The Autism Mums Podcast

Settling in to School

Another school year, another round of settling in, and if the excitement wore off around day two, you are not alone. In this episode we get honest about what settling in to school really looks like for autistic children and their parents. Not the picture-book version, where everyone skips happily through the gates, but the version most of us actually live: the good days, the wobbly days, and the moments when the school says everything's fine and then your child falls apart the second they're back in the car. We talk about masking, restraint collapse, and why settling in isn't a straight line, a supply teacher or a change to the timetable can undo weeks of progress. We also share the practical things that have helped in our own homes, from visual timetables and countdown timers to low-demand afternoons and communication books with school, plus how to know when it's time to ask for more support. Key Takeaways Settling in rarely looks like the picture-book version, and that's normal, not a sign you're doing something wrong Settling can go backwards, a supply teacher, a change to the timetable, or a break like Christmas can undo weeks of progress A school saying "they're fine" doesn't cancel out what you see at home, restraint collapse is real and often shows up with the people your child feels safest with Visual supports, like timetables and countdown timers, remove uncertainty and can calm anxiety even for children who read and talk well Low-demand afternoons matter more than a big welcome-home activity, most children just need space to decompress after school Keeping a written record of what you're seeing, however small it feels at the time, builds the evidence you may need later for referrals or support If home behaviours aren't shifting despite the visual supports and low-demand time, it's worth raising it properly with the teacher and the SENCo together Don't forget your own wellbeing in all of this, you can't pour from an empty cup, and it's okay to lean on other parents going through the same thing Mentioned in This Episode Pete Wharmby's book, Different Minds: How we can help our autistic school children thrive Countdown/colour-change timers used for transitions Visual timetables and Velcro picture schedules Weighted blankets Nesti compression pod Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

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Growing up Autistic with Alex Richardson

In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome Alex Richardson, ambassador for the National Autistic Society. Biography Alex Richardson is an ambassador for the National Autistic Society, a role he has held since 2018. Diagnosed with autism at five, Alex has become a passionate voice for autism awareness, sharing his life online. Key Takeaways Alex's parents trusted he would get there 'in his own way and his own time', and he credits this approach for his confidence today When Alex first started going to watch the football his dad took him two hours early, to a quiet stand, to let the noise build up slowly around him, and now, years later, he no longer arrives early and doesn't sit in a quiet stand. College was a really positive experience for Alex because he was accepted as 'just Alex.' The shop Alex was too anxious to walk to as a child became his first part-time job Alex has experienced festivals and venues becoming more accessible. Sensory tents and quiet camping are increasingly available, and Alex's own feedback helped bring quiet camping to a major festival Mentioned in This Episode The National Autistic Society - https://www.autism.org.uk Alex's film, My Autism Journey - https://youtu.be/7QMi9lEySEk The sunflower lanyard scheme (Hidden Disabilities Sunflower) - https://hdsunflower.com Connect with Alex Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexrichardsonautism TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@alexrautism YouTube: https://youtube.com/@alexrichardsonautism Threads: https://www.threads.com/@alexrichardsonautism Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Substack - https://theautismmums.substack.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

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Back to School: Anxious, Relieved, or Both?

In this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're talking about the new school year and everything that comes with it — for our children and for us. We share where we both are right now: one of us with a youngest starting mainstream school for the very first time, the other with one child going back to specialist school for what could be a final year and another moving into an EOTAS package that nobody can yet describe. We talk honestly about the anxiety that starts building in mid-August, the dread of going back to the phone calls and the meetings, and the guilt that can come with feeling relieved that term is finally starting again. We also get practical. We cover uniform and sensory sensitivities, easing sleep and routine back into place, social stories and settling-in visits, what decompression can look like after school, and how to prepare for those first conversations with school. Whatever this time of year brings up for you, we hope this one helps you feel a little less alone. Key Takeaways Back to school can bring anxiety, dread, relief and guilt all at once, and every one of those feelings is valid Feeling relieved that term is starting again doesn't make you a bad parent — it means you're human The lack of routine and support over the holidays can be as hard on families as term time is For some children, losing routine affects their eating and sleeping, and getting back to school is exactly what they need Going back is rarely just going back — new classrooms, new teachers and new timetables all add to the load Sending timetables or changes home at the end of term can backfire if there's nobody available to talk them through Uniform can be a significant sensory barrier, and seamless socks, softer fabrics and cutting out labels can all help Wearing new uniform and shoes at home before term starts spreads the change out instead of landing it all on day one You can ask for reasonable adjustments to uniform if it's a genuine barrier to your child's education Shifting bedtimes gradually in the weeks before term makes the first morning less of a shock Social stories, settling-in visits and using the school site over the holidays can make a new school feel familiar Decompression after school matters, and it looks different for every child — movement and noise for some, quiet and solitude for others “How was your day?” can be too big a question, and smaller, specific ones asked at the right moment often work better Emailing school just before term starts can get meetings and support in place early, while staff are less stretched Preparing for school meetings with notes, logs and specific examples makes it much easier to be heard Leaving a meeting with clear next steps — who is doing what, by when, and when it will be reviewed — stops things drifting You are doing your best under very difficult circumstances Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

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The Summer series: Practical Ways to Help Your Autistic Child with Daily Life

We're re-releasing another episode from the archives this week where we talk about the practical ways we can help our autistic children with daily life. We’re sharing some of the things that have helped us make daily life a bit easier with our autistic children. From using timers and visual timetables to experimenting with tooth brushes and finding softer clothing. These are ideas that have worked for us, they might help you too, or simply offer reassurance that you’re not alone on this journey. Key Takeaways Timers and visual supports can help ease transitions by giving your child a sense of control and predictability. Choosing soft, seamless clothing may make a difference for children who find layers uncomfortable. Toothbrushing challenges might be eased by trying different tools like U-shaped or triple-angled toothbrushes. Flexibility is key - what works one day might not work the next, and that’s okay. Planning days out in advance with visual itineraries can reduce anxiety about what's coming next. Noise sensitivity might be supported by using ear defenders, earbuds, or listening to favourite music. Strong smells can sometimes be managed with things like balaclavas or carrying scents like orange oil to mask overwhelming smells. Having a sensory kit (with familiar snacks, toys, and calming tools) may offer comfort when you're out and about. Mentioned in This Episode Here are some of the tools and resources discussed in this episode: Visual timers Laminated visual timetables Seamless/sensory-friendly clothing U-shaped toothbrush and triple-angled toothbrush Ear defenders Bach's Rescue Remedy Orange Essential Oil Tiger balm The Early Birds course by the National Autistic Society Stretchy resistance bands for calming sensory feedback Connect with The Autism Mums https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on Facebook @theautismmums

The Summer Series: Getting an EHCP

In the next of our Summer Series of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're returning to our episode where we're talking about the journey to getting an EHCP - what it is, why it matters, and what the process looked like for our families. We’ll share the lessons we learned along the way with the hope that it helps you navigate the process and feel a little more prepared. Key Takeaways An EHCP can provide vital, legally binding support You don't need a formal diagnosis to apply for an EHCP Schools may not always initiate an EHCP request. If they don't parents can. Timelines and deadlines are crucial - keep a track of key dates. Support groups, SENDIASS and organisations like IPSEA can provide guidance and practical help. The right provision can make a huge difference to your child's wellbeing. Mentioned in This Episode SENDIASS (Special Educational Needs and Disability Information Advice and Support Services) IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice) — ipsea.org.uk EarlyBird course (National Autistic Society support programme for parents) Connect with The Autism Mums https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

The Summer Series: Toothbrushing Tips for Autistic Children

In the next of our Summer Series of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're returning to our episode where we're tackling a small daily chore that can become a huge battleground — teeth, toothpaste and trips to the dentist. Using our own stories, we explore why toothbrushing can be so difficult for autistic children: the sensory overload, the disruption of routine, strong reactions to flavors and textures, and how a wobbly tooth or a filling can turn a familiar ritual upside down. Key Takeaways Sensory and routine issues can be at the root of toothbrushing struggles — a wobbly tooth, change in texture, or a disrupted order of brushing can cause significant anxiety. We've found it helpful to experiment with alternative toothbrushes (U‑shaped, three‑sided, or electric brushes) and different toothpaste flavours. Small, staged steps and backward chaining (parent starts, child finishes) can rebuild confidence when a routine is interrupted; it may be necessary to take steps back to move forwards. Dental professionals who slow down, explain steps, and ask permission can make appointments far less traumatic — specialist services or hospital dentists may be necessary and very helpful. Mentioned in This Episode Dr Barman Toothbrushes U-Shaped Toothbrushes Hi-Smile Toothpastes Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

