The Academic Imperfectionist

#140: When everything feels too high-stakes

When was the last time you made a completely frivolous, inconsequential decision? Some of you, I know, are going to have to think hard about your answer to that. Some of you are all about the drama, in the worst possible way. Missing that deadline means sabotaging your entire career. Forgetting that colleague's name means revealing yourself as a giant buffoon to everyone you care about connecting with. Making the wrong decision about which project to work on next means squandering what remains of your potential. You're so anxious about reaching your goals that you're burning through your energy and your peace of mind. You know you can't go on like this, but you're afraid to relax because that means giving up, failure, and oblivion. It really doesn't have to be this way, my friend. Not everything matters. There's room in your life and in your career for playfulness, whimsy, and mistakes without consequences. Make yourself a calming cuppa and settle in for some straight talking from The Academic Imperfectionist.

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#139: How to say no (and be heard)

You've done the inner work, the soul searching, the assertiveness training. You're no longer a people-pleasing pushover who agrees to anything anyone asks. These days, you're someone who's not afraid to guard their own boundaries. You know the word 'no', and you're not afraid to use it. Go you! But there's a problem. Sometimes, saying 'no' doesn't work. You get pushback. It feels like sometimes people don't hear you. You don't understand why this happens. And while you've learned to be comfortable with saying 'no', you're out of your depth when it comes to fighting your corner against people who go all-out to get a 'yes'. I've got you covered, my friend. With a dollop of philosophy of language, a side-serving of sociolinguistics, and a sprinkle of sociology, you can understand what's going on, and what you can do about it. References: Brown, P. and Levinson, S. 1987: Politeness: Some Universals in Language Usage (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press). Goffman, Erving. 1967: Interaction Ritual: Essays on Face-to-Face Behavior (New York: Pantheon Books). Grice, H. Paul. 1975: ‘Logic and Conversation’, in Cole, P. and Morgan, J. L. (eds.) Syntax and Semantics, Vol. 3, Speech Acts (New York: Academic Press), 41-58.

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#138: 'So, what do you do?'

Imagine the scenario. You're hanging around the buffet at a conference, or skirting the edges of a post-seminar drinks reception, or - heaven forbid - drifting around an institutional networking event. As you're clutching your room-temperature drink and trying not to look too awkward, someone you've never met before says hello and asks, 'So, what do you do?' Do you have an answer? Is it a satisfactory one? Or are you someone who lies awake at night wondering how they can curate their career in a way that will enable them to be able to answer this question in a confident, self-assured way? It has come the attention of The Academic Imperfectionist that there are plenty of you out there who worry about this question. It's time to dial down the stress. Grab a cuppa, and get listening!

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#137: How to flourish as an ADHD academic

If you're an academic with ADHD, you're probably battle-hardened from years spent struggling to do things that come easily to your colleagues: focus, resist distractions, tame exciting but messy ideas into nice coherent research papers. But no matter how good you've got at finding ways to get the work done, you're still at a disadvantage. The rules for How To Get Things Done were written for people who don't have ADHD. Living by those rules is harder for you than for other people, and it leaves you with a demoralising sense of being second-rate. My friend, it doesn't need to be like this. You can rewrite the rules to allow you to play to your strengths instead of managing your weaknesses. Your card-carrying academic ADHD imperfectionist buddy is here to set you on the right tracks.

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#136: Stop chasing that 'finished my homework' feeling

Do you often have thoughts like, 'I just need to finish X, then I can relax'? Except that when you finish X, you still can't relax, because along comes another obligation - and before you know it, you're face-to-face with burnout. If that's you, you're not alone, and you're not incompetent. You're simply approaching your work in a way that has served you well ever since you were a kid: finish your homework now, play later. That approach is not serving you any more, but it's hard to move on because it's part of your identity. Who even are you, if not the kid who gets their homework done?! There's a way through this muddle, my friend. Join The Academic Imperfectionist for a mindset reset.

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#135: Do this instead of comparing yourself to others

We all have that one person, don't we, whose success makes us painfully aware of our own shortcomings? A person who serves as a reminder of all the great things we could have been, but aren't. Hearing news of their latest achievement is liable to ruin our entire day, as we rush headlong into reflecting on how flawed and disappointing we are. But what if it's not that simple? What if the reason that person is doing so well is not because they're better than you, but because the two of you have different values, and therefore different priorities? In this episode, I'm going to reframe your depressing comparisons and show you how you can use them to tune in to what you care most about. Turn that frown upside down, my friend, and settle in for some uplifting truth bombs. You can find my Core Values exercise here, and the Wheel of Life here.

