with plenty of take aways. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke 00:00 Introductions 2:15 Digital Life and the Philosophy of new technology 6:30 The Digital Declutter 8:50 Our inability to be alone 9:20 Technology and our core needs 10:50 Connection vs Conversation (Shallow vs Deep interactions) (Conversation centric communication) 15:30 Texting, compulsions, freedom 19:00 Utilising the benefits of technology - optimisation and extracting the value 24:05 Benefits of solitude and practices 32:00 Scheduling low quality leisure 33:25 Single purpose devices, utilising functions, notifications and other practices 36:00 Curating your information diet 38:30 Making your life full of non phone based activities + Doing 'nothing' is over-rated (Discover valuable activities) 43:00 Re-connecting with the body 44:20 Will's key take-aways 46:00 Conclusions around digital minimalism This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/HKoee_TWD00 Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public. Purchase the book: https://www.calnewport.com/books/digital-minimalism/

  • #31
    Aug 8, 2021 · 1 hr 12 min

    #31 Carpe Diem Regained (Roman Krznaric, 2017)

    Carpe Diem! Seize the day! You only live once! So many catch-all philosophies for living but what do they actually mean and how can we best live life to the fullest. This week we discuss the 5 ways that we can seize the day, extract full meaning from our days and look back on our life with few regrets. Also the ways in which we sculpt ourselves through our choices and the power of autonomy. We discuss how Carpe Diem has been hijacked, the cultural impacts on our ability to seize the day and the psychological blocks we can experience when trying to make the most of our lives. Ideas around death, freedom, power, procrastination, spontaneity, hedonism, mindfullness and the grasping of opportunity are explored. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke. 00:00 Introductions and old meanings of Carpe Diem 04:30 Cultural Highjacks of Carpe Diem 08:50 Cultural impacts 10:10 The 5 Ways to 'Seize the Day' (Spontaniety, Opportunity, Presence, Politics, Hedonism) 10:50 'Opportunity' 16:30 'Dancing with Death' and 'Death tasters' 24:25 The 'Role' Breaker 29:00 Moving life into 'Chaos' 30:10 'Hedonism' 34:40 'Presence' 43:30 I choose, therefor I am. Meaning through autonomy and choice. How we shape ourselves. (Act first think later) 48:10 'Spontaneity' - Improvised, unplanned living 54:47 Impact of technology on spontaneity 56:15 Psychological blocks to Carpe Diem (Risk, Overload, Apathy and Procrastination) 1:08:20 Conceptualising morality within Carpe Diem ideas 1:10:10 Wrap up This specific episode can also be seen on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXbjT723BsY Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public. Find the book: https://www.romankrznaric.com/carpe-diem-regained

  • #29
    Jul 13, 2021 · 1 hr 8 min

    #29 The Search for the Secure Base (Jeremy Holmes, 2001)

    This episode we look at Attachment Theory. We dive into: the four attachment styles (Secure, Ambivalent, Avoidant and Disorganised); the six domains of attachment theory; narrative approaches in psychotherapy; the construction of self; achieving an internal secure base; and balancing our needs for intimacy and authenticity. This is really dense and informative episode. We worked a lot out in real time. It was a challenging read, and a pleasure to discuss. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke 00:00 Introductions 2:00 What the book is about? 4:20 Background on attachment theory (The strange situation) Secure, Ambivalent, Avoidant and Disorganised. 13:50 6 Domains of Attachment Theory (The Secure Base, Protest, Assertiveness and Anger, Exploration and Play, Loss, Internal working models, Reflection Function and Narrative Competence) 21:40 The Adult Attachment Interview 26:55 Attachment and Narrative in Psychotherapy 40:05 Construction of Self (vs Attachments in relationship) 47:30 Trusting oneself and self-compassion 50:55 Need for intimacy and authenticity 54:55 How to achieve internal secure base (with others?) (How change happens) 1:03:20 Final reflections (Nurturing feelings and self-acceptance) (Maintaining narratives) This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/pq2xSsd9I1s Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

  • #28
    Jul 13, 2021 · 1 hr 9 min

    #28 Building a Second Brain (Tiago Forte)

