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To Be Single or Not to Be

Shaana Monét

TO BE SINGLE OR NOT TO BE is a podcast about returning to yourself.

Honest conversations on freedom, identity, and showing up fully - beyond roles, relationships, and expectations.

Hosted by Shaana Monét

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  • 20 episodes
  • Avg 26 min
  • English
  • S5 · E3
    February 19 · 21 min

    Surrender vs. Control: Trusting His Plan

    Why is surrender so difficult...even when we say we trust God? In this episode, we unpack the tension between control and faith. We explore the deeper issue beneath our need to manage outcomes, predict timelines, and force clarity - and why letting go can feel more threatening than staying in control. Where did that need for control come from? Is it fear? Past disappointment? A desire to protect ourselves from uncertainty? This conversation uncovers why surrender isn’t passive, weak, or irresponsible. It’s active trust. It’s obedience without all the details. It’s choosing faith when the plan doesn’t match your expectations. If you’ve been wrestling with delays, unanswered prayers, closed doors, or the anxiety of not knowing what’s next - this episode creates space to reflect on whether you’re truly trusting His plan... or trying to rewrite it. Surrender isn’t about giving up. It’s about handing it over. Connect with me on Instagram or Facebook @tobesingleornottobe for more reflections and updates and follow me on Youtube @shaanamonet

  • S5 · E2
    February 5 · 21 min

    Staying True to Yourself While Loving Others

    What happens when honoring yourself starts to feel like disappointing everyone else? In this episode, I explore the tension between authenticity and accommodation - especially for millennials who were often taught to keep the peace, stay quiet, and move on instead of talking things through. We unpack how silence became a coping mechanism, why self-sacrifice was mistaken for love, and how those habits are still shaping our relationships today. This conversation looks at what it really means to stay true to yourself without becoming closed off, defensive, or selfish. Loving others doesn’t require self-erasure - it requires honest communication, emotional maturity, and boundaries that are lived, not just discussed. If you’ve ever struggled to speak up, felt guilty for choosing yourself, or wondered how to love people without losing who you are, this episode offers space for reflection, clarity, and growth.

  • S5 · E1
    Dec 31, 2025 · 25 min

    The Show is Over. Drop the Act & Show Up Authentically

    What happens when the version of you that once worked… no longer fits? In the season premiere of To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast, Shaana opens Season 5 with an honest solo conversation about stepping out of performance and into alignment. This episode explores the difference between living a curated life and unconsciously performing one - and how reaching your 40's can bring clarity around energy, boundaries, and what truly matters. Shaana reflects on letting go of fear of missing out, questioning long-standing patterns, navigating expectations from family, friends, and work, and learning how to exit spaces that no longer serve her - without drama or explanation. This episode isn’t about reinvention. It’s about permission. Permission to change. Permission to choose yourself. Permission to live authentically free. If you’ve been feeling tired in ways rest doesn’t fix, this conversation is for you. EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS - The difference between being curated and being performative - Why growth sometimes looks quieter - not louder - Releasing FOMO and choosing presence intentionally - Navigating expectations without over explaining your life - Learning how to gracefully leave spaces that no longer fit Let’s Talk About Being Authentically Free is a season dedicated to honest conversations about alignment, self-trust, and showing up as who you are now - without guilt, performance, or pressure.

  • Mar 27, 2024 · 18 min

    STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS: THE STATE OF RELATIONSHIPS IN 2024

    In this special and final episode of the Runnin' it Back Series, we take a deep dive into the state of relationships in 2024. It's a real, raw, and VERY necessary conversation that every woman seeking healthy and happy love needs to hear! Put those headphones on, get comfortable, and buckle up for a helluva meaningful ride that I promise you will be worth it! Shop the Shaanah Montanna Journal Collection: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/author/shaanahmontanna If would like to support & buy me a coffee, please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TBSONTB Have an inspiring relationship story or advice you want to share on The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast? Please submit your story at tobesingleornottobe@gmail.com Shop Merch via the Website: https://shaanahmontanna.com/ Social Media Info: Instagram & TikTok: Shaanah Montanna - @shaanahmontanna To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast - @tobesingleornottobe Shaanah Montanna Journal Collection - @smjournalcollection

  • Feb 20, 2024 · 28 min

    Do You Even Know Who Raised That Man?

