
His First Pill Felt Like Love. 20 Years Later He Found the Real Thing | Colin Sandidge
Colin Sandidge was a gifted kid from Kingsport, Tennessee who learned early that vulnerability gets punished and love has to be earned. At 12, his first pain pill felt like love. By 15 he was arrested in Mexico on a family vacation. He made it into a nuclear engineering and mathematics program, then spent the next 20 years in opioid addiction, methadone and meth across Appalachia. At 32, he sat in rehab crying because he couldn't use a microwave. In Part 1 of this conversation on The Relentless Pursuit Podcast, Colin takes Joe Adams through a childhood built on performance, the prayers he prayed every morning before getting high anyway, the drug dealers who loved him enough to tell him to go to rehab, and the stranger who taught him how to cook an egg instead of taking. Today Colin works at an international bank, is finishing a data science degree, trains for Hyrox, and sponsors young men in recovery. This is a story about addiction recovery, men's mental health, generational trauma, and learning to love yourself. Part 2 goes into the 13-day silent retreat, Buddhism and Christ, and the mission Colin is building. CONTENT NOTE: This episode includes discussion of suicide and drug use. If you're struggling, call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline). For substance use support, call the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357. SPONSORED BY NASHVILLE FIT, BODYWELL AND B2 WELLNESS SUITES Three brands, one wellness ecosystem. Nashville Fit: [LINK] BodyWell: [LINK] B2 Wellness Suites: [LINK] CONNECT WITH COLIN @coefficientofcolin @outlaw.coaching CHAPTERS 00:00 Cold open 01:32 Welcome 03:34 4:35 a.m.: life today 05:31 The mission: data science and recovery 07:44 Kingsport, the 423 09:03 The kitchen card: "Vulnerability is punished" 12:38 "You perform, you get love" 17:21 The smart kid who felt like an idiot 22:59 "I'm going to hell, I'm gonna make it worth it" 25:10 Sponsor: Nashville Fit, BodyWell, B2 Wellness Suites 26:25 "Fear is the most successful drug there is" 28:52 The first pain pill at 12 30:44 Arrested in Mexico at 15 33:03 Cocaine at 15 35:25 Nuclear engineering and a 0.8 GPA 38:01 When chaos becomes comfort 40:25 "You want a Xanax?" 42:39 Nine days (content note) 44:06 Off methadone, into meth 45:32 "I was gonna make everyone pay" 49:42 Praying, then using: the audition videos 53:26 "I am strong, I am capable" 59:29 Seeing evil in the dope game 1:01:48 The dealer who said go to rehab 1:04:20 The microwave and "You're scared" 1:08:24 "You take their peace of mind" 1:12:58 The druggie buggy and finding the dharma 1:14:52 The grill and the '85 Eldorado 1:16:43 "No right to look down on anybody" 1:18:43 Running the show 1:20:39 The little girl and the ice cream 1:26:08 Training the mind 1:30:30 Healing anger 1:35:39 Becoming the whole man 1:37:44 "We are love playing with itself" 1:42:58 What is your relentless pursuit? 1:45:49 Closing #RelentlessPursuit #AddictionRecovery #RecoveryStory #MensMentalHealth #SobrietyJourney #OpioidRecovery #Appalachia #Vulnerability #Podcast