Why You Keep Falling Back Into Old Patterns (Even When You're Doing the Work) Ft. Jelena Holodkova
If you've been doing all the inner work- the journaling, the therapy, the mindset shifts- and still feel like you're spinning in the same old patterns, this episode is for you. It's all about how sometimes the missing piece is changing your environment. So much can happen and shift when you switch up where you are and who you surround yourself with. I'm joined by my incredibly wise friend Jelena, who has been on the podcast so many times we've lost count, and honestly, our conversations never get old. We recently reunited in Thailand and I knew after our time together it was time to record another episode. The topic we're diving into today is one that I think is genuinely underrated in the personal development world: your environment. We talk a lot about doing the internal work, but what happens when that work isn't landing because everything around you is still keeping you stuck? Jelena spent 15 years in corporate banking in London before her life completely turned upside down at the end of her twenties. Her thirties have been a radical journey of self-discovery, moving countries, changing her entire social world, and stepping into her calling as a somatic coach and breathwork facilitator. We met on a trip to Costa Rica when both of us were in moments of real transition — and that trip itself is actually a perfect example of what this episode is all about. In this episode we cover: Why doing the inner work alone isn't always enough — and what the missing piece so often is Jelena's fish-in-dirty-water analogy that will genuinely change how you think about personal growth The nervous system piece: why your body keeps dragging you back to old patterns even when your mind knows better How both of us have used new environments as a catalyst for massive life change Why retreats are such a powerful incubator — and what makes a transformational coaching retreat different from a regular wellness trip The magic of being in a room with women who are walking the same path as you Jelena's experience co-hosting the Align Retreat with me in 2023 — and why the friendships formed there are still going strong Following your breadcrumbs and trusting the nudges that lead you somewhere new ✨ Ready to change your environment? The Turning Retreat is your invitation. Everything we talked about in this episode: the power of new environments, the incubator effect of retreats, the transformation that happens when you're surrounded by women doing this work , that is exactly what I've designed the Turning Retreat to be. October 4–10, 2026 | Koh Samui, Thailand A week inside one of the most stunning wellness resorts on the island, nestled in the jungle and minutes from where I actually live. We're going to go deep - somatic work, a transformational coaching program written by me, a cacao ceremony, a floating sound bath, and breathwork and energy healing with our incredible guest facilitator Kady Gummerson We have a beautiful group of women already booked in, and there are still spots left. If something in this episode is pulling you toward it, that's not an accident. It's divine timing! For more information: see the retreat details https://www.turning30coach.com/turningretreat2026 Book a retreat consult call with me: https://calendar.app.google/TZ2xSbfuqoaBDr6k7 Connect with Jelena: Find her previous episodes linked below: including the very first one we recorded together that broke my download records. And if you're a facilitator, spaceholder, yoga teacher, or therapist, go check out her Step Up programme and her breathwork teacher training (next in-person cohort in Ibiza, September). https://www.andalso.space/breathworkteachertraining