The Stay or Go Podcast for Women Considering Divorce

Unmanaged Complex PTSD: How It Affects Your Life & Relationships

Feb 27, 2024 · 52 min · 37.7 MB

0:00-52:21

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Episode 11: Hey loves! 🥰 Just me and Jake, chilling at home today, feeling so refreshed after the sweetest birthday getaway in Deep Ellum, Dallas. (Side note: thrift shopping with someone you're dating? 10/10 recommend — cuteness overload! 🛍️✨)

But here’s the real magic I really want to share with you…

This episode is all about Complex PTSD — why accepting that I have it has been the most profound gift I’ve given myself this year. It’s the book that opened my eyes: Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker—if you resonate with anything I share today, go get it. Trust. 🚀

Here's What We're Unpacking:

What is Complex PTSD?
Pete Walker breaks it down into five core parts: emotional flashbacks, toxic shame, self-abandonment, a brutal inner critic, and social anxiety. If you're nodding along to any of these — welcome, you're in powerful company. 👯‍♀️
Emotional Flashbacks
Have you ever suddenly felt like a scared, helpless child? Like Thanksgiving dinner turned terror? I’ve been there. It’s disorienting—but once labeled, you can begin to heal. 🧠❤️
Toxic Shame
That gut-wrenching shame that says you're “ugly” or “broken”? That's trauma, not truth. I’ll tell you about the time I felt utterly annihilated by my mom’s contempt, and how learning this changed everything. 😔✊
Passive Suicidal Ideation
Wish the car would just swerve and end it all? You’re not alone—and you’re absolutely not “crazy.” This might be a sign of an emotional flashback—not a sign of your worth. It’s intense, but normal—for those of us who’ve hidden this for too long. 🌌🆙
Why It Matters:
Understanding CPTSD means realizing: this pain isn’t who you are—it’s a result of trauma. Recognizing this shifts everything. It’s like managing diabetes—a lifelong condition, yes—but one you can live with beautifully. 💉→🌿
The Healing Power of Acceptance:
Letting go of the “salvation fantasy” (“I’ll heal and be done forever”) was one of the hardest things…yet so liberating. Now, when flashbacks show up, I pause, breathe, and walk through them—loving myself through it. That shift? It’s total life change. 💫

Silver Linings and Sacred Shifts:

I’m so much kinder to myself—and to others.
Dating? Now I know to choose people who understand trauma, who are anchored—and hella supportive. Loving him, loving me, healing together. 🥂
With my kids? I’ve learned to say, “Hey sweethearts, my nervous system’s feeling off right now. I need a moment to come back.” It’s parenting with awareness—and modeling compassionate self-care. 👩‍👧‍👦❣️

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