The Cannon Cruisers

North (1994)

North (1994) – Family Comedy Adventure Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week we're covering North (1994), Rob Reiner's family comedy adventure based on the novel by Alan Zweibel. Elijah Wood stars as a twelve-year-old who divorces his parents and travels the world looking for replacements, with a huge supporting cast that includes Bruce Willis, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Dan Aykroyd, Kathy Bates, Reba McEntire, John Ritter, and Scarlett Johansson. JD and Randy revisit one of the most infamous failures of the 1990s and quickly discover that the strange part isn't how badly made North is. It isn't badly made at all. The acting, direction, music, and cinematography only make the confused story and increasingly uncomfortable stereotypes harder to understand. An 87-minute movie somehow feels closer to three hours, and by the time they reach the ratings, even the thunderstorm outside seems ready for the episode to end. Content Warning: This episode includes discussion of racist stereotypes and other mature themes.

Class of 1999 II: The Substitute (1994)

Class of 1999 II: The Substitute (1994) – Sci-Fi Action Horror Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week we're finishing the series with Class of 1999 II: The Substitute (1994), a direct-to-video sci-fi action horror sequel directed by Spiro Razatos from a story by Mark L. Lester. Sasha Mitchell stars as John Bolen, a mysterious substitute teacher who arrives at another violent high school two years after the events of Class of 1999. Caitlin Dulany and Nick Cassavetes also star as the series shifts from killer robot teachers to a slasher-like spin on the same battle between students and authority. JD and Randy agree that the third movie works better than they expected, especially once the action gets moving and Razatos' stunt background takes over. JD's real enemy is the title, which he spends the episode arguing should have remained Class of 2001, while Randy is amused that the killer-teacher movie he half-jokingly pitched during the previous episode is pretty close to what they actually got. Most importantly, Randy managed to stay awake this time. Content Warning: This episode contains mature language and discussion of mature themes.

Class of 1999 (1990)

Class of 1999 (1990) – Dystopian Sci-Fi Action Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week we're covering Class of 1999 (1990), Mark L. Lester's dystopian sci-fi action film and spiritual sequel to Class of 1984. Starring Bradley Gregg, Traci Lind, Pam Grier, John P. Ryan, Stacy Keach, and Malcolm McDowell, the film imagines a future where violent high schools turn to military androids as teachers. Their solution to juvenile delinquency soon becomes a bigger problem than the students themselves. JD and Randy compare it with Class of 1984 and find a movie that barely resembles its predecessor beyond the basic idea. This time Mark L. Lester seems more interested in RoboCop, The Terminator, and the action chops he picked up making Commando. The teenage acting splits them, with JD finding its school-play quality charming while Randy is considerably less forgiving. What they do agree on is how much fun the veteran cast is having and how well the practical effects still work. Randy may have liked it more than Class of 1984, but apparently not enough to stay awake. Content Warning: This episode contains mature language and discussion of mature themes.

Class of 1984 (1982)

Class of 1984 (1982) – Exploitation Crime Drama Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week we're covering Class of 1984 (1982), an exploitation crime drama directed by Mark Lester and starring Perry King, Timothy Van Patten, Roddy McDowall, Lisa Langlois, and Michael J. Fox. Inspired by The Blackboard Jungle, the film follows a music teacher whose attempt to keep order in a troubled high school puts him up against a violent gang of students. JD and Randy compare Class of 1984 with Over the Edge and debate how much of its depiction of school violence still feels relevant. They spend plenty of time on Timothy Van Patten's performance and the film's soundtrack, but the bigger frustration is how long it takes the movie to deliver the revenge story its marketing promises. Along the way, they question whether all that exploitation actually gets in the way of the film's more interesting ideas about violence, authority, and adults failing troubled kids. Content Warning: This episode contains mature language and discussion of mature themes.

Angus (1995)

Angus (1995) – Coming-of-Age Comedy Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week we're looking at Angus (1995), the Patrick Read Johnson coming-of-age comedy starring Charlie Talbert, George C. Scott, Kathy Bates, Chris Owen, and James Van Der Beek in one of his earliest roles. Angus Bethune is a high school student dealing with bullying, family problems, and the usual misery of being a teenager, while the film piles on the mid-90s soundtrack and attitude. JD and Randy get into Charlie Talbert's performance, the film's loaded alternative-rock soundtrack, and the strange decision to give James Van Der Beek almost nothing to do. They also question how much character development was lost in the editing, and whether Angus might have been a much stronger movie with some of those missing pieces left intact. Content Warning: This episode contains mature language and discussion of mature themes.

