The Celestial Forecast with Dahlia Kent

Don’t Make a Decision When the Light’s Wrong | September 28–October 4

The Harvest Moon looked magnificent on Saturday. Then Monday showed up with a sink full of dishes. Everybody feels a little flatter once the good lighting leaves, so Dahlia takes all twelve signs through the difference between a real problem and a Monday problem. Before you quit, buy, answer, fix, or dramatically reinvent yourself, give the light a chance to improve.

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Do Not Let a Woman in a Felt Hat Bully You into a Season | September 21–27

The equinox arrives, the Aries full moon turns up the volume, and everybody suddenly wants life to look balanced. Dahlia’s advice for all twelve signs: stop holding level what has already tipped. Also, if it is still ninety-four degrees where you live, you are under no obligation to participate in decorative-vegetable season.

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The Unopened Water Bottle Is Not Hydration | September 14–20

That thing you bought for the improved version of yourself is still sitting exactly where you left it. This week is about follow-through: making the actual plan, sitting down to eat, reaching out once instead of overthinking the message, and doing the small thing instead of admiring the equipment. The unopened water bottle is not hydration. The shoes by the door are not a walk.

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The Paragraph After the No | September 7–13

Labor Day arrives with a fall calendar that looks like a hostage note and other people assigning you labor while calling it community. Dahlia has one rule for all twelve signs: you do not have to do all four things you said yes to. Pick two. And when you say no, stop talking—the paragraph after the no is how you get voluntold.

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The Eclipse Already Did Its Part | August 31–September 6

A partial lunar eclipse in Pisces has shaken something loose, and this week all twelve signs are dealing with the fallout. Aries is trying to get a straight answer. Taurus finally confronts the drawer. Gemini is handed information that absolutely should not get around. Cancer is tempted to adopt somebody else’s problem. Leo gets the air taken out of something they love. Virgo discovers that five small tasks can be more dangerous than one hard one. Meanwhile, Libra is planning a soft opening to fall, Scorpio needs to say thank you, Sagittarius has to choose between the fun friend and the reliable one, Capricorn actually finishes something, Aquarius already knows how the whole situation ends, and Pisces needs to put the phone in another room. One rule for everybody: do not respond to anything before lunch on Tuesday.

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Introducing The Celestial Forecast with Dahlia Kent

Every Monday, Dahlia Kent reads all 12 signs—yours, your mama’s, your neighbor’s, and whoever has been testing your patience. Most horoscopes tell you your energy is shifting. Dahlia tells you which day to send the text, which day to send nothing, and when to let that woman keep being wrong all by herself. A little encouragement, a little clarity, and a much better idea of what not to do. All 12 signs, in and out, while your coffee is still hot. Follow The Celestial Forecast with Dahlia Kent now. New episodes begin Monday, August 31. ALL 12 SIGNS • EVERY MONDAY • UNDER 10 MINUTES