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Ruwando Podcast

Ruwando

Archetypal masculinity, relationship polarity, practical philosophy and stuff. With Ruwan Meepagala and sometimes guests.

ruwando.substack.com

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#221
May 28 · 53 min
Women are soul-detectors
How she feels around you is a reflection of how you feel inside. Many men dissociate from their unconscious in order to meet the needs of the relationship and family. And then get confused as to why the wife is less happy the more he sacrifices. She's picking up on the state of your unconscious. Your Anima. Ep 219 covered her side of Jung's Quaternity. This episode covers yours--the Anima. Article version: https://ruwando.substack.com/p/women-are-soul-detectors Need help with your relationship? Fill this out and I'll get back to you: https://ruwando.com/relationship-fix Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
#220
April 15 · 46 min
How to Patriarch: Your family = a micronation
Most fatherhood advice sucks. It's often coded for political stock characters. A few years ago, expecting my daughter, I made a running doc of fatherhood lessons I was picking up while researching for my History Of Man podcast. A family is a micronation. Therefore, a father is a nationbuilder. This is Part 1 of a new series. Article version: https://ruwando.substack.com/p/how-to-patriarch-your-family-a-micronation (To catch Parts 2-5 make sure you're subscribed) Are you a married father who could use help thriving in your marriage? Fill out this form and I'll give you my personal feedback: https://ruwando.com/relationship-fix My Masculine Archetype Challenge comes with a free 1hr coaching session with me: https://ruwando.com/archetype Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
#168
April 8 · 49 min
Atonement to the Father: Solving Conflicted Masculinity | 168
If you often oscillate between opposites: You’re too hard or too soft. Overconfident one day. Self-doubting the next. It may come down to your Father Wound… In Campbell’s Monomyth, the hero’s journey begins in leaving the Status Quo—the metaphorical home of your father. The hero (your ego) seeks out a mentor, or Secondary Father, to fill in the gaps of your masculinity left by your upbringing. This can be seen in the types of men you’re drawn to… Most men’s personal development stops there. But that’s not the end of the journey. Psychologically, it just marks the end of adolescence. Hence a generation of self-improvement junkies who are still bogged down by internal conflict. There’s a later stage on the Hero’s Journey that marks the end of this conflict: Atonement to the Father. Evolutionarily this pegs to adulthood. Becoming father yourself. I happened to record this episode a year into fatherhood. (2023.) I’ve learned things since then. I’ll be sharing them next week. This episode still holds up. It covers: * The synthesis of your primary vs. secondary fathers in your masculinity * The Prodigal Son parable deeper meaning * Making peace with past and dad (if only internally) New series on fatherhood lessons from history coming next week! Make sure you’re on the list: https://ruwando.substack.com/ Are you a father who wants to succeed in relationship and business? Message me. I have a new program for married dads. The 21 Day Masculine Archetype Challenge comes with a free 1hr coaching session with me: https://ruwando.com/archetype Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
#114
March 25 · 1 hr 14 min
Lambs and Eagles: Nietzsche's Master vs Slave Morality | 114
Each of us have a Master and Slave archetype within us. They represent two opposite ways of evaluating reality, and therefore making decisions. The more you operate from Master Morality, the more true you are being to your nature as a man. I break down Nietzsche's concept of Nobility here and how it relates to male biology, modern society, and expressing yourself as a man. This was originally recorded 5 years ago while I was awaiting the birth of my daughter. (I edited out the time-references though.) Archetype Challenge (comes with a free coaching session with me): ruwando.com/archetype Text of this post (and my newsletter) ruwando.substack.com(History of Man podcast which I mention in this episode is there too.) Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
#219
March 20 · 33 min
Why she makes no sense in arguments (and soon you won't care) | 219
You've been here before: She's upset and talking nonsense. Every male instinct in you wants to correct her contradictions (and prove YOU are right). It's a trap. Uncle Carl offers us a better mental model that makes all the nonsense make sense. Understanding it will help you 1) neutralizing her arguments, 2) handling her unconscious so that future arguments are less necessary. And be the Happy Genius of Your Household. Text version: ruwando.substack.com Btw, if you could some help in your relationship, fill out this form and I'll personally respond with my take: ruwando.com/relationship-fix Other stuff: Anabolic Psyche (hack brain chemistry) Masculine Archetype Challenge Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
#218
February 3 · 48 min
Freedom from Shame | 218
Your social brain "thinks" that if you are extra hard on yourself it will motivate you to do better. But the opposite is true: The more you make yourself feel bad, the more you unconsciously do things to justify bad feelings. Shame kills your mojo more than anything else. Kills performance. Disconnects you from your instincts and "soul." This episode is on freeing yourself from shame considering: * Evolutionary basis of this social emotion. * Why self-shaming backfires. (Transactional Analysis) * A simple but profound solution from the “Father of modern therapy,” Dr. Carl Rogers. ruwando.substack.com Anabolic Psyche course: go.anabolicpsyche.com (see Dopamine Detox add-on) If you're a married father who needs help in relationship, fill out this form and I'll help you out: https://ruwando.com/relationship-fix Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
