Sex, Love & Elephants with Dr. Cheryl

Cheryl Fraser

Ever notice that everything you thought would make you happy ever after...didn’t?

Me too. Turns out Shaun Cassidy was NOT my soulmate, orgasms only last a few seconds, and happiness is an inside job.

As a psychologist, Buddhist teacher, sex therapist & author of Buddha’s Bedroom my mission is to kick you off the couch and into your unfolded life. But first, you gotta meet your elephant. So let’s go.

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20 episodes
Updated August 3

Episodes20

Newest first

August 3 · 33 min
The Two Keys to Your Erotic Engine: Rekindling Desire After Years Together
💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time) How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great? Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner. ✅ 5 video lessons ✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy ✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time 👉 Start My Free Course Now "How common is it for long-term couples to stop having sex?" "Why don't I feel like having sex with my partner anymore?" "How do I turn my partner on when neither of us is in the mood?" On this episode of Sex, Love & Elephants, Dr. Cheryl Fraser tackles the topic almost nobody talks about: the 30 to 43% of long-term couples who are in a low-sex or sexless relationship. Cheryl breaks down the two "keys" to what she calls your erotic engine — the body of arousal and the mind of desire — using her own 20-year-old Miata as the perfect analogy for a body sitting in neutral. She also unpacks why the old "spontaneous desire" model most of us grew up expecting doesn't hold up for most long-term couples, why responsive desire (and yes, scheduled sex) is the research-backed antidote, and shares the remarkable story of a couple in their 70s who hadn't seen each other naked in 30 years — and turned it all around. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: (00:00) Why 30–43% of long-term couples are having little or no sex — and the three words Cheryl says to every one of them: you are normal (02:45) A first look at Cheryl's upcoming course, From Sexless to Sensual, plus the old "linear" model of arousal most of us were taught (06:03) The first key to your erotic engine: the body of arousal, and why your body is like a cold sports car sitting in a tent (08:56) The second key: the mind of desire, and how to use anticipation and language to turn your partner on before you're even in the same room (12:13) Busting the myth that men always want sex more than women (15:01) Cheryl's own coming-of-age story and what it taught her about consent, pacing, and knowing your own body (18:14) What changed after menopause — and the real difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire (21:04) The couple who hadn't seen each other naked in 30 years, and how they rebuilt intimacy step by step (23:55) Why most long-term couples start lovemaking from a place of "sexual neutrality" — and why that's not a red flag (26:53) Reframing "normal": why waiting for spontaneous desire can mean waiting forever (29:41) Today's LoveByte: make sensuality a hobby, not an afterthought Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 26, 2026 and we begin in June 5th 2026! click HERE to join the wait list! Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. ON Saturday, May 16 from 10am–1pm PST join me, Dr. Cheryl, live on Zoom for a special FREE Relationship Reboot Workshop designed to help you take stock, reconnect, and create your next step as a couple. Previously only offered inside Become Passion, this live workshop will help you identify what’s working, what’s struggling, and where to focus! Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let's Connect! About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz
July 20 · 35 min
Kayaks Are Divorce Boats: What a Wilderness Trip Reveals About Love Under Pressure
💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time) How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great? Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner. ✅ 5 video lessons ✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy ✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time 👉 Start My Free Course Now "Why do I treat my partner worse than I treat my friends?" "Why do couples fight more under stress than everyday life?" "How do I stop assuming my partner sees things the way I do?" On this episode of Sex, Love & Elephants, Dr. Cheryl Fraser takes you along on two very different kayaking trips — one a whisper-fight-filled disaster with her husband, the other a hard-won triumph with her best friend — to explore why so many of us treat our partner worse than we'd ever treat a stranger or a friend. Cheryl unpacks why pressure exposes the cracks in a relationship, how a simple communication habit she calls "looking at the other side of the clock" can defuse conflict before it starts, and what the fears we "pack" into our relationships as commitment deepens really say about us. Along the way, she shares sobering research on divorce regret, a hard truth about how couples therapists are (and aren't) trained, and real stories of couples who turned their relationships around after decades of struggle. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: (00:00) Why Dr. Cheryl calls kayaks "divorce boats" and the story of the trip that started it all (04:05) The whisper-fight in the kayak — and what it reveals about how we treat our partner under pressure (07:25) "The other side of the clock": the simple question that turns conflict into cooperation (11:26) A second trip puts the lesson to the test — and a couple proves they're not a "divorce boat" (15:32) Why we're often kinder to friends than to our own partner, and how to change the pattern (19:40) The truth about couples therapy: what to look for — and what to avoid — when seeking help (24:16) The fears we "pack" into a relationship as commitment deepens (28:00) Real couples' stories of turning things around after decades of disconnection (31:07) The surprising research on divorce regret — and why giving up isn't always the answer (33:28) Today's LoveByte: how you handle the cracks that show up under pressure Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let's Connect! About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz
July 6 · 40 min
Best of SLE: How to Deal With a Reluctant Partner
💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time) How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great? Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner. ✅ 5 video lessons ✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy ✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time 👉 Start My Free Course Now "My partner won’t go to therapy" "I'm doing all the work in the relationship" "Can you save a relationship alone?" This classic episode of Sex, Love & Elephants dives deep into one of the most common and painful relationship struggles: what to do when your partner just won’t meet you halfway. Whether your sweetheart refuses to communicate, avoids tough conversations, or simply won’t go to therapy, Can you save a relationship alone? What happens when you’re doing all the work in the relationship? Is it even possible to rebuild connection when your partner thinks nothing is wrong? With raw personal stories, real-life couple transformations, and actionable guidance, I teach you how even one partner—armed with the right tools—can begin to shift the dynamic. It starts with changing how you approach the tough stuff. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: (01:09) What to do when your partner won’t go to therapy—or refuses to talk (04:46) The power of negative thinking: how your mind can make things feel worse than they are (10:40) How your childhood attachment style may be shaping your relationship experience (17:11) Why some partners resist change: fear, avoidance, and feeling blamed (26:14) Real talk: How to bring up hard conversations without pushing them further away (35:24) The key to rebuilding connection, even if you're doing the work alone (38:12) Today’s LoveByte Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let's Connect! About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz
June 22 · 41 min
Best of SLE: Dr. Cheryl & Sexual Health Doc Lori Brotto Explore Better Sex Through Mindfulness
💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time) How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great? Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner. ✅ 5 video lessons ✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy ✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time 👉 Start My Free Course Now “Can meditation make me a better lover?” “Is great sex even possible in a long term relationship?” “Why aren’t I horny for my spouse anymore?” This classic episode of Sex, Love & Elephants is part of a series about the rumored demise of long-term love. I'll be sharing my own expertise on the subject as well as interviewing experts in the field about love, sex, and communication. Dr. Lori Brotto is an internationally recognized leader in sexual health research and has mentored nearly 180 trainees. She has also spent time evaluating psychological interventions for sexual dysfunction and genital pain, which collectively impact ⅓ of women. In recognition of her contributions, she holds a Canada Research Chair in women’s sexual health, has received recent awards in mentoring junior faculty, excellent public education through media, book awards, and is listed among the top 2% cited scientists by Stanford/Elsevier. Ready to rate your relationship? Take Cheryl’s Passion Quiz today and see how you and your honey rank. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: (02:23) On average, we're having far less sex today than we were 20 years ago (05:55) If don’t experience overwhelming lust for your spouse anymore, you’re totally normal (10:50) Scheduled sex might not feel romantic, but it’s more romantic than no sex at all (22:39) Mindfulness as a practice of being present is extremely useful for sexual satisfaction (36:36) Your relationship is normal if you're only having sex on occasion or even if you’re not making love at all (38:46) Today’s LoveByte Connect with Dr. Lori Brotto: eSense The Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook Better Sex Through Mindfulness by Lori A Brotto Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let's Connect! About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz
June 1 · 9 min
Marriage 911— Don’t Give Up