Over the Edge (1979)

Over the Edge (1979) – Coming-of-Age Drama Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week we’re covering Over the Edge (1979), a coming-of-age drama directed by Jonathan Kaplan and written by Charlie Haas and Tim Hunter, who would later write Tex and River's Edge. Starring Michael Kramer, Pamela Ludwig, Vincent Spano, and introducing Matt Dillon in his film debut, the film follows a group of teenagers in a newly built suburb whose boredom, neglect, and growing frustration erupt into violence. Join JD and Randy as they discuss the film’s lasting influence on youth dramas, its naturalistic performances, and why its slow-burn pacing makes the explosive finale so effective. They also explore the authentic portrayal of suburban alienation, Matt Dillon’s breakout performance, the outstanding rock soundtrack, and the film’s connection to later works like Rumble Fish and the grunge era. Tune in to hear why this overlooked cult classic remains one of the most honest portrayals of disaffected youth ever put on film. Content Warning: This episode contains mature language and discussion of mature themes.

Brink (1998)

Brink! (1998) – Disney Channel Sports Coming-of-Age Comedy Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week we’re covering Brink! (1998), the Disney Channel Original Movie directed by Greg Beeman and starring Erik von Detten, Sam Horrigan, Christina Vidal, David Groh, and Patrick Levis. When gifted inline skater Andy “Brink” Brinker joins a corporate-sponsored team to help his struggling family, he risks losing both his friends and his sense of identity in the process. Join JD and Randy as they discuss why this beloved DCOM still holds up, from its energetic direction and authentic late-90s X Games atmosphere to its surprisingly nuanced family drama. They also explore the memorable soundtrack, the film’s themes of friendship and integrity, and why Brink! feels more like a theatrical sports movie than a typical Disney Channel production. Tune in to hear why this inline-skating classic remains one of the crown jewels of the DCOM era.

Stay Tuned (1992)

Stay Tuned (1992) – Fantasy Comedy Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week we’re covering Stay Tuned (1992), a fantasy comedy directed by Peter Hyams and starring John Ritter, Pam Dawber, Jeffrey Jones, and Eugene Levy. When a television-obsessed suburban couple signs a contract with a mysterious satellite TV salesman, they're pulled into a demonic broadcasting network where surviving each channel is the only way to escape. Join JD and Randy as they discuss the film’s overlooked cult status, Joe Dante-inspired style, rapid-fire television parodies, and why it may have been released for the wrong generation. They also explore the impressive practical effects, Chuck Jones’ animated sequence, and John Ritter’s standout performance as the perfect everyman. Tune in to hear why this forgotten 90s fantasy comedy deserves a second look. Content Warning: This episode contains mature language and discussion of mature themes.

Mom and Dad Save the World (1992)

Mom and Dad Save the World (1992) – Sci-Fi Comedy Spoof Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week we’re covering Mom and Dad Save the World (1992), a sci-fi comedy spoof directed by Greg Beeman and written by the creators of Bill & Ted. Starring Jeffrey Jones, Teri Garr, Jon Lovitz, Wallace Shawn, Eric Idle, and Kathy Ireland, the film follows an ordinary suburban couple who are abducted to a planet of lovable idiots and unexpectedly become humanity’s only hope. Join JD and Randy as they discuss the film’s troubled release, its box office failure, and why it found a second life on HBO. We break down the impressive practical effects, wonderfully silly gags, Wallace Shawn stealing every scene, and why this affectionate Flash Gordon parody deserved better than its 1992 release date. Tune in to hear why this overlooked cult comedy is more fun than its reputation suggests. Content Warning: This episode contains discussion of an actor's criminal history involving child sexual abuse material.

Rent-A-Kid (1995)

Rent-a-Kid (1995) – Disney Channel Family Comedy Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week we’re covering Rent-a-Kid (1995), a Disney Channel family comedy directed by Fred Gerber and starring Leslie Nielsen, Christopher Lloyd, Matt McCoy, and Sherry Miller. A businessman launches an unusual foster program that lets prospective parents "rent" children before adopting them, leading one couple to discover what family really means. Join JD and Randy as they discuss the film’s unusual premise, made-for-TV roots, and why it feels like a forgotten cable movie from the 90s. We compare it to Problem Child, talk about Leslie Nielsen and Christopher Lloyd’s limited roles, and debate whether its low-key charm outweighs its lack of excitement. Please note this episode was recorded remotely and audio quality may vary. Tune in to hear why this pleasant but forgettable comedy lands right in the middle of the pack. Content Warning: This episode contains mature humour and discussion of child trafficking references in the context of the film's premise.

