The Lizard Review

The Lizard

Detailed amphibious rantings on songs, artists, records, and rocks.

thelizardreview.substack.com

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115 episodes
Updated Saturday
Explicit

Episodes115

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Apr 11, 2025 · 1 hr 2 min
The Lizard's Top 15 Y2K Songs
One of my all time favorite time periods of music had it all...the best boy bands and girl bands in history, some of the most iconic female pop stars of all time, iconic producers, and legendary iconography. It ALSO had misogyny, villainous men topping the charts, and beloved female pop stars punching one another backstage at the VMA's. Nonetheless, I love y2k, flaws and all, and I decided to (attempt) to count down fifteen of my favorite songs from the era. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Apr 4, 2025 · 1 hr 1 min
Happiness vs Happiness
Happiness is a butterfly...or is happiness a sunset? There will be happiness after you...or will it always escape from my hands into moonlight? Two different schools of thought on the same concept are presented by two of the most established and prolific female songwriters in the world - Lana Del Rey and Taylor Swift. On the one hand, Taylor Swift writes a full narrative of the five stages of grief and how to get back to happiness after all of it in her song Happiness from Evermore. On the other, Lana Del Rey wonders if it's even possible to ever get back to happiness at all on Happiness Is a Butterfly from NFR. Let's examine BOTH of these songs and determine if either of these women are actually mentally stable enough to be giving anyone advice about anything... This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Mar 28, 2025 · 52 min
Severance and Sandwich
Many of you are aware of my ritual of watching the new episode of Severance every Friday while eating a sandwich...nothing has ever been more important to me in the history of the world...and now that season two has officially concluded, there was no new Severance and no sandwich to be had...so I decided to bring Severance and Sandwich to the Lizard Review for a little bit of a kiki on my personal experience with the show now that we're two seasons in, some opinions on the weirdoness of the fandom, and some interesting conversations about show's storylines and themes. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Mar 14, 2025 · 55 min
The Lizard's Top 5 Greatest Pop Ballads of All Time
In the past five years, the number of truly great, iconic, and timeless pop ballads has dwindled significantly in comparison to years prior...WHERE ARE ALL THE GREAT POP BALLADS?!?!?!?!?! Join me as I struggle to answer this question, clarify what is NEEDED in order to create one of these iconic pop ballads, AND as I count down my personal top five GREATEST pop ballads ever created. Playlist on Spotify // Apple Music This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Feb 28, 2025 · 48 min
Learning the Basics of Szanese
SZA is one of the most innovative, unique, and talented artists working in music right now and she also happens to be one of my favorite artists as well. In this episode, come along with me and learn the basic fundamentals of engaging with SZA's music in the best possible way you can. Take Beyonce's advice and remove the barriers of genre from your mind, and soon, you will find yourself realizing that genre really is just another word that means only what we decide it means... This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Feb 21, 2025 · 51 min
New Music Friday : Call Me When It's Doomsday
Friday only comes along every once in a blue moon...on THIS New Music Friday, we get into the brand new single by up and coming band Sunday (1994), as well as the new single from Selena Gomez featuring Gracie Abrams from the already ill-fated collaborative record being cobbled together with Benny Blanco. Plus, the new album from It Girl Tate McRae, and a shocking reminder from Marina that sometimes it's okay to leave before the party is over... This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Feb 14, 2025 · 52 min
The Only Exception is Mine
Happy Valentine's Day! In honor of the magnificence of this holiday, I did a bit of a sister song lyrical analysis of TWO songs that I believe fully encapsulate the spirit of the day and that I also believe are intrinsically and inextricably linked together and have been since the dawn of time - one Paramore song, one Taylor Swift song! I also start the episode off by detailing a truly demented dream that I had and confess that I sincerely believe my dreams can tell prophecies. Typical Friday stuff. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Feb 7, 2025 · 50 min
Lizard Ketchup : Sarah Michelle Gellar Says Abracadabra in a Sports Car
Oh if only there were a man in my life who wasn't working on Super Bowl Sunday...catch up with me on some of the latest pop culture news including the Super Bowl and all its nonsense featuring Queen SZA gallantly allowing Kendrick on stage, what albums we have to look forward to in the next couple of months, an impending Buffy the Vampire Slayer reboot, and all of the latest music from January. INCLUDING : Tate McRae, Lady Gaga, Jennie and that character from Euphoria everyone hated, and Sabrina Carpenter. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Jan 31, 2025 · 1 hr
Foolish One, Step Away From The Mailbox Slowly and With Your Hands Up
A lyrical analysis of one of the GREATEST songs that almost never was...a vault track deep from the archives of the original Golden Era of Taylor Swift : Foolish One from Speak Now (Taylor's Version.) It's one of the best vault tracks because it does everything a vault track should do - shed more light on songs from long ago, take us right back to the time period it would have originally existed in, and give us a strong case of nostalgia ULTIMATE. Foolish One, you son of a b***h.... This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Jan 24, 2025 · 1 hr 8 min
The Lizard's Essential Albums : The One That Changed A Genre Forever
