The Autism Mums Podcast

Encore: Is School the Only Option? Understanding EOTAS for SEND Families with Lauren Vermeulen

We've been hearing from so many mums in our community lately who are struggling with school and the different options, so we wanted to bring this incredibly important conversation with Laura Vermeulen back to the top of your feed. If your child is struggling to attend school, you might be wondering what the options are. In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome back Lauren Vermeulen from Victory-us to talk about EOTAS (Education Otherwise Than At or In School). Biography Lauren is the founder of Victory-us, an independent SEND Teacher - supporting, empowering and providing EOTAS to send children. Lauren has taught in a variety of schools and SEND provisions, leading emotional regulation, behaviour support trainings and PSHE. She has expertise in supporting children with bespoke and tailored learning and mental health support, to ensure children flourish on education otherwise than at school. She now supports children their families who can’t access school and need tailored support. Key Takeaways EOTAS stands for Education Otherwise Than At or In School. It is specifically for children who hold an EHCP - this is what sets it apart from elective home education. When a child has an EHCP and cannot be educated in a school setting, the responsibility for funding and meeting that child's needs sits with the local authority, not the parent. EOTAS is not the same as home education. If your child has an EHCP and you are educating them at home, the local authority still has a legal duty of care - and that includes funding. The LA must ensure all of Section F is being met. Getting EOTAS agreed can be a lengthy process. Local authorities are required to work through a list of provisions under Section 61 before EOTAS can be agreed - from mainstream, to resource bases, to specialist and independent schools, to online provision. This is why having a well-written EHCP that accurately reflects your child's needs is so important from the start. EOTAS is not just a tutor. A proper EOTAS package should address all of Section F - educational, health, and care needs. Emotional regulation, OT, SALT, therapy, and community access can all be part of the package, not just academic learning. Positive evidence matters. When building a case for EOTAS, it's not just about what isn't working - it's about evidencing what does. Is your child engaging with an online platform? A tutor? An activity based on their special interest? All of this counts. Section 19 is a different but related route. If your child cannot attend school for health reasons (including emotional school-based avoidance), and has had 15 or more consecutive days out of school, Section 19 may apply - even without an EHCP. It's intended to be temporary, but it can be a valuable window to collect evidence of what works. The goal of EOTAS is holistic, not just academic. Lauren challenges the idea that education means the national curriculum. Life skills, emotional regulation, self-advocacy, sensory needs, and community access are all valid - and essential - parts of a child's education. EOTAS can and should be reviewed regularly. Families should expect six-weekly check-ins with the LA, as well as annual review. If the LA identifies a school placement, parents are not obligated to accept it - as long as they can evidence why it would be less suitable than the current provision. You don't have to figure out the package alone. Lauren works with families to design bespoke EOTAS packages built around the child's interests, needs, and outcomes - starting with what the child loves and working backwards from there. Mentioned in This Episode MindJam — Emotional and SEN support for young people through gaming, game design and digital skills Kiwi STEM Boxes — subscription-based learning activity boxes referenced in the context of EOTAS packages Lisa Lloyd - ASD with a G&T Connect with Lauren Book a free 30 minute call with Lauren via the Calendly link on the bottom right-hand side of her website. Website: www.victory-us.co.uk Instagram: @victoryus.lv Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Autism, Halloween and Half-Term

Half-term brings its own kind of pressure, even before Halloween enters the picture. In this episode, Victoria and Natalie talk about what happens when routine disappears for a week, Halloween itself, what the holidays are 'supposed' to look like, and building a version that actually works for your family. Key Takeaways Half-term can bring anxiety even when a child is genuinely excited to be off school Halloween costumes and face paints can feel uncomfortable A visual timetable can help make an unstructured week far easier to manage Keeping a simple record of appointments, meetings and behaviour patterns can be helpful to use as evidence for diagnosis, EHCPs and panel reviews Quiet downtime after an activity can help some children recover and regulate Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Could Lymph Drainage Help Autistic Children and Their Families?