The Summer Series: Why Friendships Change When Raising an Autistic Child

In the next of our Summer Series of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're returning to our episode where we're talking about how relationships can shift when your family begins navigating autism, even before a diagnosis is confirmed. As priorities change and the reality of advocating for your child sets in, friendships can evolve, strengthen, or sometimes drift apart. Key Takeaways Raising an autistic child can reshape your priorities and change the person you become. How advocacy for your child can challenge social expectations and sometimes make others uncomfortable. Friendships may evolve as your life begins to revolve around meeting your child’s needs. Connecting with other parents of neurodivergent children can create powerful understanding and support. Surrounding yourself with compassionate, supportive people can make the journey feel less isolating. Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

The Summer Series: Autistic Burnout in Children

In the next of our Summer Series of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're returning to our episode where we're talking about autistic burnout. We share our personal experiences of supporting our children through burnout, from shutdowns and sensory overwhelm to emotional exhaustion and withdrawal. We also open up about how life events (including unexpected changes and disruptions to routine) can tip the balance and lead to burnout. We explore what autistic burnout can look like in children, what can cause it, and most importantly what can help. Key Takeaways How autistic burnout can present Increased meltdowns, shutdowns, or physical complaints can be signs your child is overwhelmed and exhausted Sensory sensitivities can intensify during burnout, making everyday things feel unbearable Changes to routine, environment, or support systems can trigger or worsen burnout Balancing energy-draining and energy-giving activities can support recovery Gentle, low-pressure outings (like time in nature) can help rebuild energy over time Reducing demands and allowing flexibility can support your child’s nervous system Burnout is usually temporary, and with the right support, children can recover and feel like themselves again Mentioned in This Episode Understanding Autistic Burnout Autistic burnout: When navigating a neurotypical world becomes too much Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

The Summer Series: Travelling with Autistic Children

In the first of our Summer Series of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're returning to our episode where we're talking about travelling with autistic children. Whether it's a one night stay, a weekend with grandparents, or a long holiday. Trips that other families might find routine can involve a huge amount of planning, uncertainty, and sensory challenges - different beds and pillows, unfamiliar food, noisy or crowded spaces, and even hidden safety hazards in accommodation. We're sharing our experiences - what helped, what didn't, and our suggestions of what might help you too. Key Takeaways Small preparations can help. Consider doing short practice stays before a long trip and build up time away gradually if that feels manageable for your family. Bring familiar comforts: favourite pillows, blankets, trusted foods, and familiar toiletries (toothpaste, shampoo) can reduce sensory upset and make sleep and routines easier. Pack a comfort/essentials bag: include fidget toys, calming smells, noise-reducing items, a spare set of safe foods, charging cables and any sensory supports you rely on. Make plans but stay flexible: a loose “what if” plan for meltdowns, exits or separation can help you respond quickly, but be ready to adjust if things change. Think about personal space: shared rooms or cabins can reduce opportunities to retreat. Consider quieter accommodation options, balconies or separate rooms where possible. Check provider policies in advance. Ask hotels, cruise lines or attractions about quieter rooms, room layouts, food policies and any autism-friendly services they offer. Use airport and venue support. Request assistance like fast-track check-in, quiet lounges or sensory rooms where available to reduce waiting and crowd stress. Balance siblings’ needs. Plan some separate activities or downtime so children with different needs can recharge without upsetting each other. Learn from each trip. Make brief notes about what worked and what didn’t so your next trip can be easier to plan. Be kind to yourselves! Not every holiday will go perfectly. Celebrate small wins and prioritise calm and safety over trying to “do it all.” Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

