The Estranged Heart

Kreed Revere

Support and community for navigating the emotional storms of parent and adult child estrangement and repairing and transforming relationships with one another in healthy and productive ways.

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S6 · E288
Sunday · 16 min
EP288: Kreed - YOU Lack Compassion!
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores why compassion can feel like taking sides in family estrangement. After an estranged parent criticized her direct approach, an adult child responded that the directness was precisely what helped her. Those two reactions opened a larger conversation about grief, validation, accountability, and what happens when recognizing one person’s suffering feels like dismissing another’s. Takeaways: Compassion is not agreement Acknowledging a parent’s grief does not make an adult child responsible for it Meaningful support can combine tenderness with difficult questions. 🎧Listen wherever you get your podcasts (ie: Apple, Spotify, YouTube, etc.) 📱 Follow The Estranged Heart: Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching, Consulting, Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E287
Saturday · 43 min
EP287: Five Years of The Estranged Heart (special anniversary episode)
In this fifth anniversary episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed reflects on five years of The Estranged Heart - reconciliation cases, the grief of death before reconciliation, and the people whose lives have changed even while their relationships remain estranged. This episode introduces the Questioning Estrangement podcast, a new podcast co-hosted with Kreed and Kelly Rhyne, LCSW, debuting November 5. The Estranged Heart podcast continues. Kreed closes this episode with a letter to estranged people and those who support them personally and professionally. Content note: Discussion of death, unresolved relationships, and grief. 🎧Listen wherever you get your podcasts (ie: Apple, Spotify, YouTube, etc.) 📱 Follow The Estranged Heart: Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching, Consulting, Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E286
Friday · 7 min
EP286: CURIOSITY (mini episode)
In the final mini episode closing The Estranged Heart podcast's fifth year, Kreed considers questions that seek understanding, questions that seek confirmation, and the influences that shape parents' explanations of estrangement. She draws on her experience as a reconciled mother and adult child while examining the limits of applying one family's story to another. We can ask a question while having very little room for an unexpected answer. What helps us recognize that in ourselves? 🎧Listen wherever you get your podcasts (ie: Apple, Spotify, YouTube, etc.) 📱 Follow The Estranged Heart: Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching, Consulting, Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E285
Thursday · 8 min
EP285: SHAME (mini episode)
When a parent hears a specific concern as “I'm a terrible mother,” the conversation can shift toward defending an entire identity. What happens to the original concern then? In the fourth of five mini episodes closing The Estranged Heart podcast's fifth year, Kreed reflects on shame as one possible barrier to examining our impact. Drawing on patterns she encounters in her work and her willingness to name her own controlling parenting, she considers how parents can stay specific, seek appropriate support, and make room for their adult child's experience. 📱 Follow The Estranged Heart: Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching, Consulting, Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E284
Wednesday · 7 min
EP284: IDENTITY (mini episode)
“But I'm her mother.” What does that sentence hold and what happens when the relationship no longer provides the place a parent expected? In the third of five mini episodes closing The Estranged Heart podcast's fifth year, Kreed explores the distinction between role and relationship. She considers how being needed, consulted, or included can become tied to a parent's sense of self, and how those expectations can affect estrangement or reconciliation. The reflection includes her Manager → Consultant → Mentor → Witness framework, the messages parents absorb about being a good mother or father, and small ways to make room for identity beyond the parenting role. 🎧Listen wherever you get your podcasts (ie: Apple, Spotify, YouTube, etc.) 📱 Follow The Estranged Heart: Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching, Consulting, Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E283
October 27 · 8 min
EP283: GRIEF (mini episode)