In this episode, we’re joined by John Ossipinsky, known online as “The Lymph Man,” to talk about a part of the body most of us never think about, the lymphatic system. John has spent years studying how this network of vessels clears waste and inflammation, and he shares his take on how it might connect to the way our children feel, think and cope day to day. He covers posture, diet, deep breathing, and a simple shoulder exercise you can try at home. Biography John Ossipinsky, known as LymphMan, is a Lymphatic Health Coach and host of The Lymph-Brain Revolution Podcast. He’s spent over 30 years as a Certified Lymphedema Therapist, with advanced training in CranioSacral Therapy and Visceral Manipulation, helping thousands of clients improve their quality of life. In this episode he talks about how supporting the lymphatic system, movement and inflammation can help teens and adults on the autism spectrum feel more balanced. Key Takeaways The lymphatic system has no pump of its own, unlike the heart and blood. It relies on movement, posture and breathing to keep it flowing. Poor posture and long periods on screens with the head down restrict lymph flow in the neck, something John says affects adults and children alike. When the lymphatic system can’t clear cellular waste, it builds up as inflammation, which can show up anywhere in the body: skin, joints, brain. Diet has a direct effect on lymph flow. A typical Western diet (meat, bread, white flour, sugar) is acid-forming, and acidity restricts the lymphatic system. Small daily habits, deep breathing, movement, and what John calls the “Lymph Man Shoulder Shuffle”, can noticeably improve lymph flow in just a few minutes. Mentioned in This Episode John’s free gift: Lymphatic System Health Guide & 7-Day Plan — https://www.johnossipinsky.com/lymphmans-lymphatic-system-health-guide Connect with John Ossipinsky Website: www.HealthyLymphSystem.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lymphman/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LymphMan TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lymphman_john_ossipinsky X: https://x.com/LymphMan YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@LymphMan LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-ossipinsky-60520914/ Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Substack - https://theautismmums.substack.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

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7 Mistakes Schools Make That Break an Autistic Child's Trust

In this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're talking about the mistakes schools and professionals make that might seem small to them but can be enormous for autistic children and SEND families. We share our own experiences of placements that worked and placements that broke down, including in specialist schools and alternative provisions where you'd expect staff to know better. We talk about what happens when promises aren't kept, when communication breaks down and when timelines drift, and why for some children, once trust is gone, there's no easy way back. We also talk about why parents raise concerns early, why that isn't being overprotective, and what schools can do that same week when a parent says their child is close to not coming in. Key Takeaways Knowing the child before they arrive matters. Reading the EHCP and asking parents about likes, dislikes and triggers can make or break a placement The first session counts. For many autistic children, one bad experience can lead straight to refusal Keeping promises is essential to a child's sense of safety, and broken promises are rarely forgotten You can ignore the behaviour, but you should never ignore the child. A child left alone in a shutdown can feel abandoned Whatever caused a meltdown or shutdown needs addressing quickly, not days later Ignoring requests for meetings or a child's anxieties is one of the fastest routes to placement breakdown Clear timelines help anxious children. "Later" needs to mean a specific day and time Schools don't get endless chances. With some autistic children it can be one strike, not three Once a child says they're done, there's often no way back, so needs must be met much earlier Children who mask or comply at school may be holding it together until they get home, so parents often see the full picture when staff don't Parents aren't trying to be difficult. They're trying to stop the placement they fought for from breaking down Placement breakdown is rarely sudden. It usually follows weeks, months or years of anxiety, broken trust and missed opportunities What Schools Can Do When a Placement Is at Risk Acknowledge the concern quickly Believe the parent Speak to the child in a way they can manage Give a clear plan and follow up when promised Avoid making promises they can't keep Repair broken trust directly Review things in days or weeks, not months Understand that attendance problems are often a sign of distress, not defiance Mentioned in This Episode Education, Health and Care Plans (EHCPs) The National Autistic Society's EarlyBird programme Connect with The Autism Mums Website: https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

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So, Now What? Life After Your Child's Autism or ADHD Diagnosis with Greer Jones

Greer Jones, host of The Unfinished Idea podcast is back on the show. Since we last spoke she's launched the Beautifully Wired Summit, a free three-day online event for mums raising girls with ADHD and autism, and her first book, So, Now What? is out in November. We talk about: The moment Greer realised she had ADHD herself Why she wrote her book and decided to run a summit And the benefits of breathwork If you're at the start of this journey and feeling completely on your own, this one's for you. About Greer Jones Greer Jones is a speaker, writer and podcast host who is passionate about building understanding and connection in the neurodiverse world. As a mum raising an autistic and ADHD child, and part of a neurodivergent couple herself, she brings honesty, empathy and lived experience to her work. She is the creator of The Unfinished Idea podcast and online community, where she offers encouragement, practical tools and a reminder that no one has to walk this journey alone. Her story has been featured in podcasts, conferences and publications, inspiring families to embrace their unique path with hope and courage. Key Takeaways Girls and women with ADHD and autism are still being missed, and many mums only recognise their own neurodivergence after their child is diagnosed. A diagnosis can bring relief as well as questions. For Greer, it was proof she wasn't "crazy", just wired differently. Getting one answer about your child often leaves you with a hundred more questions. A broad overview can help before you go deep on any one topic. "They're having a hard time, they're not trying to give me a hard time" helps parents respond rather than react during meltdowns. Deep pressure, like a firm squeeze, can help some children regulate during a meltdown. Breathwork is free, always available and backed by science on calming the nervous system. Support packages often focus on the child and forget the parent. Mums need to be in the equation too. Isolation is one of the hardest parts of raising a neurodivergent child, and community is what brings the light back in. Celebrating wins, big or small, matters for children and parents alike. Mentioned in this episode The Beautifully Wired Summit (5 to 7 October), a free three-day online summit for mums raising girls with ADHD and autism So, Now What? by Greer Jones, out 11 November It All Makes Sense Now by Meredith Carder @ReWildBreathwork, the breathwork account Greer mentions learning from Greer's first episode with us: Essential Advocacy Tips for Parents of Neurodivergent Children (Episode 31) Connect with Greer Jones Website: theunfinishedidea.com Instagram: @theunfinishedidea Podcast: Neurodivergent Conversations, available on all podcast platforms Connect with The Autism Mums Website: theautismmums.com Instagram: @autismmumspodcast Facebook: @autismmumspodcast TikTok: @autismmumspodcast

