The Uncommons

We Homeschooled for Two Years. Now We're Not So Sure | Ep22

Two years ago we made a decision most people in our lives didn't fully understand.. we pulled our kids out of school and committed to homeschooling completely. Two years later we're sitting with a question we didn't expect to be asking: did we get it right? In this episode we get honest about what two years of homeschooling actually gave our kids, what it cost them, and what it cost us, including the moment Parisa realized she was oscillating between pride and doubt about the same child thirty minutes apart. We talk about the tension between raising free thinkers and raising disciplined kids, why homeschooling made us the enforcers in our own home, and how the spiritual concept surrender became the only framework that made this decision feel possible. We don't resolve it cleanly. But we stay honest all the way through.

• Transcript

The Prenup That Almost Broke Our Marriage: Do We Still Need It? (10 Years Later) | Ep 21

Before we got married, he asked for a prenup. I couldn't sign it. Not because I didn't trust him, but because everything I believed about love, faith, and marriage made the idea of a prenuptial agreement feel like a betrayal of what we were building together. It nearly ended our relationship before our marriage even started. Nearly ten years later, that prenup is still valid. In this episode, we sit down together to ask the question we've never asked out loud: do we still need it? We talk about why he wanted it, why I resisted, what it revealed about how differently we viewed love, money, trust, and security, and what it cost our relationship in those early months. But this conversation goes beyond whether you should get a prenup. We get into the deeper question underneath it all: can a legal contract and complete trust exist in the same marriage? Or does one always undermine the other? And after nearly a decade of marriage, building a family, and building a life together, do the reasons we had for signing that agreement still apply to the people we've become? By the end of this episode, we make a decision. Together. In real time. You'll have to listen to find out what we choose. The Uncommons is a podcast for people who are done with surface-level answers and want to explore what it really takes to build a meaningful life. Every Thursday, we have honest conversations about relationships, identity, family, purpose, and the choices that shape who we become. If these conversations resonate with you, subscribe and join us each week as we keep asking the questions that don't have simple answers.

• Transcript

Fear of Rejection: Why Being Seen Feels So Dangerous | Ep 20

A few weeks ago, my aunt called to tell me the community had found the podcast. I spent the next week confronting a fear of rejection and an anxiety I hadn't felt in years... not because I had done something wrong, but because being seen by people who knew me felt far more threatening than being seen by strangers. In this episode, we explore why the fear of rejection and the fear of being seen aren't personal flaws, and how hiding yourself can be a completely rational response to growing up inside a culture where other people's opinions carry real consequences. We talk about the voice I internalized from childhood, why Parisa questions whether Brené Brown's framework on vulnerability fully accounts for what visibility costs inside collectivist cultures, and what it actually took to decide that being seen was worth whatever it cost. We close with a declaration to anyone who wants us to stay hidden; one of the most honest things we've said on this podcast.

• Transcript

Your Relationship With Food Reveals Who You Are | Ep 19

We are four days into a cleanse as we record this. And by day two, what surfaced had nothing to do with hunger. In this episode, we explore what your relationship with food actually reveals about your relationship with every desire in your life, and why the way you respond to a craving tells you more about who you are than almost anything else. Pej brings his four-layer bridge connecting the gut-brain axis, neuroscience, Ayurveda, and Sufism to explain what actually happens emotionally when we cleanse, and we explore why self discipline around food has never really been about food at all. The question isn't what you're eating. The question is who is doing the choosing.

• Transcript

The Identity Crisis Nobody Talks About (When You Lose What Defines You) | EP18

Who are you without your career? Without your success... Your relationships... Your reputation... Or the roles you've spent your life building? At some point, many of us realize we've confused what we do with who we are. And when life changes—as it inevitably does—it can leave us questioning our identity in ways we never expected. In this episode, we explore the hidden identity crisis that often follows success, major life transitions, and personal loss. Through personal stories, including an experience in a monastery, we discuss why attachment creates suffering, what Sufism and Buddhism teach about the ego, and how letting go of the identities we've built may be the beginning of discovering who we truly are. If you've ever felt like you've built the life you always wanted yet still found yourself searching for something deeper, this conversation is for you.

• Transcript

I left Medicine After 20 Years To Search For Meaning | EP17

Twenty years of practicing medicine in the US. A company built and sold. One of the highest paid employed physician positions in the country on the table. And he said no to all of it, because success had answered every question except the one that actually mattered. In this episode, Pej shares the story he hasn't told publicly before: what drove him to walk away from everything he built, what pulled him to India when his mother was diagnosed with cancer, and what happened when he admitted himself as a patient at an Ayurvedic hospital and experienced healing from the inside for the first time. He left feeling cleaner and more connected than he had in two decades of practicing medicine, and this conversation is about what that experience changed in him permanently, and what he now believes medicine in its current form is missing. If you've ever achieved something significant and still found yourself asking what it was all for, this one will stay with you.

