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The Divorce Planner

Alex Beattie | The Divorce Planner

The Divorce Planner Podcast is your essential guide to divorce preparation and navigating one of life's hardest transitions with clarity and confidence. Built around the four pillars of divorce preparation—emotional, financial, administrative, and practical—each episode gives you actionable strategies for gathering documents, understanding your finances, negotiating well, and reframing this transition as an opportunity to create your best next chapter. Host and divorce prep coach Alex Beattie talks with top attorneys, mediators, financial experts, therapists, and coaches, and shares her own coaching frameworks along the way.

Whether you're thinking about divorce or already in the process, this podcast helps you become your own best advocate.

Divorce is hard. Preparing for one doesn't have to be.

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S2 · E10
Wednesday · 12 min
Should You Keep The House After Divorce? What You Need to know before you decide.
Keeping the house after divorce can feel non-negotiable. It can represent stability, roots, or proof that your entire life didn't fall apart. But fighting for an asset you can't actually afford on one income is one of the most expensive mistakes I see people make. And most of them don't realize it until it's too late to change course. In this episode I'm walking you through what you actually need to know before you decide, starting with a question most people never think to ask: is your mortgage assumable? If you bought your home when rates were low and current rates are significantly higher, the answer to that one question could save you hundreds of dollars a month and tens of thousands over the life of the loan. We also cover how to calculate what a buyout actually costs you, the red flags that signal you can't afford the house even if you think you can, two deed and mortgage scenarios that catch people completely off guard and cost them tens of thousands of dollars, and when keeping the house actually makes sense. For a deeper dive, check out my guide: Can You Afford to Keep Your House After Divorce? The Complete Cost Breakdown Resources Mentioned: Divorce Monthly Budget Calculator: Financial Clarity With Just One Click The 5-5-5 Rule: Your Divorce Decision-Making Framework 24 Questions to ask A Divorce Attorney PDF Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
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S2 · E9
October 28 · 27 min
Navigating Divorce with ADHD with CDFA Whitney Light
Divorce is one of the most administratively demanding processes you'll ever navigate — deadlines, documents, financial disclosures, follow-up tasks. For someone with ADHD, it can feel completely paralyzing. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Whitney Light, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) who has worked with ADHD clients navigating divorce, and who navigated the divorce process herself with ADHD. Whitney and I talk about why the divorce process is particularly brutal for the ADHD brain, what "the freeze" actually looks like and how to break through it, and how ADHD shows up in the financial patterns of a marriage — and then resurfaces during negotiations. She also shares what her own experience taught her about what people with ADHD actually need that the traditional legal and financial system doesn't provide. If you have ADHD and you're navigating divorce — or you've been feeling frozen, overwhelmed, and behind before you've even started — this conversation is for you. Resources mentioned: The 5-5-5 Rule: Your Divorce Decision Making Framework - Listen to an episode about it or read a blog post I write about it. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
- Transcript
S2 · E8
October 21 · 27 min
When Your Child Refuses to See a Parent After Divorce, with Amy Armstrong
One of the most painful and confusing things that can happen after divorce is a child suddenly refusing to see one of their parents. It leaves the rejected parent feeling powerless and heartbroken, and it leaves the other parent unsure whether they're protecting their child or somehow making things worse. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Amy Armstrong, conflict resolution expert and founder of the Center for Family Resolution, for an honest conversation about what's really going on when a child resists or refuses contact—and what parents on both sides can actually do about it.Amy works at the intersection of coaching, psychology, and the family court system, and she trains judges on what's known as "resist-refuse dynamics." We talk about why kids refuse contact, what parental alienation actually looks like, the mistakes that make the situation worse, and what a rejected parent can do to protect the relationship without escalating the conflict. Whether you're the parent being refused or the parent navigating your child's resistance, this conversation will help you understand what's happening beneath the surface — and how to respond in a way that protects your child and your relationship with them. Resources Mentioned: podcast.thecenterforfamilyresolution.com/planner Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
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S2 · E7
October 14 · 27 min
Business Valuation in Divorce: What to Know When Your Spouse Owns a Business with Matt Springer
If your spouse owns a business, or holds complex assets like stock options, how to value and divide these assets is one of the most important and most challenging parts of divorce. Figuring out what those assets are actually worth can be tricky, and getting it wrong can cost you significantly. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Matt Springer, a business valuation expert with nearly two decades of experience in valuation and litigation support, to break down what really happens when a business or complex asset gets valued in a divorce—and what you need to understand to protect yourself. What we cover: What actually happens when you're dividing assets and a spouse owns a business, professional practice, or other illiquid asset How compensation arrangements, equity awards, stock options, notes, and pensions get evaluated What to look for, and what to question, when you're handed a valuation report The red flags that mean you may need a second opinion When valuation numbers get challenged, and what that means for you If you're staring down a divorce with a business owner, or are a business owner new to this process, this conversation will help you understand what you're dealing with so you can ask the right questions and advocate for yourself. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
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S2 · E6
October 7 · 29 min
Financial Red Flags in Marriage That Become Landmines in Divorce with Jackie Combs
Financial abuse is more common than you think. Red flags can show up in how you're frozen out from account access, having to ask for spending money on basics like groceries and gas, and being told "you don't have to worry about that" when you ask any financial questions. These are all signs of a financial power imbalance, and they lead to major issues during divorce. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Jackie Combs, a California family law attorney, advocate for women's financial empowerment, and founder of Love Richer, for a conversation about the toxic money patterns that show up in dating and marriage, and why they almost always resurface as landmines during divorce. What we cover: How women unknowingly surrender financial autonomy, and what that looks like years later in a settlement Financial infidelity: hidden accounts, undisclosed debt, concealed income, and how it surfaces in discovery What women misunderstand about what they're actually entitled to during divorce The first three things to do if you're recognizing financial red flags right now, before you make any move What Jackie wants every financially controlled woman to know before she walks into a consultation with an attorney The conversation about money and power in relationships that most people are still too afraid to have If you're in a relationship where you feel financially shut out, or you're beginning to consider divorce and worried about what you don't know, this episode will give you clarity, language, and a plan. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
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S2 · E5
September 30 · 16 min
Why Expecting Your Spouse to Change During Divorce Is Keeping You Stuck, And What to Do Instead
The most damaging mistake I see people make during divorce isn't a legal or financial one. It's expecting their spouse to suddenly behave differently than they always have. And every time they don't, the shock and fury pulls you back into the same loop — one that can outlast your marriage by decades if you don't address it now. In this episode I'm sharing the concept of radical acceptance, specifically what it actually is, what it isn't, and why it's the only thing that genuinely gets you out of the pattern. We talk about the neuroscience of why these loops feel impossible to break, the riptide analogy that reframes everything, and a specific tool that works better than any filtered, measured response ever will. This isn't about being the bigger person. It's about stopping the drain on your own energy, clarity, and future. If you're exhausted from trying to get your spouse to communicate differently, take accountability, or simply show up the way you need them to, this episode is for you. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
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S2 · E4
September 23 · 23 min
Divorce Grief and Shame: How to Move Through the Pain with Kim Polinder
Divorce brings up two of the hardest emotions to talk about: grief and shame. Grief for the life you thought you'd have, the future you planned together, and the identity you're losing. And shame because even though divorce is common, there's still a stigma attached to it that can make you feel like you've failed. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Kim Polinder, associate therapist and author of Why We Fight (HarperOne), for an honest conversation about how to actually process these difficult emotions instead of rushing past them or burying them in a new relationship. What we cover: Why grief is normal even in amicable divorces and how it can surface unexpectedly The shame that surrounds divorce and how to recognize patterns that have played out in other areas of your life How to process grief with supportive people rather than in isolation Creating rituals for closure including writing letters or revisiting meaningful places Why rushing into new relationships without grieving leads to repeating patterns Understanding your deepest triggers and what you're seeking from relationships The importance of introspection before entering your next relationship How to prevent second divorces by breaking cycles and clarifying your values Moving through pain with self-compassion instead of judgment Whether you're in the middle of divorce, recently separated, or healing on the other side, this conversation offers compassionate guidance to help you process grief and shame so you can move forward with greater self-awareness and emotional health. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
- Transcript
S2 · E3
September 16 · 18 min
Navigating Divorce as a Mom: Self-Care, Boundaries & Building Your New Life with Leah Marie Mazur
Divorce brings up a tsunami of emotions, and as a mom, you're not just navigating your own feelings, you're holding space for your children's too. Carving out time for yourself can feel impossible. Or worse, it can feel selfish. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Leah Marie Mazur, an empowerment coach and founder of Mindfully Ready, for a conversation about how moms can prioritize their own well-being without guilt—because you can't pour from an empty cup. What we cover: Why self-care isn't selfish when you're a mom going through divorce How to create a realistic self-care routine that fits your actual life Building a support network beyond just family Setting new goals for yourself when everything feels uncertain Navigating mom guilt when you need to put yourself first Embracing flexibility and seeing this transition as full of new possibilities How to show up for your kids when you're running on empty Small, actionable steps you can take today to start rebuilding Whether you're in the middle of divorce or rebuilding on the other side, this episode will remind you that prioritizing your well-being matters, for you and your kids. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
- Transcript
S2 · E2
September 9 · 33 min
Divorcing a Narcissist: What You Need to Know with Narc Recovery Specialist Allison Adamovic
If you're divorcing a narcissist—or think you might be—this episode is exactly what you need. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Allison Adamovic, a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) and narcissistic abuse recovery specialist, for an expert conversation about how to recognize narcissism and protect yourself during divorce. Allison brings clinical expertise to help you understand the real difference between typical divorce conflict and actual narcissistic abuse—and what to do about it. We dive deep into the manipulation tactics narcissists use, why they can't change, and your concrete action plan for divorcing someone with narcissistic personality disorder. What we cover: Clinical signs of narcissism vs. just difficult divorce behavior Why narcissists can't change (the science behind brain chemistry and genetics) Manipulation tactics explained including word salad, gaslighting, and deflecting Breaking free from guilt and confusion that keeps you stuck Financial abuse and psychological control patterns to recognize Warning signs of escalating abuse and when to get help immediately Your concrete action plan for divorcing a narcissist safely How to protect yourself emotionally, legally, and financially Recovery strategies for healing from narcissistic abuse Whether you're just starting to recognize the patterns or already deep in a high-conflict divorce with a narcissist, this conversation provides expert clinical guidance on how to protect yourself and move forward. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
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S2 · E1
September 2 · 30 min
Quiet Quitting Your Marriage: How To Take Control And Move Forward with Betsy Pake
If you've been emotionally checked out of your marriage for months or even years but haven't actually left, you're not alone. You might be what The Cut called "quiet quitting your marriage" or what I call being in "the slow fade"—still in the house, still married on paper, but emotionally you left a long time ago. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Betsy Pake, a midlife change expert and host of "The Art of Living Big" podcast, for an honest conversation about what's really happening when you're stuck in this painful gray zone between staying and leaving—and more importantly, how to take control and move forward. Betsy helps women get crystal clear on whether they're actually done with their marriages or if they're just scared of change. We dive deep into the difference between needing space and being finished, the real cost of staying withdrawn for years, and the first steps to take when you're exhausted but terrified to make a move. What we cover: What's actually happening when you emotionally check out but don't tell your partner Why people get frozen in the limbo of being married but completely disengaged The difference between needing space and being finished with your marriage What clarity actually looks like (it's not the lightning bolt moment you're expecting) The cost of the slow fade and what happens when you spend years emotionally withdrawn Can you come back from quiet quitting your marriage, or is withdrawal the beginning of the end? The first step to take when you're emotionally checked out, exhausted, but terrified to make a move How to separate fear of change from genuine desire to save your marriage Understanding whether you're protecting yourself or just stuck in fear is the first step toward making a decision you can live with. Whether you've been quietly quitting your marriage for years or you're just starting to realize you've checked out, this conversation offers compassionate guidance to help you take control and move forward—whatever that looks like for you. For more on this topic, read my blog post "The Slow Fade" here: https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/post/the-slow-fade-when-you-ve-already-left-the-marriage-in-your-head Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
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August 12 · 18 min
SUMMER SERIES: Reframing Divorce: From an Ending to Your Best Next Chapter
Here's something nobody tells you when you're in the middle of divorce: this is actually one of the most powerful opportunities of your life. Because for most people, this is the first time in years, maybe ever, they can stop and figure out who they actually are, what they actually want, and what kind of life they actually want to build. The problem is that most people skip that part. They rush into the next relationship, the next distraction, the next version of the life they just left—without stopping to ask whether any of it is actually what they want. And then they wake up on the other side of their divorce in a life that's reactive instead of intentional. In this episode, I'm sharing my five-step framework for reflection and rebuilding after divorce, the process that takes you from surviving this ending to intentionally designing your best next chapter. Whether you're in the middle of divorce or already on the other side, this episode will help you stop reacting and start building something that's actually, completely, yours. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
- Transcript
August 5 · 16 min
SUMMER SERIES: 4 Weeks to Divorce Ready: Your Complete Preparation Roadmap
Most people file for divorce without doing any of the preparation that would have saved them thousands of dollars and months of stress. Not because they didn't have time, but because nobody told them what to do first. And then they regret it for years. This episode is the roadmap. In it, I walk you through my framework for getting divorce ready in four weeks, one focus area at a time, so it never feels overwhelming. We start with your emotional foundation: getting grounded, clarifying your values and priorities, and lining up support. Then we move into getting your entire financial picture organized while you still have full access to everything. From there, we tackle the question I hear most—"What should I ask for?"—by building a real post-divorce budget so you stop guessing and start knowing your numbers. And finally, we get your legal and strategic foundation in place: understanding your options, choosing the right attorney, learning your state's laws, and knowing when to bring in a CDFA. The work you do in this window determines how prepared you are when it counts most—at the negotiating table, in mediation, or in front of a judge. Whether you're certain you're moving forward or still deciding, this episode gives you a clear, step-by-step plan to prepare with confidence instead of fear. Additional resources mentioned in the episode: Listen to the Dear Future Self episode from Season 1. Read The Two Numbers You Need Before Divorce Negotiations: Your Marital Standard of Living and Post-Divorce Budget. The Divorce Planner's CDFA vetted Monthly Budget Calculator spreadsheet. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
- Transcript
July 29 · 15 min
SUMMER SERIES: How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce: What to Say, When & What Happens After
Telling your spouse you want a divorce might be one of the hardest conversations you'll ever have. And the way you handle it can set the tone for everything that comes after, like: your divorce process, your co-parenting relationship, your ability to move forward with compassion and dignity. In this episode, I'm walking you through my complete framework for having "the talk.: From how to know you're actually ready, the emotional and practical homework to do beforehand, how to choose the right time and place, what to actually say (and what to avoid), and how to stay grounded no matter how your spouse reacts. Whether you're planning to have this conversation soon or just starting to think it through, this episode will help you approach one of life's hardest moments with grace, respect, and a plan. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
- Transcript
July 22 · 12 min
SUMMER SERIES: The Slow Fade: What's Really Happening When You've Emotionally Checked Out Of Your Marriage