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Why School Isn't Working for Autistic Children with Pete Wharmby

In this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're joined by autistic author, speaker and former teacher Pete Wharmby. We first saw Pete speak at the SEND protest in London, and we knew straight away we wanted him on the show. Pete's latest book, Different Minds: How We Can Help Our Autistic School Children Thrive, looks at what school is really like for autistic children, and why so many of them are struggling. Drawing on his years in the classroom, his own school days and his experience as a parent of an autistic daughter, Pete talks about the inflexibility of mainstream school, from strict uniform rules to stationery checks, and why the problem lies with the system rather than with our children. We also talk about masking, the signs that a child may be holding it together at school and paying for it at home, how masking can tip into burnout, and how Pete recognises burnout in himself as an adult. Pete shares his thoughts on lunchtimes and break times, why lockdown "broke the spell" of school for so many families, and the one idea he'd love every teacher to understand: the double empathy problem. About Pete Wharmby Pete Wharmby is an autistic author and speaker who was diagnosed as autistic at 34, and later with ADHD. He spent many years working as a teacher before turning his focus to autism and neurodiversity awareness and acceptance, after being shocked by the statistics around depression, anxiety and life expectancy for autistic people. Pete now delivers talks, keynotes and training for schools, workplaces and organisations across education, health and justice. He is the author of What I Want to Talk About, Untypical and his latest book, Different Minds. He's also a parent to an autistic daughter. Key Takeaways Autistic children's struggles at school are not their fault, and school refusal is far more likely the less flexible the school environment is. Mainstream school has become more rigid over the last 15 years, at the same time as awareness of neurodivergence has grown, creating a real clash for families. Autistic children need flexibility around uniform, lunchtimes, homework and timetables, because every child's needs are different. Meltdowns after school rarely come from nowhere; they're often the result of a day full of sensory and social stress. Masking at school often carries on at home, so look for exhaustion, irritability, "blank positivity" about the day and a lack of detail. Encouraging a child to stop masking completely at school can put them at risk, so the priority is giving them real downtime at home. Masking can eventually give way to burnout, which can then lead to depression if it isn't recognised and supported. Break times and lunchtimes are unstructured and can be the hardest part of the day for some autistic children. Talking openly with children about autism helps them understand their own brains and make their own choices, such as when to socialise and when to rest. For many autistic children, lockdown showed that school as we know it isn't inevitable, and many families have since chosen home education. A child's enthusiasm for school is fragile, and once broken it is very hard to rebuild. Autistic children respond to teachers who show humanity and can admit when they've got something wrong. The double empathy problem means autistic and non-autistic people can misunderstand each other, and teachers, as the adults, should help bridge that gap. A lack of eye contact or a direct way of speaking is not rudeness; it's often simply an autistic way of communicating. Mentioned in This Episode Different Minds: How We Can Help Our Autistic Schoolchildren Thrive by Pete Wharmby Pete's other books, What I Want to Talk About and Untypical Cothú parent training programme with AUsome Training Connect with Pete Wharmby Website: https://petewharmby.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pete_wharmby_books Facebook: Pete Wharmby - Autistic Author LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pete-wharmby-58a2131b2 Connect with The Autism Mums Website: https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

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When School Feels Unsafe: Emotionally Based School Avoidance in Autistic Children