    On this episode we take a deep dive into the role that family plays in your dating life when you think it does not! It's essential for you to ask yourself questions like, who raised that man, what kind of upbringing did he have, was he taught to respect and value women, does he hate his family? Too many times we sign up for a relationship with a man before knowing their background and sometimes this means we lose before we even had a chance to win! So, get to know your potential partner inside and out, through and through from his bloodline and you may just save yourself from a ton of heartache later! Watch the full visual episode on Youtube now on the Shaanah Montanna Youtube Channel: https://youtu.be/lXjsIuydqts?si=a7A4IdOirQbE8AzE Shop the Shaanah Montanna Journal Collection: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/author/shaanah... If would like to support & buy me a coffee, please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TBSONTB Have an inspiring relationship story or advice you want to share on The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast? Please submit your story at tobesingleornottobe@gmail.com Shop Merch via the Website: https://shaanahmontanna.com/ Social Media Info: Instagram: Shaanah Montanna - @shaanahmontanna To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast - @tobesingleornottobe Twitter: Shaanahmontanna - @shaanahmontanna Be sure to hashtag #TBSONTB with any comments about the show and be sure to give the episode a thumbs up if you enjoyed it!

  • Feb 8, 2024 · 14 min

    Market Value is More Than a Pretty Face & Finances

    On this episode we take a deep dive into the conversations around market value so we can lay it to rest! Market value is more than skin and pockets deep. Yet, it still lies in the hands of the beholder. Your value begins and ends in you and within you. So, how marketable are you and are you sure you have the right "things" on the market? Let's talk about! FULL visual episode available now on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@shaanahmontanna Shop the Shaanah Montanna Journal Collection: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/author/shaanahmontanna If would like to support & buy me a coffee, please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TBSONTB Have an inspiring relationship story or advice you want to share on The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast? Please submit your story at tobesingleornottobe@gmail.com Shop Merch via the Website: https://shaanahmontanna.com/ Social Media Info: Instagram: Shaanah Montanna - @shaanahmontanna To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast - @tobesingleornottobe Twitter: Shaanahmontanna - @shaanahmontanna Be sure to hashtag #TBSONTB with any comments about the show and be sure to give the episode a thumbs up if you enjoyed it!

  • Jan 26, 2024 · 30 min

    Don't Commit to Your Next Relationship Before Reviewing This List!

    On this episode we take a deep dive into the areas you need to make sure you fully tap into before you decide to commit to a new relationship! These are items that call for us to step out of the laziness that has led us to bad partner selection in the past and will force us to put in the work to determine if they are a good partner for us on the front end so we won't regret it on the back end if we find out they weren't. FULL visual episode available now on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@shaanahmontanna Shop the new Shaanah Montanna Journal Collection: https://www.amazon.com/author/shaanahmontanna If would like to support & buy me a coffee, please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TBSONTB Have an inspiring relationship story or advice you want to share on The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast? Please submit your story at tobesingleornottobe@gmail.com Shop Merch via the Website: https://shaanahmontanna.com/ Social Media Info: Instagram: Shaanah Montanna - @shaanahmontanna To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast - @tobesingleornottobe Twitter: Shaanahmontanna - @shaanahmontanna Be sure to hashtag #TBSONTB with any comments about the show and be sure to give the episode a thumbs up if you enjoyed it!

  • Jan 20, 2024 · 29 min

    Stop Playing With Your Friendships!

