the tortoise & the hare

Soft Life: Episode 13

If you spend any time on TikTok, you've probably seen the #softlife trend pop up over the past couple of years. Brooke and Ben aren't on TikTok, so are late to the party as usual, but wanted to dive into the sister movement of slow living anyway. In today's episode, they look at what soft living is, where it began, how it relates to slow living, and why it's following a similar trajectory as that of self-care, slow living, and other counter-cultural movements. (ie. becoming increasingly mainstream and commercial). They look at soft living as the opposite of hard living (which proves both obvious and helpful) and try to define it for themselves. For Brooke it revolves around joy, and for Ben its in learning how to ask for help - both of which offer unexpected ways of looking at softness. They also talk about the consumerism attached to these movements, and offer some practical suggestions on how to create space for softness in your day-to-day life. Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. Thanks for listening! Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit brookemcalary.substack.com/subscribe

Curveballs: Episode 12

You know the feeling. Life is motoring on in much the way you expected it to, you’ve got plans, you’ve got goals and then — BAM — a curveball gets whacked your way. Suddenly the plans, the goals, the vague idea of what we thought life would look like are shaken. In this month's episode of The Tortoise, Brooke and Ben are talking curveballs, trying to answer the question of how to navigate the unexpected challenges life can throw in our way. In this conversation they look at what defines a curveball, how to use some of the ideas of slow living to help navigate them, as well as: - examples of curveballs they've faced themselves recently - the role that simply noticing — our emotions, our stories, our egos — can play in accepting and moving forward once we face an unexpected challenge- “feeling our feelings” as the first step in moving on from a curveball, and why there are many different ways to do that- how acceptance of what is can help us to move forward and why it’s such a difficult thing to achieve- the rising movement of Stoicism and concerns about the difference between being stoic and repressed- two different ways of using perspective to reframe our curveballs over time- the role of gratitude in moving on from an abrupt life change, and why we can’t always rush straight to it- why self-care is so important when navigating new life circumstances Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. Thanks for listening! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit brookemcalary.substack.com/subscribe

Curveballs: Episode 12

You know the feeling. Life is motoring on in much the way you expected it to, you’ve got plans, you’ve got goals and then — BAM — a curveball gets whacked your way. Suddenly the plans, the goals, the vague idea of what we thought life would look like are shaken. In this month's episode of The Tortoise, Brooke and Ben are talking curveballs, trying to answer the question of how to navigate the unexpected challenges life can throw in our way. In this conversation they look at what defines a curveball, how to use some of the ideas of slow living to help navigate them, as we as: examples of some curveballs they've faced themselves recently the role that simply noticing — our emotions, our stories, our egos — can play in accepting and moving forward once we face an unexpected challenge “feeling our feelings” as the first step in moving on from a curveball, and why there are many different ways to do that how acceptance of what is can help us to move forward and why it’s such a difficult thing to achieve the rising movement of Stoicism and concerns about the difference between being stoic and repressed two different ways of using perspective to reframe our curveballs over time the role of gratitude in moving on from an abrupt life change, and why we can’t always rush straight to it why self-care is so important when navigating new life circumstances Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. Thanks for listening! Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit brookemcalary.substack.com/subscribe

Joyful Living: Episode 11

Today’s episode is all about joyful living. What it is, what it isn’t, how to get more of it and how it differs from happiness. Stemming from Brooke's intention to try and find more joy in 2024, this conversation is delightfully and unexpectedly wide-ranging, and in it Ben and Brooke explore the definition of joy, and why it means so many different things to so many different people, how joy differs from happiness and how it is similar, the role that alcohol has on our ability to experience happiness and joy (and how Brooke's experience has changed since she stopped drinking), how to adopt a lens of joy and happiness to life when you’re not a joyful person by default, why choosing joy is a revolutionary act, and how we can add more joy to our lives. Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, including links to the articles mentioned in today's episode, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. Thanks for listening! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit brookemcalary.substack.com/subscribe

Joyful Living: Episode 11

Today’s episode is all about joyful living. What it is, what it isn’t, how to get more of it and how it differs from happiness. Stemming from Brooke's intention to try and find more joy in 2024, this conversation is delightfully and unexpectedly wide-ranging, and in it Ben and Brooke explore: the definition of joy, and why it means so many different things to so many different people why much of the literature around joy is religious or spiritual how joy differs from happiness and how it is similar the role that alcohol has on our ability to experience happiness and joy (and how Brooke's experience has changed since she stopped drinking) how to adopt a lens of joy and happiness to life when you’re not a joyful person by default why choosing joy is a revolutionary act what the difference is between choosing joy and toxic positivity how we can add more joy to our lives Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, including links to the articles mentioned in today's episode, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. Thanks for listening! Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit brookemcalary.substack.com/subscribe