In this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're talking about EBSA: emotionally based school avoidance, sometimes called school distress or school anxiety. It's a term most parents only come across once things are already really difficult, when mornings have become impossible, your child is melting down before school, or they're holding it together in the classroom and falling apart the moment they get home. We share our own experiences of watching our children struggle to go in, the things we tried that didn't work (including being told, more than once, that maybe we were the problem), and what we've learned about supporting a child through it without forcing them over the threshold. We talk about why "school refusal" is the wrong way to think about it, what's really going on underneath, how to spot the signs before things reach crisis point, and what to do when mainstream school just isn't the right fit anymore. If you're in the middle of that fog right now, wondering whether this is normal, whether you should be pushing them to go in, or whether you're somehow making it worse, this episode is for you. Key Takeaways EBSA stands for emotionally based school avoidance, also known as school distress or school anxiety It's "can't", not "won't": a child avoiding school is communicating that something feels unsafe, not being defiant Warning signs include meltdowns, shutdowns, physical complaints like headaches or stomach aches, and gradually increasing absences Many autistic children mask at school and hold it together, then collapse once they're home, so "they seem fine once they're through the door" doesn't tell the full story School can overwhelm autistic children through sensory overload, unpredictable transitions, and constant social demands Physically pushing a reluctant child through the school gates can get them through the door, but it can damage trust without solving what's actually going on Keeping a detailed log of patterns, symptoms and school communication helps build the evidence families need for meetings and referrals Working with the school on genuine adjustments, and asking what's making school hard rather than how to get attendance up, changes the whole conversation When mainstream school isn't right, alternatives like specialist provision, home education, online provision or EOTAS can be legitimate paths forward Mentioned in This Episode National Autistic Society IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice) Not Fine in School PDA Society Neuroinclusive Education Network (formerly the Autism Education Trust) YoungMinds Cerebra Your local SENDIASS service and local parent carer forum (search "SENDIASS" or "parent carer forum" plus your council area to find yours)

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Settling in to School

Another school year, another round of settling in, and if the excitement wore off around day two, you are not alone. In this episode we get honest about what settling in to school really looks like for autistic children and their parents. Not the picture-book version, where everyone skips happily through the gates, but the version most of us actually live: the good days, the wobbly days, and the moments when the school says everything's fine and then your child falls apart the second they're back in the car. We talk about masking, restraint collapse, and why settling in isn't a straight line, a supply teacher or a change to the timetable can undo weeks of progress. We also share the practical things that have helped in our own homes, from visual timetables and countdown timers to low-demand afternoons and communication books with school, plus how to know when it's time to ask for more support. Key Takeaways Settling in rarely looks like the picture-book version, and that's normal, not a sign you're doing something wrong Settling can go backwards, a supply teacher, a change to the timetable, or a break like Christmas can undo weeks of progress A school saying "they're fine" doesn't cancel out what you see at home, restraint collapse is real and often shows up with the people your child feels safest with Visual supports, like timetables and countdown timers, remove uncertainty and can calm anxiety even for children who read and talk well Low-demand afternoons matter more than a big welcome-home activity, most children just need space to decompress after school Keeping a written record of what you're seeing, however small it feels at the time, builds the evidence you may need later for referrals or support If home behaviours aren't shifting despite the visual supports and low-demand time, it's worth raising it properly with the teacher and the SENCo together Don't forget your own wellbeing in all of this, you can't pour from an empty cup, and it's okay to lean on other parents going through the same thing Mentioned in This Episode Pete Wharmby's book, Different Minds: How we can help our autistic school children thrive Countdown/colour-change timers used for transitions Visual timetables and Velcro picture schedules Weighted blankets Nesti compression pod Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

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Growing up Autistic with Alex Richardson

In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome Alex Richardson, ambassador for the National Autistic Society. Biography Alex Richardson is an ambassador for the National Autistic Society, a role he has held since 2018. Diagnosed with autism at five, Alex has become a passionate voice for autism awareness, sharing his life online. Key Takeaways Alex's parents trusted he would get there 'in his own way and his own time', and he credits this approach for his confidence today When Alex first started going to watch the football his dad took him two hours early, to a quiet stand, to let the noise build up slowly around him, and now, years later, he no longer arrives early and doesn't sit in a quiet stand. College was a really positive experience for Alex because he was accepted as 'just Alex.' The shop Alex was too anxious to walk to as a child became his first part-time job Alex has experienced festivals and venues becoming more accessible. Sensory tents and quiet camping are increasingly available, and Alex's own feedback helped bring quiet camping to a major festival Mentioned in This Episode The National Autistic Society - https://www.autism.org.uk Alex's film, My Autism Journey - https://youtu.be/7QMi9lEySEk The sunflower lanyard scheme (Hidden Disabilities Sunflower) - https://hdsunflower.com Connect with Alex Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexrichardsonautism TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@alexrautism YouTube: https://youtube.com/@alexrichardsonautism Threads: https://www.threads.com/@alexrichardsonautism Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Substack - https://theautismmums.substack.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

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Back to School: Anxious, Relieved, or Both?