    On this episode we take a deep dive into what friendship really means and looks like in the digital age of premature dismissals. If they are really your friend and someone you say you care about, then watch this episode to continue moving forth in grace and accordingly! Platonic friendships deserve the same grace, time, attention, and energy that we give romantic partnerships. So, let's acknowledge and own that and started treating our friends as good as we say they deserve. FULL visual episode available now on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@shaanahmontanna Shop the Shaanah Montanna Journal Collection: https://www.amazon.com/author/shaanahmontanna If would like to support & buy me a coffee, please visit ⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TBSONTB⁠ Shop Merch via the Website: ⁠https://shaanahmontanna.com/⁠ Social Media Info: Instagram: Shaanah Montanna - @shaanahmontanna To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast - @tobesingleornottobe Twitter: Shaanahmontanna - @shaanahmontanna Be sure to hashtag ⁠#TBSONTB⁠ with any comments about the show and be sure to give the episode a thumbs up if you enjoyed it!

  • Jul 31, 2023 · 18 min

    Is She Too Independent or Is That Man Not Doing Enough?

    On this episode we revisit my views on what it really means to be independent and is there a such thing as too independent in a society that say women want to be masculine anyway! It's much deeper than taking out the trash when a man is in close proximity. Listen to the episode and let me know what you think! If would like to support & buy me a coffee, please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TBSONTB To become a patron of all things Shaanah Montanna of TBSONTB podcast, please visit patreon.com/shaanahmontanna To subscribe to The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast on Youtube, please visit https://youtube.com/@shaanahmontanna Have an inspiring relationship story or advice you want to share on The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast? Please submit your story at tobesingleornottobe@gmail.com Shop Merch via the Website: https://shaanahmontanna.com/ Social Media Info: Instagram: Shaanah Montanna - @shaanahmontanna The To Be Single or Not To Be - @tobesingleornottobe Twitter: Shaanahmontanna - @shaanahmontanna Be sure to hashtag #TBSONTB with any comments about the show and be sure to give the episode a thumbs up if you enjoyed it!

  • Jul 27, 2023 · 16 min

    They Cheated. Do I Stay or Pay Them Dust?

    On this episode we revisit my views on cheating, how you define what cheating is to you personally, the hand social media plays in cheating present day, and how you navigate it if it happens to you (whether you should leave or stay). Listen to the episode and let me know what you think! Shop • Shaana Montanna & if would like to buy me a coffee, please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TBSONTB To become a patron of all things Shaanah Montanna of TBSONTB podcast, please visit patreon.com/shaanahmontanna To subscribe to The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast on Youtube, please visit https://youtube.com/@shaanahmontanna Have an inspiring relationship story or advice you want to share on The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast? Please submit your story at tobesingleornottobe@gmail.com Website: https://shaanahmontanna.com/ Social Media Info: Instagram: Shaanah Montanna - @shaanahmontanna The To Be Single or Not To Be - @tobesingleornottobe Twitter: Shaanahmontanna - @shaanahmontanna Be sure to hashtag #TBSONTB with any comments about the show and be sure to give the episode a thumbs up if you enjoyed it!

  • Jul 25, 2023 · 20 min

    That Man Does Not Need More Time. That Man Does Not Like You

    On this episode we revisit my views on timelines in relationships and dating and why they are not as necessary as I once thought. It's more so about what you are doing with the time you are giving over how much time has gone by! Listen to the episode and let me know what you think! Shop • Shaana Montanna & if would like to buy me a coffee, please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TBSONTB To become a patron of all things Shaanah Montanna of TBSONTB podcast, please visit patreon.com/shaanahmontanna To subscribe to The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast on Youtube, please visit https://youtube.com/@shaanahmontanna Have an inspiring relationship story or advice you want to share on The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast? Please submit your story at tobesingleornottobe@gmail.com Website: https://shaanahmontanna.com/ Social Media Info: Instagram: Shaanah Montanna - @shaanahmontanna The To Be Single or Not To Be - @tobesingleornottobe Twitter: Shaanahmontanna - @shaanahmontanna Be sure to hashtag #TBSONTB with any comments about the show and be sure to give the episode a thumbs up if you enjoyed it!