In the second of five mini episodes closing The Estranged Heart podcast's fifth year, Kreed reflects on participation, belonging, imagined futures, and the grief that may remain after reconciliation. She considers how parents can find support for their loss while respecting what the current relationship with their adult child can hold. Some losses in estrangement arrive through missed milestones. Others appear in an ordinary moment when there is something you would have shared with your child. The episode also makes room for the protective distance that can sit beneath “I don't care,” without assuming that every parent's statement means the same thing. 🎧Listen wherever you get your podcasts (ie: Apple, Spotify, YouTube, etc.) 📱 Follow The Estranged Heart: Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching, Consulting, Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E282
October 26 · 10 min
EP282: POWER (mini episode)
In this mini episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed reflects on her own controlling parenting and the quieter forms of pressure she notices in her work. She explores how the history of parental authority can remain present in adult relationships, why control over contact is only part of the story, and what parents can practice during estrangement or reconciliation. Control can be loud. It can also arrive through advice, concern, and gentle persistence. TAKEAWAYS You can feel disappointed and still let their answer stand. Insight does not require an announcement to your kid. The existence of parental authority is not the whole concern. How we use authority matters. The same exchange can mean different things to the people in it. Each individual act may feel like helping. Taken together, they may make the relationship costly unless your child changes course. 🎧Listen wherever you get your podcasts (ie: Apple, Spotify, YouTube, etc.) 📱 Follow The Estranged Heart: Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching, Consulting, Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E281
October 25 · 1 hr 2 min
EP281: Interview with Kelly Rhyne, LCSW, MDiv (Center for Estrangement)
In this bonus episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed speaks with Kelly Rhyne, a social worker, minister, chaplain, and founder of the Center for Estrangement, about understanding estrangement as more than a cutoff. Kelly explains how unresolved harm and grief can spread across relationships and other parts of life, and why mourning, acknowledgment, and ongoing support matter even when reconciliation remains possible. Kelly describes the Center for Estrangement, a project built around understanding estrangement as a form of living loss and applying the essentials of mourning beyond family relationships. She and host Kreed discuss how disconnection shows up in caregiving, disability, workplaces, racism, self-relationship, and our connection to the Earth, then share a special announcement - a joint endeavor: the Questioning Estrangement podcast! TAKEAWAYS Estrangement is described as distance arising from misalignment, harm, or feeling unsafe, not simply a cutoff; even ending contact may leave unresolved estrangement within oneself. We don't really have a framework for mourning estrangement. Grief is energy and it wants to move. Mourning is the act of moving the grief from the inside out. If we never addressed the harm, if we're just keeping it in ourselves, that can cause an estrangement within ourselves, too. Once you relate to something, you never stop relating. Grief and mourning are not meant to be done in a silo. “I don't think something is a trend if it's always been.” - Kelly Rhyne, LCSW, MDiv “The beauty of humanity is the difference. It's not the enemy.” - Kelly Rhyne, LCSW, MDiv TO FIND KELLY: Private Therapy Practice: https://www.giveintolovetherapeutics.com/ All the socials: TikTok, YouTube, Instagram - The Center for Estrangement All the socials: TikTok, YouTube, Instagram and Facebook - QuestioningEstrangement Chapters 00:00 The estrangement tumor: grief that grows when unaddressed 06:05 Why estrangement takes work beyond the cutoff 09:24 Kelly’s path from musical theater to ministry 13:31 Chaplaincy, caregiving, and disability advocacy 16:27 From personal practice to founding the Center for Estrangement 18:08 Grief is inside; mourning helps it move 19:58 Estrangement as harm, misalignment, and distance 22:04 How relationships span body, culture, and generations 26:19 The six needs of mourning and living loss 33:13 Why estrangement leaves room for a different relationship 33:54 Estrangement as a lens on connection and disconnection 35:20 Applying the essentials across caregiving, disability, and work 36:40 Misalignment, racism, and estrangement from the Earth 38:41 Why self-connection can be a starting point 40:22 The Center’s introductory course and experiential model 42:19 A holistic course that includes self-restoration 43:34 Working with protective parts instead of against them 44:37 Building a collaborative community for different forms of estrangement 46:36 Making space for discomfort, learning, and growth 49:14 Why estrangement is part of the human experience 52:01 How Kelly and Kreed connected and created a podcast 54:27 Questioning Estrangement: exploring questions from every side 58:20 Where to find the Center and Kelly’s therapy practice 🎧Listen wherever you get your podcasts (ie: Apple, Spotify, YouTube, etc.) 📱 Follow The Estranged Heart: Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching, Consulting, Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E280