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#134: Defeat perfectionism with one weird trick

Yeah, okay, clickbaity title, but I really do want to share with you a helpful way of reframing perfectionism that I've been thinking about recently. Perfectionism happens when our lack of confidence in our ability to succeed meets our lack of knowledge about what success requires. Overcoming it requires filling in the gaps in our knowledge and finding constructive ways to respond to our lack of confidence. How do we do this? Well, by thinking about what we do when we're hungry, and also by thinking about getting wedged in an unground tunnel. Hear me out.

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#133: Academia is just a job!

Do you ever worry that you're not serious enough for academia? That you're constantly playing whack-a-mole with hiding your many frivolous and unimpressive traits as you try to convince everyone that you deserve your place at the table? That you're a big old fake because you need to curate yourself so much in order to seem like you belong? If so, you're not alone - and it's not because you're flawed. It's because you're yet to uncover academia's dirty little secret: that it's just a job. If you can get your head around that, life will be much less stressful. References Goffman, Erving. 1956: The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life (University of Edinburgh Social Sciences Research Centre). Guignon, Charles. 2004: On Being Authentic (London: Routledge). (Bernard Williams quotation on page viii.) Hawley, Katherine. 2019: 'What is impostor syndrome?', Aristotelian Society Supplementary Volume 93/1: 203–226. Kelsky, Karen. 2021: 'Academia is a cult', TEDx Talks. Rousseau, Jean-Jacques. 1770: The Confessions of Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Lester Crocker (ed.) (New York: Pocket Books, 1957). Sartre, Jean-Paul. 1943: Being and Nothingness (New York: Washington Square Press, 1992).

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#132: Backpacks, bias, and your unrealistic summer plans

You know how, when teaching finishes for the summer, you feel all-powerful and end up vastly over-estimating how much you'll be able to get done before the new academic year? And, have you ever noticed that the opposite happens once term starts up again: you're overwhelmed, you panic because you don't think you're going to manage to do everything, but then you surprise yourself and it's all fine in the end? Yeah, well, there's a reason for that. Join your imperfectionist pal for a speculative little dive into the psychology of perception, and some ideas about how you can smooth out the bumps and make nice, sensible plans all year round. References Balcetis E, Dunning D. Cognitive dissonance and the perception of natural environments. Psychol Sci. 2007 Oct;18(10):917-21. doi: 10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.02000.x. PMID: 17894610. Balcetis E, Dunning D. Wishful seeing: more desired objects are seen as closer. Psychol Sci. 2010 Jan;21(1):147-52. doi: 10.1177/0956797609356283. Epub 2009 Dec 17. PMID: 20424036. Proffitt DR, Bhalla M, Gossweiler R, Midgett J. Perceiving geographical slant. Psychon Bull Rev. 1995 Dec;2(4):409-28. doi: 10.3758/BF03210980. PMID: 24203782. Proffitt DR, Stefanucci J, Banton T, Epstein W. The role of effort in perceiving distance. Psychol Sci. 2003 Mar;14(2):106-12. doi: 10.1111/1467-9280.t01-1-01427. PMID: 12661670. Schnall S, Zadra JR, Proffitt DR. Direct evidence for the economy of action: glucose and the perception of geographical slant. Perception. 2010;39(4):464-82. doi: 10.1068/p6445. PMID: 20514996; PMCID: PMC3298360.

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#131: Your binary thinking is trying to tell you something

Binary thinking is that horrible all-or-nothing approach that holds us back by convincing us that any positive change we consider will inevitably lead to disaster. You know the sort of thing: 'I should be more assertive, but if I try, I'll end up being an arrogant psychopath who everyone hates', or 'I should get out for a walk every day, but if I do, I will neglect all my duties and get fired', or 'If I show compassion towards myself I will give up and stop trying and never get anywhere in life'. If you catch yourself doing the binary thinking thing, then you need to stop immediately. Even so, there's wisdom in the binary. If you can resist the temptation to let it sabotage all your plans, you can use it to help you realise those plans. By using your binary thinking as a prompt for reflection, you can turn your idea for positive change into a detailed, workable strategy. Try out the brand new Binary thinking worksheet! Oh, and I also mention the Core values exercise.

