UNCOACHED

Flag Football, Fatherhood, and Raising Good Kids

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with Jesse Carstairs, a men's relationship coach and competitive youth flag football coach, to talk about how the lessons kids learn through sports can shape who they become off the field. We explore the growing popularity of flag football, the challenges of coaching your own children, and why developing character should be just as important as developing athletic skills. Jesse also shares his perspective on fatherhood, teaching accountability, and how parents and volunteer coaches can use everyday moments in youth sports to help raise confident, responsible young people. Questions we cover in this episode: Flag football is growing quickly. What makes the sport so appealing to kids, and what valuable lessons are young athletes learning that people might underestimate? Your work focuses on helping men become better husbands, fathers, and leaders. How does that influence what you're trying to develop in young athletes beyond their football skills? Coaching your own kids can be incredibly rewarding, but it can also blur the lines between being Dad and being Coach. How do you balance those two roles? If we're ultimately trying to raise good people, what character traits should youth coaches intentionally develop, and how can we teach those qualities through sports? Youth athletes have plenty of opportunities to blame referees, coaches, teammates, or circumstances when things go wrong. How can we teach kids to take ownership and develop real accountability? Bonus Question: If one of the kids you coach runs into you 20 years from now, what would make you feel like you succeeded as their coach?

What Youth Sports Can Learn from Rugby

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with Nate Dalena, Executive Director of Rugby NorCal, to explore a youth sport that many parents and coaches may not know much about. We talk about how kids are safely introduced to rugby, why the game puts so much decision-making in the hands of the athletes, and how its culture teaches respect alongside physical competition. Nate also shares what rugby can teach the broader youth sports world about developing independent athletes, creating appropriate competition, and giving kids another way to fall in love with sports. Questions we cover in this episode: What makes rugby different from other major youth sports, and what can kids get from playing it that they might not experience elsewhere? What does a first rugby practice look like for a 9- or 10-year-old, and how are contact and tackling introduced in an age-appropriate way? Rugby requires athletes to make a lot of decisions without a coach directing every play. How does that influence the way young players are trained, and does it help develop more independent athletes? How does Rugby NorCal create meaningful competition across different ages and ability levels without making everything about finding the "best" team or highest level? Rugby is incredibly physical, but it's also known for its culture of respect and sportsmanship. Where does that culture come from, and how do you intentionally teach it to young athletes? Bonus Question: If a kid already loves football, soccer, hockey, basketball, or another sport, what's your pitch to their parents for giving rugby a try for one season?

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What Real Player Development Looks Like

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with Anthony Brenner, who brings more than 30 years of experience coaching and developing athletes from youth soccer through the professional level. We talk about what real player development should look like, why the environment around a young athlete matters so much, and what experienced coaches and scouts notice that parents might miss from the sideline. Anthony also shares perspective on balancing big athletic goals with the reality that most kids won’t play professionally, and how parents and volunteer coaches can support development without adding unnecessary pressure. Questions we cover in this episode: After working with athletes from the youth level through the pros, what do you think we’re getting right and wrong about “player development” in youth sports? You say developing better players starts with developing better environments. What does a great environment actually look and feel like for the kids on a volunteer coach’s team? What do experienced scouts and coaches notice in young athletes that the average parent might miss? Are there certain traits you wish parents and coaches supported more? Coaches are working with a small percentage of athletes who may reach an elite level and a much larger group who won’t. How should that reality change the way we coach and develop kids? Parents naturally want to help their kids succeed, but sometimes that help becomes pressure. Where should parents be involved, and where should they get better at stepping back? Bonus Question: After more than 30 years around the game, what’s something you once believed about developing young athletes that you no longer believe today?

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Playing for Something More: Keeping Youth Sports in Perspective

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with Jordan Elder, pastor, coach, sports parent, and author of Playing for Something More, to talk about what happens when youth sports start taking up too much space in our families’ lives. We explore the pressure around performance and achievement, how to help kids separate who they are from how they play, and the role parents and coaches can have in developing values that last long after the season ends. Jordan also brings a faith-based perspective to the conversation as we look at how kids can compete, chase big goals, and love sports without letting the scoreboard define the experience. Questions we cover in this episode: When did you first start thinking, “We may have taken this whole youth sports thing a little too far,” and what were you seeing that concerned you? Why is it so easy for well-intentioned parents to let scholarships, achievement, competition, and sports become a bigger part of their family’s identity than they intended? With rankings, stats, tryouts, playing time, wins, and losses everywhere, how can parents help kids separate “how I performed today” from “who I am”? As a pastor and coach, what Christian values do you believe sports can help develop in kids, and how can parents and coaches be intentional about building them? You write about gentleness in a culture of criticism, especially on the sidelines and during the car ride home. What do kids actually need from us in those emotional moments after a difficult game? Bonus Question: If you could convince every sports parent to stop chasing one thing and start prioritizing one thing, what would those two things be?