October 25 · 23 min
EP280: Becoming What We Resent
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores how estranged parents may criticize adult children for being influenced by outside voices while relying on their own echo chambers for certainty. The episode distinguishes compassionate validation from automatic agreement and explains why curiosity and self-reflection matter for understanding estrangement, whether or not reconciliation follows. TOPICS COVERED Kreed observes that some estranged parents accuse adult children of being influenced by therapists, spouses, friends, or social media, but may overlook the influences shaping their own views. Validation of grief and pain does not require agreeing that an adult child is selfish, manipulative, or solely responsible. Friends and family may care deeply yet reinforce blind spots by offering reassurance without curiosity about the conflict or the child’s perspective. The explanations parents rehearse during estrangement can shape how they interpret boundaries, hesitation, and other attempts at reconciliation. TAKEAWAYS What if the voices that you've been listening to are making it easier for you to feel understood, but harder for you to understand another? Are the people you're listening to helping you understand your estrangement more deeply? Or are they simply helping you feel more certain about what you already believe? The stories we rehearse during estrangement can become a lens through which we interpret attempts at reconciliation. You deserve support that can sit with your pain without turning your adult child into the enemy. Whose voices make it easier for me to stop thinking? CHAPTERS 00:00 The double standard around outside influence 05:37 How estrangement support has changed 08:05 When parents arrive with fixed explanations 09:44 Recognizing the influences shaping parents too 11:29 Curiosity, validation, and agreement 13:12 How certainty crowds out discovery 14:23 When loved ones reinforce blind spots 16:09 What responsible estrangement support should do 18:08 Why these beliefs matter for reconciliation 20:08 Reflection matters even without renewed contact 20:37 Choosing support that makes room for curiosity 📱 Follow The Estranged Heart: Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching, Consulting, Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E279
October 21 · 21 min
EP279: What Experienced Added
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed reflects on what her own reconciliations and working with other families have added to her understanding of the work she does as an estrangement & reconciliation coach and mediator. This conversation explores why one family's outcome can't become another family's formula, what happens when understanding an idea is harder to practice under strain, and why an adult child may remain cautious while a parent is changing. Reconnecting can be deeply meaningful. There is still a relationship to learn how to live in afterward. Whether you are estranged, in limited contact, or reconciled, the episode brings these reflections back to your current relationship and the responses you can take responsibility for now. In this episode Continuing to learn after contact resumes. Looking beyond the first account without inventing an absent person's perspective. Finding support for the feelings that interfere with listening. Allowing changed behavior to be experienced over time without demanding recognition. Caring for your life while the outcome remains uncertain. 📱 Follow The Estranged Heart: Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching, Consulting, Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E278
October 18 · 23 min
EP278: A Different View (part II)
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed discusses how some family beliefs feel like common sense until a relationship asks us to examine them. She reflects on inherited expectations around questioning, loyalty, independence, and the place we learn to occupy in a family. In this episode - How a family expectation can remain unnamed until someone stops meeting it. - Why a question or an independent choice may feel threatening to a parent. - The connection between being needed and feeling secure in a relationship. - Recognizing where an inherited expectation is still shaping your response. 📱 Follow The Estranged Heart: Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching, Consulting, Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E277
October 14 · 15 min
EP277: A Microphone, Some Nerves & Me (more five year reflections)