• Transcript

Why People Pleasers Struggle to Set Boundaries | EP16

If you're a people pleaser, saying no doesn't just feel uncomfortable — it feels like you're risking love, connection, and acceptance all at once. In this episode, we get honest about a pattern we both still live with, where it came from, and what it has quietly cost us over time. We talk about why the nervous system learns early that saying no means losing love, why the "good girl" identity becomes a prison, and why guilt after a boundary is a reflex and not a verdict. And we offer the reframe that most people pleasing content misses entirely — the capacity to genuinely give without calculating what you get back is rare and worth keeping. The problem was never the giving. It's that the giving had no floor.

Raising Daughters: Are We Protecting Her or Limiting Her? | Ep15

This episode started as a conversation about overprotective fathers and ended somewhere much more honest. We got into the specific fear each of us is carrying into raising our daughter — he wants to protect her from men, and I want to protect her from the fear of them. I share the story of growing up in Iran where my femininity was never fully mine, the thirty years it took to start reclaiming it, and why I refuse to pass that weight to her. And somewhere in the middle of it all, we asked the question that changed the whole conversation: is this our wounds talking — or our wisdom?

• Transcript

Abundance Without Entitlement: Our Honest Parenting Conversation | EP14

Are we accidentally raising entitled kids? In this episode, we get honest about one of the hardest questions in parenting: where is the line between raising children who feel abundant and raising children who think the world owes them everything? We both grew up with scarcity and rebuilt our relationship with money as adults. Now we're trying to give our kids something neither of us had without overcorrecting into entitlement. We talk about what actually creates entitled children, why over-giving disables rather than protects, and where we genuinely disagree on whether kids should earn money or simply feel provided for. This is just a real conversation from two parents still figuring it out.

• Transcript

What We Actually Need in a Long-Term Partner | Ep13

Most people have a list. The problem is that the list is usually made of what we think we want—not what we actually need. In this episode, we reflect on how our views of relationships evolved over time and the qualities we've come to value most in a long-term partner. We share the lessons that came from past relationships, the assumptions we got wrong, and the characteristics that ultimately mattered most when building a life together. We discuss: What we thought we wanted at twenty How past relationships shaped our understanding of partnership The qualities we value most in a man and a woman Accountability, emotional awareness, and resilience What actually creates compatibility between two people Why love alone isn't enough to sustain a relationship At its core, this episode is about the difference between attraction and partnership... and the qualities that become increasingly important once real life begins. Welcome to The Uncommons; where we explore the dualities of modern life and what it really takes to build something meaningful.

• Transcript

Muslim Wife, Jewish Husband: What Makes an Interfaith Marriage Work? | Ep12

Can an interfaith marriage really work? As a Muslim woman and a Jewish man, we've heard that question countless times throughout our relationship. While many people focus on religious differences, we've found that shared values often have a much greater impact on the success of a marriage than shared labels. In this episode, we explore what it's like building a life together while coming from different religious and cultural backgrounds. We discuss: What makes an interfaith marriage work Growing up Muslim and Jewish Religion vs. spirituality The role of shared values in a relationship How our beliefs have evolved over time Raising children in an interfaith family Curiosity, personal growth, and challenging inherited beliefs What truly matters when building a meaningful life together This conversation isn't about convincing anyone what to believe. It's about exploring the relationship between faith, identity, values, and the choices we make when building a marriage and raising a family. At its core, this episode asks a simple question: What matters more in a relationship: shared beliefs or shared values?

• Transcript

What Makes a Man Finally Commit? From a Man Who Avoided Marriage for 50 Years | Ep11

For most of our relationship, commitment wasn't something we viewed the same way. One of us believed marriage was a natural next step when building a life together. The other spent 50 years avoiding it. In this episode, we explore one of the biggest questions in relationships: What actually makes someone commit? We talk about: Fear of commitment vs. fear of losing freedom How childhood experiences shape our views on marriage Why some people resist commitment even when they're deeply in love The transition from "I" to "we" Identity shifts that happen after marriage What ultimately changed our perspective on commitment Along the way, we share stories from our own relationship, including a proposal that technically wasn't a proposal, years of debating the meaning of marriage, and the gradual mindset shifts that transformed a lifelong bachelor into a husband and father. At its core, this episode isn't really about marriage. It's about the tension between freedom and commitment, and the realization that sometimes the things we fear most are the very things that help us grow.

