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The Aging Parent Playbook

Barbara Sparacino MD

Welcome to The Aging Parent Playbook, the ultimate resource for adult children navigating the complex journey of caring for aging parents. Hosted by Dr. Barbara Sparacino, a triple board-certified psychiatrist, this podcast offers expert insights, practical tips, and compassionate guidance on essential topics like legal issues, caregiver burnout, memory loss, and home safety modifications.

Each episode dives deep into the challenges of caregiving, equipping you with the tools to support your aging loved ones while managing your own well-being. Whether you're facing difficult conversations about health and finances or seeking strategies for managing family dynamics, The Aging Parent Playbook is here to help you every step of the way.

Join our community of listeners and gain access to invaluable advice and support tailored specifically for adult children of aging parents. Subscribe now and empower yourself to create a positive caregiving experience for you and your family!

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20 episodes
Avg 18 min
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Thursday · 23 min· Video
Episode 71: The Free Senior Living Advisor Who Actually Pays
Have you ever searched for senior living for your parent and felt relieved when someone offered to help you for free? It sounds great, especially when you're already overwhelmed and don't know where to start. But have you ever wondered who actually pays that advisor—and how it might affect the options you're given? In Episode 71 of The Aging Parent Playbook, Dr. Barbara Sparacino breaks down how senior living referral services work and what families need to know before relying on their recommendations. Listen to discover seven important questions to ask before choosing a senior living community, how to look beyond reviews and recommendations, and how to make sure a potential placement fits your parent's actual care needs—not just an available opening. Because free help can be valuable, but you deserve to understand exactly what you're getting before making one of your family's most important decisions.
September 30 · 23 min· Video
Episode 70: Who Does What Building Your Parent S Professional Bench
When your aging parent needs care, you may suddenly find yourself surrounded by doctors, social workers, attorneys, care agencies, and senior living professionals—without knowing who does what or who is actually working for you. In Episode 70, Dr. Barbara breaks down who belongs on your parent’s care team, who pays whom, and why every family needs a “quarterback.” Listen before you’re facing a 72-hour hospital discharge deadline. You’ll learn the questions to ask, the roles you need to understand, and the simple steps that can turn a crisis into a plan.
September 8 · 11 min· Video
EPISODE 69 The Fall Before The Fall
In this episode, I take you room by room through one of the most common and preventable crises families face with aging parents: falls. We’ll look beyond the obvious trip hazards and explore the five systems that can come together to create a fall, including medications, vision, balance, strength, and the home environment. I’ll also share practical ways to make a home safer without making your parent feel like they are losing their independence, plus what to look for and ask after a fall happens.
September 1 · 9 min· Video
EPISODE 68: I'm Her Best Shot
In this episode, I talk about what it means to become your aging parent’s advocate when you are the person who knows them best. I share my own experience of showing up for my mother during a medical crisis and why understanding her language, habits, and unique way of communicating became so important. We’ll explore why consistency and daily check-ins are not necessarily a burden, but can become a powerful form of support and connection. Most importantly, this episode is about the deep relationship that allows you to recognize what your parent needs, even when they cannot fully express it themselves.
July 30 · 23 min· Video
Episode 67: The Sibling Divide Why Your Brother Thinks Mom Is Fine
In this episode, I unpack one of the most painful realities of family caregiving: why siblings can look at the same parent and see completely different realities. I explain the psychology behind the sibling divide, why both perspectives can be true, and how misunderstanding—not lack of love—often fuels family conflict. You'll learn practical strategies for getting everyone on the same page, creating shared responsibility, and replacing arguments with objective information. If caregiving has strained your relationship with your siblings, this episode will help you move from frustration to collaboration.
July 20 · 26 min· Video
Episode 66: Guardianship Avoidance Guide
In this episode, I explain why guardianship is one of the most expensive, stressful, and avoidable legal situations families can face. Through the story of one family, I break down the difference between a durable power of attorney and guardianship, what capacity really means, and why the window for legal planning often closes long before a crisis begins. You'll learn why waiting "until the time is right" can have lasting consequences and how to start these important conversations before it's too late. This episode will help you protect your parent's wishes, preserve their dignity, and avoid unnecessary legal and emotional hardship.
July 7 · 21 min· Video
EPISODE 65: The Ten Minute Pity Party And Why You re Not Allowed More
In this episode, I challenge the belief that constant exhaustion is a sign of being a good caregiver. I introduce my "10-Minute Pity Party" framework, a simple but powerful way to process grief, frustration, and overwhelm without letting those emotions take over your entire day. You'll learn why suppressing your feelings can lead to burnout, how giving yourself permission to feel actually builds resilience, and why caring for yourself is essential to caring well for your parent. This episode is your reminder that showing up with strength begins by making space for your own humanity.
June 26 · 27 min· Video
Episode 64: The Six- to-Eighteen-Month Window You're Missing
In this episode, I reveal the quiet six to eighteen month window that often comes before a caregiving crisis, and why so many families miss it. I walk you through the subtle warning signs that signal something is changing, how to tell the difference between normal aging and meaningful decline, and the four critical steps to take before an emergency forces difficult decisions. You'll learn how early preparation can preserve your parent's independence, reduce family stress, and give everyone more options. Recognizing this window may be one of the most important things you can do for your aging parent and for yourself.
June 22 · 31 min· Video
Episode 63: Three Questions to Ask Before You Believe Any Doctor
