The Best of You

Dr. Alison Cook

Join therapist and author, Dr. Alison Cook, as she guides you through some of your toughest challenges with wisdom, kindness, and grace. Together with friends and experts we'll unpack the best of psychology from a faith-based perspective. You’ll discover how to break free from painful patterns, mend your past, and discover what brings out the best of you.

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Today · 8 min
When You’ve Stopped Expecting Anything Good To Happen
Today's Scripture: Psalm 30:1–5 Sometimes the hardest part of a painful season isn’t simply surviving it—it’s discovering that joy still feels far away even after the worst has passed. In Psalm 30, David makes room for both realities: the night is real, and it doesn’t get the final word. Today, we’ll explore why joy can feel risky after grief or disappointment and how to begin receiving goodness again without denying what still hurts. You'll learn: *Why Psalm 30 doesn’t minimize grief or rush you toward happiness *Why prolonged hardship can make joy harder to receive *How joy and grief can exist together *Why some parts of you may feel safer expecting disappointment *A gentle practice for noticing one small sign of “morning” today Go Deeper: Share this episode with someone who needs to hear that sorrow is real, but it isn’t the end of the story. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Friday · 9 min
When You Feel Like You Don’t Belong
Today's Scripture: 1 Corinthians 12:14–26 What do you do when you feel like you don’t belong — or when you’ve learned to protect yourself by pretending you don’t need anyone? Today’s Scripture gives us Paul’s picture of the body, where every part matters and no part can say, “I don’t belong” or “I don’t need you.” This episode helps you recognize the strategies you use around belonging, stop measuring your worth by comparison, and practice showing up in the body as someone who is already needed and loved. You’ll learn: *Why feeling like you don’t belong does not make it true *How exclusion can register in the body like real pain *Why some of us try to earn belonging while others avoid it *How community helps regulate what we were never meant to carry alone *One small way to let someone else show up for you today Go Deeper: Pick up The Secure Soul and the Companion Guide to go deeper into repairing old attachment wounds and returning to love. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Thursday · 54 min
220. Is Your Faith Falling Apart—or Growing Deeper? With Ian Morgan Cron
What happens when the faith that once held you no longer feels like it can carry the questions you’re asking now? You may still love God. You don’t want to leave your faith behind. But the beliefs, practices, or ways of relating to God that once sustained you begin to feel too small for the life you’re living. In this week’s conversation, Dr. Alison is joined by bestselling author, psychotherapist, and spiritual director Ian Morgan Cron to explore the tender space between silencing your questions and burning everything down. Through Ian’s brand-new novel Chasing Francis, they discuss how a crisis of faith can become an invitation to spiritual growth, deeper intimacy with God, and a faith that is more fully your own. Why a crisis of faith can become an opportunity for deeper spiritual growth The difference between healthy questioning and becoming trapped in cynicism What spiritual individuation looks like and why it matters Why the faith that sustained an earlier version of you may need room to grow How to return to the foundation that God is love and you are loved Why resisting a difficult spiritual season can create even more suffering How beauty, imagination, story, and nature can restore perspective What St. Francis can teach us about simplicity, compassion, and an embodied faith Your questions do not necessarily mean that you are losing your faith. They may be an invitation to examine what you inherited, hold on to what is true, and allow God to build something deeper. As Ian reminds us, sometimes the work is not forcing yourself back into a previous expression of faith. It is asking: What is the invitation here? You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ You’ll explore: More Resources: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Wednesday · 9 min
When Shame Makes You Feel Like Hiding
Today's Scripture: 2 Samuel 9:1–8 What do you do when shame tells you that you are too damaged, too much, or too far behind to belong? Today’s Scripture tells the story of a wounded man who is hiding, and King David’s kindness that brings him back to the table. This episode helps you recognize the hiding place inside your soul, receive kindness without self-evisceration, and begin to trust that belonging can meet you wounds and all. You’ll learn: *Why shame drives us into hiding and withdrawal *How belonging can feel threatening when your history with power has been painful *Why kindness often has to be received repeatedly over time *How wounded younger parts of us learn to stay hidden *What it means to believe the seat at the table is actually yours Go Deeper: Listen to the daily episode on Mark 5: When Your Pain Becomes Your Identity: How Jesus Gives You a New Name Episode 160: When You Feel Unwanted—Meeting the Parts of You That Long to Belong with IFS Therapist Tammy Sollenberger Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Tuesday · 9 min
When You’re Afraid God Won’t Be Kind
