24. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross on The Five Stages of Grief
In this episode we unpack Swiss Psychiatrist and Author Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's classic book "On Death and Dying" from 1969. This book explores... The Fear of Death in the Modern Age The Five Stages of Grief Advice for Navigating the 5 Stages of Grief Links to Reading & Articles mentioned On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross The Trauma of Birth by Otto Rank Uses of the Erotic by Audrey Lorde Illness as Metaphor by Susan Sontag Empathy vs. Sympathy by Brene Brown (video) *note* reading is not required to enjoy this episode! Host: Zach Stehura UnpackingIdeas.com Guest: Andrea Dispenziere Psychology Today Theme Music: Polyenso Timestamps 00:00:00 Introduction 00:02:58 Autumn’s Association with Death 00:06:15 Reminding Ourselves of our Mortality 00:13:19 Fear of Death in the Modern Age 00:14:40 Decline in Infant Mortality 00:17:25 Impersonal Treatment of Terminal Patients 00:24:29 The Illusion of Control 00:25:39 Summary of Kubler-Ross’s Interview Project 00:28:10 Verbal Ventilation 00:28:59 Importance of Meaning/Purpose 00:33:38 Mourning the Loss of Certain Abilities before Death 00:36:42 The Five Stages of Grief 00:38:23 Stage 1: Denial 00:39:18 Euphemism 00:40:51 Emotional Detachment 00:46:00 The Stigma of Denial 00:48:50 The Last Stage of the 5 stages of grief is the First Step of the 12 steps Program 00:50:05 The Link between Denial and Hope 00:52:16 Shock and Numbness 00:53:22 The Connection between Isolation and Denial 00:55:24 Stage 2: Anger 00:55:29 Anger at God 00:57:06 Anger at Oneself 00:59:05 Victim Blaming 01:01:00 Anger at the Living 01:02:16 Stage 3: Bargaining 01:02:54 Ambivalence 01:04:50 Bargaining with God 01:05:43 Reneging on the “Agreement” 01:10:45 Stage 4: Depression 01:10:49 Reactive vs. Preparatory Depression 01:12:47 Telling the Depressed Person to “Cheer Up” 01:14:15 Grieving your Anticipated Future 01:18:49 Sitting with the Person in Whatever Stage They’re In 01:21:28 Stage 5: Acceptance 01:21:36 Detaching from Life 01:22:30 Conflating Acceptance as “Quitting” 01:23:30 Difficulty Accepting Death in a Masculine Culture 01:25:57 Need for Solitude at End of Life 01:29:12 Kubler-Ross’s View of Death and Dying 01:30:30 Wrapping up/Outro