THE DAVE LONGLEY BREAKFAST SHOW

Dave Longley

All the travel, news, comment and calls from Derby and the surrounding areas with your host, Dave Longley

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41 episodes
Updated March 8
Explicit

Episodes41

Newest first

Sep 2, 2025 · 12 min
Episode 54 - The cultural enrichment of public defecation
Taking YOUR calls on this enticing topic! This is a short preview of the full podcast. To enjoy the full depravity, you need to have some skin in the game. Just £2 a month and you can listen to something you can't tell anyone else about. You coward.
Aug 24, 2025 · 11 min
Episode 53 - Is punching down in comedy okay?
Is it ever OK to make fun of those less fortunate than ourselves? We are taking YOUR calls in order to discuss this tricky moral issue. PLUS!!! All your travel and weather, not to mention reading your comments! 10 minutes free, then you have to get some skin in teh game. £2 a month isn't much so don't be tight.
Aug 18, 2025 · 10 min
Episode 52 - On the tricky topic of terrorism
Remember terrorism?
Aug 9, 2025 · 11 min
Episode 51 - Embarrassing stories
Taking YOUR calls and reading YOUR comments about all those embarrassing moments in life that you'd rather forget! Featuring Radio 4, suicide bombers, Tom Binns, constipation, seppuku, double murder and The Krankies. PLUS!! All your travel and weather for the region. Full episode on the Patreon which is just £2 a month. Sign up and become culpable.
Aug 3, 2025 · 10 min
Episode 50 - Shoplifting
Taking YOUR calls on the sticky topic of shoplifting! Turkish ambassador Memet Yama calls in to complain about British tourists, Weird Wally gives us his thoughts and Jenny gives us the perspective of a security guard. Full episode on the patreon for reasons that will become obvious once you've signed up. Don't be tight.
Jul 20, 2025 · 14 min
Episode 48 - BACK ON THE AIR!
Back where I belong! Taking YOUR calls and reading YOUR comments on the topic of HIV! How can we all be positive and how can we remove stigma. PLUS!! Travel and weather! DOUBLE PLUS!! FGM of the week!! Full episode only on the patreon for reasons that should be obvious. Just £2 a month which is incredibly cheap and why not be supportive instead of cheap?
Jul 13, 2025 · 10 min
Episode 47 - Vera Lynn with HIV singing in Khosian
Full episodes (over 45 mins long usually) only on the Patreon because you need to have skin in the game to get the good filth. Sign up, sign in, sign on and come on (my tits)
Jul 6, 2025 · 9 min
Episode 46 - The upside of being positive
THIS IS NOT THE FULL EPISODE. To the listen to the full hour long episode, stop being a tight shit and sign uyp to the patreon for just £2 a month. Dead simple and you can listen wherever the fuck you like.
Jun 29, 2025 · 8 min
Episode 45 - The fascinating taxonomy of coconuts
Sign up to the patreon to listen to the full episode. Support you local podcaster, get some skin in the game. It's only £2 which is 50p an episode which is nothing. Jesus. Don't make me beg.
Jun 22, 2025 · 9 min
Episode 44 - The consequences of making delicious faggots
Dave pays the price for being on Live at the Apollo. Reginald takes a trip down memory lane, Emperor Naruhito seeks clarification on certain technical terms and the Concerned Comedians Collective makes it's presence felt. Full episodes are now only on the patreon because this isn't communism and it's just me and it takes loads of work and oh god please love me. My Dad didn't love me.
Jun 15, 2025 · 33 min
Episode 43 - Meatballs made from minced off cuts and offal mixed with herbs
Dave turns heads at the BBC with his stand up comedy resulting in a search for faggots. To listen to the FULL episode please sign up to the Patreon. It only takes a few moments and then you can listen to the full episode where a new world record is set. It only costs £2 a month and you get little extras like hand relief and topless photos. This isn't two cunts chatting and laughing at each other. Put some respect on my name (with £2 pretty please I'll love you long time sucky sucky)
Jun 8, 2025 · 8 min
Episode 42 - What do we say to the God of Death?
Dave tries comedy therapy and becomes the talk of the grapevine, gets cold called by a comedy mentor and is further comedy coached by Ben. Sign up to the patreon to listen to the full, deeply offensive episode. It is only two english pounds which is nothing really. Don't give it to a charity that just hands the money over to a war lord. Give it to me. A war lord.
May 25, 2025 · 10 min
Episode 40 - Man's Best Friend
David gets a call which enables him to talk publicly about dogs with Brian, a prize is given, tears are shed and Ben Silversmith calls to offer Dave some Comedy Therapy. To listen to the full episode, please sign up to the Patreon and get some skin in the game.
May 13, 2025 · 9 min
Episode 38 - VD Day: Victory in Derby
After eating one ton of Japanese rice, the rats launch an all out assault on Gill Convenience Store after a terrorist attack. Jagpesh and Dave are the only ones there to defend the onslaught, but it is only Wong who can save the day. Sign up to the patreon to listen to the full episode. Don't make it awkward.
May 7, 2025 · 18 min
Episode 37 - Selective dementia and something else I can't remember
Brian can't remember, an unwelcome leaving gift, 12 packs of butter and a driving mosque. Full episodes are now only available on the Patreon. Signing up is very quick and each episode works out to about 50 pence. The Dave Longley Breakfast Show on Patreon for all the goodness! I love you? Does that help?
Apr 29, 2025 · 13 min
Episode 36 - Six tons of Japanese rice and a floppy wand
Reminiscing, an unexpected delivery, arguing with an emperor, meowing ingredients and sourcing balloons for the North West's premier children's entertainer. For the full episode head over to my Patreon (Dave Longley Breakfast Show Patreon on google) Skin in the game means you get more of what you love and it helps keep the lights on
Apr 22, 2025 · 9 min
Episode 35 - Posters in the window
Rubbing it through a sari, BBC test Dave, the recent ruling, 6 tons of rice and Roy 'Chubby' Brown
Apr 14, 2025 · 12 min
Episode 34 - Pissing in condensed milk AKA a pint of c*m and a packet of digestives
Dave gives up on a micro penis, starts a new job, meets new brother and takes his first tentative steps back towards hosting his breakfast show again. Full episode is 45 mins long, with the whole episode on the Patreon! That's right! It's not like I can tour this so gimme 50p for an episode FFS. The others have subsidised you long enough. This isn't Cuba.
Apr 9, 2025 · 14 min
Episode 33 - It's nice to catch up
Brian is starving, Jenny phones up with an update about her race transition, Dave and Gurjit reconcile and Ben calls in asking for help turning a hobby into his profession. The conversation with Ben is the entire reason most of this podcast is Patreon only! Sign up and get involved.
Apr 2, 2025 · 45 min
Episode 32 - The flapping of wings
The extended version of this is on the Patreon which you should sign up to because you think this is free? You don't think it costs me? You tight fisted wank.