Today's Scripture: Luke 11:9–13 What do you do when you believe God is good, but your body still braces when it’s time to ask him for help? Today’s Scripture speaks to the history beneath our prayers — the early experiences that taught us whether asking was safe, ignored, punished, or met with care. This episode helps you notice the inner flinch, honor the part of you that stopped asking, and begin rebuilding trust with God one small request at a time. You’ll learn: *Why asking God for help can feel risky *How early attachment wounds shape what you expect from God *Why what you believe and what you feel can be different systems *How to notice the inner flinch without shaming it *One small way to practice asking God for something real Go Deeper: Pre-order The Secure Soul to learn how your earliest attachments shape what you expect from God — and how to begin repairing those patterns. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 3 · 9 min
When Your Soul Feels Empty and Depleted
Today's Scripture: Psalm 107:4–9 What do you do when your soul feels empty, disoriented, or far from anything that feels like home? Today’s Scripture gives language for the part of us that is hungry, thirsty, wandering, and running on empty. This episode helps you stop shaming your depletion, recognize hunger as a signal, and cry out to the God who meets us with direction, belonging, and good things. You’ll learn: *Why emptiness and disorientation are not failures *How Scripture names the soul’s hunger without shame *Why depletion can make life feel flat or colorless *How crying out can become an attachment move *One honest need you can bring to God and someone safe Go Deeper: Listen to the daily episode on Psalm 37, and pre-order The Secure Soul to learn how to repair inner attachment wounds with God. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 31 · 10 min
When Spiritual Growth Starts to Feel Like Pressure
Today's Scripture: 2 Peter 1:3–8 What do you do when even spiritual growth starts to feel like another standard you’re failing to meet? Today’s Scripture reminds us that growth begins not with deficiency, but with what God has already given. This episode helps you notice when healing turns into hustle, receive growth as participation with grace, and remember that the goal is not flawless self-mastery, but love. You’ll learn: *Why spiritual growth can become another form of pressure *How to tell the difference between effort rooted in fear and effort rooted in love *Why growth happens in“increasing measure” *How healing can become hustle when it’s driven by proving yourself *One way to notice the fruit already growing in you Go Deeper: This weekend, pause and name one area where you can already see the fruit of growth. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 30 · 36 min
219. Why Rejection Hurts So Much—and How to Stop Abandoning Yourself When It Happens
Rejection has a way of feeling bigger than the moment itself. A missed invitation. An unanswered text. A friendship that seems to be slipping away. An opportunity that goes to someone else. Even when we can understand why it happened, something inside us can begin telling a much older story: I'm not enough. I don't belong. This always happens to me. In this deeply personal solo episode, Dr. Alison shares a recent experience with rejection and explores why present-day disappointments often awaken wounds from the past. Drawing from Psalm 27, attachment psychology, and the healing practice she calls Recognize and Return, she offers a compassionate framework for tending the sting of rejection without letting it define your worth. You'll learn: Why rejection often activates emotional memories far older than the present moment How to recognize when today's hurt has become an old inner narrative Why logic alone can't heal wounded places inside us How self-compassion helps right-size present disappointments The difference between extending grace to others and abandoning yourself A practical practice for moving through rejection with God's loving presence Rejection may still hurt. But it doesn't have to become the story you tell about yourself. Healing begins when today's pain is allowed to be today's pain—instead of carrying every hurt you've ever known. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 201: “This Must Be My Fault”—Why We Take Rejection So Personally 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 29 · 10 min
How to Start Rebuilding When Something Has Been Broken
Today's Scripture: Nehemiah 2:11–18 What do you do when something in your life has been broken for a long time, but rebuilding feels overwhelming? Today’s Scripture shows us that restoration often begins by honestly looking at the damage, listening for what God is stirring, and taking one faithful next step. This episode helps you name what has been left unprotected, discern what is yours to rebuild, and begin the good work one brick at a time. You’ll learn: *Why rebuilding begins with honest assessment *How to look at damage without becoming defined by it *Why some early hopes need to be protected before they are shared *How healthy boundaries create safety for love *One small “brick” you can put in place today Go Deeper: Share this episode with someone you trust to walk with you in the work of rebuilding. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 28 · 9 min
How to Stay Tender Without Being Naive
Today's Scripture: Mark 10:13–16 What do you do when being tender, dependent, or open feels risky? Today’s Scripture shows Jesus welcoming the children others tried to push aside — and inviting us to receive the kingdom like a child. This episode helps you reconnect with the tender, curious, receptive part of you without abandoning wisdom, discernment, or strength. You’ll learn: *Why childlike faith is not the same as being childish *How early experiences can teach us to hide tenderness or need *Why strength does not have to mean needing nothing *How Jesus welcomes the childlike part of you *What it means to receive love without earning it Go Deeper: Take the Family Roles Quiz at dralisoncook.com/quiz to better understand the role you learned to play early in life. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 27 · 11 min