This was an album about growing up, about moving away, about changing from a girl into a woman, about navigating the world while being unsure of how (or even if) you fit into it. It was also an album that shook the foundations of pop so much that it launched the careers of dozens of other girls after it, that pissed men off, that confused critics, and that changed the way I would look at music for the rest of my life. It's an album that will forever be an iconic piece of my history, whether it also happened to teach me internalized misogyny or not. Essential Playlist on Spotify // On Apple Music This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Jan 17, 2025 · 1 hr 8 min
Grammy's 2025 Final Predictions
In one of the most STACKED Grammy's for the girls in recent memory, it's hard to pick favorites OR frontrunners....we have Miss Pretty Girl Sabrina Carpenter, Miss I'm Everywhere I'm So Julia Charli XCX, Miss I'm LITERALLY Everywhere Taylor Swift, Miss Congeniality Chappell Roan, and Miss Cowboy Carter herself Beyonce. And that's just the beginning... here's me doing my best to put my FINAL word in on who I think will win, should win, or WILL NOT be winning at this year's Grammy Awards. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Jan 10, 2025 · 58 min
New Music Friday : The Wild and Woolly Ethel Cain Record
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Jan 1, 2025 · 1 hr 7 min
The Lizard's Year End Roundup : 2024
Defining suicidal ideation for Elmo, getting caught up in one of the most obvious PR-created hate trains of the decade, Luigi, the end of an Eras, cowboys, and MORE are all what helped to define 2024 as a year of evanescent everything, from viral trends to culturally impactful music to everything in-between. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Dec 20, 2024 · 48 min
The Legend of Cece Natalie : Real Miss Raunchy B***h
Drinking detox tea outside the AMC. Stealing gas money so she can ride the mechanical bull like she's a cowgirl. Calling the cops on your new girlfriend. Scoring 40's. Working at the trampoline park part time. Recording vocals in her mother's Kia. Doing Paper Magazine interviews in her minions pajama pants. Making one of the best albums of 2024 from her living room with a blanket up as a divider for privacy. Cece Natalie is part of the new wave of pop music that we don't even fully understand yet - an innovative, creative, self-made self-produced self-written 19 year old who's blowing up (kinda.) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Dec 6, 2024 · 54 min
For Those Of Us Who Do NOT Live In A Cave With A Dog
Happy Holidays!!! Here's some of the Christmas music I've been adding to my ever expanding Christmas playlist this year, from Kelly Clarkson, to Ella Fitzgerald, to The Carpenters. Also, an evisceration of yet ANOTHER of Gwen Stefani's baffling tributes to Blake Shelton (yeah, it's a Christmas record, for some goddamn reason.) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Nov 29, 2024 · 1 hr 2 min
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus : REVISITED
On the walls of long forgotten about structures buried deep beneath the sands of time, there is an old fable etched in a language that no one speaks anymore. It is a tale of love lost, of infatuation, of meeting the wrong person at the wrong time, and of heartbreak. It is a tale that spans decades, that spans eras, that spans across timelines, that spans across lovers and outfits and rules....it is the story of CHLOE, SAM, SOPHIA, and MARCUS, and it's the greatest story ever told. I've already lyrically analyzed it before, but let's go deeper, girls....let's dig this son of a b***h up and dust it off. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Nov 22, 2024 · 55 min
ACCESS ALL LIZARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Allow me to introduce you to your new favorite girl band...Flo just released their debut LP titled ACCESS ALL AREAS - a referential, nostalgic, y2k r&b bonanza inspired by the likes of Destiny's Child, but put together by three young gen z women who have been working to put this album together for nearly five entire years. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Nov 15, 2024 · 48 min
A Tortured Poet is the Muse
What do Taylor Swift and Halsey have in common...? Well, they're both writers, they're both creatives...and they both dated the exact same TORTURED POET and lived to write about it, and in doing so have given us an interesting codex of songs to compare and contrast. In this episode, I pull apart Halsey's Lonely Is The Muse from her latest record The Great Impersonator, and reflect on what it means to actually BE a muse, and how the experience can often intersect in surprising ways with sexism and gender. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Oct 31, 2024 · 1 hr 23 min
It's Just a Bunch of Hocus Pocus
Happy Halloween!!!!!!!!! Here's an early episode 🎃 One of the most iconic pieces of Halloween history is a little film starring three queens (Bette Midler, SJP, and Kathy Najimy) that captures the essence of what Halloween felt like when you were a kid - magical, ripe with possibility, and creepy. It was a massive commercial and critical FLOP when it was first released, but over time, this film has become one of the greatest cult classic success stories, and is watched by MILLIONS of people every single year. I couldn't think of anything better to celebrate one of the best holidays of all time than to take a deep dive into Hocus Pocus ✨ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe
Oct 25, 2024 · 1 hr 12 min
Halsey Impersonates Monstro Elisasue For Her Album The Great Impersonator
This is the story of a thousand wigs, a thousand tears, a thousand hours, a thousand years, a thousand shows, a thousand influences, a thousand hurts from the biggest to the smallest, and of a thousand different people, one of them being myself, somehow all of them being Halsey. They told her she has no sense of identity, and they asked her, "do you even know who you are?" The Great Impersonator repeats this question. Do YOU even know who you are? What are we, if we are not just the sum of our own thousands of people? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe