Unbothered

Q&A: He Changed After I Left, Bad In Bed & a Cheating Fiancé

You wrote in, and Chloe is answering. This week’s inbox includes an ex who became a changed man the second it was too late, a casual fling whose personality disappeared after sex, a bedroom problem no one wants to say out loud, and a bride-to-be who discovered her fiancé had a secret life. Let’s get into it. Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠

Maybe He’s Avoidant. Maybe He Just Sucks. ft. Jemma Sbeg

He’s avoidant. She’s projecting. Or maybe they’re just being weird? Chloe sits down with The Psychology of Your 20s host Jemma Sbeg to talk about why uncertainty makes us obsessed, when psychoanalyzing turns into excuse-making, and why understanding someone doesn’t mean you have to tolerate them. Plus: unavailable men, healthy love, and the suspiciously productive power of heartbreak. Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Follow Jemma on ⁠IG⁠ and ⁠Substack and listen to ⁠The Psychology of Your 20's

Respectfully, f*ck the biological clock

If you want a family someday, it’s almost impossible not to do the math backward and wonder if you’re already behind when you haven’t met the love of your life by 25. Somewhere along the way, that ticking clock can start creeping into the way women date, the way women leave, and what we're willing to settle for. You might find yourself staying a little too long in the wrong relationship because starting over means throwing the whole timeline back into the unknown. So this week, Chloe is unpacking the biological clock itself: what actually happens to fertility as we move through our late 20s and 30s, why everyone is obsessed with 35, AMH, egg freezing, and how to have an ideal timeline without letting it become a deadline. Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠

The "chill girl" is a lie

Today I’m giving you my full dissertation on the chill girl because I have THOUGHTS. She’s low-maintenance, easygoing, never needy, never difficult. But how much of being “chill” is actually confidence, and how much is abandoning your own needs before someone else gets the chance to reject them? Let’s get into where the chill girl came from, why women are so afraid of being “difficult,” and what it actually looks like to retire her for good. Articles: Nice girls don't ask Sometimes it does hurt to ask Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠

The questions that changed our lives ft. Koreen of We’re Not Really Strangers

Koreen built a career and sold millions of games by asking people questions they weren’t prepared to answer. This week, my longtime friend and founder of We’re Not Really Strangers sits down with me to trade the questions that changed our lives. Somewhere between love, ambition, self-betrayal, and the kind of honesty usually reserved for three martinis in, we get to the answers we’ve been avoiding. Come prepared to ask yourself the hard questions, add a few to your conversational arsenal, and leave knowing yourself a little better. Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠

If you only listen to one dating episode, make it this one

I went back through some of my favorite conversations to bring you the best dating and relationship advice, all in one episode. From heartbreak and attachment styles to boundaries, self-worth, communication, and building healthier relationships, these are the lessons everyone needs to hear. I wish this episode had existed when I was in my early 20s...it could’ve saved me years of therapy, lol. Listen to each full episode: Amy Chan — bestselling author of Breakup Bootcamp and Unsingle Sabrina Zohar — relationship coach and host of The Sabrina Zohar Show Kati Morton, LMFT — licensed marriage and family therapist, author of Are u ok? and Why Do I Keep Doing This?, and host of Ask Kati Anything Jaci Marie Smith — co-host of the What We Said podcast Jessica Baum, LMHC — psychotherapist and author of Anxiously Attached and SAFE Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠

Uh oh, I'm falling in love

Nobody tells you that falling in love with the right person can unlock a whole new set of fears. This week, we're talking about healthy love, unlearning old relationship patterns, the fear of losing control, and why anxiety doesn't always mean something is wrong. Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠

Walking red flag (w/ Jared Freid)

Ever wish you could ask the person you're dating what they actually mean? We brought in comedian, podcast host, and author Jared Freid to help decode the behavior driving you and your group chat insane. From mixed signals and situationships to commitment, labels, and all the phrases people use instead of saying what they really mean, we're asking the questions you're too afraid to ask and getting some honest answers. Check out Jared's new book, Walking Red Flag Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Follow Jared on IG and TikTok and listen to The JTrain Podcast and U Up?