When the Whistleblower Spoke: Why Parents Weren’t Surprised

When ITV News aired a story featuring an anonymous whistleblower who had worked inside a council SEND department, the reaction across the SEND community was striking. It wasn’t shock. It was recognition. In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we reflect on the allegations raised in the report, including claims of deliberate delay tactics, avoidance of written records, and communication strategies that left families feeling ignored or pushed aside. We also share our own lived experiences navigating the system: Unanswered emails and calls Out‑of‑office responses at critical moments Meetings missed, placements delayed Being told consultation had happened when it hadn’t Feeling dismissed, emotional, or labelled “difficult” We explore why so many families feel they are only taken seriously when they escalate to tribunal and what it does to parents when exhaustion feels like part of the process. This conversation is not about attacking individuals. It is about acknowledging patterns that many families describe, discussing the emotional impact of prolonged delays, and asking difficult but necessary questions about accountability and reform. If the whistleblower story resonated with you, this episode creates space to process it together. You were not imagining it. You were not being “difficult.” And you are not alone. Key Takeaways Many SEND parents felt the whistleblower story confirmed what they had already experienced. Ongoing delays and lack of communication can leave families feeling dismissed and exhausted. With most tribunal appeals decided in families’ favour, many parents feel escalation is often necessary to be heard. Keeping clear written records and requesting decisions in writing is essential for protecting yourself. While the process can feel overwhelming, knowing your rights and seeking support can shift the balance. Mentioned in this episode ITV News report discussed in this episode: https://www.itv.com/news/2026-07-03/council-staff-told-to-delay-access-to-send-support-whistleblower-claims SEND Tribunal Statistics (Ministry of Justice): https://www.gov.uk/government/collections/tribunals-statistics IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice): https://www.ipsea.org.uk SENDIASS (Special Educational Needs & Disability Information, Advice & Support Services): https://councilfordisabledchildren.org.uk/what-we-do-0/networks/information-advice-and-support-services-network/find-your-local-ias-service Special Needs Jungle coverage of the story: https://www.specialneedsjungle.com Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

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Why 'Self-Care' Doesn't Work for Autism Parents, And What Does with Ricky Du Plessis

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome SEND dad and advocate, Ricky Du Plessis, to the show. Biography Ricky Du Plessis is a SEND dad, advocate and podcast host on a mission to support the parents and professionals who care for children with special needs in overcoming the associated chronic stress. His son has level-3 autism and an ongoing ARFID assessment, so he lives the chronic stress he talks about. Unusually, Ricky was deep into metabolic health and the link between metabolic health and our mental resilience, before his son was born and his needs emerged, and that head start is genuinely what has stopped Ricky from burning out under the chronic stress load. He now writes, speaks and hosts a podcast making the case that caring for the caregiver is the most overlooked part of SEND support, but one every family deserves. Key Takeaways The caregiver is the primary intervention – if the parent or carer's wellbeing is compromised, everything that flows to the child is compromised too. The hardware/software analogy – your mind (software) runs on your body (hardware), so physical health directly shapes mental resilience and capacity to cope. Metabolic health is central – nutrition, sleep, light and movement all feed into your metabolic health, which underpins both mental and physical wellbeing. Focus on nourishment, not calories – prioritise essential, bioavailable nutrients (e.g. retinol from liver vs beta-carotene from carrots) rather than counting calories. Protect your sleep hygiene – wind down screens before bed, dim the lights, and avoid caffeine after midday to let sleep pressure (adenosine) build properly. Prioritise everyday movement (NEAT) over just gym sessions – being less sedentary throughout the day matters more than a single workout. Cut back on alcohol – even a small amount interferes with sleep quality. Find your "logical entry gateway" – pick one area (nutrition, movement or sleep) that resonates with you and aim to improve it a little each day rather than seeking perfection. Looking after yourself isn't vanity – as the caregiver, your wellbeing is foundational to your capacity to support your child, especially during critical developmental windows. Mentioned in This Episode Brain Energy by Dr. Chris Palmer Connect with Ricky Learn more about Ricky's guidance and framework in his free substack https://substack.com/@rickyduplessis Website - https://www.rickyduplessis.co.uk/ LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/ricky-du-plessis/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/ricky.du.plessis.85 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ricky_duplessis/ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ricky_duplessis Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Is School the Only Option? Understanding EOTAS for SEND Families with Lauren Vermeulen