In this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're talking about the new school year and everything that comes with it — for our children and for us. We share where we both are right now: one of us with a youngest starting mainstream school for the very first time, the other with one child going back to specialist school for what could be a final year and another moving into an EOTAS package that nobody can yet describe. We talk honestly about the anxiety that starts building in mid-August, the dread of going back to the phone calls and the meetings, and the guilt that can come with feeling relieved that term is finally starting again. We also get practical. We cover uniform and sensory sensitivities, easing sleep and routine back into place, social stories and settling-in visits, what decompression can look like after school, and how to prepare for those first conversations with school. Whatever this time of year brings up for you, we hope this one helps you feel a little less alone. Key Takeaways Back to school can bring anxiety, dread, relief and guilt all at once, and every one of those feelings is valid Feeling relieved that term is starting again doesn't make you a bad parent — it means you're human The lack of routine and support over the holidays can be as hard on families as term time is For some children, losing routine affects their eating and sleeping, and getting back to school is exactly what they need Going back is rarely just going back — new classrooms, new teachers and new timetables all add to the load Sending timetables or changes home at the end of term can backfire if there's nobody available to talk them through Uniform can be a significant sensory barrier, and seamless socks, softer fabrics and cutting out labels can all help Wearing new uniform and shoes at home before term starts spreads the change out instead of landing it all on day one You can ask for reasonable adjustments to uniform if it's a genuine barrier to your child's education Shifting bedtimes gradually in the weeks before term makes the first morning less of a shock Social stories, settling-in visits and using the school site over the holidays can make a new school feel familiar Decompression after school matters, and it looks different for every child — movement and noise for some, quiet and solitude for others “How was your day?” can be too big a question, and smaller, specific ones asked at the right moment often work better Emailing school just before term starts can get meetings and support in place early, while staff are less stretched Preparing for school meetings with notes, logs and specific examples makes it much easier to be heard Leaving a meeting with clear next steps — who is doing what, by when, and when it will be reviewed — stops things drifting You are doing your best under very difficult circumstances Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

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The Summer series: Practical Ways to Help Your Autistic Child with Daily Life

We're re-releasing another episode from the archives this week where we talk about the practical ways we can help our autistic children with daily life. We’re sharing some of the things that have helped us make daily life a bit easier with our autistic children. From using timers and visual timetables to experimenting with tooth brushes and finding softer clothing. These are ideas that have worked for us, they might help you too, or simply offer reassurance that you’re not alone on this journey. Key Takeaways Timers and visual supports can help ease transitions by giving your child a sense of control and predictability. Choosing soft, seamless clothing may make a difference for children who find layers uncomfortable. Toothbrushing challenges might be eased by trying different tools like U-shaped or triple-angled toothbrushes. Flexibility is key - what works one day might not work the next, and that’s okay. Planning days out in advance with visual itineraries can reduce anxiety about what's coming next. Noise sensitivity might be supported by using ear defenders, earbuds, or listening to favourite music. Strong smells can sometimes be managed with things like balaclavas or carrying scents like orange oil to mask overwhelming smells. Having a sensory kit (with familiar snacks, toys, and calming tools) may offer comfort when you're out and about. Mentioned in This Episode Here are some of the tools and resources discussed in this episode: Visual timers Laminated visual timetables Seamless/sensory-friendly clothing U-shaped toothbrush and triple-angled toothbrush Ear defenders Bach's Rescue Remedy Orange Essential Oil Tiger balm The Early Birds course by the National Autistic Society Stretchy resistance bands for calming sensory feedback Connect with The Autism Mums https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on Facebook @theautismmums

The Summer Series: Getting an EHCP

In the next of our Summer Series of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're returning to our episode where we're talking about the journey to getting an EHCP - what it is, why it matters, and what the process looked like for our families. We’ll share the lessons we learned along the way with the hope that it helps you navigate the process and feel a little more prepared. Key Takeaways An EHCP can provide vital, legally binding support You don't need a formal diagnosis to apply for an EHCP Schools may not always initiate an EHCP request. If they don't parents can. Timelines and deadlines are crucial - keep a track of key dates. Support groups, SENDIASS and organisations like IPSEA can provide guidance and practical help. The right provision can make a huge difference to your child's wellbeing. Mentioned in This Episode SENDIASS (Special Educational Needs and Disability Information Advice and Support Services) IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice) — ipsea.org.uk EarlyBird course (National Autistic Society support programme for parents) Connect with The Autism Mums https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