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast and the conclusion of its fifth year of production, Kreed takes a look at the ordinary, sometimes awkward experience of making the podcast. Behind all of it is a person making the work in a life that isn't polished. This anniversary reflection leaves room for humor, real stories from behind the microphone, and the humility of letting people hear you while you're still learning. Kreed considers how to prepare with care without requiring every trace of being human to disappear. And ALL of it can be used for reflection of our estrangement and reconciliation experiences! In this conversation - Remembering what it took to begin. - Finding intros, outros, and formats that feel natural. - Adjusting what matters. - Self-consciousness of moving into being seen. - Allowing awkward moments to remain ordinary, or simply funny. - Staying open to learning while taking responsibility for the work. A reflection to take with you Where are you asking yourself to look experienced before you've had the chance to become experienced? 🎧Listen wherever you get your podcasts (ie: Apple, Spotify, YouTube, etc.) 📱 Follow The Estranged Heart: Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, TikTok RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching, Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E276
October 11 · 34 min
EP276: The Daughter In The Room (5 year reflection)
Being a mother didn't erase what Kreed knew about being a daughter. In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, she explores how her experience as an estranged and reconciled adult daughter shapes the way she listens to parents. This episode considers the history that follows a relationship into adulthood, what distance can and cannot tell us, and the difference between being in contact and having room to be yourself. Kreed reflects on bringing both her mother and daughter experiences into work that requires continued learning. In this conversation - How a parent's current intention can differ from the adult child's expectations based on history. - What the daughter's position helps Kreed notice about choice, privacy, and unwanted help. - The responsibility to ask questions when an absent adult child's experience remains unknown. - How parents can begin repair without asking the adult child to manage their distress. - Why reconciliation can involve learning long after contact resumes. 🎧Listen wherever you get your podcasts (ie: Apple, Spotify, YouTube, etc.) 📱 Follow The Estranged Heart: Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, TikTok RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E275
October 7 · 46 min
EP275: A Different View (anniversary reflections, part I)
As The Estranged Heart podcast wraps up its fifth year, Kreed begins a month of personal reflections with a question: What happens when we understand the same years of our lives differently? In this episode, Kreed explores how her interpretation of her own family experience has changed, including the limits of understanding a relationship through intention and effort, recognizing emotional dependency, and reconsidering what once looked like rejection or interference. She also discusses how to acknowledge impact without turning reflection into self-condemnation or asking an adult child to provide reassurance. Topics in the conversation Distinguishing an observation from the motive attached to it. Recognizing responsibility a child may have carried within a relationship. Letting intention and impact remain part of the same history. Reflecting while respecting distance and existing boundaries. Finding a specific starting point for accountability. 📱 Follow The Estranged Heart on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E274
October 4 · 24 min
EP274: Why Your Apology Isn't Landing
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed discusses why an adult child may hear a sincere apology and still struggle to believe it. She explores why an apology isn’t a transaction, why revisiting an old hurt doesn’t necessarily mean your adult child is trying to punish you, and why private growth and relational evidence are not the same thing. TAKEAWAYS 1. An apology is only the beginning of repair. 2. Your adult child may not be asking for another apology—they may be looking for consistency. 3. You don’t have to grovel. You do have to live the apology. An apology can happen in a moment. Becoming trustworthy happens over time. 🎧Listen wherever you get your podcasts (ie: Apple, Spotify, YouTube, etc.) 📱 Follow The Estranged Heart: Instagram → icon / theestrangedheart YouTube → icon / theestrangedheart Facebook → icon / theestrangedheart TikTok → icon / theestrangedheart RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E273
September 28 · 25 min
EP273: Same Words, Different Dictionaries
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores how differences in language and definitions can hinder understanding in parent-adult child relationships. She emphasizes the importance of curiosity and exploring underlying experiences rather than getting stuck on labels and vocabulary. TAKEAWAYS - Labels often serve as conclusions that shut down dialogue - Understanding requires exploring the experiences behind words - Different generations and personal histories shape individual dictionaries - Curiosity can bridge gaps by asking what words mean to others - Moving from verdicts to experiences opens pathways for repair RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E272
September 13 · 22 min
EP272: Don't Look At Me Like That!