Top Ten of 2023: Episode 10

Welcome to Episode 10 of The Tortoise, the podcast (plodcast!) that digs deep into the possibilities of slow. You can listen to the podcast right here, or if you’d prefer, subscribe via Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favourite pod-dealing platform. If you’re new to The Tortoise — Welcome! Thank you for coming over! — you can sign up to the newsletter below to make sure you don’t miss an episode of the pod, and you’ll also receive a slow-living letter in your inbox every Thursday-ish. The Topic: Top Ten of 2023 Back in the days of The Slow Home Pod, we used to record a ‘Top 10’ episode at the end of every year, where we would list some of our favourite moments, experiences, places, films etc. It felt like a nice excuse to look back, and a relaxed way to wind up. So, we decided to bring it back this year for The Tortoise. Before we get into our Top Ten lists though, Ben and I spend some time reflecting more broadly on the year — lessons we’ve learnt, successes and failures we’ve had. We started out with fairly measured expectations, “2023: just don’t suck!” and overall, I think we achieved that, which actually feels good considering how low the bar was in the first place! Perhaps unsurprisingly, we both struggle to keep our answer succinct as we dive into our Top Tens, but it was a lot of fun to try. Listen in as we walk through our favourite: * TV show * Small detail * Movie * New destination * Book (you know I failed to limit this one) * Discovery * Album * New listening (podcast or otherwise) * Meal * Experience It’s a fun thing to do together, and we’d love to hear your own Top Ten list for 2023. As Ben says, it also gives us loads of ideas to check out next year (I think many of my book selections come from you, so thank you!) Do you have any stand-out favourites? The Links Below is a list of links discussed in today’s episode. If I’ve forgotten any, please let me know in the comments: * The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune * Shadow & Bone by Leigh Bardugo * Nightbirds by Kate J. Armstrong * Isles of the Gods by Amie Kaufman * The Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson * Holly by Stephen King * Fairy Tale by Stephen King * Blurry Vision by Shred Kelly * Too Hot for Gravy by Seamus McAlary * Rat Saw God by Wednesday * Ecstasy of Gold by Ennio Morriccone * Rise Up (orchestral version) by The Fat Rat * How Other Dads Dad by Hamish Blake * Matildas vs France penalty shootout * Join The Tortoise community on Substack * Subscribe to the podcast in your favourite app (Apple Podcasts, Spotify, etc) We’re taking a break now, which means no new podcast episode in January, but I have scheduled a couple of posts to come out early next year. One on values and one on defining our 1% experiments. I hope they arrive in your inbox at a time that feels full of possibility and curiosity. Thank you again for your support this year as we launched this new, unedited, slice of life plodcast. We had no idea if anyone would enjoy it, and seeing the response has been brilliant. We can’t wait for next year. (Well, that’s not technically true. We’re in need of a break. Then we’ll be back!) Wishing you and yours a restful, restorative, joyful break. Brooke and Ben xx This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit brookemcalary.substack.com/subscribe

2023 Top Ten: Episode 10

Welcome to Episode 10 of The Tortoise - the p(l)odcast all about the possibilities of slow. In today's show — the final one for 2023 — Brooke and Ben look back over the year that was and walk through their personal Top Ten list. That is, their favourite: TV show Small detail Movie New destination Book (you know I failed to limit this one) Discovery Album New listening (podcast or otherwise) Meal Experience It’s a fun thing to do together, and they'd love to hear your Top Ten list for 2023. Head over to The Tortoise to share your list and to see the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. Thanks for listening, and see you in 2024! Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit brookemcalary.substack.com/subscribe

Addiction: Episode 9

This month's episode digs into the topic of addiction (and more broadly, obsessive behaviour) for things like tech-use, busyness, food and consumption. If you need help with addiction or mental health, there's a list of resources over at The Tortoise. In today's show, Ben shares his experience with tech over-use and the links he sees between it and the hustle-grind-capitalism-productivity culture, and he and Brooke look at how the proliferation of tech (especially smart phones and social media) have increased our desire for instant gratification. Brooke talks through her compulsion to consume bad news, and shares a few ways she's trying to break those patterns of behaviour. She also talks about the role that tech and consumerism intertwine to create a world that feels simultaneously too much and not enough, and how that has her and many other women she knows feeling angry. It's an interesting and meandering conversation that will hopefully leave you with lots to think about. Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. Thanks for listening! Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hard Times: Episode 8

Today Brooke and Ben are talking about hard times. Or more specifically, how to deal with the emotional heaviness that comes from living through really difficult things. Digging into this feeling of heaviness, they discuss how they're trying to acknowledge and accept the challenges, as well as the tools they use to help them move forward. They also talk about practical ways to protect ourselves when things feel hard, why limiting social media is a powerful way of drawing boundaries, the impact of gentle activism, why rage-cleaning can help process anger, the rebelliousness of finding joy and why pairing all of these things with action is so important. Hopefully this conversation shows that it’s okay to look for and hold onto joy in amongst the difficult times. Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. Thanks for listening! Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seasonal Living: Episode 7

In this month's episode, Brooke and Ben dig into the topic of seasonal living. Not only the calendar kind of seasonal living, but also the other seasons that exist in life too. The ones that don’t change every three months. The internal seasons, the life seasons, the in-built cycles and rhythms that — whether we realise it or not — have a profound impact on how we live, how we grow, how we show up in the world. They begin with a pretty traditional look at what seasonal living means — that is, how it can impact the food we eat, the activities we do, our energy, our personal environmental impact, our connection to the world around us and the rhythms that drive it all. But from there, they dig into the broader conversation around seasonal living, including the seasons we experience throughout life, why many people find themselves resistant to the stereotypical ‘spring, summer, autumn, winter’ analogy, the archetypes that mark our way through adulthood and the importance of recognising the inherent messiness of transitions. It's thought-provoking and juicy in all the best ways. Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. Thanks for listening! Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Self-care: Episode 6