The Emotional Reality of Co-Parenting No One Talks About | Ep10

Co-Parenting, Blended Families & Learning Compassionate Boundaries This episode of The Uncommons is one of our most personal yet. It's the story of how we built a blended family through circumstances neither of us fully understood when we stepped into them, and what it actually took emotionally to survive and grow through it. We explore: ✔ How our relationship began and what we walked into before we were even married ✔ What it felt like to become a wife and a stepmother almost at the same time ✔ The emotional reality of co-parenting beyond the logistics, including divided homes, unresolved tension, and a child who just wants everyone together ✔ How we kept swinging between compassion and boundaries, and why both extremes created their own problems ✔ The realization that it's not always the situation creating conflict, it's the meaning we assign to it ✔ What it means to hold happiness and guilt at the same time without letting either one win ✔ How we learned to choose emotional peace over reaction, and why that shift changed everything Building a blended family doesn't come with a roadmap. There is no perfect balance to find. What we've learned is that it requires continuously choosing to love, regulate, and grow through emotional complexity, even when no one is asking you to and no one is watching. If you're navigating a blended family, a co-parenting situation, or any relationship that carries more emotional weight than people can see from the outside, this one is for you.

• Transcript

Why We Chose Homeschooling for Our Kids | Ep9

Why We Chose Homeschooling: Intentional Parenting, Emotional Development & Raising Kids in the AI Era This episode of The Uncommons isn't a debate about homeschooling versus traditional school. It's a deeper conversation about the environment children are actually developing inside, and whether that environment aligns with the values you want to raise them with. We explore: ✔ Why we chose homeschooling and what finally made the decision clear ✔ What school transmits beyond academics: peer influence, social conditioning, and values absorbed subconsciously ✔ Why emotional safety and regulation should come before performance and productivity in early childhood ✔ The tension between exposure and protection and how to hold both without swinging to extremes ✔ How real-life social skills are becoming more valuable in an era of screens and AI ✔ The cultural contrast between family-centered Eastern upbringings and the institution-first Western model ✔ The trade-offs we openly acknowledge, including the role our own parenting fears play in these decisions This episode marks a turning point in the podcast, expanding beyond marriage and relationships into parenting philosophy, cultural values, and what it actually means to raise children with intention in the modern world. If you've ever questioned whether the environment your child is in reflects who you actually want them to become, this conversation is for you.

• Transcript

Traditional vs. Modern Roles at Home and Where We Clash | Ep8

Traditional vs. Modern Roles in Marriage: What Nobody Talks About After Having Kids Are traditional gender roles in marriage making a quiet comeback, even for couples who never expected them? In this episode of The Uncommons, we share how our relationship roles shifted dramatically after becoming parents and why we stopped fighting it. We explore: ✔ How unspoken expectations quietly create resentment between partners ✔ How clear structure inside a household creates more freedom, not less ✔ Why "equality" inside a marriage can become unsustainable after children ✔ The difference between emotional load and mental load and who carries both ✔ Whether two ambitious parents can both go full-force in their careers while raising young children This is not a debate about feminism or traditionalism. It's an honest conversation about what actually works inside a real family and why clarity about roles often does more for a marriage than endless renegotiation. If you've ever felt the tension between who you planned to be and who your family actually needs you to become, this one's for you.

• Transcript

The Double Standard in Marriage | Ep7

We talk about the differences between men and women in relationships, the double standards that come up, and how understanding those differences can change the way we see each other. In a light and funny way.

• Transcript

Our Son’s Accident and How We Held Our Family Together | Ep6

We talk about our son’s horrific ski accident: how we navigate fear, uncertainty, and the emotions that came with it, in real time. This is one of those challenges that could break us apart but we share how we actively choose to stay courageous and face it all together.

• Transcript

Is Your Ambition Costing Your Family? | Ep5

We talk about the internal tension between pursuing ambition and wanting to be present for a young family: wanting to achieve more while also being present and attentive to the needs of people who matter most, and how we navigate and struggle with that balance.

• Transcript

When Love Feels Hard: Prioritizing Marriage in the Chaos | Ep4

We talk about marriage and romance challenges while caring for small kids: The Challenges of prioritizing your marriage when life gets overwhelming. From kids to business to exhaustion and what it takes to choose each other even when resentment builds.

• Transcript

From Me to Us: Our Identity Shifts Through Marriage & Family | Ep2

We talk about the identity shifts that happen in marriage and while growing a family: from independence to partnership, control to letting go, and how both of us have changed along the way.

• Transcript