What Healthy Couples Know That You Don't: Relationship Advice and Respect

Rhoda Sommer LCSW

Relationships matter. Do you want to know the nitty gritty of what makes a relationship work? Get your answers to relationship questions. Learn how to keep respect alive & well, because lack of respect is why people get divorced. Learn what builds trust & how to recover from infidelity, drama or codependency. Advice from psychotherapist Rhoda Sommer based on over 35 years of working with couples. www.therapyideas.net

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174 episodes
Updated Wednesday

Episodes174

Newest first

Nov 16, 2023 · 41 min
Sleep: Separating Fact from Fiction for Better Sleep and Stronger Relationships
Sleep is a universal experience that affects everyone. Sleep is particularly relevant to relationships, as poor sleep habits can impact both partners and cause relationship stress. Sleep disorders can also affect sexual intimacy, emotional regulation, and communication within relationships.
Oct 23, 2023 · 43 min
Building Trust: The Foundation of Strong Relationships
Trust is one of the most important elements in a relationship. It gives it its foundation, making sure everything else can fall into place and stay there. Without trust, relationships don't stand much chance for success - infidelity or poor communication can lead to disputes which often cause hurt feelings on both sides involved. So if you're looking for advice on building trustworthy bonds with those around you then come join us as we explore all aspects related to creating such an environment!
Oct 2, 2023 · 48 min
Unlocking The Secret To No More Arguing
Couples need guidance for navigating conflict wisely and skillfully. Hearing what someone has to say is integral in communication, particularly when working through a conflict. Being able to really listen and take in another person's perspective can be the difference between resolving an argument or making it worse. Good listening means hearing them out without judgment, being curious instead of critical. Curiosity keeps the door open. Criticalness slams the door shut.
Sep 12, 2023 · 20 min
Relationships with Yourself & Others While In Recovery
Recovery can be very difficult because of shame. Shame is an obstacle to healing for everybody. How do you face hard truths about your own dark side without drowning in the shame? Learn how to balance the footprint of shame that stomps on your soul. The only way to continue to respect that your partner's generosity is used up is to recognize that actions speak louder than words. The work of recovery is totally worth it!
Aug 21, 2023 · 43 min
IMPROVE PARENTING TEENS & REDUCE STRESS ON COUPLES
Parenting teens can be a struggle and an additional stress on relationships. Your sweet easy to maneuver children turn into road blocks & obstacles. Parents wonder what happened & where did they go wrong. It's really not about what went wrong it's about understanding you've entered a new world and you have to find the flexibility to do things differently. Teens are hungry for respect & the power to decide things.
Jul 31, 2023 · 46 min
Relationship Goals: Prioritizing Personal Fulfillment for Lasting Love
We'll explore how prioritizing our own personal growth and self-care can translate into stronger and more fulfilling relationships with our partners. We'll also be sharing tips and strategies for cultivating a sense of inner fulfillment and well-being, and how to apply these principles to our relationships.
Jul 11, 2023 · 55 min
Unpacking The Benefits Of A Healthy Sex Life
Insights from a Sex Therapist Expert. Why not prioritize your sex life and wellness? Listen if you are curious about how your sex life stacks up against the rest of America. Did you know that men feel greater distress when they're not content with their sex life? Communication is key if you are looking to improve satisfaction in your sexual relationship.
Jun 21, 2023 · 32 min
Creating A More Satisfying Relationship
Relationships can be very confusing. We are taught reading, science, history & if we are lucky sex ed but not anything about what creates trust, why repair is important or how to communicate especially when we are vulnerable. Learning about connections, how to build them & keep them is sorely missing. This episode will fill that knowledge gap!
May 30, 2023 · 32 min
How To Make Conflict Work For Real Intimacy
We all believe it is ideal not to fight, this is complete fantasy. The only way to have real intimacy is to be authentic about our differences instead of swallowing our secret truths. We all want to avoid the messiness of conflict and being uncomfortable which is short term thinking. We all make excuses easily "I didn't want to hurt you" which is really about avoiding hard conversations which leads to a mountain of resentments long term.
May 8, 2023 · 23 sec
Embracing Conflict To Improve Your Relationships
People love to avoid conflict because it is messy. Conflict makes people uncomfortable and they don't like not knowing what will happen. Conflict is really important to growing up. My definition of growing up is honestly facing painful situations. Conflict offers an opportunity to grow up, and it's certainly not easy. Learn in this episode how to step into conflict in a respectful way.
Apr 19, 2023 · 1 hr 6 min
CULTURE AS A CONNECTION COUPLES CAN SHARE
There are different ways for couples to be connected; mutual religion as a shared values system, all the many physical activities of tennis, rock climbing, dancing or kayaking. Having shared connections of the ways you enjoy life together really matters. Culture offers so much to anyone as an individual or as a couple. David Brooks describes a piece of art…"as a portal to a deeper realm of the mind…art has the potential to humanize the beholder."
