WarHams - Narrative Declaration

Wrath & Glory – Ep. 9 – Blown out of Proportions

The crew discovers a storeroom full of smuggled Emperor's Tarot decks and a monk who broke his vow of silence. A kitchen full of Gretchin becomes a three-hour war crime that nobody asked for. Aloysius tries to build a car engine inside a Grot. The thigh bone is reportedly in the solarium. Getting there requires surviving Roos's creative problem-solving. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Host Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Odo - Guest HulkyKrow - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/

The Finale

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com Scarbrand is screaming. A C'tan is loose. And the only way to cage a star god is three hands on a Necron plinth while a daemon the size of a building tries to kill you. Chonkus throws Pi Brain like a bullet. Reeb finds de Fuckerby dying under rubble, grants him one final monologue, and grinds a boot heel into his skull. The prison reactivates. The crew limps home to a standing ovation from ratlings, gang members, and one very relieved child. Reeb makes Interrogator. Pi Brain gets recalled to Lemuria -- a real tech priest at last. Zedek inherits a second ship he will absolutely destroy. They leave teacups where only the others will find them, and fade to black as Tater Tot waves goodbye to the golden ghost of an old Fenrisian psyker walking into the stars. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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The Confrontation

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com Cyclonic torpedoes are falling. Lorne catches one with his mind and flings it back at Inquisitor Melchior's ship. A rattling army launches planetside in double-stacked Arvis lighters blasting Skeleton Warriors at full volume. On the surface, de Fuckerby has already activated the prison -- a C'tan shard tears free, Scarbrand erupts from the warp behind it, and Lorne burns himself out of reality to stop the summoning. Three chuckle fucks and one ogryn are all that's left between two warring gods and a galaxy-ending mistake. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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Home Sweet Home

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com The Webway spits them out through Zedek's sentient closet and back onto the Debt Collector -- cleaned, repaired, and occupied by the enemy. Belba Creepfoot has been living in a cardboard box the whole time, commanding a potato-squad of ratlings from the shadows. De Fuckerby took the Tot. The crew descends into the sewers for the third time, reconciles with Gamu 4224 -- who has discovered that perfection without chaos is its own kind of hell -- and arms up for the final push to the Strategium. One frag grenade. One Lemurian box. One very long crawl. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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The Choice

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com Reeb's personal code opened a Biologus lab that thinks he's its master, and now the Chaos Gods are taking turns. A squid-shaped Khorne entity offers Pi Brain a demonic Skitarii legion -- then tells him he's already a servant of the Blood God, every murder on the lower decks a skull offered without prayer. Pi breaks. Zedek talks him down. Then a zombie horde pours through the blast doors, the crew runs, and Church wakes up in cryo on the other side -- alive, confused, and two thousand years late to the conversation. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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Xenos Intervention

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com The suicide mission is over. The crew wakes up in a cave on the wrong planet -- dragged through the webway by an Eldar ranger who watched them fail and decided they were still useful. De Fuckerby isn't just a thief. He's collecting shards of gods older than the Eldar themselves, and the Farseers say this idiot Rogue Trader crew is the only blind spot in his warped reality. The price of passage: walk the Dark Road, a warp-breached corridor where Slaanesh keeps the lights on. Zedek gets a ballroom full of sycophants, the sound of his dead father's boots on marble, and the promise of everything he ever wanted. He stabs it in the chest. The crew's friendship is the only thing real enough to break the spell -- and on the other side, a sealed Biologus facility hisses open to a code only Reeb would know. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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The Green Tide

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com Four weeks of birthday cake and no ammo. The flak cannon keeps their ship grounded, the colonel needs a suicide squad, and De Fuckerby just called to say he stole the Debt Collector. Now the crew marches uphill into an Ork army with pocket worms, a kazoo, and a distillery made of fondant. Diversion force. No extraction. Worms. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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Imperial Warzone

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com An Ork-besieged moon. A guard base running on fumes. And a smiling trooper who shares the last name of the man Reeb mercy-killed three episodes ago. The Primarch sends the crew to deliver war supplies to Fimbria IV's fourth moon, where the "containment strategy" is just making the exclusion zone bigger. Pi Brain destroys the medbay, Zedek deploys a thousand dog soldiers, and the astropath whispers that countless eyes are watching from the warp. Then Trooper Hest gets sent on patrol -- and the rescue mission nobody planned for begins. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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Interrogation

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com De Fuckerby's trail points to the outer planets -- but before the crew can chase it, the Inquisition comes calling. Interrogator Landon settles onto the nicest couch the Debt Collector has ever seen, puts on Silent Hill music, and politely asks the party to justify every catastrophe since Episode 1. Meanwhile, Zedek buys five thousand dog soldiers with signed books, and Pi Brain keeps seeing a ghost in a nightgown that nobody else can. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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PVP

