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Triple Hearts · Wednesday · 58 min

Ep: 9 Dating Apps While Poly

Dating in 2026 is hard enough. Dating apps while polyamorous is a whole different sport. This week Koko and Lala get into the good, the bad, and the downright ridiculous side of swiping while poly. Koko met her last two relationships on apps, including a five-year run that started on Plenty of Fish. Lala is terrified of them, and she has receipts: someone once put her pictures on a fake profile, and a Plenty of Fish date at Jasper's ended with her putting the whole table on his tab. Then it gets wild. Koko and her partner have had their profiles deleted from Tinder and Hinge just for being a couple, and paid for an "ethically non-monogamous" women's event that turned them away at the door and kept the money. Lala tells the story of the gorgeous woman she matched with on HER, who turned out to be the man she was already dating. Koko shares the FaceTime that looked nothing like the pictures, the Dear John letter a rejected match sent to her partner, and a Tagged date from ten years ago that spiraled into mystery dick pics and heavy-breathing phone calls, until a pair of locs gave him away. Along the way: are we in a "poly backlash" after that Cosmo piece about the failed non-monogamy experiment, why friendships end without being failures, and Boochie, the word that keeps crashing our Word of the Day. The real word is "virtuamorous," someone who keeps relationships online only and never meets up, which leads straight into Catfish, Bow Wow, and the Channing Tatum emails. Our Open Letter hits home: a listener got banned from three apps for writing "ethically non-monogamous" in her bio, then matched with a secretly married man on the fourth. The cheater stayed. She got removed. That sends us down the Ashley Madison rabbit hole: an app built for affairs, running since 2002, with 91 million members. We're still not over it. Big news at the end. The Triple Hearts Discord is open. Comment "open" on any of our platforms for the link. We will not ban you for being honest. A Triple Hearts dating app is coming too. Next week: when it doesn't work. Like, follow, share, and subscribe. We love you, Heartthrobs.

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Dating in 2026 is hard enough. Dating apps while polyamorous is a whole different sport.
This week Koko and Lala get into the good, the bad, and the downright ridiculous side of swiping while poly. Koko met her last two relationships on apps, including a five-year run that started on Plenty of Fish. Lala is terrified of them, and she has receipts: someone once put her pictures on a fake profile, and a Plenty of Fish date at Jasper's ended with her putting the whole table on his tab.


Then it gets wild. Koko and her partner have had their profiles deleted from Tinder and Hinge just for being a couple, and paid for an "ethically non-monogamous" women's event that turned them away at the door and kept the money. Lala tells the story of the gorgeous woman she matched with on HER, who turned out to be the man she was already dating. Koko shares the FaceTime that looked nothing like the pictures, the Dear John letter a rejected match sent to her partner, and a Tagged date from ten years ago that spiraled into mystery dick pics and heavy-breathing phone calls, until a pair of locs gave him away.
Along the way: are we in a "poly backlash" after that Cosmo piece about the failed non-monogamy experiment, why friendships end without being failures, and Boochie, the word that keeps crashing our Word of the Day. The real word is "virtuamorous," someone who keeps relationships online only and never meets up, which leads straight into Catfish, Bow Wow, and the Channing Tatum emails.


Our Open Letter hits home: a listener got banned from three apps for writing "ethically non-monogamous" in her bio, then matched with a secretly married man on the fourth. The cheater stayed. She got removed. That sends us down the Ashley Madison rabbit hole: an app built for affairs, running since 2002, with 91 million members. We're still not over it.
Big news at the end. The Triple Hearts Discord is open. Comment "open" on any of our platforms for the link. We will not ban you for being honest. A Triple Hearts dating app is coming too.


Next week: when it doesn't work.


Like, follow, share, and subscribe. We love you, Heartthrobs.

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