What Healthy Couples Know That You Don't: Relationship Advice and Respect

Rhoda Sommer LCSW

Relationships matter. Do you want to know the nitty gritty of what makes a relationship work? Get your answers to relationship questions. Learn how to keep respect alive & well, because lack of respect is why people get divorced. Learn what builds trust & how to recover from infidelity, drama or codependency. Advice from psychotherapist Rhoda Sommer based on over 35 years of working with couples. www.therapyideas.net

Listen in podnod RSS feed Show website

174 episodes
Updated Wednesday

Episodes174

Newest first

Jul 17, 2017 · 12 min
Boring Relationship? How to get Out of the Rut
Boring relationships sneak upon us. It's easy to make excuses, we're too tired after work or busy with the kids. Relationships require work to keep them fresh. You have to be committed to trying new things out. The opposite of boring is being creative.The brain loves novelty so it's really important to explore & experience something new.
Jun 21, 2017 · 13 min
Trust Demands a Softening in Attitude
Trust means we give up our inclination to exaggerate our wounds out of self interest. We can be very self righteous which creates a distorted picture of what happened. We harden ourselves & adore our own expectations of how things should be in a relationship. The opposite of all this disconnecting energy is to soften and imagine the value of your partner's point of view.
May 18, 2017 · 30 min
Relationships Demand Personal Responsibility
Interview with Marcia Turbiner Ph.D who describes the need to have a relationship with yourself in order to make relationships work. She offers a way to think about what is NOT ME and what is ME. You have to begin to understand how to take care of yourself to develop a solid sense of self. When you see yourself as an individual you will see the other more clearly.
Apr 22, 2017 · 15 min
15 Ways to Encourage Relationship Survival
Learn how to think about your relationship in 3 parts, why blame is immature and why being a separate individual keeps a partnership more solid. Consider how sacrifice, respect, going to bed angry and not playing games is crucial for relationship longevity.
Mar 18, 2017 · 11 min
Contempt Takes 2 in Relationships
Too many people live with contempt in their relationships. Contempt is a power play that leads to loneliness. When ugliness layers & layers over time it becomes ordinary. When contempt is an ordinary activity instead of an unusual one, that's a BIG problem. Contempt is a tango for two.
Feb 14, 2017 · 13 min
People-pleasing is a Danger in Relationships
If you are too lopsided in people-pleasing it will lead you to erase too much of who you are and what you want, this will begin the silent path of stock piling resentments. It's important to the health of the relationship to tell the truth to each other.
Jan 11, 2017 · 13 min
What Destroys Contentment in Relationships?
Relationships all begin with fantasy & illusions. We have absolutely no idea who somebody else really is but we make it up because we are in love. Fantasy is a flimsy beginning & contentment can be hard to achieve.
Dec 3, 2016 · 13 min
Anger Management to GROW Relationships
Anger soaked in alcohol or contempt can easily destroy relationships. Anger management is a tough skill to learn instead of the ease of blame. Learn here how to interrupt anger to have a healthy relationship.
Oct 22, 2016 · 16 min
Relationships, Keeping it Real with Rhoda
Relationships require a lot of growing up, a lot of facing your own dark side. Facing hard realities helps relationships. I believe real love is about deciding to do the work of being a better person, to risk change. It is not possible to grow & be comfortable at the same time. If you embrace change you have to be willing to be uncomfortable.
Sep 26, 2016 · 13 min
What is the Biggest Obstacle to Relationship Success?
0000007F 0000007E 00001AEB 00001B10 000011A7 000011A7 00007DAE 00007E62 00003697 00003697 Everyone arrives at couples therapy talking about Communication Problems?? What lies beneath communication problems in relationships? Listen here to learn more.
Aug 23, 2016 · 13 min
Dating Advice: What Everybody Needs to Know
Dating is often painful because the person who loves the least has the most power. Are you overly generous? Listen to learn about relationships that are too lopsided.
Jul 19, 2016 · 10 min
Relationship Success; What is the #1 Secret
Relationship survival is something people should be able to learn more about in College. It's one of the best parts of life, yet it is a mystery to most people. Listen to learn the primary secret to success!
Jun 13, 2016 · 13 min
How to Be a TEAM in a Relationship
Couples have to evolve over time. Evolving as a Team means that the two of you together solve the puzzle of your strengths & weaknesses & how they can work together. Of all the Couples you know, how many are actually a team?
Apr 11, 2016 · 10 min
Relationships are a Dance in the Messiness of Life
What can help with the annoyances over differences when love & idealization wear off? You have to learn to respect the differences which is work, instead of pretending things aren’t that bad. Read more at: therapy ideas.net
Mar 22, 2016 · 9 min
O.J & Drama in Relationships
Drama is about manipulation. Manipulation is about winning, not truth. The brilliance of O.J’s lawyers was all about flipping him from the persecutor into the blameless victim & asking the jury to rescue him which is illustrated in the fine FX show.
Mar 1, 2016 · 9 min
Relationships Require Vulnerability
Manipulation is the core of the Drama Triangle. This game creates confusion & upset, not solutions or a path to truth. Denial is a huge part in the role of Rescuer.Drama is all about power & winning.
Feb 1, 2016 · 8 min
Relationships Require We Recongnize Our Own Dark Side
If you recognize your own dark side you will be a better candidate for love & relationships. It’s important to recognize our part in problems instead of taking comfort in blame.
Jan 10, 2016 · 7 min
We All Want a Relationship with a Clone
Deep down we all want people to be like ourselves, then it would be oh, so much easier. Love can easily disintegrate into this unspoken demand that you should be more like me.
Dec 29, 2015 · 15 min
#15 How to Approach Problems in a Relationship
How do you approach hard topics in a relationship? You will learn 4 specific ways to communicate about problems. It’s important to dialogue not have parallel monologues.
Nov 30, 2015 · 10 min
Obsessive Partners Can Be Annoying in Relationships
Obsessiveness can crowd & suffocate the other partner. Obsessiveness is because of anxiety. Obsessive people can be full of “shoulds” & being correct which can lead to self-righteousness.

What Healthy Couples Know That You Don't: Relationship Advice and Respect

Boring Relationship? How to get Out of the Rut

Trust Demands a Softening in Attitude

Relationships Demand Personal Responsibility

15 Ways to Encourage Relationship Survival

Contempt Takes 2 in Relationships

People-pleasing is a Danger in Relationships

What Destroys Contentment in Relationships?

Anger Management to GROW Relationships

Relationships, Keeping it Real with Rhoda

What is the Biggest Obstacle to Relationship Success?

Dating Advice: What Everybody Needs to Know

Relationship Success; What is the #1 Secret

How to Be a TEAM in a Relationship

Relationships are a Dance in the Messiness of Life

O.J & Drama in Relationships

Relationships Require Vulnerability

Relationships Require We Recongnize Our Own Dark Side

We All Want a Relationship with a Clone

#15 How to Approach Problems in a Relationship

Obsessive Partners Can Be Annoying in Relationships