Men are like dessert

Dessert is delicious. But if it's the only thing on your plate, eventually you're going to get sick. Somewhere along the way, we started treating relationships like the main event. Like life begins when you get the boyfriend, the ring, the wedding, the happy ending. Meanwhile, we're hurtling through space on a floating rock with entire lives to build, people to meet, places to see, and stories to collect. Love is beautiful. Love is worth wanting. But life is happening now, not after you find it. Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠

You don’t get the life you don’t show up for

Ever heard of the butterfly effect? It’s never the big, obvious moment that changes your life. It’s the random night you almost cancel. You say yes instead of “another time,” and it turns into a relationship, an opportunity, a new best friend… or something that changes everything. This episode is about how the moments you almost talk yourself out of are usually the ones you need the most. Try out my favorite prompt on Hinge and lmk how it goes! #HingePartner: http://hin.ge/unbotheredclub Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠

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What doesn't kill you calls you six months later

The more you want something, the further it seems to get. The second you let go, it shows up. Law of detachment, baby. If your mood is riding on one outcome, this is your reset. Let me help you stop spiraling and start trusting what’s meant for you, and show you how to actually detach when you feel like you can’t. Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠

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Stories that sound fake but unfortunately aren’t (w/ Emon Abdullah)

You asked and Emon is back. We’re telling stories — the time her best friend catfished her ex-boyfriend and got arrested for extortion, the roommate situation that slowly turned into a horror story, getting stuck in an elevator with Larry David while Chloe argued with him over a box, and several stories that still don’t feel real. Buckle up. Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Follow Emon

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You Can't Fix Him (w/ Kate Speights)

He had potential. You had patience. And now you're realizing love can't turn someone into who they're not. Kate Speights joins me to talk about why you simply cannot build a man. We get into staying too long, having the same conversation 500 times, and realizing you can't love someone into being the one. If you feel like you have to raise him, it's time to get a new one. Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Follow Kate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠

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How to get your spark back immediately

Lost your spark and not sure how to get it back? I have answers. I’ve lost mine more times than I can count over the last few years, which means I’ve also gotten pretty good at getting it back fast. In this episode I get into what actually kills your spark and what genuinely brings it back. Not the Pinterest advice, the real stuff that actually works when you feel like a dim version of yourself. Fair warning: I took a shot of tequila before recording because talking to a camera alone for an hour still feels slightly insane to me, and apparently, I’m a lightweight now. So this is a very honest, slightly chaotic, unfiltered solo Chloe episode. But by the end of it, you’ll have a game plan and ideally be ready to wake up tomorrow and say the 3 magic words. We're so back. Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠

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The Start vs. The End of Your 20s (w/ Trin Blair)

Your 20s are chaotic and messy, but that’s the point. Trinity Blair joins me for a big sister/little sister moment that honestly healed something in both of us. She asks what it’s actually like to be 29, and I share what 21-year-old me misunderstood about love, ambition, and growing up. If you’ve felt behind, too intense, or mildly convinced everyone else has it figured out...they don’t. And this one’s for you. Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Listen to ⁠⁠Trin's pod⁠⁠ and follow her on ⁠⁠IG⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠TikTok

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Unfiltered Advice Hour (w/ Jaci Marie Smith)

We’re talking about dating a man with potential instead of proof, living with a friend who might secretly want your life, the boyfriend who’s “private” but somehow still posts everything but you, when generosity starts sounding like leverage, why chaos feels hotter than calm, and what to do when the people closest to you slowly drain your peace. Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Listen to ⁠Jaci's pod⁠ and follow her on ⁠IG⁠ and ⁠TikTok

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Your Type Is Your Trauma (w/ Amy Chan)

You’re not unlucky in love. You’re just repeating a loop. Best selling author Amy Chan explains why your “type” might be your trauma and how to recalibrate your picker for good. We get into breadcrumb addiction, instant chemistry vs. anxiety, the dating funnel, and why stability shouldn’t feel boring.Preorder Unsingle check out Breakup Bootcamp ⁠here⁠!Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Follow Amy on ⁠⁠IG⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠TikTok⁠

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Slow Dating vs. Breadcrumbing (W/ Sabrina Zohar)

Rushing feels exciting… until you’re anxious, overanalyzing, and disconnected from yourself. Sabrina Zohar joins me to talk slow dating, nervous system regulation, and how to stay grounded while getting to know someone. This is my fave episode to date, I hope you guys love it ♡ Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Listen to Sabrina's pod and follow her on IG and TikTok

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Red Flag Rapid Fire

Casiah West is back, the wine is flowing, and we’re doing what needed to be done: a very tipsy, very honest red flag audit of men. From two chargers on the nightstand to vaping, strip clubs, gym selfies, knowing his big three, and watching your story without texting you back. Consider this a drinking game, a cautionary tale, and free therapy all at once. Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Follow ⁠Casiah⁠ and her ⁠pod⁠

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Self-Doubt Sells

I took a beat, and I’m back. Happy 2026 🤍 In this solo episode, I discuss confidence, insecurity, and how beauty culture and social media subtly influence our self-worth. Why is feeling “almost enough” so common?? Maybe it’s less personal than we think and more about the systems and industries that profit from our self-doubt. Let's get into it. Follow the pod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠.⁠⁠⁠ Follow Chloe on ⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠.⁠⁠ YT video referenced.

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