Problem Child (1990)

Problem Child (1990) – Controversial Family Comedy Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week we’re covering Problem Child (1990), the controversial family comedy directed by Dennis Dugan and starring John Ritter, Michael Oliver, Amy Yasbeck, Jack Warden, Gilbert Gottfried, and Michael Richards. When a chronically returned orphan finally finds a home with a well-meaning father, Junior’s destructive antics turn suburban life into complete chaos. Join JD and Randy as they revisit one of the most critically hated family films of the 1990s and ask whether its reputation is actually deserved. We discuss John Ritter’s surprisingly heartfelt performance, the film’s themes of adoption and belonging, and why Problem Child is far less cruel and mean-spirited than many reviewers claimed. Please note this episode was recorded remotely and audio quality may vary. Tune in to hear why this infamous comedy may be due for a reappraisal. Content Warning: This episode contains explicit language.

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story (2022)

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story (2022) – Satire Parody Musical Comedy Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week, JD and Randy check out Weird: The Al Yankovic Story (2022), the satire parody musical comedy directed by Eric Appel and starring Daniel Radcliffe, Evan Rachel Wood, Rainn Wilson, Julian Nicholson, and Toby Huss. The film presents a heavily fictionalized, over-the-top biography of the legendary parody artist Al Yankovic, tracking his life from an accordion-playing kid to a chart-topping superstar dealing with drug cartels and a wild relationship with Madonna. Join JD and Randy as they break down Daniel Radcliffe’s intensely serious performance and how the movie plays as a perfect takedown of the typical Hollywood biopic genre. The guys chat about the absurdity of the action-packed third act, the massive cameo-filled pool party scene featuring characters like Andy Warhol and Salvador Dali, and the few actual truths hidden inside the script. They also talk about the credit song, Weird Al’s real-life career trajectory, and why this film works as an excellent double feature with UHF.

UHF (1989)

UHF (1989) – Comedy Satire Parody Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week, JD and Randy check out UHF (1989), the cult classic comedy satire directed by Jay Levy and starring Weird Al Yankovic, Michael Richards, Kevin McCarthy, David Bowe, Fran Drescher, and Victoria Jackson. The movie follows George Newman, a guy who cannot seem to keep a job until he gets the chance to manage a low-rated UHF station. He takes over the studio and turns it into a local powerhouse packed with bizarre public access programming and eccentric characters. Join JD and Randy as they break down the movie's zany humour, memorable bits like Spatula City, and how the writing stays tight without punching down. The guys chat about the film getting crushed at the box office in July 1989 by massive summer blockbusters, the stacked cast of weirdos, and behind-the-scenes trivia like Mark Knopfler playing guitar on the soundtrack. They also look at how Weird Al's long career kept this movie in the pop culture consciousness for nearly 40 years, making it a favourite example of the "save the TV station" plot.

Masterminds (1997)

Masterminds (1997) – Die Hard in a School Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! JD and Randy take a look at Masterminds (1997), a PG‑13 action film directed by Roger Christian and starring Patrick Stewart, Vincent Kartheiser and Bradley Whitford. The movie follows a rebellious teen who brings his stepsister to an elite prep school on the same day the campus is taken over by a security contractor demanding millions in ransom. They talk about how the film blends its “Die Hard in a school” premise with 1990s family‑friendly action, and look at the mix of traps, hacking moments and set‑pieces that shape the story. They also get into the tone, the PG‑13 limitations, and how the movie compares to other school‑siege films of the era. The conversation touches on the villains, the polished studio feel and the odd place the film occupies in the 1990s action landscape. Content Warning: This episode contains explicit content.

Spookies (1985)

Spookies (1986) – Horror Creature Feature Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! JD and Randy take a look at Spookies (1986), a horror creature feature directed by Brendan Faulkner, Thomas Doran and Jeanie Joseph, and starring Felix Ward, Alec Nemser and Maria Pechukas. The film follows a group of travellers who take shelter in an abandoned mansion, unaware that a sorcerer is using the house to trap souls while a series of monsters close in on them. They talk about how the film’s unusual production history shapes the final cut, and look at the mix of creatures, set‑pieces and ideas that appear throughout the story. They also get into the way the added footage changes the tone, the choices behind the effects work, and how the movie fits into the tradition of stitched‑together genre films like Ninja Terminator. They also bump into a few surprise zombies, something that never fails to keep Randy on his toes. Content Warning: This episode contains explicit content.