If you've been quietly going through the motions of your marriage, you're physically there but emotionally somewhere else, you're in what I call the slow fade. You've probably seen the phrase "quiet quitting your marriage" floating around. What I see with clients who are in this position is a gradual emotional withdrawal that almost always happens after a long period of trying. You communicated. You suggested therapy. You said the hard things. And eventually you ran out of energy to keep trying to change someone who didn't want to change. In this episode, I'll help you tell the difference between the slow fade and actually knowing you're done, walk through what this signal is telling you, and share where to start if you're in it right now. Taking steps to break out of the limbo you're living in can feel scary, but if you let fear and doubt take over, you could be in this space for years, or even decades. Whether you're sure you're done or genuinely don't know yet, this episode will help you stop waiting for circumstances to decide for you and get you on the path to making a conscious choice on your terms. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
- Transcript
S1 · E26
July 1 · 11 min
Season 1 Finale: What's Next & Your Summer Invitation
We made it! Season 1 finale of The Divorce Planner Podcast. Over Season 1, we've covered everything from when to meet with an attorney to how to find hidden assets, from creating bulletproof parenting plans to healing from grief and shame. Today I'm reflecting on what we've learned together, pointing you toward episodes you might have missed based on where you are in your journey, and sharing what makes this podcast different from other divorce content out there. Whether you're just starting to think about divorce, actively preparing, or navigating high-conflict situations, this episode will help you find the Season 1 conversations that matter most for your situation right now—and understand how to use this podcast as a resource throughout your divorce journey. Thank you for being here. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
- Transcript
S1 · E25
June 24 · 20 min
Don't Do Divorce Alone: Building Your Support Community with Hilary & Bethany of Sincerely, Divorced
If you're going through divorce and feeling isolated and alone, this episode is exactly what you need. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Hillary Livingston Giddings and Bethany M. Pace, the powerhouse duo behind Sincerely, Divorced, for an uplifting conversation about why community is everything during and after divorce. Hillary and Bethany know firsthand what it's like to navigate divorce feeling like you have to figure it all out alone. As friends who both went through divorce during the pandemic, they turned their experience into something powerful—a community that's changing how people think about life after divorce through real talk, raw honesty, and their "breakdown to glow-up" philosophy. We dive deep into how to use your vulnerability as a superpower to make genuine connections, why finding your people transforms the divorce journey, and how to rediscover joy and laughter when you never thought you'd feel that way again. What we cover: Why community matters during one of life's loneliest transitions How to find your people when you're feeling isolated Using vulnerability as strength to make authentic connections The "breakdown to glow-up" philosophy and embracing both sides of divorce Finding humor and joy again even in the hardest moments Building a support system that actually works (friends, coaches, online communities) Why it's okay to not have it all figured out and who can help at each stage Real talk and raw honesty about what divorce actually feels like How friendship saved them during their own divorce journeys Whether you're just thinking about divorce, in the middle of the process, or rebuilding on the other side, this conversation will remind you that you're not alone—and that joy, laughter, and connection are not only possible but within reach. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
- Transcript
S1 · E24
June 17 · 35 min
High-Net-Worth Divorce: What Is a Financial Litigator & When Do You Need One with Lisa Zeiderman
If you're navigating a high-net-worth divorce, dealing with complex assets like stock options or business valuations, or suspect your spouse isn't being transparent about finances, this episode is for you. I sat down with Lisa Zeiderman, divorce financial litigator and managing partner at Miller Zeiderman LLP, for an essential conversation about a type of expert most people have never heard of—but who could be critical to protecting your financial future. We dive deep into the most expensive errors people make in high-asset divorces, the tax bombs that blindside even the most savvy clients, and how to navigate situations where your spouse controls the financial information or isn't being transparent about marital or business assets. What we cover: What a financial litigator is and how they differ from divorce attorneys and forensic accountants When you actually need one and whether this is only for high-net-worth cases The powerful combination of working with both a financial litigator and a CDFA The most expensive mistake people make by NOT hiring a financial litigator early enough Tax bombs in high-asset divorces and how financial litigators help you avoid them Complex assets demystified including stock options, business valuations, and retirement accounts What to do if your spouse isn't transparent about financial information or business assets Cost vs. value of hiring a financial litigator and how to know if it's worth it for your situation First steps for anyone considering divorce and when in the process to reach out Whether you're high-net-worth, dealing with a business owner spouse, facing financial abuse, or just starting to educate yourself about divorce options, this conversation provides expert guidance on protecting your financial interests through one of life's most challenging transitions. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