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Bringing the Joy Back to Youth Sports

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with Jon Orr, founder of the Sports Reclamation Project, to talk about where youth sports may have lost its way and how parents and coaches can help bring the joy back. Drawing from decades of coaching and his experience as a military veteran, Jon shares a unique perspective on leadership, coach burnout, the pressure to chase better teams and bigger opportunities, and why development should matter more than simply collecting wins. It’s a conversation about taking an honest look at the youth sports experience and making sure the kids are still at the center of it. Questions we cover in this episode: Your mission with the Sports Reclamation Project is to "bring the joy back to youth sports." Where do you think we started losing that joy, and what are adults getting wrong? You describe the chase for better teams, exposure, rankings, and scholarships as the "race to nowhere." How can parents tell the difference between providing opportunities and getting caught up in that race? After 25 years of coaching, you've been open about experiencing burnout yourself. What are we asking of youth coaches that's making good people want to walk away, and what needs to change? What did your military experience teach you about leadership that has influenced the way you coach kids? And what parts of military-style leadership don't belong in youth sports? If winning isn't the best measure of a youth coach's success, what should parents actually look for when evaluating their child's season? Bonus Question: If we handed youth sports completely back to the kids for one season and let them redesign the experience, what do you think they'd keep, and what would they immediately get rid of?

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Building Better Youth Sports: Why Strong Local Leagues Still Matter

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with Paul Dippolito of Clutch Sports, who turned his passion for improving youth sports into building a soccer league in his own community. We talk about what it means to build a youth sports program around a clear mission, why strong local and recreational leagues still matter, and what parents, coaches, and league leaders can do to create a better experience for kids. Paul also shares some practical perspective for anyone who has ever looked at their local sports program and thought, there has to be a better way. Questions we cover in this episode: You built a youth soccer league in your own community. What did you see in the existing youth sports system that made you think, "We can do this differently or better?" You talk about building leagues from the mission down. What does that mean, and how does a clear mission influence decisions around coaches, competition, playing time, and parents? With so much attention on club and travel sports, why are strong community-based and recreational leagues still so important to the future of youth sports? If a local youth league feels like it has lost its way, what are two or three realistic changes that could make the experience noticeably better for kids and families? For the parent or coach who's thought, "I could build a better youth sports program," what do they need to understand before actually trying to start one? Bonus Question: If you could redesign youth sports from scratch and weren't allowed to copy the system we have today, what would you build differently?

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Developing the Complete Athlete: What Youth Sports Can Learn from Lacrosse

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with Jerimee Moses from True Lacrosse, one of the largest youth lacrosse organizations in the country, to talk about developing young athletes the right way. We explore what makes lacrosse such a unique sport, what real player development should look like beyond wins and team placement, and why patience matters when kids are still learning. Even if lacrosse isn't your sport, this conversation offers plenty of practical perspective for youth sports parents and volunteer coaches. Questions we cover in this episode: What makes lacrosse uniquely valuable for young athletes compared with some of the other sports they could be playing? True Lacrosse focuses on developing the complete athlete. What does great development actually look like for younger players, and what should parents pay attention to beyond goals, wins, and team placement? What's one trait you consistently see in kids who continue improving year after year that has nothing to do with talent? What's one thing youth coaches spend too much time worrying about, and what's something they don't spend nearly enough time on? What's something you see parents rushing young lacrosse players toward that you'd rather see them slow down and develop first? Bonus Question: If you were trying to convince a 9- or 10-year-old who's never picked up a lacrosse stick to give the sport a try, what would you tell them is the most fun thing about lacrosse?