Mar 27, 2023 · 22 min
Ingredients for Relationship Longevity; Imagination, Attention & Gumption
Longevity in relationships slips so easily through our fingers, it's not a simple or small achievement, unless one partner is almost always submissive & not resentful about their wants being ignored. Two adults who are equal in sharing power over priorities, values & decision making have to be involved in constant work together over the decades. This requires partners have imagination, attention & gumption.
Mar 1, 2023 · 35 min
Empowering Men To Understand Problems In Relationships
This episode is for men who want to do better but don't begin or to know how & their partners who love them. Women often feel misunderstood & men feel like "What more can I do?" and giving up becomes the path with the least pain attached. This episode is to give men guidance on how to grow into even better versions of themselves…which I believe is the great purpose of relationships.
Feb 1, 2023 · 37 min
EXHAUSTED WOMEN & WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT
Tiredness is often a triangle of trouble that includes guilt & fears. Wading through those feelings is no small task. They stick to your soul like gum on the bottom of your shoe & contaminate your belief in yourself. It helps to remember that your feelings are not facts. Thoughtfully consider what is the evidence for your feelings & don't put so much weight on them as accurate.
Jan 2, 2023 · 23 min
MOTIVATION FOR THE WORK OF LOVE
What motivates you to have a better relationship or even a better life? Because it will take work. Do you do the work of loving someone? It's work to accept the parts you find annoying or tedious - it's work to make yourself understood - it's work to listen to disagreement - it's work to respect the differences. It's work to to survive important values collisions. It's work in a frantic/busy life to find one-on-one time to deepen your relationship instead of avoiding difficult conversations.
Dec 1, 2022 · 36 min
Let's Talk About Online Dating & The Data
Dating is really hard work because there is so much uncertainty. Dating is a dance of two people not knowing each other & trying to figure out is it worth spending more of your precious time with this person. It takes time to really know someone. Dating can be both exhausting & discouraging if your interest is not reciprocated. Today's interview is with the Head of Global Communications for OKCUPID.
Nov 1, 2022 · 47 min
Male Depression & Emotional Inexpressiveness
Often men keep from being vulnerable by being vague, especially about feelings. Feelings are avoided because they are confusing or hard to identify. Men often aren't encouraged to talk about their feelings. In fact, they're sometimes discouraged from doing so. Additionally, men often tend to shy away from vulnerable conversations. This cultural expectation can easily make things more difficult for men in relationships.
Oct 3, 2022 · 18 min
Understanding The Relationships Between Top Dogs & People-pleasers
This is an ordinary relationship pattern and it offers a real opportunity for both people to grow & improve who they are. People-pleasers of course go along to get along, they are helpful & kind & often neglect their own needs. A Top Dog goes after their own wants with clarity & drive, and they can neglect others before they will neglect themselves. Opposites attract is exactly why this is a pattern that can be observed in so many relationships.
Sep 1, 2022 · 49 min
People-pleasing In Relationships & What To Do About It
People-pleasing is all about being heavily lopsided in pleasing others as a way of gaining their approval & maintaining relationships. People-pleasing is of course on a continuum, at work in a subordinate role & to fit in socially it is very useful. Less useful are those people-pleasers who end up erasing their authentic self in relationships. People-pleasers have to learn to make conflict & disagreement bearable because this is normal. Stop & consider that conflict increases intimacy & your relationships will be less superficial.
Aug 1, 2022 · 51 min
Sex & Sexual Desire in Long Term Relationships
Sexuality is a complex, crucial activity. Only on television where couples reach maximum orgasm easily. Our interest in sex naturally ebbs and flows over the course of a long- term relationship as we age or deal with life changes— It's important to keep in mind that researchers have reliably found that individuals who accept these fluctuations as normal and natural are more sexually satisfied when they hit a bump.

What Healthy Couples Know That You Don't: Relationship Advice and Respect

Sleep: Separating Fact from Fiction for Better Sleep and Stronger Relationships

Building Trust: The Foundation of Strong Relationships

Unlocking The Secret To No More Arguing

Relationships with Yourself & Others While In Recovery

IMPROVE PARENTING TEENS & REDUCE STRESS ON COUPLES

Relationship Goals: Prioritizing Personal Fulfillment for Lasting Love

Unpacking The Benefits Of A Healthy Sex Life

Creating A More Satisfying Relationship

How To Make Conflict Work For Real Intimacy

Embracing Conflict To Improve Your Relationships

CULTURE AS A CONNECTION COUPLES CAN SHARE

Ingredients for Relationship Longevity; Imagination, Attention & Gumption

Empowering Men To Understand Problems In Relationships

EXHAUSTED WOMEN & WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

MOTIVATION FOR THE WORK OF LOVE

Let's Talk About Online Dating & The Data

Male Depression & Emotional Inexpressiveness

Understanding The Relationships Between Top Dogs & People-pleasers

People-pleasing In Relationships & What To Do About It

Sex & Sexual Desire in Long Term Relationships