Revive the communication, romance, and sex in your relationship! This May 26-30 I’m hosting four sessions of my FREE online Passion Masterclass. Sign up HERE and learn the 3 Keys To a Great Relationship. There will also be an extensive Q&A for Dr. Cheryl to answer YOUR questions. Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 26, 2026— click HERE to join the wait list! If you’re still not sure, check out some real testimonials from couples just like you and your sweetheart. Marriage 911! What's your emergency? “We are miserable.When do you know to give up? Or is there a chance this relationship can be saved?” ” Let’s face it, staying in love over the long haul is difficult. You may feel you have fallen out of love and you argue all the time, or so it seems. Attraction and desire may feel non-existent. But don’t give up. There are proven steps that can help you renovate your relationship. It takes effort to make long term love work - and I am here to help. On today’s Best Of episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll learn that reviving the love, communication and yes—even the desire in your relationship is possible. Whatever you and your partner are experiencing, even when it feels like all hope is lost, it is still possible to begin again In This Episode, You’ll Learn: (0:11) Falling in love is easy, but staying in love over the long term takes mindfulness, effort, and dedication (3:03) The Become Passion Program involves eight weeks of lessons, live coaching calls with Dr. Cheryl where she answers your confidential questions, and bonuses trrainings with other experts in relationships and sexuality (5:07) The number one predictor of health, happiness, longevity, and more, is the quality of our romantic relationship with our companion - so work on it! (6:13) The Become Passion program is an immersion 3 month program and we do the real work. It’s not easy…but it IS effective. Let’s create the change you desire, starting next week! Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl's book Buddha's Bedroom is a great resource! Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let's Connect! About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz
May 25 · 12 min
Marriage 911— Sex & Aging
Revive the communication, romance, and sex in your relationship! This May 26-30 I’m hosting four sessions of my FREE online Passion Masterclass. Sign up HERE and learn the 3 Keys To a Great Relationship. There will also be an extensive Q&A for Dr. Cheryl to answer YOUR questions. Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 26, 2026— click HERE to join the wait list! If you’re still not sure, check out some real testimonials from couples just like you and your sweetheart. Marriage 911! What's your emergency? My partner and I are getting older and our sex life just isn’t what it used to be. What’s happening to us? As we age, we all experience changes in our desire, arousal, and body image. In fact, there are changes in what feels like almost everything to do with our sexual life—whether it’s with our partner or with ourselves. On today’s Best Of episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll learn that even if you’ve experienced some big changes to your sex life as you’ve gotten older, there are solutions to the trouble you’re facing. Listen carefully and you’ll hear the hope. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: (01:30) A satisfying sex life for a couple that has at least one male bodied person in it doesn’t have to revolve around a firm erection (04:54) Women can still have great sex post-menopause—it might just look different than before (06:17) It's easy to give up when your bodies aren't responding well, but there are solutions out there (08:21)Sex is a way of connecting erotically, emotionally, and spiritually with our partner and it’s a vital part of life and love Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl's book Buddha's Bedroom is a great resource! Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let's Connect! About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz
May 18 · 12 min
Marriage 911— Roommates, Not Lovers
Revive the communication, romance, and sex in your relationship! This May 26-30 I’m hosting four sessions of my FREE online Passion Masterclass. Sign up HERE and learn the 3 Keys To a Great Relationship. There will also be an extensive Q&A to have YOUR questions answered! Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 26, 2026— click HERE to join the wait list! Still not sure? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. Marriage 911! What's your emergency? “The thrill is gone!” “I love my partner, but I'm not in love with them any more.” “We’re no longer lovers—we’re merely roommates.” If any of these relationship emergencies sound familiar, you’re in the right place. On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll learn that your relationship isn’t over, even if it feels like all the spark has long fizzled out. The house, the kids, and the bills can all overwhelm your romance, but they don’t have to take priority over passion. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Falling out of love and into Marriage Incorporated is insidious (03:43) Make your love life your hobby (06:13) Great date nights don’t have to be fancy or expensive—but they are so important to schedule (08:28) Big change only happens when we take action (10:27) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect! Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram
May 14 · 12 min
Marriage 911—After the Affair