  • Jul 20, 2023 · 30 min

    How to End Generational Curses Immediately!

    On this episode we revisit my views and the truth about GENERATIONAL CURSES! They are more than only building financial wealth. There are actually FEELINGS involved, too! Listen to the episode and let me know what you think! Shop • Shaana Montanna & if would like to buy me a coffee, please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TBSONTB To become a patron of all things Shaanah Montanna of TBSONTB podcast, please visit patreon.com/shaanahmontanna To subscribe to The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast on Youtube, please visit https://youtube.com/@shaanahmontanna Have an inspiring relationship story or advice you want to share on The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast? Please submit your story at tobesingleornottobe@gmail.com Website: https://shaanahmontanna.com/ Social Media Info: Instagram: Shaanah Montanna - @shaanahmontanna The To Be Single or Not To Be - @tobesingleornottobe Twitter: Shaanahmontanna - @shaanahmontanna Be sure to hashtag #TBSONTB with any comments about the show and be sure to give the episode a thumbs up if you enjoyed it!

  • Jul 19, 2023 · 27 min

    The Hard Truth About Breakups...NOW WHAT?

    On this episode we revisit my views the HARD truth about breakups, why they happen, what you can possibly do to prevent them, and how to navigate them if you run into their murky waters! Tune in for the deets and let me know what you really think! Shop • Shaana Montanna & if would like to buy me a coffee, please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TBSONTB To become a patron of all things Shaanah Montanna of TBSONTB podcast, please visit patreon.com/shaanahmontanna To subscribe to The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast on Youtube, please visit https://youtube.com/@shaanahmontanna Have an inspiring relationship story or advice you want to share on The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast? Please submit your story at tobesingleornottobe@gmail.com Website: https://shaanahmontanna.com/ Social Media Info: Instagram: Shaanah Montanna - @shaanahmontanna The To Be Single or Not To Be - @tobesingleornottobe Twitter: Shaanahmontanna - @shaanahmontanna Be sure to hashtag #TBSONTB with any comments about the show and be sure to give the episode a thumbs up if you enjoyed it!

  • Jul 13, 2023 · 27 min

    Stop Negotiating Your NON-Negotiables!

    On this episode we revisit my views on non-negotiables because it's time for us to discuss WHY do we even have them if we are not going to ever stick beside 'em? Tune in for the deets and let me know what you really think! Shop • Shaana Montanna & if would like to buy me a coffee, please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TBSONTB To become a patron of all things Shaanah Montanna of TBSONTB podcast, please visit patreon.com/shaanahmontanna To subscribe to The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast on Youtube, please visit https://youtube.com/@shaanahmontanna Have an inspiring relationship story or advice you want to share on The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast? Please submit your story at tobesingleornottobe@gmail.com Website: https://shaanahmontanna.com/ Social Media Info: Instagram: Shaanah Montanna - @shaanahmontanna The To Be Single or Not To Be - @tobesingleornottobe Twitter: Shaanahmontanna - @shaanahmontanna Be sure to hashtag #TBSONTB with any comments about the show and be sure to give the episode a thumbs up if you enjoyed it!

  • Jul 10, 2023 · 27 min

    Why Would a Woman Go Half on Anything With a Man?

    On this episode we revisit my views on the financial perspective of a relationship! Should women go half, should they never consider it, or is it still up for debate? Tune in for the deets and let me know what you really think! Shop • Shaana Montanna & if would like to buy me a coffee, please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TBSONTB To become a patron of all things Shaanah Montanna of TBSONTB podcast, please visit patreon.com/shaanahmontanna To subscribe to The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast on Youtube, please visit https://youtube.com/@shaanahmontanna Have an inspiring relationship story or advice you want to share on The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast? Please submit your story at tobesingleornottobe@gmail.com Website: https://shaanahmontanna.com/ Social Media Info: Instagram: Shaanah Montanna - @shaanahmontanna The To Be Single or Not To Be - @tobesingleornottobe Twitter: Shaanahmontanna - @shaanahmontanna Be sure to hashtag #TBSONTB with any comments about the show and be sure to give the episode a thumbs up if you enjoyed it!