What to Do When Pain Makes God Feel Far Away
Today's Scripture: Psalm 73:21–28 What do you do when pain, bitterness, fear, or loneliness makes it hard to sense that God is near? Today’s Scripture gives language for the honest ache of feeling disconnected from God while still being held by him. This episode helps you practice recognizing what is happening inside of you and returning to the love that has never left. You’ll learn: *Why feeling far from God is normal *How to recognize what is happening inside without shame *Why “yet I am always with you” is a practice of return *How pain can magnify certain feelings *One small way to return to God when your heart feels weak Go Deeper: Join my live roundtable with Jenna Riemersma and Tammy Sollenberger on July 29 when you pre-order The Secure Soul ⁠ Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 24 · 8 min
When You’re Exhausted From Proving You’re Good Enough
Today's Scripture: Titus 3:3–7 What happens when even your faith begins to feel like another place where you have to prove yourself? Today’s Scripture reminds us that God saves and renews us not because of how well we perform, but because of His kindness, love, and mercy. This episode will help you recognize when good qualities such as responsibility, faithfulness, and helpfulness are being driven by a fear that you must earn love. You’ll learn: *How striving for approval can turn into chronic overfunctioning *Why shame often disguises itself as spiritual maturity *The difference between God’s conviction and self-condemnation *How your early experiences of love may shape the way you imagine God *How to recognize the urge to prove yourself and return to mercy Go Deeper:Take the Family Roles Quiz to discover how the role you learned early in life may still shape your ability to receive love—from others, from yourself, and from God. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 23 · 51 min
218. From Panic Attack to Survivor Season 50 Winner: How Aubry Bracco Learned to Trust Herself Again
What if the greatest risk isn't failing? What if it's losing yourself while trying to succeed? In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with Survivor 50 winner Aubry Bracco for a conversation about resilience, identity, and what it means to stay grounded in yourself through both success and disappointment. Aubry shares the deeply personal journey behind her years on Survivor—from experiencing a panic attack on national television and falling just short of winning, to stepping away from the game entirely after realizing she'd become disconnected from herself. Years later, she returned with a different mindset—not to prove herself, but to trust herself. That shift changed everything. Whether you're facing a setback, navigating a major life transition, or learning to quiet the pressure to achieve, this conversation is a reminder that true confidence isn't found in controlling the outcome—it's found in staying connected to who you are. You'll learn: Why resilience is built by staying present, not chasing perfection How setbacks can become invitations to deeper healing The difference between adapting and abandoning yourself Why taking risks doesn't require certainty—it requires trust How to distinguish your own inner wisdom from others' expectations What it looks like to pursue success without losing your sense of self Sometimes the bravest thing you can do isn't guaranteeing the outcome. It's trusting yourself enough to take the next step anyway. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 22 · 8 min
When Your Pain Is Misunderstood
Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 1:10–18 What do you do when someone misreads your pain and assumes the worst about you? Today’s Scripture introduces us to Hannah, whose anguish is mistaken for wrongdoing even as she is pouring out her soul to God. Her story reminds us that other people may misunderstand your tears, your reactions, or the years behind your pain—but God does not. This episode will help you bring the parts of your story that feel tangled, wordless, or repeatedly misread into the presence of the God who sees clearly. You’ll learn: *Why being misunderstood can make pain feel even more isolating *What Hannah’s wordless prayer teaches us about honest connection with God *Why your pain does not have to be perfectly explained to be seen *How to advocate for yourself when someone gets your story wrong *One way to release pain you have been holding inside Go Deeper: Read The Secure Soul to learn how to bring every part of yourself—including the parts that feel wordless or misunderstood—into the compassionate presence of God. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 21 · 9 min
How Jesus Meets You in Grief
Today's Scripture: John 11:17–27, 32–36 What do you do when grief leaves you wondering where God was—and why He didn’t intervene? Today’s Scripture shows us a Jesus who does not rush past sorrow, shame us for our questions, or demand that hope replace our tears. He enters the place of pain and weeps with us. This episode will help you honor your grief without mistaking it for a failure of faith. You’ll learn: *Why Jesus wept even though He knew resurrection was coming *How spiritualizing grief too quickly can leave you feeling more alone *Why disappointment with God does not disqualify you from closeness with Him *What it means to let Jesus witness the place of your deepest pain *Why Christian hope makes room for both resurrection and lament Go Deeper: Episode 133: Navigating the 6 Stages of Grief with Renowned Grief Expert David Kessler Episode 98: Why Your Grief Matters & How to Support Those Who Are Grieving with J.S. Park Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 20 · 9 min
When You Feel Alone—and Wonder Where God Is