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#130: The bonkers mental gymnastics of your writing anxiety

We all know how hard you have to work to sit down and write. You'll do pretty much anything to avoid it. Have you ever noticed, though, that avoiding your writing is no less exhausting than just bloody doing it? Weird, right? Well, actually, not weird - at least, not when you understand how hard your poor, anxious brain is having to work to trick you into getting your words down. You care deeply about your writing - that's why you're so worried about getting it right. Yet, lots of the most well-known writing advice focuses on convincing you not to care so much about it. So, there you are, doing your best, trying to believe both that your writing is very important and that it's not important at all. Maybe that strategy is working for you, in which case, I am cheering for you. But if it's not, hit play and let your imperfect friend hand-hold you through what to try instead.

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#129: The hidden burden of decision fatigue

Are you frustrated with yourself because you just can't get on with the work you care most about? Do you find it easier to make progress with emails and marking than to get your writing done? Is your procrastination out of control? Are you just unbelievably lazy? Take a pause, my friend. There's a reason why you struggle to make progress on the important things, and it's not what you think. Tasks like writing are complicated, and require a ton of decision-making in order to make progress. That's exhausting, but it becomes impossible if you refuse to recognise that it's necessary. The result is that you end up prioritising those less important tasks but easy-to-complete tasks. Don't worry, though: help is at hand. Join The Academic Imperfectionist for a sneak peek at what's throwing you off course, and how to fix it. References Danziger S, Levav J, Avnaim-Pesso L. Extraneous factors in judicial decisions. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2011 Apr 26;108(17):6889-92. doi: 10.1073/pnas.1018033108. Epub 2011 Apr 11. PMID: 21482790; PMCID: PMC3084045. Pignatiello GA, Martin RJ, Hickman RL Jr. Decision fatigue: A conceptual analysis. J Health Psychol. 2020 Jan;25(1):123-135. doi: 10.1177/1359105318763510. Epub 2018 Mar 23. PMID: 29569950; PMCID: PMC6119549. Schwartz B, Ward A, Monterosso J, Lyubomirsky S, White K, Lehman DR. Maximizing versus satisficing: happiness is a matter of choice. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2002 Nov;83(5):1178-97. doi: 10.1037//0022-3514.83.5.1178. PMID: 12416921.

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#128: Professor Katrien Devolder on why you're wrong about laziness

Is it bad to be called lazy? Prince Harry thinks so: in his memoir, he suggests that it's better to called racist than lazy. But even if you wouldn't go that far, I'm willing to bet that you care deeply about not being viewed as lazy. Perhaps you've worked when you should have taken a sick day, said yes to things that you knew were a bad idea, or pushed yourself to burnout - all to avoid the L word. If you've ever thought you might be lazy, you're in great company. Plenty of high achievers think of themselves as lazy. People like Barack Obama and Stephen Fry. Is it possible to work hard and still be lazy? Were Albert Einstein and Steve Jobs lazy because they wore the same outfits every day? Are cats lazy? Is laziness the same thing as inactivity? And what is laziness, anyway? Professor Katrien Devolder has been pondering all these questions, and more. She's convinced that, in many cases, what looks like laziness is in fact justified effort management: the completely reasonable direction of our time and energy to what's most important. In other cases, what looks like laziness is genuine difficulty getting things done resulting from neurodiversity, illness, or disability. And sometimes, ascriptions of laziness are plain old prejudice. Katrien swung by Imperfectionist Towers to show you why laziness is much more complicated than you thought. Katrien Devolder is Professor of Applied Ethics and Director of Public Philosophy at Uehiro Oxford Institute, University of Oxford. She's the mastermind behind Project Lazy, an interdisciplinary project that combines academic research and community engagement to clarify what laziness is and challenge harmful assumptions about productivity.

#127: Professor Polaris Koi on why self-control is not what you think it is

Be honest. You're here because you think you completely suck at self-control, aren't you? You're constantly disappointing yourself, and it's getting you down. The people around you seem to be able to get on with things - but you find it impossible, for some reason. And, by 'for some reason', you mean 'because I'm a terrible person'. Help is at hand, my beautifully flawed friend. You've been hoodwinked about self-control. It's likely that you're actually much better at it than you think, and that the reason you think you're terrible at it is because you're taking an overly narrow view of what it is and what it's used for. What's more, self-control isn't simply a matter of willpower, and it's not all in the head. It's much bigger than that, and if you struggle with it, it might be for social and political reasons. Here to spill the beans about self-control is Polaris Koi, Assistant Professor of Practical Philosophy at the University of Turku, Finland. He's spent years working to understand the very human experience of trying and failing to get ourselves to do the things we want to be doing. He's an interdisciplinary research who focuses on human agency, decision-making, and cognitive diversity. He's also the founder of Ronroo, a psychoeducation app that offers easy-to-reach support for people with self-control and executive functioning difficulties.