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Travel Tips Every Sports Parent Should Know

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with Jen Risley, a sports mom and creator of the Sports Pregame app, to talk about a part of youth sports every travel family knows well: tournament weekends. We get into the lessons Jen has learned navigating youth sports, the common mistakes that make tournament travel more stressful, and some practical ways parents can save time, money, and a little sanity along the way. Questions we cover in this episode: Youth sports can be incredibly rewarding, but they can also be overwhelming. What are some of the biggest lessons you've learned as a parent navigating it all? Was there a specific moment or experience that made you realize tournament families needed better information and resources? Parents spend a lot of time planning around tournaments. What are some mistakes you see families make over and over that create unnecessary stress? What are some of the best tournament hacks you've learned that can save sports families time, money, or sanity? If you could sit down with every new sports parent before their first travel tournament, what's one piece of advice you'd give them that would save the most time, money, or frustration? Bonus Question: If you could magically fix one thing about the youth sports tournament experience tomorrow, what would it be and why?

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Teaching Players a Smarter Way

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with Tim Maycock, longtime coach, educator, and founder of SCOPRO Soccer, to talk about what great coaching really looks like. We explore how young athletes learn best, why decision-making is one of the most important skills coaches can develop, and simple ways to create practices that keep every player engaged instead of standing in line. Whether you coach soccer or another youth sport, this conversation is packed with practical ideas to help parents and volunteer coaches develop smarter, more confident athletes. Questions we cover in this episode: Looking back on your years of coaching, what challenge made you realize there had to be a better way to teach the game? What separates players who simply know the game from those who can read and anticipate what's happening around them, and can coaches intentionally teach that skill? Great practices keep every player engaged. What are some things the best youth coaches do to keep kids thinking and learning instead of waiting for their turn? If we want athletes to become better decision-makers, how should coaches balance giving instructions with allowing players to figure things out for themselves? Parents naturally notice goals, assists, and wins. What are some of the small improvements you look for that tell you a player is truly developing, even if it doesn't show up on the scoreboard? Bonus Question: What's something you've completely changed your mind about as a coach over the last 10 to 15 years, and how has it changed the way you teach young athletes?

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ADHD, Anxiety, and Youth Sports: How Parents and Coaches Can Help Young Athletes Thrive

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with Dr. Carey Heller, a licensed psychologist who specializes in working with children and teens with ADHD, anxiety, executive functioning challenges, and learning differences. We explore how these challenges can show up in youth sports, what parents and volunteer coaches often misunderstand, and simple, practical ways to help young athletes stay focused, build confidence, manage emotions, and enjoy competing. Whether you're coaching a team or supporting your own child, this conversation is full of insights that can help every athlete feel more successful both on and off the field. Questions we cover in this episode: Parents and coaches sometimes mistake ADHD behaviors for laziness, lack of effort, or simply not paying attention. What are some common signs of ADHD adults might notice in a sports setting, and what misconceptions often lead us to misinterpret those behaviors? If you walked onto the practice field with a volunteer coach who had several athletes with ADHD, what are two or three simple changes you would recommend that could immediately help those kids succeed? Sports can be emotional, and many kids with ADHD struggle after mistakes or when they feel frustrated. What are some practical ways parents and coaches can help them reset and get back into the game instead of spiraling? If there's one piece of advice you'd give parents raising a young athlete with ADHD, what would it be? What do those kids need to hear and experience most from the adults supporting them? Every athlete gets nervous before a game at some point. How can parents and coaches tell the difference between healthy pre-game nerves and anxiety that's actually holding a child back? What are some simple things adults can do to help? Bonus Question: Imagine there's a coach listening right now who just found out one of their players has ADHD. What's the first thing you hope that coach understands before they step onto the field for their next practice?

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Helping Young Athletes Build Confidence, Emotional Intelligence, and Mental Strength

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with Libby Triolo, a performance coach who helps young athletes develop the mental and emotional skills that often make the biggest difference in sports. We explore how parents and volunteer coaches can help kids build confidence, handle mistakes, manage emotions, and develop the resilience needed to thrive through both the highs and lows of competition. If you're looking for practical youth sports advice that helps athletes enjoy the game while growing both on and off the field, this conversation is full of simple, actionable takeaways. Questions we cover in this episode: Parents and coaches spend a lot of time teaching skills, but not always emotions. If emotional intelligence was treated like another skill to practice, what would that actually look like for a young athlete? After a tough game, how can parents and coaches recognize what an athlete actually needs emotionally instead of immediately offering advice? You talk a lot about self-awareness. What are a few simple habits young athletes can build to become more self-aware and mentally stronger throughout a season? Many athletes believe they're supposed to feel confident all the time. Is confidence really the goal, or are there other mental skills that matter even more under pressure? Youth sports can become an emotional roller coaster for athletes, parents, and coaches alike. How can adults create an environment where kids feel safe to learn, compete, and make mistakes? Bonus Question: If you could eliminate one phrase from youth sports forever, what would it be, and what would you replace it with?

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Building Better Youth Athletes: Coaching, Tryouts, and Player Development

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with Jason Fetters, a longtime baseball coach, founder of a player-focused youth baseball club, and creator of Practice OS, a coaching app that helps coaches build more effective practices. We dive into the pressure of today's youth baseball tryout system, what meaningful player development really looks like, and how volunteer coaches can create practices that help athletes improve while keeping the game fun. Questions we cover in this episode: Families often feel like they have just 24 or 48 hours to make a decision after tryouts. Do you think the youth baseball tryout system is broken, and what would you change? You've built a baseball club around teaching the game "the right way." What does that actually look like beyond wins and losses? What separates a coach who's simply running drills from one who's truly developing players? If you took over a brand-new youth baseball team tomorrow, what are the three things you'd focus on during the first month to have the biggest impact on player development? Parents often judge coaches by wins. If you could convince every parent to measure a coach by something else instead, what would it be? Bonus Question: What's something that's become completely normal in youth baseball today that you think we'll look back on ten years from now and wonder, "Why did we ever do it that way?"

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Sports Psychology Tips Every Parent and Coach Should Know

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with Katie Castle, a registered psychologist and youth sports performance specialist, to explore the mental side of youth sports and what parents and volunteer coaches can do to help kids thrive. We discuss confidence, healthy aggression, pressure, fear of mistakes, and the growing professionalization of youth sports, along with practical strategies for creating an environment where young athletes can compete, grow, and enjoy the game. Questions we cover in this episode: Coaches and parents often say, “Be more confident” or “Be more aggressive.” What’s the relationship between confidence and aggression in youth sports, and how can adults help kids develop both in a healthy way? You’ve worked with athletes from age seven through high school. What’s one mistake well-meaning parents and coaches make that slowly chips away at a child’s confidence? You’ve spoken about the professionalization of youth sports. What concerns you most about the direction youth sports is heading, and what can families do to keep the experience healthy while still allowing kids to chase big goals? Parents often wonder if they’re pushing too hard or not enough. What are some signs that a child is experiencing healthy challenge versus unhealthy pressure? If you had five minutes with every volunteer coach before their first practice of the season, what’s the one piece of psychological advice you’d give them that would have the biggest positive impact on their players? Bonus Question: Imagine a talented 10-year-old athlete tells you, “I’m afraid to make a mistake.” What’s the first conversation you have with that child, and what’s the first conversation you have with their parents?

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Building Confidence and Mental Toughness in Youth Athletes

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with Coach Kristin Tullo to talk about the mental side of youth sports and how coaches and parents can help athletes build real confidence. While Kristin’s work often focuses on hockey coaches, her insights apply across almost every sport as we dig into anxiety, pressure, mistakes, performance expectations, and simple ways adults can help young athletes stay competitive without making sports feel overwhelming. Questions we cover in this episode: A lot of youth athletes today seem to struggle with confidence. From your perspective, what’s creating that confidence problem in sports right now? Do you think parents and coaches sometimes accidentally make athletes more anxious or fearful without realizing it? What’s the biggest difference between athletes who recover quickly from mistakes and the ones who spiral after something goes wrong? In youth sports today, there’s so much pressure around performance, rankings, travel teams, and social media. How do we help kids stay competitive without making sports feel overwhelming? What are some simple things volunteer coaches and sports parents can do that genuinely help build confidence in young athletes? Bonus Question: Do you remember something a coach said or did when you were a youth athlete that affected you, either positively or negatively?