    How can we retain the value of the content we consume from all the various inputs in our lives in a structured way? How do we tie together all the unclosed loops in our mind? This episode we get stuck into Tiago Forte's 'Building a Second Brain'. Forte encourages us to create a system outside of our (first) brain to organise, preserve and recall information in a meaningful way. We look at his CODE System and PARA Method alongside ideas about how we organise our lives in an increasingly digital world. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke 00:00 Introductions 6:00 Purpose of Building a Second Brain 9:00 The CODE System (Capture, Organise, Distill, Express) 13:55 Capturing (Inspiring, Useful, Easily Lost and Personal) 23:45 PARA Method (Projects, Areas, Resources and Archives) 31:00 Not software specific (Being versatile) 34:10 Categories must be personal 35:10 Archives 38:00 Weekly review (Email, Calendar, Desktop, Notes, Tasks) 43:25 Wide view on switch from paper to digital 50:30 Distilling (and progressive summarisation) 54:28 Express (doesn't have to be done to express) 55:55 Key take-aways (Starting with abundance) (Capturing your passions) References: Tiago Forte's Building a Second Brain Blog Posts: Building a Second Brain Overview: https://fortelabs.co/blog/basboverview/ PARA Method: https://fortelabs.co/blog/para/ Weekly Review: https://fortelabs.co/blog/the-one-touch-guide-to-doing-a-weekly-review/ Tiago Forte's Building a Second Brain Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/46BdDKMSBxYXKpjSoYtP2X Schools Sucks Project Podcast on Building a Second Brain: https://schoolsucksproject.com/706-building-a-second-brain-part-1-of-2-podcast-706/ https://schoolsucksproject.com/buildingasecondbrain2/ David Allen's Getting Things Done (GTD): https://gettingthingsdone.com/ This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/m5Jn0XIF4Tg Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

  • Jul 12, 2021 · 1 hr 19 min

    #27 Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers (Robert Sapolsky, 2004/1994)

    This episode we explore stress: what it is, its physiological impacts, and what we can do about it. We talk about warning signs, burn-out, ways of de-activating the stress response, the impacts of chronic stress, and how to modulate it. We highlight in particular how the psychological and physiological cannot be considered as separate. With this in mind, we consider the social contributors of stress, and how the way we structure our time impacts our stress levels. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke 00:00 Introductions 05:25 What stress is 11:10 Nervous System (Parasympathetic vs Sympathetic) and the Endrochrine System 14:30 Turning the stress response off 20:00 Realising the importance of science + truth 22:50 Early warning signs (Predictability and Control) 38:00 How we modulate our stress response (Impact of temperament, personality, world view) (Cognitive framing) (Impact of self esteem/self worth) 44:30 Stress and Depression 51:50 Social contributors and impacts of stress 59:15 Key takeaways for managing stress 1:07:14 Stress and Striving (overloading yourself) (Planning your week) 1:14:00 Final reflections This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/Xg9rcnE8-WY Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

  • #26
    Jul 11, 2021 · 1 hr 13 min

    #26 Radical Acceptance (Tara Brach, 2003)

    This episode we look into Tara Brach's concept of Radical Acceptance, which explores ways of opening up to uncomfortable feelings with a compassionate attitude and willing acceptance. We look at the importance of the sacred pause, compassion in relationship, striving vs acceptance and not using mindfulness as a control strategy. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke 00:00 Introductions 4:40 The trance of unworthiness 11:25 Striving vs Acceptance 12:50 Person Centred Theory (Internal vs External Locus of Control) 17:30 Radical acceptance vs desire (Striving vs Acceptance) (Needs not as a response to threat) 25:10 Opening our heart (anticipation of pain makes us self preserve through stories) 32:15 The Sacred Pause (within interactions) 40:20 Compassion not as a means to 'achieve something' 41:35 Visualisation and Intention Setting 46:45 Acceptance in Relationship (Widening circle of compassion) (Not treating others as objects) 53:25 Awakening together and communication (Genuine intimacy) 1:00:00 Final Reflections (Sitting deeply with our feelings, not mindfulness as avoidance) References: https://www.tarabrach.com/ This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/qLVRl_E5hYY Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365 Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

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