ON Saturday, May 16 from 10am–1pm PST join me, Dr. Cheryl, live on Zoom for a special FREE Relationship Reboot Workshop designed to help you take stock, reconnect, and create your next step as a couple. Previously only offered inside Become Passion, this live workshop will help you identify what’s working, what’s struggling, and where to focus! Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 26, 2026— click HERE to join the wait list! Still not sure? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. Marriage 911! What's your emergency? HELP! How can I ever get over the pain of my partner’s affair? Believe it or not, it is possible to recover from a betrayal in your relationship. It may not be easy, but great relationships always revolve around intention. On today’s Best Of episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you everything you need to know about affairs—and what you and your partner can do in the aftermath to try and reestablish trust in your relationship. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: (02:18) There are sexual affairs and emotional affairs and they can be equally devastating (03:29) An emotional affair is when you're sharing intimate hopes and dreams with someone who's not your spouse and your spouse doesn’t know (06:49) All sympathy tends to go to the person who’s been cheated on, but we’re all just bozos on the bus who make mistakes (09:40) No one can earn our trust, they can only choose to act in a trustworthy manner (10:33) Very few things hurt as much as being betrayed, but there is hope Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl's book Buddha's Bedroom is a great resource! Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let's Connect! About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz
May 11 · 9 min
Marriage 911—Verbal Abuse
ON Saturday, May 16 from 10am–1pm PST join me, Dr. Cheryl, live on Zoom for a special FREE Relationship Reboot Workshop designed to help you take stock, reconnect, and create your next step as a couple. Previously only offered inside Become Passion, this live workshop will help you identify what’s working, what’s struggling, and where to focus! Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 26, 2026— click HERE to join the wait list! Still not sure? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. Marriage 911! What's your emergency? So, you’ve just had a flooded argument… Even if you didn't resort to overt verbal abuse like yelling, swearing, or being especially cruel, you know that you said irrational things. But here’s the truth: It's not entirely your fault. When we’re dysregulated, we’re not rational. On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you about verbal abuse. Verbal abuse has the power to make us spiral—we go down the dark rabbit hole and end up rehashing every old wound, never seeming to get out of that same repeating argument. It isn’t always obvious but it does occur way too often—and it can absolutely destroy your relationship. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: (04:29) Verbal abuse can be bickering, criticizing and nitpicking, and using controlling language (04:57) Giving your partner the silent treatment or a severe lack of communication can also feel abusive (07:18) Learning to self regulate our emotions is one of the most important things we can do for our relationships (07:58) Be kind to your friend… And if you snap, apologize! Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl's book Buddha's Bedroom is a great resource! Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let's Connect! About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz
May 8 · 11 min
Marriage 911—Is Divorce the Answer?
ON Saturday, May 16 from 10am–1pm PST join me, Dr. Cheryl, live on Zoom for a special FREE ⁠Relationship Reboot Workshop⁠ designed to help you take stock, reconnect, and create your next step as a couple. Previously only offered inside Become Passion, this live workshop will help you identify what’s working, what’s struggling, and where to focus! Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 26, 2026— click HERE to join the wait list! Still not sure? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. Marriage 911! What's your emergency? Maybe you feel like it’s time for divorce, or you’ve fallen out of head-over-heels love, or maybe you’re even trying to recover from one of you stepping out on your relationship. Whatever it is, every long term relationship runs into big obstacles… It’s who we are and what we do together to surmount those obstacles that really matters in the end. On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you about some of the biggest pain points a couple can have. That includes being on the edge of divorce, struggling with verbal abuse, attempting to recover from an affair, and that dreaded “I love you… but I'm not IN love with you, anymore” feeling. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: (05:04) Feeling alone and lonely in a relationship is very common (05:26) Complacency can ruin a relationship (06:54) Sensuality and sexuality is a beautiful, powerful, important part of who we are as a couple (07:42) 50% of second marriages fail because root problems aren’t being addressed Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl's book Buddha's Bedroom is a great resource! Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let's Connect! About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz
May 4 · 55 min
Make your Mate a Soulmate: A Conversation with Dr. Cheryl & Love Alchemist Arielle Ford
💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time) How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great? Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner. ✅ 5 video lessons ✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy ✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time 👉 Start My Free Course Now "Is my partner truly my soulmate or is it something we create together?" "How do I find the upside of my partner's imperfections?" "How do you rebuild trust after betrayal?" On today's episode of Sex, Love & Elephants, I'm joined by bestselling author and love alchemist Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret, Wabi Sabi Love, Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate, and her debut novel, The Love Thief. Arielle and I explore the messy, magnificent reality of long-term love, learning to love the perfectly imperfect person in front of you, and dive into why soulmates aren't found, they're made. In This Episode, You'll Learn: (01:18) About wabi-sabi love and how an ancient Japanese aesthetic can transform the way you see your partner's most irritating habits (06:11) The physical and emotional toll of running a negative story about your partner (09:14) Why you're going to die with your core wounds and why that's liberating news for your relationship (13:20) Why butterflies are nature's trick and love is a daily behavior and choice (23:09) You probably already have many soulmates in your life right now (31:44) About The Love Thief, Arielle's debut novel based on actual events (38:30) The physical and psychological devastation of intimate betrayal mirrors PTSD (52:13) Today's LoveByte Connect with Arielle: YouTube The Love Thief by Arielle Ford @Arielleford_author on Instagram Substack Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 2026! Click here to join the waitlist. Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. 💖 Check Out My Free Course Today! Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl's book Buddha's Bedroom is a great resource! Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let's Connect! About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz
April 20 · 1 hr 4 min
Love, Loss & Letting Go: a Conversation with Dr. Cheryl & Transformational Speaker Kute Blackson
💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time) How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great? Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner. ✅ 5 video lessons ✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy ✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time 👉 Start My Free Course Now "Is surrendering to life a sign of weakness?" "How do I stop resisting the painful things that happen in life?" "What does real gratitude look like?" On today's episode of Sex, Love & Elephants, I’m joined by world-renowned transformational speaker Kute Blackson, author of You Are the One and The Magic of Surrender. Kute and I share a soul-stirring conversation about one of the most misunderstood concepts in personal growth: surrender. We’re exploring why true surrender isn't weakness but radical courage and why it may just be the most powerful thing you can do for your love life and your life as a whole. In This Episode, You'll Learn: (01:29) Being in pain or feeling lost takes tremendous courage (07:27) The real meaning of surrender isn’t giving up or waving the white flag, it's letting go of the illusion of control and who you "think" you should be (12:00) Kute's personal story of heartbreak: how losing the relationship he thought was "the one" forced him to surrender and led him directly to his wife (20:18) Grief is the portal you must walk through before true surrender is possible. (36:33) What toddlers know about surrender that adults have forgotten and how watching his son helped Kute understand unconditional feeling (39:29) Why the most ecstatic lovemaking happens when you stop controlling and start flowing with the energy (46:31) The 8 levels of gratitude: from feeling grateful for what you have, to gratitude for what hasn't happened yet, to gratitude for the precious human incarnation itself (01:02:26) Today's LoveByte Sign up here for Kute’s free course on gratitude If you are interested in spending twelve days with Kute in Bali for a transformational workshop, learn more here Get Kute's books: You Are the One and The Magic of Surrender Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 2026! Click here to join the waitlist. Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. 💖 Check Out My Free Course Today! Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl's book Buddha's Bedroom is a great resource! Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let's Connect! About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz
April 6 · 26 min
Fall Back in Love on a Birthday Date
💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time) How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great? Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner. ✅ 5 video lessons ✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy ✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time 👉 Start My Free Course Now “How do I plan a meaningful birthday for my partner that strengthens our relationship?” “Why does my long-term relationship feel more like a business than romance?” “What is the key to keeping passion alive in a long-term relationship?” On today’s episode of Sex, Love & Elephants, I’m fresh off a romantic birthday getaway to Tofino, British Columbia and I’m using my experience to create a challenge for you. I’m sharing the story of my own birthday celebration, talking about the three keys to lasting passion, and issuing a 12-month birthday challenge to couples everywhere, complete with a prize for those who take me up on it! One simple but powerful question anchors this episode: What did you do for your partner's last birthday? Whatever your answer, I want you to do better—and I’ll show you exactly how. In This Episode, You'll Learn: (04:35) Birthdays matter even if your partner "doesn't care,” the real point is making them feel chosen (06:00) The 12-month birthday challenge: how to plan something meaningful that truly lights your partner up, from a $0 backyard picnic to an African safari (09:18) My own surprise birthday trip for my hubby: grizzly bears, a glacier helicopter tour, hot springs, and horses (11:40) Novelty is an aphrodisiac and even one night away from home can shift your whole dynamic (18:51) The Passion Triangle: Intimacy, Thrill, and Sensuality—and why "Thrill" is exactly what birthdays were made for (22:00) The sobering stat: 30–40% of long-term couples aren't having sex at all and what my free masterclass covers on this topic (24:30) Today's LoveByte: How to fall in love over and over again with the one you're already with Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com with a picture of your birthday date and we’ll send you a prize! Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 2026! Click here to join the waitlist. Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner.💖Check Out My Free Course Today! Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let’s Connect! About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz
March 23 · 30 min
Knowledge Is Not Power: How to Actually Create Lasting Change in Your Relationship
💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time) How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great? Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner. ✅ 5 video lessons ✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy ✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time 👉 Start My Free Course Now "Do my actions match what matters to me?" "Are we stuck running the household instead of nurturing our love?" "Dr. Cheryl, how do I start taking real action for my relationship?" Welcome back! I’m officially back in action with fresh episodes and today, I’m coming in hot with a brand new relationship performance review. In this episode of Sex, Love & Elephants, I’m challenging you to look honestly at how much time and energy you're actually investing in your romantic relationship and how closely your actions match your stated priorities. (Spoiler: for most of us, there's a gap!) The research is clear: the quality of your committed relationship is the single greatest predictor of life satisfaction, health, meaning, and overall happiness. Yet most of us spend more time scrolling our phones, maintaining our careers, and playing chauffeur to the kids than we do nurturing the one relationship that matters most. I’m giving you the tools to change that, starting today. In This Episode, You'll Learn: (02:00) Why the quality of your romantic relationship is the #1 predictor of a life well-lived (05:30) The difference between "relationship incorporated" and actually being a couple — and why so many of us are stuck in the former (04:27) How to do an honest relationship performance review on yourself (13:46) How many hours a week you're really spending on your relationship (and why the answer might shock you) (23:05) Why "knowledge is power" is balderdash — and what actually creates change (11:30) Practical action steps: dates, morning rituals, getaways, and how to make your sex life a priority without killing the spark (27:48) Today's LoveByte Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 2026! Click here to join the waitlist. Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. 💖Check Out My Free Course Today! Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let’s Connect! About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz
March 9 · 16 min
Best of Sex, Love & Elephants: Don’t Be Nasty! Top Three Ways to Show Your Partner Kindness in 2026
💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time) How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great? Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner. ✅ 5 video lessons ✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy ✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time 👉 Start My Free Course Now “Dr. Cheryl, how can I be kinder to my sweetie?” “Why do we speak to each other so rudely and sarcastically?” “How do I stop myself from being so nasty all the time?” Are you kind to your sweetheart? Or do you sometimes find yourself speaking to them with a nastiness you don’t even recognize? It may be hard to admit, but it’s not uncommon to find yourself speaking to your mate far more unkindly than they deserve… And the truth is, you’re so much better than that. On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you just a few of the ways you can spend 2026 being kinder and speaking more fairly to your honey. Today, I want to get really real about something that I’m guilty of—and I suspect it’s something quite a few of you might be guilty of, too. It can be easy to find yourself acting sarcastic and insulting toward your mate, but we always have the choice to choose kindness. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Being rude to our loved ones has become more normalized, but that does not mean you have to take it on (05:36) You have the capacity to stop being nasty at any second (08:10) If you do find yourself being nasty, ask for a do-over and begin again (09:51) Some of us can be unkind and critical without even meaning to (13:55) Today’s LoveByte (14:44) Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 2026! Click here to join the waitlist. Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner.💖Check Out My Free Course Today! Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let’s Connect! About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz
February 23 · 26 min
Best of Sex, Love & Elephants: Dr. Cheryl’s Top Three Tips for Building a Healthy Long Term Relationship
💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time) How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great? Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner. ✅ 5 video lessons ✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy ✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time 👉 Start My Free Course Now “How can I improve my relationship?” “All my partner and I do is fight—will we ever stop?” “How can my sweetheart and I bring back the spark we used to have?” Keeping a long term relationship healthy is hard work—there’s no way of getting around that. But that doesn’t mean that having a strong, compassionate, loving, lasting relationship is impossible… It simply means that you both need the right tools in your toolbelt to build it. On this Sex, Love, and Elephants rewind, I’m teaching you my top three tips for building a healthy relationship with actual staying power. Great relationships don’t just happen by chance. Today, I’m covering a huge part of the foundation of my relationship philosophy: the passion triangle of intimacy, thrill, and sensuality. A triangle is the most stable structure known to man—so why wouldn’t you want to base your relationship on one? In This Episode, You’ll Learn: (06:23) Conflict and conflict management are an unavoidable part of all relationships (11:35) We’re hardwired to find novelty exciting—that’s why new relationships have that honeymoon phase (15:51) Thrill needs to be cultivated (21:33) We are often more sexually adventurous early on in a relationship when we have less to lose (24:29) Today’s LoveByte Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 2026! Click here to join the waitlist. Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. 💖Check Out My Free Course Today! Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect! Website - Receive Weekly Science-based Tips and Techniques from Dr Cheryl Follow @DrCherylFraser on Instagram Youtube
February 9 · 21 min
Best of Sex, Love & Elephants: Three Unusual Valentine’s Date Ideas to Make Love Intentional
💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time) How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great? Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner. ✅ 5 video lessons ✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy ✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time 👉 Start My Free Course Now “How can I make Valentine’s Day more special?” “Valentine’s Day only brings up bad memories, how can I change that?” “Is there really a way to make a commercialized, overblown holiday romantic?” Show of hands—who here hates Valentine’s Day? It's a heck of a lot of pressure to pull out the greatest romantic experience possible and to do a better job than Hollywood, isn’t it? Well here’s a little secret: While those romcoms and tv shows and romance novels might feel swoon worthy, none of it is real. On this Sex, Love, and Elephants rewind, I’m giving you three unusual ideas for Valentine’s Day dates that don’t suck and allow you to make your love intentional. February 14. Cupid, heart shaped boxes of terrible chocolate, a last minute cheesy card and a stuffed animal from the local pharmacy… We’ve all been there. But today, I’m teaching you a way to celebrate Valentine's Day that's a little out of the box and that honors the true meaning of the day. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: (01:20) Valentine's Day is a great excuse to do something warm and wonderful for your special person (06:52) Couples put more effort into being romantic when a relationship is just starting (08:08) First tip - You don’t have to be Shakespeare to write your partner a love letter (13:31) Second tip - Paying it forward to another couple - giving THEM the gift of love - can be an incredibly romantic way to celebrate (15:40) Third Tip - Plan Valentine’s in July - NOW. You don’t have to wait until February 14th to celebrate your love! (19:10) Today’s LoveByte 💖Check Out My Free Course Today! Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect! Website - Receive Weekly Science-based Tips and Techniques from Dr Cheryl Follow @DrCherylFraser on Instagram Youtube
February 2 · 22 min
Best of Sex, Love & Elephants: Are you a Romance Dud? Try Dr. Cheryl’s 3 Tips for More Romance
💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time) How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great? Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner. ✅ 5 video lessons ✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy ✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time 👉 Start My Free Course Now “Is romance dead?” “How can I be sexier to my partner?” “Why isn’t finding a man as easy as the movies?” It's easy to be cynical about modern love. We’re so misled by the media, romcoms, and romance novels about what love should look like that it can be really dangerous to our relationships. We have this illusion that love and romance need to be a certain way, but the truth is that real life relationships are a whole lot different than what we see on the screen or read on the page. On this Sex, Love, and Elephants rewind, I’m teaching you my biggest tips to create and sustain romance between you and your partner through 2026 and beyond. When’s the last time you and your sweetheart really thought out of the box for a date night? What about exploring a whole new-to-you cuisine, stepping out of your typical movie genre box, or even learning to ice skate together (and sharing a laughing fit when you both end up on your bottoms!) It can be hard to get out of your comfortable rut, but branching out can bring some much needed spice and bonding time to a long term relationship. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: (00:40) The most important predictor of happiness, health, and well being in our lives is the health and happiness of our romantic relationship (03:38) Idealized portrayals of love can be damaging to our real life relationship (04:38) Date nights are a no-brainer and a non-negotiable (11:16) A great relationship is about taking action (12:09) Expressing gratitude lowers your heart rate and your stress response (16:18) Get off your butt and celebrate with your sweetheart (18:56) Today’s LoveByte 💖Check Out My Free Course Today! Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect! Website - Receive Weekly Science-based Tips and Techniques from Dr Cheryl Follow @DrCherylFraser on Instagram Youtube
January 19 · 24 min
Best of Sex, Love & Elephants: Stop Ugly Fighting! 3 Tips to Argue Effectively
💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time) How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great? Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner. ✅ 5 video lessons ✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy ✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time 👉 Start My Free Course Now “How can I stop fighting with my spouse?” “Why are my partner and I constantly disagreeing?” “Is it okay if my honey and I never argue?” If you’re a human being who loves another human being, do you truly think it's healthy to never argue with your sweetheart? To never disagree, never have a tense conversation or one that leads to you feeling anxious or worried or hurt or angry? On this Sex, Love, and Elephants rewind, I’m teaching you why a long term relationship with no fighting or arguing is one giant red flag. When you’re arguing with your partner, you literally cannot know their side of things. You can’t see their side of the clock, you can’t visualize what they're seeing—they have a different background, a different family upbringing, different hopes and dreams. It’s this simple, powerful idea that often becomes one of the most important teachings for couples in my Become Passion program. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: (02:00) Couples who don’t have conflict are avoiding the tough topics (09:38) One of the best ways to improve your communication is to take a step back from what's happening in the moment (12:40) To argue effectively, you and your honey need to agree on a “time out” signal (14:28) When we're triggered and irrational, we are being hijacked by our emotions (19:30) We make mistakes and our partners make mistakes—learn to apologize like a pro (21:09) Today’s LoveByte 💖Check Out My Free Course Today! Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect! Website - Receive Weekly Science-based Tips and Techniques from Dr Cheryl Follow @DrCherylFraser on Instagram Youtube
January 5 · 22 min
Best of Sex, Love & Elephants: Take the New Year’s Plunge
💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time)How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great? Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner. ✅ 5 video lessons ✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy ✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time 👉 Start My Free Course Now Where has the passion gone in my marriage? Why don’t my partner and I have sex anymore? How can I get my spouse to show more interest? When you think about failure in terms of your relationship, what does it mean to you? Is it separation? Moving out? The big “D”? All those things can feel like failure… But what about when you and your partner start to move into Marriage Incorporated territory, where your relationship runs much more like a business than a romance? On this classic episode of Sex, Love & Elephants, I’m asking some very important questions for you and your partner to answer going into the new year. Today, I’m giving you a little assignment to take some time with your honey to sit down and really discuss this past year in earnest. Afterall, without a little introspection, how can we predict our own success or failure? One year from now… How do you want to feel about your relationship? What would success feel like? What would it look like? What are you doing better? How have you improved? In what ways? Are you happier? In what ways is your partner happier? Are you making sure they feel as precious as they are, even when life gets in the way? How do you want to feel? What do you want to be? Who do you want to be in your relationship? 💖Check Out My Free Course Today! Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect! Website - Receive Weekly Science-based Tips and Techniques from Dr Cheryl Follow @DrCherylFraser on Instagram Youtube