The Summer Series: Toothbrushing Tips for Autistic Children

In the next of our Summer Series of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're returning to our episode where we're tackling a small daily chore that can become a huge battleground — teeth, toothpaste and trips to the dentist. Using our own stories, we explore why toothbrushing can be so difficult for autistic children: the sensory overload, the disruption of routine, strong reactions to flavors and textures, and how a wobbly tooth or a filling can turn a familiar ritual upside down. Key Takeaways Sensory and routine issues can be at the root of toothbrushing struggles — a wobbly tooth, change in texture, or a disrupted order of brushing can cause significant anxiety. We've found it helpful to experiment with alternative toothbrushes (U‑shaped, three‑sided, or electric brushes) and different toothpaste flavours. Small, staged steps and backward chaining (parent starts, child finishes) can rebuild confidence when a routine is interrupted; it may be necessary to take steps back to move forwards. Dental professionals who slow down, explain steps, and ask permission can make appointments far less traumatic — specialist services or hospital dentists may be necessary and very helpful. Mentioned in This Episode Dr Barman Toothbrushes U-Shaped Toothbrushes Hi-Smile Toothpastes Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

The Summer Series: Why Friendships Change When Raising an Autistic Child

In the next of our Summer Series of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're returning to our episode where we're talking about how relationships can shift when your family begins navigating autism, even before a diagnosis is confirmed. As priorities change and the reality of advocating for your child sets in, friendships can evolve, strengthen, or sometimes drift apart. Key Takeaways Raising an autistic child can reshape your priorities and change the person you become. How advocacy for your child can challenge social expectations and sometimes make others uncomfortable. Friendships may evolve as your life begins to revolve around meeting your child’s needs. Connecting with other parents of neurodivergent children can create powerful understanding and support. Surrounding yourself with compassionate, supportive people can make the journey feel less isolating. Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

The Summer Series: Autistic Burnout in Children

In the next of our Summer Series of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're returning to our episode where we're talking about autistic burnout. We share our personal experiences of supporting our children through burnout, from shutdowns and sensory overwhelm to emotional exhaustion and withdrawal. We also open up about how life events (including unexpected changes and disruptions to routine) can tip the balance and lead to burnout. We explore what autistic burnout can look like in children, what can cause it, and most importantly what can help. Key Takeaways How autistic burnout can present Increased meltdowns, shutdowns, or physical complaints can be signs your child is overwhelmed and exhausted Sensory sensitivities can intensify during burnout, making everyday things feel unbearable Changes to routine, environment, or support systems can trigger or worsen burnout Balancing energy-draining and energy-giving activities can support recovery Gentle, low-pressure outings (like time in nature) can help rebuild energy over time Reducing demands and allowing flexibility can support your child’s nervous system Burnout is usually temporary, and with the right support, children can recover and feel like themselves again Mentioned in This Episode Understanding Autistic Burnout Autistic burnout: When navigating a neurotypical world becomes too much Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

The Summer Series: Travelling with Autistic Children

In the first of our Summer Series of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're returning to our episode where we're talking about travelling with autistic children. Whether it's a one night stay, a weekend with grandparents, or a long holiday. Trips that other families might find routine can involve a huge amount of planning, uncertainty, and sensory challenges - different beds and pillows, unfamiliar food, noisy or crowded spaces, and even hidden safety hazards in accommodation. We're sharing our experiences - what helped, what didn't, and our suggestions of what might help you too. Key Takeaways Small preparations can help. Consider doing short practice stays before a long trip and build up time away gradually if that feels manageable for your family. Bring familiar comforts: favourite pillows, blankets, trusted foods, and familiar toiletries (toothpaste, shampoo) can reduce sensory upset and make sleep and routines easier. Pack a comfort/essentials bag: include fidget toys, calming smells, noise-reducing items, a spare set of safe foods, charging cables and any sensory supports you rely on. Make plans but stay flexible: a loose “what if” plan for meltdowns, exits or separation can help you respond quickly, but be ready to adjust if things change. Think about personal space: shared rooms or cabins can reduce opportunities to retreat. Consider quieter accommodation options, balconies or separate rooms where possible. Check provider policies in advance. Ask hotels, cruise lines or attractions about quieter rooms, room layouts, food policies and any autism-friendly services they offer. Use airport and venue support. Request assistance like fast-track check-in, quiet lounges or sensory rooms where available to reduce waiting and crowd stress. Balance siblings’ needs. Plan some separate activities or downtime so children with different needs can recharge without upsetting each other. Learn from each trip. Make brief notes about what worked and what didn’t so your next trip can be easier to plan. Be kind to yourselves! Not every holiday will go perfectly. Celebrate small wins and prioritise calm and safety over trying to “do it all.” Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