#126: Why you should care about emotional frailty

You know what frailty is, and you definitely want to avoid it. But have you heard of emotional frailty? No, of course not - I've just made it up. But if you've ever felt like you're completely winning at life, and then some tiny little setback knocks you sideways, leaving you wondering what's wrong with you and why you suddenly can't cope, emotional frailty is to blame. Emotional frailty is invisible, it's dangerous - and often, the culture around us encourages us to do exactly the sorts of things that exacerbate it. It's time to fight back. Your Imperfectionist friend is here to show you how. Find the Wheel of Life exercise here.

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#125: Your moral gerrymandering is hurting you

You're a good person. You try to be a good friend, a good colleague, and a good neighbour. You care about other people, you pull your weight, and you don't let anyone down. But, sometimes, you feel you're not enough. You're exhausted, but taking time for yourself means doing wrong by somebody else. You feel like you need to destroy yourself just to avoid being a bad person. If this sounds familiar, you're not crazy or inadequate. The problem is that you've constructed a moral framework that unfairly burdens you, and you don't even realise, because on the surface it looks like you're following completely plausible moral principles. But don't worry: help is at hand! Your Imperfectionist friend here is going to show you what's gone wrong and how to fix it.

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#124: Dr Dana Klisanin on wild willpower and drawing resilience from nature

What comes to mind when you think about willpower? Discipline? Self-denial? Overcoming your weak, useless, lazy self? Exhausting, right? Thankfully, there's another way, and this episode's guest is here to take you there. Dr Dana Klisanin is a psychologist and one of Forbes's 50 leading female futurists. She's a researcher, an author, an artist, a TEDx speaker, and the founder of ReWilding: Lab, where she explores the untapped potential of human-nature connection to improve health and wellbeing, and to help us live more sustainably. She sat down with me to talk about how a fulfilling life needn't involve fighting and winning against our natural inclinations, and why thinking of ourselves as part of the natural world can make us happier, stronger, and more resilient. Read Dana's article in Psychology Today, 'What if we've misunderstood willpower all along?' Pre-order Dana's latest book, The Art of Wild Willpower: Nature-Based Invitations for Ritual, Reflection, and Reconnection. Dana's recent TEDx talk, 'Rewilding the mind: The most endangered habitat is inside us', will soon be published here.

#123: What do you have to brag about?

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your willingness to say nice things about yourself? How about your willingness to point out your own failures and shortcomings? If the first number you came up with is higher than the second, then move along, my friend - this episode can do nothing for you. Gather round, the rest of you. You've been taught all your life that modesty and humility are virtues. But, would you know if your self-deprecation had gone too far? Could your toxic humility be holding you back? And if it is, so what? Better that than being arrogant, right?! Oh dear, friend. What a mess. But don't worry. Your Imperfectionist friend is here to show how you can do some healthy cheerleading for yourself without turning into a boasty monster. Settle down for the final episode of 2025, and prepare to end it with a smile on your face! Contact The Academic Imperfectionist here, or via Bluesky, Facebook, or Medium. Read Emma Beddington's article about toxic humility here.

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#122: Write it down, make it happen

Do you get up every day and tear around trying to get stuff done, and yet still end up feeling overwhelmed and frustrated at your lack of progress? There's something very simple - so simple, in fact, that you're going to feel cheated and frankly furious as soon as I tell you what it is - that you can do to get more done and feel less frantic. Now, I know you don't have time to listen to this episode because YOU SHOULD BE WRITING, but trust me on this one. Get the kettle on, take a break, and have a listen. You'll be glad you did.

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#121: Is your self-improvement self-rejection in disguise?

I know how committed you are to self-improvement. Self-improvement is a good thing, right? Well, it depends. If you're motivated to improve yourself because you don't like yourself as you are, then perhaps it's not as wholesome as you thought. But how do you tell whether you're doing the wholesome sort of self-improvement or the unwholesome sort? What even is the right sort of self-improvement? Step off your upward trajectory for a moment, friend, and let your Imperfectionist friend here decipher all this for you. Find the 5 whys exercise here.

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