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com Lorne cheats at cards with warp magic. The Turalyans go Khornate. And before the dust settles, the crew splits -- Red Team versus Blue Team, 2Fort-style, fighting over a single card slot while a Gnarlok dubbed "the blood chicken" nearly TPKs everyone in the sewer. Lorne levitates to victory. The chicken nods in respect. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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The Mercenary Games

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com Days are missing from Pi Brain's conspiracy board and the warp won't let anyone see them. De Fuckerby's trail leads underground -- to a mining planet where noble families wage proxy wars through xenos mercenaries for refinery control. Zedek calls a Kroot a chicken, gets shot, and trades his shoulder pad to recruit it. The "Information Center" is a cantina. The mercenary games have already begun. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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The Throne Room

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com Golden doors open to Hallelujah. A chaos spawn fused to the captain's throne reads their souls aloud and nearly kills the crew before Pi Brain's overcharged plasma gun blows it apart -- but the warp makes Lorne so swole his bones crack, torpedoes are inbound from the Marengo, and the last thing the camera catches is a crewman's head spinning 180 degrees to whisper: "We boarded." Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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They Boarded

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com Possessed crewmen flood every corridor. Cherub swarms choke the maglev tracks. Lorne's psychic scream pops every baby head in twenty-five meters -- buying just enough time to catch a tram, loot a pristine medbay, and suit up in dead missionary power armor. Then something strips Lorne bare, chains him to a chair, and whispers: "Your friends have given me much." Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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Holiness is Cleanliness

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com A rival Rogue Trader won't even let Zedek speak to her -- cruiser-class ships outrank manners. The crew talks their way aboard the derelict Carillon instead, where thousands of somethings skitter from the searchlights, a cherub caked in dried blood hums while smearing the mess around, and a possessed crewman whispers "we boarded" before detonating. Something much bigger hasn't noticed them yet. The clock is ticking, and the cleaning babies are following. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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Death Cult

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com Death cult assassins are minutes from poisoning an entire hive city's water supply. Pi Brain hacks a severed servitor head for moral support, Reeb kicks an assassin into a turbine, and Lorne's psychic crush holds the line while Zedek whiffs every finishing blow. They stop the poison. Then Lecoq's cruiser slides between them and the drifting Carillon -- claiming salvage rights. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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Croikey

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com Something is poisoning the water supply of Fimbria Majoris, and the cult that stole the evidence just slit the throat of the only official who knew. The crew splits up to investigate — Reeb dissects a crime scene, Zedek picks up a drug habit from sewer informants, and Pi Brain builds a cheese-grater torture device to interrogate bar patrons by the book. Then they go underground, where warp-migrating crocodilians are already waiting in the dark. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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The Laughter of Thirsting Closets

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com Season two. New mission, new system, same haunted wardrobe. The Inquisition is under review, a rival Rogue Trader dynasty already owns the territory, and the Primarchs are inbound — meaning one wrong move near Fimbria Majoris could unravel the entire Crusade. But first, the crew must survive Zedek's sentient walk-in closet, which dresses you in finery and strips you of sanity. Chonkis got promoted. The Dark Eldar got spaced. The closet remains undefeated. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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Space Pirates

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com Drukhari loose in the dark. Splinter rounds in every wall. A pirate shanty echoing down the corridors. The crew fights through a prison station with nothing but a Skitarii's face-mounted flashlight and stolen shotguns — until Lorne fires every ounce of prison muscle out of his body as a molten beam, Zedek runs a sword through the Sybarite and makes her watch her own ship explode, and a convict army led by an ogryn screaming "I'm top bitch now" crashes the party. Season one goes out swinging. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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Prison Changes a Man

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com The cathedral is a broom closet. The preacher is a brainwashed Lemurian. The prison's luckiest man just got punched into his own funeral pyre. Chonkus clears the riot, Zedek recruits convicts with promises of barbecue, and Lorne emerges from solitary doing pull-ups with a bomb collar on his neck — then armored xenos rip a hole in reality, drag off the Supreme Judge, and kill the lights. The hunt begins. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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Pi Hard

https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/ All WarHams episodes are now on the new WarHams feed: https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com The crew wakes up in cells. No weapons, no warrant of trade, no proof anyone is who they say they are — and the warden wants his family jewels back. Reeb befriends an ogryn who turns people into jam, Pi Brain crawls through the vents with a shank made of ductwork, and Ro Hector finally talks: de Fuckerby pulled xenos shards from the pyramid and hasn't been right since. Then Pi seizes the command tower, opens every door in the prison, and declares the whole station under Lemurian jurisdiction. Die hard. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com System: WH40K Wrath & Glory Click here to watch a video of this episode. Creators & Guests ZoranTheWizard - Guest Thurston Hillman - Host SpeakerD - Guest Earndil - Guest HulkyKrow 📺👺 - Guest Click here to view the episode transcript. https://warhams.narrativedeclaration.com/

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