If your child is struggling to attend school, you might be wondering what the options are. In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome back Lauren Vermeulen from Victory-us to talk about EOTAS (Education Otherwise Than At or In School). Biography Lauren is the founder of Victory-us, an independent SEND Teacher - supporting, empowering and providing EOTAS to send children. Lauren has taught in a variety of schools and SEND provisions, leading emotional regulation, behaviour support trainings and PSHE. She has expertise in supporting children with bespoke and tailored learning and mental health support, to ensure children flourish on education otherwise than at school. She now supports children their families who can’t access school and need tailored support. Key Takeaways EOTAS stands for Education Otherwise Than At or In School. It is specifically for children who hold an EHCP - this is what sets it apart from elective home education. When a child has an EHCP and cannot be educated in a school setting, the responsibility for funding and meeting that child's needs sits with the local authority, not the parent. EOTAS is not the same as home education. If your child has an EHCP and you are educating them at home, the local authority still has a legal duty of care - and that includes funding. The LA must ensure all of Section F is being met. Getting EOTAS agreed can be a lengthy process. Local authorities are required to work through a list of provisions under Section 61 before EOTAS can be agreed - from mainstream, to resource bases, to specialist and independent schools, to online provision. This is why having a well-written EHCP that accurately reflects your child's needs is so important from the start. EOTAS is not just a tutor. A proper EOTAS package should address all of Section F - educational, health, and care needs. Emotional regulation, OT, SALT, therapy, and community access can all be part of the package, not just academic learning. Positive evidence matters. When building a case for EOTAS, it's not just about what isn't working - it's about evidencing what does. Is your child engaging with an online platform? A tutor? An activity based on their special interest? All of this counts. Section 19 is a different but related route. If your child cannot attend school for health reasons (including emotional school-based avoidance), and has had 15 or more consecutive days out of school, Section 19 may apply - even without an EHCP. It's intended to be temporary, but it can be a valuable window to collect evidence of what works. The goal of EOTAS is holistic, not just academic. Lauren challenges the idea that education means the national curriculum. Life skills, emotional regulation, self-advocacy, sensory needs, and community access are all valid - and essential - parts of a child's education. EOTAS can and should be reviewed regularly. Families should expect six-weekly check-ins with the LA, as well as annual review. If the LA identifies a school placement, parents are not obligated to accept it - as long as they can evidence why it would be less suitable than the current provision. You don't have to figure out the package alone. Lauren works with families to design bespoke EOTAS packages built around the child's interests, needs, and outcomes - starting with what the child loves and working backwards from there. Mentioned in This Episode MindJam — Emotional and SEN support for young people through gaming, game design and digital skills Kiwi STEM Boxes — subscription-based learning activity boxes referenced in the context of EOTAS packages Lisa Lloyd - ASD with a G&T Connect with Lauren Book a free 30 minute call with Lauren via the Calendly link on the bottom right-hand side of her website. Website: www.victory-us.co.uk Instagram: @victoryus.lv Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

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Your Child's EHCP Isn't Being Followed - Here's What to Do with Lauren Vermeulen