Today's Scripture: Psalm 145:8–18 What do you do when loneliness starts to make you question God’s nearness? Today’s Scripture reminds us that God does not ask us to come with polished words, tidy emotions, or perfect faith. God draws near when we call on him in truth. This episode will help you bring your actual self into God’s presence, including the parts of you that feel angry, unseen, disappointed, or far away. You’ll learn: *Why loneliness can begin to distort how you see God *What it means to call on God “in truth” *Why honesty with God creates connection instead of distance *How spiritual performance can leave hurting parts of you alone *One simple way to reach for God when you cannot feel His nearness Go Deeper: Read The Secure Soul to learn how to recognize the parts of you that feel far from God and return to His loving presence. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 17 · 10 min
How to Know If It’s Your Inner Critic or Conviction
Today's Scripture: 1 John 3:18–20 What do you do when the harshest voice in your life is the one inside you? Today’s Scripture helps us distinguish between true conviction, which leads to repair and life, and self-condemnation, which crushes us with shame. This episode helps you recognize the inner critic, notice when self-criticism starts to sound spiritual, and rest your heart in the presence of the God who is greater than your heart. You’ll learn: *The difference between conviction and condemnation *Why sensitive, conscientious people often mistake shame for maturity *How the inner critic tries to protect you through harshness *Why God’s full knowledge of you is comfort, not threat *One way to respond when your inner critic gets loud Go Deeper: Episode 140: How to Stop Blaming Yourself for Things That Aren’t Your Fault Read I Shouldn’t Feel This Way for help distinguishing true guilt from false guilt. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 16 · 51 min
217. What to Do When You’re the Only One Trying: Leslie Vernick on Emotionally Destructive Relationships
Every marriage goes through difficult seasons. But what happens when you're the only one willing to do the work? When every conversation ends in blame, defensiveness, or silence? When you're trying to repair the relationship, but your partner refuses to take responsibility? In this week's episode, Dr. Alison sits down with licensed clinical social worker and relationship expert Leslie Vernick to explore the difference between a marriage that's simply hard and one that's become emotionally destructive. Together, they unpack the patterns that quietly erode trust, why healthy relationships require repair, and how to begin reclaiming your own stability—even if your spouse never changes. You'll learn: The difference between a difficult marriage and an emotionally destructive one Why repair—not perfection—is the mark of a healthy relationship The warning signs of blame, gaslighting, and chronic deflection How to stop centering your life around changing another person Why becoming a God-centered person changes the way you navigate unhealthy relationships Practical first steps you can take when you're the only one pursuing growth Whether you're navigating a difficult marriage yourself or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers wisdom, compassion, and hope. Because healing doesn't always begin when someone else changes. Sometimes it begins when you discover what it looks like to stand on your own two feet while remaining deeply rooted in God. Take Leslie’s free quiz “Are you in an emotionally destructive marriage?” Make sure to read Leslie’s book “The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing it, Stopping It, Surviving It” More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 203: Staying Close When Connection Feels Hard—The Relationship Skills No One Taught You (with Relationship Expert Dr. James Cordova) 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 15 · 9 min
How to Believe What God Says About You
Today's Scripture: Judges 6:11–16 What do you do when God calls you beloved, strong, courageous, or capable — but a part of you does not believe it applies to you? Today’s Scripture shows God meeting Gideon while he is afraid and hiding, then calling him a “mighty warrior.” This episode helps you notice the old stories you’ve been living under and begin trusting God’s presence more than your fear, insecurity, or family narrative. You’ll learn: *Why God’s truth about you can feel unfamiliar at first *How old narratives shape what you believe you’re capable of *Why God calls Gideon while he is still hiding *The difference between false affirmation and holy naming *How to go in the strength you actually have today Go Deeper: Share this episode with someone who struggles to believe what God says about them. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 14 · 9 min
How to Stop Silencing What You Need
Today's Scripture: Luke 18:35–43 What do you do when you’ve learned to swallow your needs, lower your voice, or stop asking for help? Today’s Scripture shows a blind man crying out to Jesus while the crowd tells him to be quiet — and Jesus stops to listen. This episode helps you notice where you’ve been trained into silence, reclaim the dignity of your longing, and answer Jesus’ question: “What do you want me to do for you?” You’ll learn: *Why your needs may feel inconvenient or “too much” *How learned silence develops when your voice has been dismissed *Why Jesus is not irritated by your longing *How desire can become a doorway to encounter *One honest way to answer Jesus’ question today Go Deeper: Take a moment to write down your answer to Jesus’ question: “What do you want me to do for you?” Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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