- Transcript
S1 · E23
June 10 · 10 min
Dear Future Self: The Exercise That Will Change How You Navigate Divorce
Here's something nobody tells you about divorce: the entire process is designed to pull you backward. Every negotiation is about what happened—who earned what, who did what wrong. You spend months, sometimes years, staring into the rearview mirror. And then suddenly it's over, and you're standing in a life you don't recognize, because you were so consumed by the past that you never stopped to build toward a future. Here's what I learned during my own divorce: you can't build a future by only looking at the past. So I did something that changed everything. I wrote a letter to myself from my future self. And then, with every decision I faced in the divorce process, I asked one question: does this get me closer to that future? That single shift—from looking backward to looking forward—kept me on track, helped me make smarter choices, and let me feel hopeful about my life on the other side. In this episode, I'll walk you through how to write your own letter from your future self and use it as your compass through divorce. It's the same practice I shared on the Divorce and Beyond podcast, where it became their most downloaded episode of the year. Whether you're contemplating divorce, deep in negotiations, or just tired of making decisions from a place of anger and fear, this episode will help you stop reacting and start building something specific, hopeful, and yours. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
- Transcript
S1 · E22
June 3 · 27 min
Hidden Assets in Divorce: How to Find Hidden Money with Forensic Accountant Jennica Moore
If you suspect your spouse might be hiding money during divorce—or you're in a situation where they control all the finances—this episode is exactly what you need. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Jennica Moore, a forensic accountant with over 10 years of specialized experience in fraud examination and family law matters, for a crucial conversation about finding hidden assets and protecting your financial future during divorce. Jennica brings expert insight into the most common ways people hide money, the red flags to watch for, and what you can actually do to uncover hidden assets—even if you don't control the finances in your marriage. What we cover: What a forensic accountant does during divorce and how they differ from regular accountants When to bring in a forensic accountant and whether your suspicions justify the cost Most common ways people hide money including cryptocurrency, offshore accounts, cash businesses, and underreported income Red flags to watch for before you even hire an expert What to do if your spouse controls all the finances and how to access information safely in a controlling situation What's actually traceable and the limits of forensic investigation Biggest financial mistakes people make once they know divorce is coming Legal consequences of hiding assets and how it impacts the divorce settlement First steps to take if you suspect hidden money but don't have proof Cost vs. benefit of forensic investigation and what you might uncover Whether you're dealing with a business owner spouse, suspect hidden accounts, or just have a gut feeling something isn't right with the finances, this conversation provides expert guidance to help you protect your financial interests during divorce. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
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S1 · E21
May 27 · 11 min
The 5-5-5 Rule: Your Divorce Decision-Making Framework
If you're stuck in decision paralysis, overwhelmed by every choice you need to make during divorce, this episode is for you. Today I'm sharing one of my signature coaching frameworks: the 5-5-5 Rule. When you're contemplating divorce or in the middle of one, every decision feels enormous. Should you file now or wait until after the holidays? Should you keep the house or sell it? Should you fight for the retirement accounts or let them go? Should you tell your spouse you want a divorce or stay married? The weight of these decisions can freeze you. You overthink. You ask seventeen people for advice. And then you still don't do anything. The 5-5-5 Rule helps you zoom out when you're stuck in the weeds. It's a simple but powerful framework that helps you figure out which decisions actually matter, and which ones are just emotional noise you need to let go of. Whether you're contemplating divorce, actively going through it, or struggling to make post-divorce decisions, the 5-5-5 Rule will give you a clear lens for moving forward with confidence. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson
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