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Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010) – Horror Comedy Cult Classic Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week we are checking out Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010), the beloved horror comedy directed by Eli Craig and starring Tyler Labine, Alan Tudyk, and Katrina Bowden. The film follows two well-meaning hillbillies who head to their fixer-upper vacation cabin in the woods, only to be mistaken for chainsaw-wielding killers by a group of preppy college students. Join JD and Randy as they break down this clever subversion of slasher tropes and the "comedy of errors" that drives the plot. The duo discusses the fantastic chemistry between Labine and Tudyk, the film’s brutal yet accidental gore, and how the story completely shifts depending on which character’s perspective you follow. They also touch on the film's desaturated 2010s color grading and why it remains a definitive cult favorite for fans who want to laugh at their horror. Content Warning: This episode contains explicit language.

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Detention (2011)

Detention (2011) – Sci-Fi Slasher Parody Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week we are checking out the 2011 genre-bending film Detention, directed by Joseph Kahn and starring Josh Hutcherson, Shanley Caswell, and Dane Cook. The story follows a group of high school students in Grizzly Lake who must survive a slasher killer known as Cinderhella while trapped in a 12-hour detention that involves time travel, body swapping, and a world-ending apocalypse. Join JD and Randy as they attempt to untangle the chaotic, fast-paced energy of this post-modern cult classic. The hosts discuss Joseph Kahn’s distinct music video aesthetic, the film’s relentless barrage of 90s and 2000s pop culture references, and how it deconstructs typical slasher tropes through a self-aware lens. They also weigh in on whether the movie's confusing, multi-genre plot is a brilliant piece of experimental cinema or simply too exhausting for a casual watch. Content Warning: This episode contains explicit language.

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The Last Match (1991)

The Last Match (1991) – Italian Action Sports Exploitation Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week we are covering the 1991 Italian cult film The Last Match, directed by Fabrizio De Angelis and featuring an ensemble cast including Oliver Tobias, Ernest Borgnine, Henry Silva, and Charles Napier. The story follows a professional football player whose daughter is wrongfully imprisoned in a corrupt Caribbean country, leading him to recruit his entire team for a daring military-style prison break conducted like a championship game. Join JD and Randy as they discuss the bizarre origins of this script and the sheer absurdity of watching a football team in full pads and helmets engaging in a violent skirmish. The hosts break down Ernest Borgnine’s performance as the coach, the film's surprisingly slow law-thriller buildup, and the ludicrous final twenty minutes where sports plays are used to coordinate a prison raid. They also weigh in on the film’s "vaguely Cuba coded" setting and debate whether the entertaining climax makes up for the wooden acting and confusing editorial choices found in the first two thirds.

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Zu Warriors from the Magic Mountain (1983)

Zu Warriors from the Magic Mountain (1983) – Wuxia Fantasy Action Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week we are checking out the 1983 Wuxia classic Zu Warriors from the Magic Mountain, directed by Tsui Hark and starring Yuen Biao, Sammo Hung, Adam Cheng, Bridget Lin, and Moon Lee. Set in ancient China amidst a landscape of constant civil war, the film follows a young soldier who stumbles into a supernatural conflict and must team up with a group of powerful masters to prevent a vengeful spirit from destroying mankind. Join JD and Randy as they discuss how this groundbreaking production bridged the gap between traditional Hong Kong cinema and modern Hollywood special effects. The hosts break down the film’s chaotic energy, the legendary cast's physical performances, and the specific visual elements that famously inspired John Carpenter’s Big Trouble in Little China. They also explore the film's themes of unity and explore whether the fast-paced, imaginative action still holds up as a high recommendation for fans of the fantasy genre.

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Dollman (1991)

Dollman (1991) – Sci-Fi Action Thriller Hey Cannon Cruisers fans! This week we are checking out the 1991 sci-fi actioner Dollman, directed by Albert Pyun and starring Tim Thomerson, Jackie Earle Haley, and Kamala Lopez. The film follows Brick Bardo, a hard-boiled cop from the planet Arcturus who finds himself stranded on Earth after a space pursuit, only to discover that on our planet, he is only thirteen inches tall. Join JD and Randy as they discuss why this Albert Pyun cult classic is the perfect choice for a high-energy, 82-minute watch. The hosts break down Tim Thomerson’s iconic performance as the pint-sized peacekeeper, Jackie Earle Haley’s turn as a ruthless gang leader, and the creative practical effects used to sell the scale differences between the hero and his new environment. They also explore Pyun’s ability to deliver an enjoyable genre film on a micro-budget and debate how this gritty, "tough guy" space cop story holds up decades later. Content Warning: This episode contains explicit language.

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