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores what happens when a seemingly small interaction between a parent and adult child suddenly carries the emotional weight of decades. Using a recent interaction with her own mother as a starting point, Kreed examines why adult children can become intensely reactive around their parents even after years of therapy and healing work and why parents may be pulled into old relational states at exactly the same time. This episode explores the difference between reacting to today's event and responding to the accumulated history of a relationship, how implicit and relational memory shape our reactions, why family roles can survive for decades, and why understanding a reaction does not automatically excuse the behavior that follows. Kreed also examines an important question for both sides of estrangement: Are we responding to the person standing in front of us today or to the person we remember them being? INSIGHTS Why the sentence may be new while its meaning is decades old How the body can recognize an old relational pattern before conscious thought catches up Why healing doesn't mean never being activated again The difference between the past intruding on the present and the present actually repeating the past Why parents may see one incident while adult children experience an entire relational archive How parents can be pulled into younger relational states too How family roles such as "the difficult one," "the fragile one," or "the one who can handle it" survive into adulthood How curiosity about meaning creates more possibility for repair than arguing about words Why adult children and parents both have responsibility for examining the old stories they carry about one another A central question from this episode: When an old family dance begins again, can you recognize the music soon enough to choose a different step? RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E271
August 30 · 31 min
EP271: Why Can't You Just Let It Go?
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores one of the most common and often most painful questions in complicated family relationships: Why can't you just let it go? After a recent conversation about the decades-long history between Kreed and her sibling Kreed examines why remembering and naming relational history isn't necessarily the same thing as holding a grudge. For someone who grew up cast as the “problem child,” being told in adulthood to stop rehashing the past can recreate the very family dynamic that caused harm in the first place: your reaction becomes the problem while the context behind your reaction disappears. Kreed also brings this conversation directly into parent–adult child estrangement. When an adult child continues talking about the past, are they refusing to move forward or are they trying to determine whether the relationship they're being invited back into actually understands what went wrong? And importantly, when does healthy processing become unhealthy rumination? Takeaways: Silence is not necessarily evidence of healing, and talking about the past is not necessarily evidence of being stuck. There is an important difference between processing the past and prosecuting the past. Healing doesn't require erasing relational history. The goal is integration: understanding what happened without allowing it to run the present. The wound doesn't have to disappear from your story. It just needs to stop running your story. RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E270
August 23 · 23 min
EP270: The Grace We Give
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed shares a deeply moving letter originally published by Dr. Joshua Coleman, written by an estranged mother reflecting on her relationship with the mother who abandoned her and the daughter from whom she is now estranged. At the heart of the letter is a question that reaches far beyond estrangement: Can we tell the full truth about how someone hurt us without reducing that person to the harm they caused? This episode explores the difference between understanding and excusing, and what it means to hold accountability, impact, context, boundaries, and humanity at the same time. Why understanding is not exoneration and context does not erase impact How curiosity can help us see the person behind the behavior without denying our own lived experience Why someone else's suffering does not have to be required for our suffering to be legitimate The difference between accountability and reducing another person to a verdict How multiple truths can coexist: You hurt me. You had your own wounds. Both matter. The difficult question at the center of the episode: Am I asking for a kind of humanity that I am unwilling to extend to someone else? RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.
S5 · E269
August 19 · 14 min
EP269: Shame - gasoline, not water
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the dynamics of shame in parent-child relationships, highlighting how shame can hinder genuine understanding and repair. This episode offers insights into recognizing shame-based communication and fostering healthier interactions. Takeaways Shame is often unintentional and can be rooted in fear and terror. The shift from behavior-based feedback to character judgments triggers shame. Shame activates protection responses like defensiveness and withdrawal. Effective communication requires distinguishing between feedback and verdicts. RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

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