If you've ever felt like your child's Education, Health and Care Plan isn't being properly implemented this episode is for you. In this episode, we're joined by specialist SEND teacher and advocate Lauren Vermeulen, founder of Victory-Us, to break down exactly what parents can do when a school isn't following an EHCP. Biography Lauren is the founder of Victory-us, an independent SEND Teacher - supporting, empowering and providing EOTAS to send children. Lauren has taught in a variety of schools and SEND provisions, leading emotional regulation, behaviour support trainings and PSHE. She has expertise in supporting children with bespoke and tailored learning and mental health support, to ensure children flourish on education otherwise than at school. She now supports children their families who can’t access school and need tailored support. Key Takeaways An EHCP is a legal document - the provision written into Section F must be delivered by the school If you suspect the EHCP isn't being followed, your first step is to request a meeting with the SENCo and highlight specifically what is missing from Section F Schools receive funding to implement the EHCP - if they say they don't have the resources, a cost of provision can be requested If the issue isn't resolved, you can request an emergency annual review and involve the Local Authority Section E (outcomes) should be reviewed at every annual review and should directly link to the provision in Section F - if they don't reflect your child's current needs, you can request amendments An EHCP covers education, health, and care - if sensory needs, emotional regulation, or health provisions are being missed, that matters, even if your child appears to be meeting academic targets You don't need to be an expert to advocate - you know your child best, and it is not your responsibility to spell out how provision should be delivered, that's the school's job Free support is available via organisations like IPSEA if you need help navigating the process Mentioned in This Episode IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice) — free legal advice for families: www.ipsea.org.uk Connect with Lauren Book a free 30 minute call with Lauren via the Calendly link on the bottom right-hand side of her website. Website: www.victory-us.co.uk Instagram: @victoryus.lv Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

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ADHD Explained: Signs, Diagnosis & Real Life

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we’re talking about ADHD — what it is, how it’s diagnosed in the UK, the traits parents might notice, and how it can interact with autism in real life. ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects attention regulation, impulse control and activity levels. But beyond the clinical definitions from the NHS and NICE guidance, ADHD is lived — in busy mornings, movement breaks, emotional intensity, creativity and exhaustion. We explore: What the NHS and NICE say about ADHD How ADHD is assessed and diagnosed in the UK The signs of inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity Why ADHD is often misunderstood as “bad behaviour” How ADHD and autism can co‑occur Practical support strategies at home and school We also share our own lived experience navigating assessment, waiting lists and day‑to‑day life because understanding the guidance is one thing, but living it is another. Key Takeaways ADHD is neurodevelopmental not a parenting issue. It begins in childhood and relates to how the brain develops and functions. It is not caused by poor discipline or “naughtiness.” Diagnosis in the UK requires a full specialist assessment. ADHD cannot be diagnosed through a single questionnaire or short GP appointment. It involves developmental history, school input and evidence of impairment across settings. Symptoms fall into three main areas. Inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity — though children may present with a combination, and hyperactivity isn’t always physical. ADHD and autism often co‑occur. Executive functioning challenges, sensory needs, routine preferences and impulsivity can interact in complex ways, making everyday life feel layered and exhausting. ADHD also comes with strengths. Creativity, passion, humour, curiosity and energy are often part of the picture. Mentioned in This Episode NHS NICE YoungMinds ADHD Foundation Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

What is Autism? We're Talking About It

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we're going back to basics and talking about what autism actually is. We cover what autism is and what it isn't, why the word 'spectrum' is so widely misunderstood, and what it can feel like to hear that word applied to your child for the first time. We also get into some of the phrases that drive every autism parent quietly up the wall and why they matter more than people realise. Key Takeaways Autism is a neurodevelopmental difference - it's about how the brain develops and processes information. It's present from birth and it's lifelong. The spectrum isn't a straight line. It's more like a colour spectrum - a profile of different strengths, challenges, sensitivities, and support needs that looks different in every person. Social communication differences don't mean autistic people don't want connection. They mean they may communicate and connect differently. Repetitive behaviours, strong special interests, a need for predictability, and sensory differences are all part of how autism can present and they can look very different from one child to the next. Autism can co-occur with anxiety, ADHD, or learning disabilities but autism itself is a neurotype, not an illness. 'We're all a little bit autistic' is well-meaning but misleading. Being autistic means having a distinct, lifelong neurological framework and phrases like this risk minimising the real challenges many autistic people and their families face. 'They don't look autistic.' What people often can't see is the masking, the mental exhaustion, and the cost of holding it together. A diagnosis can bring fear and grief but also relief and validation. Many parents describe a shift from panic to advocacy — from 'what is this?' to 'what can I do?' Support needs vary widely and can change across different life stages. What works in primary school may not be enough in secondary. Support isn't static. Mentioned in This Episode National Autistic Society -www.autism.org.uk Autistic UK www.autisticuk.org NHS - Autism overview and diagnosis pathways: www.nhs.uk/conditions/autism Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

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SEND Reform UK: Rights at Risk?