When the Whistleblower Spoke: Why Parents Weren’t Surprised

When ITV News aired a story featuring an anonymous whistleblower who had worked inside a council SEND department, the reaction across the SEND community was striking. It wasn’t shock. It was recognition. In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we reflect on the allegations raised in the report, including claims of deliberate delay tactics, avoidance of written records, and communication strategies that left families feeling ignored or pushed aside. We also share our own lived experiences navigating the system: Unanswered emails and calls Out‑of‑office responses at critical moments Meetings missed, placements delayed Being told consultation had happened when it hadn’t Feeling dismissed, emotional, or labelled “difficult” We explore why so many families feel they are only taken seriously when they escalate to tribunal and what it does to parents when exhaustion feels like part of the process. This conversation is not about attacking individuals. It is about acknowledging patterns that many families describe, discussing the emotional impact of prolonged delays, and asking difficult but necessary questions about accountability and reform. If the whistleblower story resonated with you, this episode creates space to process it together. You were not imagining it. You were not being “difficult.” And you are not alone. Key Takeaways Many SEND parents felt the whistleblower story confirmed what they had already experienced. Ongoing delays and lack of communication can leave families feeling dismissed and exhausted. With most tribunal appeals decided in families’ favour, many parents feel escalation is often necessary to be heard. Keeping clear written records and requesting decisions in writing is essential for protecting yourself. While the process can feel overwhelming, knowing your rights and seeking support can shift the balance. Mentioned in this episode ITV News report discussed in this episode: https://www.itv.com/news/2026-07-03/council-staff-told-to-delay-access-to-send-support-whistleblower-claims SEND Tribunal Statistics (Ministry of Justice): https://www.gov.uk/government/collections/tribunals-statistics IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice): https://www.ipsea.org.uk SENDIASS (Special Educational Needs & Disability Information, Advice & Support Services): https://councilfordisabledchildren.org.uk/what-we-do-0/networks/information-advice-and-support-services-network/find-your-local-ias-service Special Needs Jungle coverage of the story: https://www.specialneedsjungle.com Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

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Why 'Self-Care' Doesn't Work for Autism Parents, And What Does with Ricky Du Plessis

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome SEND dad and advocate, Ricky Du Plessis, to the show. Biography Ricky Du Plessis is a SEND dad, advocate and podcast host on a mission to support the parents and professionals who care for children with special needs in overcoming the associated chronic stress. His son has level-3 autism and an ongoing ARFID assessment, so he lives the chronic stress he talks about. Unusually, Ricky was deep into metabolic health and the link between metabolic health and our mental resilience, before his son was born and his needs emerged, and that head start is genuinely what has stopped Ricky from burning out under the chronic stress load. He now writes, speaks and hosts a podcast making the case that caring for the caregiver is the most overlooked part of SEND support, but one every family deserves. Key Takeaways The caregiver is the primary intervention – if the parent or carer's wellbeing is compromised, everything that flows to the child is compromised too. The hardware/software analogy – your mind (software) runs on your body (hardware), so physical health directly shapes mental resilience and capacity to cope. Metabolic health is central – nutrition, sleep, light and movement all feed into your metabolic health, which underpins both mental and physical wellbeing. Focus on nourishment, not calories – prioritise essential, bioavailable nutrients (e.g. retinol from liver vs beta-carotene from carrots) rather than counting calories. Protect your sleep hygiene – wind down screens before bed, dim the lights, and avoid caffeine after midday to let sleep pressure (adenosine) build properly. Prioritise everyday movement (NEAT) over just gym sessions – being less sedentary throughout the day matters more than a single workout. Cut back on alcohol – even a small amount interferes with sleep quality. Find your "logical entry gateway" – pick one area (nutrition, movement or sleep) that resonates with you and aim to improve it a little each day rather than seeking perfection. Looking after yourself isn't vanity – as the caregiver, your wellbeing is foundational to your capacity to support your child, especially during critical developmental windows. Mentioned in This Episode Brain Energy by Dr. Chris Palmer Connect with Ricky Learn more about Ricky's guidance and framework in his free substack https://substack.com/@rickyduplessis Website - https://www.rickyduplessis.co.uk/ LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/ricky-du-plessis/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/ricky.du.plessis.85 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ricky_duplessis/ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ricky_duplessis Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Is School the Only Option? Understanding EOTAS for SEND Families with Lauren Vermeulen

