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St-John On Air · July 12 · 8 min

#033 Understanding Masking

The Exhaustion Nobody Sees: Understanding Masking in Neurodivergent Lives Why do some autistic people and people with ADHD seem to "hold it together" all day—only to completely fall apart once they get home? In this compassionate episode of StJohn-On-Air, I explore the hidden emotional labour of masking (also known as camouflaging): the effort many neurodivergent people invest in hiding their natural behaviours to fit into a world that often misunderstands them. Drawing on the work of Dr. Laura Hull, Dr. Devon Price, Dr. Damian Milton, Dr. Catherine Crompton, Dr. Tony Attwood, Dr. Luke Beardon, Dr. Daniel Siegel, and Carl Rogers, I discuss: ​What masking really is—and why it develops ​Why many autistic people and people with ADHD mask from childhood ​The emotional cost of constantly "performing" ​Why children often collapse emotionally after school ​How families, teachers, and friends can create spaces where neurodivergent people no longer need to pretend ​ Whether you're neurodivergent yourself, a parent, an educator, or simply someone who wants to understand others more deeply, this episode offers research, reflection, and hope. Because sometimes the greatest gift we can give another person is the freedom to simply be themselves. Good night... and happy listening.

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The Exhaustion Nobody Sees: Understanding Masking in Neurodivergent Lives


Why do some autistic people and people with ADHD seem to "hold it together" all day—only to completely fall apart once they get home?


In this compassionate episode of StJohn-On-Air, I explore the hidden emotional labour of masking (also known as camouflaging): the effort many neurodivergent people invest in hiding their natural behaviours to fit into a world that often misunderstands them.


Drawing on the work of Dr. Laura Hull, Dr. Devon Price, Dr. Damian Milton, Dr. Catherine Crompton, Dr. Tony Attwood, Dr. Luke Beardon, Dr. Daniel Siegel, and Carl Rogers, I discuss:

  • ​What masking really is—and why it develops
  • ​Why many autistic people and people with ADHD mask from childhood
  • ​The emotional cost of constantly "performing"
  • ​Why children often collapse emotionally after school
  • ​How families, teachers, and friends can create spaces where neurodivergent people no longer need to pretend
  • ​

Whether you're neurodivergent yourself, a parent, an educator, or simply someone who wants to understand others more deeply, this episode offers research, reflection, and hope.


Because sometimes the greatest gift we can give another person is the freedom to simply be themselves.


Good night... and happy listening.


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