In this episode, I share the three most important questions every adult child should ask during a parent’s medical appointment. Too often, families leave the doctor’s office with more confusion than clarity, unsure of what was decided, what to watch for, or what happens next. I’ll show you how to advocate effectively, understand the bigger picture, and make sure your parent’s care aligns with what matters most to them. These simple but powerful questions can transform the way you navigate the healthcare system and help you walk away from appointments feeling informed, confident, and prepared.
June 16 · 29 min· Video
Episode 62: What Happens When Your Parent Won't Sign the Documents
In this episode, I tackle one of the hardest situations families face: what happens when your parent still refuses to sign important legal documents. I explain why resistance does not always mean refusal, how to keep the conversation moving without creating conflict, and the critical difference between capacity and competence. You'll learn the warning signs that the window for legal planning may be closing and what steps to take before a crisis forces decisions into the hands of the court. This is an essential conversation for any family trying to balance patience, respect, and the reality of time.
June 3 · 17 min· Video
Episode 61: The Power of Attorney Conversation Nobody Knows How to Have
In this episode, I explain why so many aging parents resist signing a power of attorney and why it’s usually not about trust. I walk you through what is actually happening emotionally beneath the resistance, including fears around loss of control, decline, and mortality. You’ll learn how to reframe the conversation in a way that feels respectful instead of threatening, along with the exact language that helps families move forward without conflict. This episode is about creating legal clarity before a crisis forces difficult decisions.
May 28 · 20 min· Video
Episode 60: Why Your Sister Won't Help (And It's Not Because She's a Narcissist)
In this episode, I unpack one of the most common phrases I hear from overwhelmed caregivers: “My sister is a narcissist.” I explain why most difficult sibling behavior is not actually narcissism, how pop psychology is reshaping family conflict, and why mislabeling people keeps families stuck. You’ll learn the difference between personality disorders, family roles, unresolved relationships, and plain old selfishness — and how understanding those distinctions changes the way you respond. This conversation is about moving away from labels and toward clearer, healthier, and more productive family dynamics.
May 26 · 20 min· Video
Episode 59: The Five Roles Every Caregiving Family Falls Into.
In this episode, I break down the five family roles that show up in almost every caregiving situation and why the same arguments keep happening over and over again. From the responsible one to the disappearing sibling, the critic, the peacemaker, and the dependent child, I explain how these patterns shape family dynamics when a parent starts needing care. You’ll learn how childhood roles quietly resurface in adulthood, why caregiving tension feels so personal, and what it actually takes to change the system. This conversation will help you stop fighting the people around you and start understanding the patterns driving the conflict.
May 12 · 23 min· Video
Episode 58: Why You're Not Parenting Your Parent
In this episode, I challenge one of the most common phrases caregivers use: “I feel like I’m parenting my parent.” I explain why that mindset creates guilt, resentment, and emotional exhaustion, and what’s actually happening instead. You’ll learn how to shift from feeling responsible for everything to stepping into a more sustainable role as an advocate. This reframe will help you protect your relationship with your parent while also protecting yourself.
May 5 · 17 min· Video
Episode 57: Grief Before Loss: What Anticipatory Grief Actually Looks Like
In this episode, I talk about one of the most painful and unspoken parts of caregiving: grieving a parent who is still alive. I walk you through what anticipatory grief really is, why it feels so isolating, and the thoughts and emotions many caregivers are too afraid to say out loud. You’ll hear why nothing is wrong with you, even if your feelings feel confusing or heavy. Most importantly, I share simple, grounded ways to help you process what you’re carrying so you don’t have to hold it alone.
May 4 · 7 min· Video
Episode 56: How to Know If Your Parent's Doctor is Actually Listening
In this episode, I talk about a concern I hear all the time from adult children who feel like their parent’s doctor isn’t really listening. I walk you through why this happens, especially in short, high-pressure medical appointments, and why aging adults are more vulnerable to being overlooked. You’ll learn the key signs to watch for and how to advocate effectively without creating conflict. This is about helping you feel informed, confident, and better equipped to make sure your parent gets the care they truly need.
April 22 · 5 min· Video
Episode 55: The One Binder That Could Save Your Family in a Crisis
Imagine getting a call in the middle of the night and realizing you don’t have the information you need to help your parent. In this episode, I walk you through why preparation matters more than we think and how a simple care plan binder can change everything in a crisis. I’ll show you what to include, why it matters, and how it helps you respond with clarity instead of panic. This is one of the most practical steps you can take to care for your parent with confidence and intention.
April 15 · 13 min· Video
Episode 54: Before the Crisis Hits: What Every Family Needs to Know + My 1:1 Strategy Call
In this episode, I walk you through what really happens when a crisis hits and families realize they are not prepared to make medical, legal, or financial decisions. I share why love and good intentions are not enough, and how lack of clarity creates stress, conflict, and delays when it matters most. You’ll learn what adult children often miss, what decisions come up quickly, and why early planning changes everything. If you’re starting to notice changes in your parent, this episode will help you think more clearly about your next steps and how to get the right support.
April 1 · 12 min· Video
Episode 53: Legal Safety Net Plan: Why Legal Authority Matters Before Crisis
In this episode, I talk about one of the biggest mistakes families make when caring for aging parents: assuming things will work out when the time comes. I walk you through why love and responsibility are not the same as legal authority, and how this gap creates chaos during emergencies. You’ll see how unclear roles, missing documents, and avoided conversations can quickly turn into conflict and stress. Most importantly, I show you how early clarity can prevent crisis and bring calm when it matters most.
March 26 · 6 min· Video
Episode 51: Caregiver Strategy Course: How to Assess, Plan, and Stay Ahead of the Caregiving Curve
You don’t become a caregiver overnight. It starts with small shifts you begin to notice. In this episode, I walk you through how to recognize that transition early and why strategy matters before things become overwhelming. I’ll show you how to assess your parent’s current situation and start thinking ahead with clarity and confidence. This is your first step to moving from reactive to intentional caregiving.

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