If your child is struggling to attend school, you might be wondering what the options are. In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome back Lauren Vermeulen from Victory-us to talk about EOTAS (Education Otherwise Than At or In School). Biography Lauren is the founder of Victory-us, an independent SEND Teacher - supporting, empowering and providing EOTAS to send children. Lauren has taught in a variety of schools and SEND provisions, leading emotional regulation, behaviour support trainings and PSHE. She has expertise in supporting children with bespoke and tailored learning and mental health support, to ensure children flourish on education otherwise than at school. She now supports children their families who can’t access school and need tailored support. Key Takeaways EOTAS stands for Education Otherwise Than At or In School. It is specifically for children who hold an EHCP - this is what sets it apart from elective home education. When a child has an EHCP and cannot be educated in a school setting, the responsibility for funding and meeting that child's needs sits with the local authority, not the parent. EOTAS is not the same as home education. If your child has an EHCP and you are educating them at home, the local authority still has a legal duty of care - and that includes funding. The LA must ensure all of Section F is being met. Getting EOTAS agreed can be a lengthy process. Local authorities are required to work through a list of provisions under Section 61 before EOTAS can be agreed - from mainstream, to resource bases, to specialist and independent schools, to online provision. This is why having a well-written EHCP that accurately reflects your child's needs is so important from the start. EOTAS is not just a tutor. A proper EOTAS package should address all of Section F - educational, health, and care needs. Emotional regulation, OT, SALT, therapy, and community access can all be part of the package, not just academic learning. Positive evidence matters. When building a case for EOTAS, it's not just about what isn't working - it's about evidencing what does. Is your child engaging with an online platform? A tutor? An activity based on their special interest? All of this counts. Section 19 is a different but related route. If your child cannot attend school for health reasons (including emotional school-based avoidance), and has had 15 or more consecutive days out of school, Section 19 may apply - even without an EHCP. It's intended to be temporary, but it can be a valuable window to collect evidence of what works. The goal of EOTAS is holistic, not just academic. Lauren challenges the idea that education means the national curriculum. Life skills, emotional regulation, self-advocacy, sensory needs, and community access are all valid - and essential - parts of a child's education. EOTAS can and should be reviewed regularly. Families should expect six-weekly check-ins with the LA, as well as annual review. If the LA identifies a school placement, parents are not obligated to accept it - as long as they can evidence why it would be less suitable than the current provision. You don't have to figure out the package alone. Lauren works with families to design bespoke EOTAS packages built around the child's interests, needs, and outcomes - starting with what the child loves and working backwards from there. Mentioned in This Episode MindJam — Emotional and SEN support for young people through gaming, game design and digital skills Kiwi STEM Boxes — subscription-based learning activity boxes referenced in the context of EOTAS packages Lisa Lloyd - ASD with a G&T Connect with Lauren Book a free 30 minute call with Lauren via the Calendly link on the bottom right-hand side of her website. Website: www.victory-us.co.uk Instagram: @victoryus.lv Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

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Your Child's EHCP Isn't Being Followed - Here's What to Do with Lauren Vermeulen

If you've ever felt like your child's Education, Health and Care Plan isn't being properly implemented this episode is for you. In this episode, we're joined by specialist SEND teacher and advocate Lauren Vermeulen, founder of Victory-Us, to break down exactly what parents can do when a school isn't following an EHCP. Biography Lauren is the founder of Victory-us, an independent SEND Teacher - supporting, empowering and providing EOTAS to send children. Lauren has taught in a variety of schools and SEND provisions, leading emotional regulation, behaviour support trainings and PSHE. She has expertise in supporting children with bespoke and tailored learning and mental health support, to ensure children flourish on education otherwise than at school. She now supports children their families who can’t access school and need tailored support. Key Takeaways An EHCP is a legal document - the provision written into Section F must be delivered by the school If you suspect the EHCP isn't being followed, your first step is to request a meeting with the SENCo and highlight specifically what is missing from Section F Schools receive funding to implement the EHCP - if they say they don't have the resources, a cost of provision can be requested If the issue isn't resolved, you can request an emergency annual review and involve the Local Authority Section E (outcomes) should be reviewed at every annual review and should directly link to the provision in Section F - if they don't reflect your child's current needs, you can request amendments An EHCP covers education, health, and care - if sensory needs, emotional regulation, or health provisions are being missed, that matters, even if your child appears to be meeting academic targets You don't need to be an expert to advocate - you know your child best, and it is not your responsibility to spell out how provision should be delivered, that's the school's job Free support is available via organisations like IPSEA if you need help navigating the process Mentioned in This Episode IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice) — free legal advice for families: www.ipsea.org.uk Connect with Lauren Book a free 30 minute call with Lauren via the Calendly link on the bottom right-hand side of her website. Website: www.victory-us.co.uk Instagram: @victoryus.lv Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

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