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Helping Youth Athletes & Teams Find Sponsors and Save Families Money

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with Mandy Holmes, a sports mom and the creator behind Carpool Contracts, to talk about the rising cost of youth sports and how teams can think differently about fundraising and sponsorships. Mandy shares practical advice for parents, coaches, and teams looking to bring in support, approach local businesses the right way, and create real value for sponsors without making the process feel awkward or overwhelming. Questions we cover in this episode: Youth sports are getting expensive fast. What are you seeing parents and teams struggle with the most right now? When a team needs money, most people think “fundraiser.” But sponsorships are a little different. How should parents and coaches think about sponsorships in a more practical way? A lot of parents and coaches probably feel awkward asking businesses for money. What’s the right way to approach that conversation without making it uncomfortable? What are some creative ways teams can provide value back to sponsors beyond just putting a logo on a shirt or banner? For the parent or coach listening who says, “Our team could really use help, but I have no idea where to start,” what are the first three steps they should take? Bonus Question: What’s one mistake teams make when trying to raise money or get sponsors that can actually hurt their chances of getting support?

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The Funny, Expensive, and Exhausting Reality of Youth Sports

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with Jordan Rifkin, better known as Broke Dad Jordan, to talk about the hilarious and painfully relatable side of being a sports parent. Jordan brings humor to the chaos of youth sports, from tournament weekends and packed schedules to rising costs, wild expenses, and the everyday reality of trying to keep up without losing your money, time, or sanity. Questions we cover in this episode: At what point did you realize youth sports had quietly turned into a full-time job with a payment plan? What’s the most ridiculous youth sports expense where you just had to stop and laugh? As a sports dad, what’s more exhausting: the money being spent or the amount of time youth sports consumes every week? What’s something in youth sports culture that parents have accepted as “normal” that is actually insane when you really think about it? If someone completely outside the youth sports world followed your family around for one tournament weekend, what do you think would shock them the most? Bonus Question: What’s the best sports parent survival hack you’ve learned to help save money, time, or sanity while navigating youth sports?

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Ref's Need Love Too

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with David Gerson, the creator behind Refs Need Love Too, to talk about the role referees play in youth sports and why parents, coaches, and players need a better understanding of what officials deal with during games. David shares practical insight on sideline behavior, respecting officials, coaching players through frustration, and how adults can help create a better game-day environment for everyone involved. Questions we cover in this episode: What’s the biggest misconception parents and coaches have about how officials make decisions during a game? If every youth sports parent had to referee just one game, what do you think would surprise them the most? What’s the difference between a coach who challenges a referee respectfully and a coach who becomes a problem? What can coaches do when one of their players isn’t treating a referee the right way? If you could install one new rule for youth sports sidelines tomorrow, what would it be, and why? Bonus Question: What’s one thing you’ve seen a coach do during a tense game that instantly earned the respect of the referee crew?

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What Parents Should Know About Sports Recruiting

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with David Hitz, a mental performance coach for athletes and one of the people behind Athlete Narrative, to talk about the mental side of youth sports and how families can better understand the recruiting process. David shares practical insight on confidence, mindset, helping athletes get noticed, and what parents and coaches can do to support kids who want to grow, compete, and reach the next level. Questions we cover in this episode: What does a mental performance coach actually do? What’s one of the biggest mental-side challenges you see in youth sports today? What led you to get involved with Athlete Narrative and helping athletes through the recruiting process? What’s something about recruiting that would surprise most parents or athletes? If a parent knows nothing about helping their athlete get “found,” what process should they start with? Bonus Question: What golden tip would you give every coach or parent for helping athletes with the mental side of the game?

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Creating a Positive Youth Sports Experience

In this episode of Uncoached, I sit down with Morgan Schill, Founder of the Positive Play Project, to talk about creating better youth sports experiences for kids, parents, and volunteer coaches. Morgan shares insights from her background as a former college athlete, coach, and sports mom, including how adults can build more positive team environments, balance hard coaching with fun, and help young athletes love sports beyond the scoreboard. Questions we cover in this episode: When you look at youth sports today, what’s something adults have normalized that you think is actually hurting kids? A lot of parents and coaches say they want kids to love sports long term, so why do you think so many athletes eventually stop playing? Can there be a balance between coaching hard and having fun? What’s something you’ve seen a coach or parent do that completely changed the emotional tone of a team, either positively or negatively? If a volunteer coach wants to create a better environment but is figuring it out as they go, where should they start? Bonus Question: What’s the number one thing we can all do to help create a more positive environment for kids?

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