  • Jul 6, 2023 · 25 min

    Why Women Really Want a Husband!

    On this episode we revisit my views on why women really want a husband! Is it for love, is it for money, or is it for reasons that have nothing to do with that at all! Tune in for the deets and let me know what you really think! If would like to buy me a coffee, please visit ⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TBSONTB⁠ To become a patron of all things Shaanah Montanna of TBSONTB podcast, please visit ⁠patreon.com/shaanahmontanna⁠ To subscribe to The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast on Youtube, please visit ⁠https://youtu.be/FgwKPHICbjU⁠ Have an inspiring relationship story or advice you want to share on The To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast? Please submit your story at tobesingleornottobe@gmail.com Website & shop for merch:⁠ ⁠https://shaanahmontanna.com/⁠ Social Media Info: Instagram: Shaanah Montanna - @shaanahmontanna The To Be Single or Not To Be - @tobesingleornottobe Twitter: Shaanahmontanna - @shaanahmontanna Be sure to hashtag ⁠#TBSONTB⁠ with any comments about the show and be sure to give the episode a thumbs up if you enjoyed it!

  • S4 · E111
    Jul 18, 2022 · 4 min

    One Night Only: The Tell All Interview with Shaanah Montanna - Ep. 111

    This is the season finale of the To Be Single or Not To Be podcast and we are so excited to be here! This episode is exclusively on YouTube and is one you do not want to miss! We sit down with the Creator and Host of the podcast for a one night only special where she "TELLS ALL" about aspects of her relationship life! She dives into what love looks like, what makes her feel safe, what would be her grade in "relationship class" personally, and so much more! So, be sure to head over to YouTube to view this visual only episode on the Shaanah Montanna channel now!

  • S4 · E110
    Jul 4, 2022 · 47 min

    Let's Talk About Labels...AGAIN! - Ep. 110

    On this episode, we take another dive into a conversation around labels and the necessity of them since it seems many people are unclear about this said thing! Whether a label is to make sure all parties know they are in a relationship or to clarify that you are not in one, they are needed across the board! This allows you to avoid confusion, heartache, and some pain when the tables don't turn how you desire or you are with someone who refuses to take a seat at the label table to give you what you heart truly desires! Take a seat at the table as we dive into this convo, for what I am sure, will not be the last time! Special guests: Tori. A & Durriyyah of the podcast "Sweet Tea with Dee"

  • S4 · E109
    Jun 27, 2022 · 1 hr 1 min

    The Value of Sisterhood - Ep. 109

    On this episode, we take a deep dive into the sometimes overlooked value of sisterhood! In this day and age of social media relationship goals, women being focused on getting the ring by any means necessary, and some people never having the experience of what genuine sisterhood looks like, it was mandatory that we had this conversation as a beautiful reminder of the power sisterhood holds! Join us for a conversation between girlfriends of almost 20 years and why we landed here, why we work to maintain our sisterhood, and the joy it brings to us all! Special guests: Heather C. & Kandice M.

  • S4 · E108
    Jun 20, 2022 · 38 min

    Non Monogamy & Polyamorous Relationships - Ep. 108

    On this episode, we take a deep dive into what non monogamous and polyamorous relationships truly look like, inside and out! Many people will say those who choose this lifestyle are just greedy or afraid of commitment and there may be some truth to that. However, after this episode gives you insight to what the lifestyles are really like, what life looks like in one of these partnerships, and how one must maintain their composure at all times to remain in one, we think you will walk away with a newfound perspective on these lifestyles and if they are really all they seem to be! Special guest: Flo Oliveira

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