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we're talking about the proposed SEND Reforms 2026 and what they could mean for families across the UK. The Government says the changes aim to make mainstream schools more inclusive, reduce EHCP numbers, and introduce new “layers” of support but many parents are concerned about what this could mean for legal protections, specialist provision, and access to support. After attending a local community meeting with our MP and submitting our own consultation response as parents, we share the common themes, key concerns, and the questions that still remain unanswered. This isn’t about resisting reform, it’s about making sure reform strengthens the system, and doesn't weaken children’s rights. Key Takeaways EHCP access could change significantly. Proposals suggest EHCPs may eventually be reserved for children with “the most complex needs” but there is currently no clear definition of what that means. Specialist Provision Packages (SPPs) may replace detailed individual plans. This risks shifting from a needs‑led system to a more standardised, package‑based approach. Legal enforceability is a major concern. If support moves from Section F of an EHCP into Individual Support Plans (ISPs), it may not carry the same legal protection. Mainstream inclusion requires real resources. Training, inclusion bases and expert advice sound positive but without more educational psychologists, therapists and specialist teachers, implementation may fall short. Need must drive provision — not budgets or system design. Reform can only succeed if it strengthens accountability, preserves rights, and ensures support is delivered in practice. Mentioned in This Episode Michael Charles' Facebook page Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Puberty, Periods and Neurodivergent Kids with Cath Hakanson

Puberty is a long season of change and for neurodivergent children, that can feel especially overwhelming. In this episode, Victoria and Natalie are joined by Cath Hakanson, sex educator and founder of Sex Ed Rescue, who shares practical, reassuring guidance on talking to autistic and ADHD kids about puberty, bodies, and growing up. Cath is late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD herself, and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to the conversation. About Cath Hakanson Cath Hakanson is a clinical sexuality educator, registered nurse, and founder of Sex Ed Rescue, a global platform that has supported over a million families with honest, shame-free sex education. With more than 25 years of clinical experience spanning sexual health nursing, sex therapy, and health promotion, Cath has made it her mission to help parents have the conversations they were never taught to have. Late-diagnosed AuDHD herself and a parent of neurodivergent kids, she brings both expertise and lived experience to her work. Her approach is simple, factual, and built for real family life, neurospicy or otherwise. Key Takeaways Start early and keep it small. Introducing puberty from age four or five through books, casual comments, and everyday moments which means it's never one huge overwhelming conversation. Puberty isn't necessarily different for neurodivergent kids, but the way they experience and process it often is. Sensory sensitivities around hygiene routines, body hair, and discharge can all create friction. Before you problem-solve, ask. The single most useful thing you can do is ask your child what's getting in the way, the answer might surprise you. Small, natural, low-pressure conversations, once a month, in the car, over a TV show, are far more effective and keep the door open for questions as they grow. Hormones can hit differently with a neurodivergent nervous system. Helping your child understand why their emotions might feel more intense during puberty is part of the conversation too. It's never too late to start. Whether your child is four or eighteen, beginning the conversation now is always better than not beginning it at all. Mentioned in This Episode Cath's Top Ten Sex Education Books - https://sexedrescue.com/sex-education-books Hair in Funny Places by Babette Cole https://babette-cole.com/10550-2/ AUsome — Autistic-led neurodiversity training - https://ausometraining.com Free Guide: Sex Education for Neurodivergent Kids - For parents of autistic and ADHD kids who want a clearer way to approach sex ed without making it feel bigger or harder than it needs to be. https://sexedrescue.com/neuroaffirmingsexed Connect with Cath Website: https://sexedrescue.com Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cathhakanson Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

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EBSA & Autism: School Avoidance Isn’t Defiance with Caroline Sutton

