Love Without Desire: Navigating Spark Loss

You love your partner and you'd choose them again if you had to do it all over, so why did you stop wanting sex with them? As a couples therapist, this is one of the most common things I hear from couples, and it's almost never about love running out. In this episode, I break down why love and desire run on completely different systems, how safety and familiarity can quietly work against your sex life, what becoming a parent does to desire (and why being touched out is different from just being tired), how resentment blocks desire and why waiting for spontaneous desire to strike is a myth that's setting you up to wait forever. I also share practical ways to bring the spark back without adding pressure, including the difference between wanting and willing and one simple exercise you can try tonight. If you've been quietly wondering whether something's wrong with you or your relationship, this episode is for you. Free conflict workbook: https://marievakakis.com.au/why-couples-keep-arguing-and-what-its-really-aboutand-what-its-really-about/ Free guide to sex and intimacy: https://marievakakis.com.au/time-to-talk-a-guide-to-talking-about-sex-and-intimacy/ Relationship Reset course: https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/ 0:00 Why you can love someone and still not want sex with them 6:00 Becoming a parent and feeling touched out 12:00 Resentment and the mental load 15:00 Why waiting for spontaneous desire is a myth 20:00 Bringing back novelty, fun and playfulness ENROL NOW Relationship New Year RESET 2026 https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/ Submit a question to the Podcast https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6