Three Bean Salad

A podcast from comedians Mike Wozniak, Henry Paker and Benjamin Partridge. Each week the three beans tackle a different theme, suggested by the listening audience.

Play

Open in

30 episodes
weekly
Avg 55 min
English

Episodes 30

Newest Oldest Longest

All20 Unplayed20 In progress0 Played0

Counted on this page — what you have heard stays on this device, so it is not something the list can be paged by.

S22 · E10
Wednesday · 55 min
Extra Beans - Free Novembermania Patreon taster
It's Novembermania! We're offering 50% off your first month over on Patreon - www.patreon.com/threebeansalad To give you a taste of what lies beyond the paywall, this episode is the first half of our October 2026 Extra Beans episode - extra bits from our recordings about cowboys and trees.
S22 · E9
October 28 · 1 hr 6 min
The Simulation Hypothesis
What is real? Keanu Reeves? And if Keanu Reeves is real can we prove it or is this something we simply have to take on faith? Robert of Bremen has, presumably, been wrestling with these very questions and rather than trying to geo-locate Keanu Reeves and obtain samples from him for laboratory assessment he has instead, very sensibly, entered “The Simulation Hypothesis” into the Bean Machine and let the lukewarm banter take its course. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod
S22 · E8
October 21 · 1 hr 3 min
Wool
This week’s topic is wool aka nature’s denim. Wool is a material that has been worn by princes, paupers and everyone in between for thousands if not millions of years. In fact, the wearing of woollen garments is one of the few things which sets us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom (other examples include close-up magic and humming. For a full list see the Three Beancyclopaedia). Thanks then to Russell of Nova Scotia for shoving wool into the Bean Machine. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod
S22 · E7
October 14 · 1 hr 7 min
Trees
Which tree are you? The graceful and ethereal silver birch? The proud and stately elm? The feeble and foul-smelling Bradford pear tree? Click HERE to find out with our online quiz and to receive lifelong, military-grade, North Korean malware! Thank you to Eleanor of Bristol for this week’s topic (trees). Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod
S22 · E6
October 7 · 59 min
Cowboys
In many ways podcasters are the cowboys of today (excepting the actual cowboys of today of course) but instead of horses we ride ergonomic chairs, instead of slinging guns we sling mouths and our bullets - lukewarm banter. Thanks to Will of no location given for this week’s topic. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod
S22 · E5
September 30 · 3 min
Fifth Wednesday semi-demi-non-ep
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday September and we only do four episodes a month because of the podcasters' union) Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com insta: @beansaladpod
S22 · E4
September 23 · 56 min
Soup
Soup of the day is lukewarm banter! That’s right, Max of Bremen has poured soup into the bean machine. Rest assured the beans shall treat this week’s liquid topic as scrupulously they would any solid one. With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod
S22 · E3
September 16 · 1 hr 13 min
Dancing
We are not the only species that dances but we are the only one that has Dancercise. With that in mind, perhaps it is worth reflecting on the often misquoted words of 17th century poet and scholar John Donne: “Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in Dancercise. Therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.” Thanks for Sandor of the other side of wherever for this week’s topic. With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod
S22 · E2
September 9 · 58 min
Taxis
Taxi drivers in the UK are exempt from having to wear seatbelts so that their passengers have one less thing to strangle them with mid-journey - a sobering little fact and one which perhaps illustrates the nature of the relationship between cabbies and their fares through the ages. Thanks to Phil of Utrecht for suggesting taxis as this week’s topic for the podcast (which has always been and remains steadfastly anti-strangle). Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Goodbye to the Hyundai video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7vC6zxNKBI With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod
S22 · E1
September 2 · 1 hr 5 min
Musicals
It is known that EVERY event is better when punctuated by songs (hence hymns, national anthems, Auld Lang Syne etc). It stands to reason therefore that the musical is the apogee of human endeavour. Can you imagine then the excitement of the beans when this week’s topic was barfed out of The Bean Machine and musicals is what it turned out to be???!!!! Thanks to Sophie of somewhere probably for this perfectly judged suggestion. Tickets for Henry's tour: henrypaker.com Tickets for Mike's tour: mrmikewozniak.com Tickets for Beef And Dairy Network at the London Podcast Festival IN HALL: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/podcast/beef-and-dairy-network-podcast-5/ STREAMING: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/podcast/beef-and-dairy-network-podcast-online/ With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod
S21 · E10
August 5 · 10 min
August Anti-sode
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September) Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad
S21 · E9
July 30 · 2 min
Fifth Wednesday Ersatz Episode
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we only do four episodes a month because of Andy Burnham)
S21 · E8
July 22 · 1 hr 2 min
Frogs
Whatever happened to The Frog Chorus? Were Paul McCartney’s erstwhile collaborators merely one hit wonders? Or, more than four decades on from the release of their smash hit single “We All Stand Together”, might we see them dusting off their vocal sacs and hitting the road alongside so many other ’80s pop sensations? Mayhap they’ll headline next year’s Glastonbury? No way of knowing. And this is certainly not discussed in the podcast at all. But what is discussed, thanks to Glen of Okazaki, Japan, is the topic of frogs. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Ben's Dr Chance video can be found here: https://youtu.be/EtQUemmMQDg?si=g1eOYNG37Mw11U3l With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod
S21 · E7
July 15 · 1 hr 5 min
Stationary
Can anything ever truly be still (apart from David Blaine)? Perhaps this is what Lou of Bend, Oregon would have the beans ponder by suggesting “stationary” as this week’s topic. Or perhaps Lou is in the middle of getting stalked by a brown bear and, while playing dead and only able to operate a mobile telephone from inside the pocket of a pair of waterproof trousers, thought posting this suggestion into the bean machine would be the quickest and surest way to get help. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod
S21 · E6
July 8 · 1 hr 2 min
Village Fêtes
Samuel of 84a High Street selects village fêtes as this week’s topic for the beans. You may well ask yourself why Samuel has made this choice and wonder if perhaps Samuel was never voted as Village Fête Prince or if Samuel’s motorised float never podiumed or if Samuel shoved his hand in a lucky dip barrel and pulled it out again expecting to be holding a prize only to find his fingers had been replaced with very long springs but Samuel’s motive for his choice is Samuel’s business and Samuel’s business alone. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Tickets for Henry's tour: www.henrypaker.com Ticket's for Benjamin's Beef And Dairy Network live show: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/podcast/beef-and-dairy-network-podcast-5/ Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod
S21 · E5
July 1 · 59 min
The Roman Empire
Plumbers. Noon. The Planets. Just a few of the things that probably wouldn’t even exist today if it weren’t for the Roman Empire probably. And here’s another one: Luke from Bolton via Bremen. Little wonder then that he chose it as this week’s topic for the Three Bean Salad Podcast (which definitely would have existed either way). Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod
S21 · E4
June 24 · 55 min
Seaside Towns
Seaside towns have had a shaky reputation ever since the people of Hastings lifted the rope for those meddlesome Normans. Almost a millennium on is it time their notoriety was reassessed? Owen of Rhyl thinks yes and that the people for the task are beans three. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod
S21 · E3
June 17 · 1 hr 3 min
The Circus
People often say it’s not the size of a clown’s trousers that matters but the state of the custard pie in the clown’s pocket. Perhaps that’s something we should all reflect on more deeply with peak circus season fast approaching. No doubt that’s what Charlotte was thinking when she luzzed “The Circus” into the Bean Machine for use as this week’s topic. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod
S21 · E2
June 10 · 1 hr 4 min
Agatha Christie
Agatha Christie has had her works translated into more languages than any other author in history according to the most superficial of Googlings. But would she have given a monkey’s? It’s impossible to know and fruitless to ask so why Alan of the Surrey Borders entered her name into the Bean Machine is a mystery the likes of which even Jack Reacher would struggle to solve but we’re here now so let’s all make the most of it. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod
S21 · E1
June 3 · 1 hr 6 min
Martial Arts
Munashe of Birmingham kicks of a new season of the Three Bean Salad by feeding the topic of martial arts into the Bean Machine. So far the Bean Machine hasn’t awoken abruptly from a deep trance-like state to say the words “I know Kung Fu” but you’ll know when it does because it will quickly lead to an extinction level event. With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod Details of Henry's tour here: henrypaker.com Details of Mike's tour here: mrmikewozniak.com

Showing 1–20 of 30 episodes