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast Natalie is joined by psychotherapist, author and former NHS specialist nurse Caroline Sutton to talk about Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA) and why so many neurodivergent children experience school as overwhelming or unsafe. When a child can’t go to school, it’s rarely about defiance. Caroline shares over 37 years of professional experience supporting children and families, alongside her lived experience as a neurodivergent parent. Together, we explore the emotional and neurological roots of school anxiety and why traditional behaviour-based approaches often make things worse. If you’ve ever been told to “just make home less appealing” or that your child is being manipulative, we hope this conversation will feel validating, hopeful and reassuring. Biography Caroline Sutton is a psychotherapist, author, and former NHS specialist nurse with over 37 years of experience supporting children and families. Drawing on her professional background and her lived experience as a neurodivergent parent, she brings a deeply compassionate approach to understanding emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA) and anxiety in young people. Through her private practice, writing, and public speaking, Caroline helps parents and professionals see beyond behaviour to the emotional and neurological roots of distress. Her work blends clinical insight with personal understanding, empowering families to rebuild safety, trust, and hope in education and at home. Key Takeaways What Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA) really means Why school avoidance is not the same as defiance The link between autism, ADHD, anxiety and burnout How the nervous system responds when school feels unsafe Why forcing attendance can increase distress Signs your child may be heading toward burnout How to balance encouragement with emotional safety Supporting transitions back to school after holidays The importance of compassion for parents navigating EBSA Mentioned in This Episode 📘 A Compassionate Approach to School Anxiety by Caroline Sutton Ebook Paperback 🎁 Free Download: Caroline’s Return to School Checklist 👥 Caroline’s private Facebook membership for parents Connect with Caroline Sutton Instagram Website Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Understanding Sensory Differences in Autism

Sensory differences affect up to 95% of autistic people, yet they’re often misunderstood as “fussy” behaviour or being dramatic. In this episode, we break down what sensory processing really is. Key Takeaways The 8 sensory systems (not just the 5 you learned at school) Hypersensitivity vs hyposensitivity Sensory defensiveness Why supermarkets, lunch halls, hand dryers and clothing can feel unbearable How sensory overload impacts eating, sleep, learning and behaviour Practical strategies for calming, alerting and organising regulation We also share personal examples from our own families and discuss how to support sensory needs at home and in school, with curiosity, compassion and less shame. Because behaviour is communication and regulation matters more than compliance. Mentioned in This Episode The National Autistic Society Beat Eating Disorders Loop earplugs Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Before the Diagnosis: What to Do When Your Child Is Struggling and Support Feels Miles Away

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we're talking about what to do when your child is struggling and support feels a long way off. We talk honestly about what it feels like when things start to break down before any formal support is in place, and share the practical things that actually helped us and our children during that difficult waiting period. Key Takeaways You are not alone — there will be other parents in the same situation, often hovering outside the same school gate. Schools receive additional funding for children on the SEN register even without an EHCP. You can ask how this funding is being used to support your child. Under Section 19 of the Education Act 1996, your local authority has a legal duty to provide suitable full-time alternative education for children who cannot attend school - this applies whether or not your child has an EHC plan. Councils and schools don't always tell you what's available. Do your own research. SENDIASS offers free, impartial advice. When your child's nervous system is overwhelmed, reduce demands across the board, including everyday things like getting dressed or sitting at the table. This is temporary, and you can rebuild later. Lean into whatever regulates your child, whether that's screens, gaming, Lego, or their special interest. This is not the time to restrict it. Movement, nature, and quieter environments can be powerful regulators, particularly away from busy, sensory-heavy places. Other parents ahead of you on this journey are one of your best sources of information. If you can access the Early Bird course (or a similar programme in your area) even before a formal diagnosis it can be well worth it. It is okay to say no to birthday parties, family events, and social obligations that are too much right now, for your child and for you. Look after yourself. Connect with other parents, speak to your GP, consider counselling. You cannot advocate well for your child if you are running on empty. Trust yourself. You know your child better than anyone. Don't let that be swayed. Mentioned in This Episode SEN Budget for Mainstream Schools Advice about School Anxiety Getting Temporary Education Put in Place SENDIASS — free, confidential, impartial advice and support for families of children with SEND: find your local service The Horse Course — equine intervention for children with anxiety: thehorsecourse.org Early Bird Programme — support for families of autistic children, usually post-diagnosis Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

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