For a term we throw around a lot, self-care is not all that well defined. It’s attached loosely to the ideas of wellness, self-help, relaxation and mindfulness, and so often comes to us packaged, commoditised and ready to be bought/sold. Ben and Brooke start today’s episode by trying to define self-care, and eventually land on one that is as broad and inclusive as possible: Self-care can be anything that leaves us feeling cared for or supported from within. From there, they dig deeper into their own experiences of self-care, including how they make time for it, what constitutes "boring self-care", the weird rituals that act as self-care on the days there's not a lot of time and the parts of self-care they struggle with. Brooke then reflects on a comment left on a recent Tortoise newsletter about toxic positivity, which asked about the difference between resilience, positive thinking, wallowing and toxic positivity. It's a juicy topic that both Brooke and Ben have some thoughts on, and will no doubt return to again. Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. Thanks for listening! Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Tech and Kids: Episode 5

For our kids (and adults as well), there is barely a part of life that isn't somehow connected to smartphones, social media or screens, and they're starting to feel the effects of being constantly connected. In today's episode, Ben and Brooke talk about their experience raising two high school-ages kids (12 and 14) and the constant negotiations around tech boundaries. They also talk about the broader impact that high levels of screen time are having on kids in general, the challenges that are beginning to emerge in regards to relationships, well-being and self-esteem, and what we as adults can do to help support them. Brooke also reflects on a hugely impactful documentary she saw recently, that has given her something that's been in short supply lately: hope. Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Mental Load: Episode 4

It's a phrase we hear a lot about — the mental load — but what does it actually mean? And how can we navigate life while carrying it? Brooke and Ben discuss their differing definitions of mental load and how it plays out for them personally. They also dig into the broader conversation (Is a heavier mental load a gender issue or one of personality? Is it about convenience? Does it differ across generations?) and look at suggestions on how to make changes that could help lessen or even out the load in a relationship. In the reflection part of the pod they discuss the big, beautiful benefits of being content versus being happy, and dig into how our values might help define both contentment/happiness. Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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The Sandwich Generation: Episode 3

If you're feeling squashed between competing needs - raising kids and caring for parents while trying to work/live/look after yourself, for example - then this episode is for you. Brooke and Ben talk about what it means to be a part of the 'sandwich generation', and why, for them, it represents a transition rather than a challenge to be overcome. They discuss what being sandwiched could look like, why the additional pressures of caring so often fall to women, how they manage expectations, why they're thinking so far into the future, the slow living tools that might help, and yes, their favourite sandwiches (yes, really). In the reflection part of the pod, they talk about different types of community, and the lightbulb moment that came in a recent comments section over on The Tortoise. Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Social Media and Wellness: Episode 2

What exactly is "wellness" anyway? We hear it tossed about as an umbrella term covering health and fitness and diet and mental well-being and any number of topics, but what does it mean to try and achieve wellness? And what does any of it have to do with slow living? In today's episode, Brooke and Ben dig into wellness and social media - the good, the bad, the quackery, the evidence-based and the liver-eating diets - exploring the messy mixture of influencers, algorithms and genuine well-being tools that exist in the trillion-dollar industry. It's an interesting and fraught conversation, because not only do definitions of wellness differ greatly, as do our individual levels of access, exposure and finances, but there is a clear crossover between wellness and diet culture that muddies the waters even more. And, while some of it is undoubtedly harmful, there are many parts of the wellness industry that offer genuine help too. Brooke and Ben look at their own experiences with wellness influencers, as well as their own hang-ups, privileges and blind spots. In the reflection segment, they discuss the benefits of embracing physical discomfort, which leads to a conversation about the different kinds of discomforts we might experience and the pros and cons they offer. They both give a quick update on their year-long experiments (the 1% and the four-day work week), one of which is going well, the other...not so much. Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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The Four-Day Work Week: Episode 1

Welcome to the first episode of The Tortoise - a podcast that digs deep into the power of slow. Brooke and Ben are back with the first full episode of The Tortoise, and it's a good'un. They start by talking about what you can expect from the ploddie, and then dig in to today's juicy topic: is a four-day work week feasible? This is a hot-button issue right now, as many companies around the world look to the results of a recent six-month four-day working week trial. Ben talks through his own experiment with trying to establish one, and the benefits and challenges of doing so as a self-employed person, while Brooke puts her idealist hat on and talks through a couple of interesting case studies. They also dig into the topic of hobbies - What are they? Do we need to try and improve at them? What happens if we want to turn a hobby into an income? - and discover that it's harder than we think to separate productivity from leisure. Brooke also gives an update on her 1% experiment and Ben talks about his Japanese lessons as his current form of continual improvement. Head over to The Tortoise for the Episode 1 show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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