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Comedy

Simon Mayo's Confessions

Bauer Media

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

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  • 30 episodes
  • weekly
  • Avg 41 min
  • English

Episodes 30

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  • S7 · E39
    May 22 · 45 min

    Don’t go chasing waterfalls & other tales

    Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for a vintage school-days reckoning, a Wembley fishbone emergency, lockdown jigsaw vengeance, and a fairground waterslide disaster. Nigel relives the wild early-80s logic of collective punishment after a playground scuffle leaves a classmate dangling from a fence — and an innocent kid caught in the mix for reporting stolen trainers. Then Helen’s 1987 FA Cup final is overshadowed by a bone stuck in her throat, a dad who won’t miss the match, and a lifesaving carton of Ribena. Plus: Flora steals one crucial jigsaw piece from her cheating ex, and Rick’s Water Boggan sends a furious passenger out drenched… without the dinghy. Got a confession? confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

  • S7 · E38
    May 15 · 42 min

    All day long, all day long on the chaise lounge & other tales

    Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for an episode full of sibling sabotage, supermarket shame, and the perils of damp underpants. Tim admits to a targeted reign of terror on his little brother. John’s 1999 CFAX football obsession ends in disaster, Richard loses control of some “loose grapes” at Sutton Safeway, and Mike’s sixth-form skinny-dipping leaves a very suspicious puddle in maths. Got a confession? confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

  • S7 · E37
    May 8 · 46 min

    Put the kettle on and make some tea & other tales

    Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Collective for another batch of confessions. In a classic from the crypt, a lonely trucker accepts one Guinness too many… then points a hopeful Beryl to entirely the wrong big red lorry. Then it’s Jan’s rabbit escape that ends in an axe, a fingertip flap, and a grandad who chooses bunny retrieval over first aid. Plus: a prison officer’s catastrophic coat-sniffing moment, and a first job interview ruined by dog poo, a blocked loo, and Captain Red Braces. Got a confession? confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

  • S7 · E36
    May 1 · 41 min

    Hit me with your rhythm stick & other tales

    Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the collective for a week of blocked sinks, fake hospital letters, and staff training-day chaos. First, Susie’s raspberry-peach smoothie turns into a fermented crime scene that takes out the call-centre kitchenette. Then Jeanette commits peak springtime mischief by forging a hospital letter recommending “Morris dancing therapy” for her grumpy husband’s dodgy knee. Plus, Maurice’s 1966 snow-sculpture disaster, and Stan’s drama-teacher mate who sleepwalks into an unwanted performance. Got a confession? confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

  • S7 · E35
    April 24 · 45 min

    It’s all too beautiful & other tales

    Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for an episode featuring village newsletters, VHS carnage and a cigarette-based science experiment that absolutely shouldn’t be repeated. First, nine-year-old James “helps” his vicar dad with a community email… Then Rebecca admits she turned a brand-new VHS player into a Hot Wheels garage, and let her little brother take the blame. Plus: Andy’s weapon-grade party-popper cigarettes, and a micro-school teacher with the strangest problem of all. Got a confession? confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

  • S7 · E34
    April 17 · 29 min

    Confessions from the Crypt Special

    Step into the confessional for a special delve into the crypt for this week's episode of Simon Mayo's Confessions! First: a Devon carnival prank goes full folk‑horror when a lovingly crafted coffin is launched into a river… and drifts 20 miles into the local paper. Then a “helpful” son‑in‑law turns “bingo” into “strip club” on his mother‑in‑law’s phone — with an email to a politician as the punchline. Plus: a dad accidentally cosplays as a hotshot surgeon (socks included), and a twin‑buggy wisecrack that haunts a marriage. Got a confession? confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

  • S7 · E33
    April 10 · 40 min

    Beep beep, beep beep, yeah! & other tales

    Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Collective for a week of stains, spirits and seriously questionable decisions First up, a gem from the crypt: Soviet-era Ukraine, super-strength homemade vodka, and a flock of geese who get so hammered they’re mistaken for dead… until they reappear very much alive, very naked, and very honky. Then Richard admits to provoking the Tokoloshi in 1970s South Africa. Mr P's confession involves 15 litres of carpet glue and one blamed child, and Mark & Elaine’s enjoy a drive‑thru… in an imaginary car. Got a confession? confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

  • S7 · E32
    April 3 · 47 min

    Missionary Impossible & other tales

    Landing in your inbox on Good Friday (or whenever you’re brave enough to press play), Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective are back with Parish Notice Board gossip, five-star reviews, and a Not For Broadcast pile that should probably come with protective gloves. First: a wholesome family holiday in Cornwall goes slightly… medicinal when a sleep-deprived dad reaches for teething gel in the dark and finds something very much meant for the other end of the baby. Then we head to Venezuela for Missionary Impossible: cockroaches, bug spray, matches, a fireball, and the discovery that “safety bucket” can become “flaming water”. Plus: canal piracy involving stolen mooring pins, and a Christmas morning rest-home mystery featuring a missing Jane… found in the car. Got a confession? confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

  • S7 · E31
    March 27 · 43 min

    The green green grass of home & other tales

    Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo, Sister Suzi, Sister Holly and Brother Matthew for another round of sins, five-star reviews, parish noticeboard gossip… and the dreaded Not For Broadcast pile. First, Tony’s half-term Lanzarote breakfast goes nuclear when a Tabasco bottle takes a Tom Daley-style dive into the Rice Krispies. Then Helen, armed with a hospital litre of water and perimenopausal panic, misreads a sign and accidentally storms the gents… with a bold new accent. Plus: We also get an accidental repeat of Jeff's confession, where he get mistaken for a blind man (Father Simon needs to work on his filling system) And Greenkeeper R attempts naked mowing in Sweden… Got a confession? Send it to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk.

  • S7 · E30
    March 20 · 41 min

    Can you dig it? Yes, you can & other tales

    Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for another week of packed confessions. First up Adam relives the three-channel era and, in a strop over Corrie, does the unthinkable… and plunges an entire village into a total blackout. Louise’s Brighton hen-do goes from bubbles to life drawing to accidentally gifting a homeless man cake… and a bag full of very questionable sketches. Guaca-mole wages fertiliser-based war on mum’s “sacred oval”, and Jay learns why you never, ever feed seagulls near a car park. If you have a confession send it to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Showing 21–30 of 30 episodes