#217
January 19 · 1 hr 2 min
Evolution of Men's Personal Development | 217
"Men's Personal Development" wasn't a thing even one generation ago. It became so due to shifts in culture and technology. It also is a lens on the changes in male collective consciousness. This episode analyzes the 4 recent iterations of men's work--culturally, psychologically, and technologically-- and what it says about where male psychology is headed. Article version: https://ruwando.substack.com/p/evolution-of-mens-personal-development Masculine Archetype Challenge: ruwando.com/archetype Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
#84
January 13 · 1 hr 2 min
John Gray: Beyond Mars and Venus | 084
After a weird COVID relationship, a friend lent me a copy of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. While dated in terms of style, I was shocked at how useful it was 20 years later. I was also surprised that John had a lot to say about semen retention when I interviewed him. Little did I know, he has a deeply spiritual (and sexual) past. On that note, you can get Arousal Control Mastery (normally $497) for free if you take and complete the Anabolic Psyche mini-course within a timeframe. https://go.anabolicpsyche.com/ Reposting this one, as I'm preparing a new episode on the Evolution of Men's Personal Development: Transformation of the Male Unconscious, where I reference 90's self-help. Stay tuned! Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
#216
January 5 · 1 hr 1 min
Formula for Magnetism | 216
Is there a formula for getting your way (with people or circumstances)? In my experience, there are certain qualities that make someone particularly magnetic in this sense. I draw an actionable metaphor from the physics formula for literal magnetism, Get the text version with breakdown and summary at ruwando.substack.com Anabolic Psyche 2.0: go.anabolicpsyche.com + Get my Arousal Control program for free (if you complete Anabolic Psyche.) Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
#166
Dec 29, 2025 · 45 min
Rising into the King Archetype feat. Patrick H | 166
Patrick was in a dark place when met—ultra Nice Guy submissive tendencies, deep feelings of undeservingness, enmeshing Mother Complex, and acting out with p*rn and prostitutes. Six months later, his life reflected massive transformation—epic dating life, greater respect at work, and feelings of deservedness. We recorded this about a year after when he chose to settle down with his now wife. (I had also just had my first child.) We discuss male transformation and stepping into the “King” archetype. He also shares about what led to his rapid transformation: “Sometimes you need to be punched so hard in the face that you wake up” Here’s another favorite from some years ago. New stuff coming in 2026, including the new improved Anabolic Psyche course 2.0. (If you already purchased it, you’ve automatically got the upgrades + a secret bonus.) 10:00 How to choose to settle down in the most empowering way. 13:50 Effort vs. Flow in masculinity 16:21 False persona vs. real Self 30:05 We’re drawn to people who have what (think) we lack. 40:00 Rising into the King archetype Patrick started his journey with the Masculine Archetype Challenge. Still comes with a complementary 1:1 coaching session with me, though I will discontinuing that soon because… This January, I’m opening a group coaching container for men get in touch with their instincts to get massive results with women and purpose. It will also be much more affordable than my 1:1 coaching. But for now it will ONLY be available to guys who’ve already taken Anabolic Psyche (pre-req). So join the new improved Anabolic Psyche to be notified: go.anabolicpsyche.com Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
#148
Dec 22, 2025 · 1 hr 45 min
How to Help Her Into Her Feminine | 148
Dropping an old favorite in honor of my anniversary today. How to Help Her Into Her Feminine covers what a man can do to help a woman move from her competitive (“masculine”) self to her interdependent (“feminine”) self. It draws on some fringe lessons from BDSM, evolutionary biology, and case studies from many guys I’ve helped. I recorded it shortly after our daughter was born. I wonder if you can hear the drop in testosterone in my voice. (00:00:00): Irony of Attraction Shifts (00:04:53): If Mama Ain’t Happy… (00:10:54): Asymmetry + Connection Yin-Yang (00:18:03): Concentric Circles Hierarchy (00:27:47): Women’s Dual Stress (00:39:03): Demonstrate, Don’t Demand (00:43:40): Vision as Leader Lots of new stuff coming in 2026! Subscribe to catch it free at: Ruwando.substack.com Hack your brain chemistry: go.anabolicpsyche.com Archetype Challenge: ruwando.com/archetype Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
#170
Dec 18, 2025 · 48 min
Spiritual Perimeter: Containing the Feminine | 170
The literal need to "protect and provide" is mostly obsolete in modern day. But women still desire to be contained when it comes to emotions, and to large degree, perceptions. One of the huge differences between committed and not-so-committed relationships is the man's role in directing reality. Only then can a woman really feel her feelings, be present, be in her feminine. It’s about a man’s role in containing a woman’s reality—All the heady, but sometimes necessary, parts of life that prevent her from being in the now, feeling her feelings, femininity… I call this the Spiritual Perimeter. (As opposed the the basic Material Perimeter.) Women want a man who is sure of what he’s doing more than whether or not he’s actually right... A woman will forgive you if you’re wrong. * 00:00: Intro to truth in relationships * 01:33: Symmetrical vs. asymmetrical dynamics * 05:16: Defining the spiritual perimeter * 12:58: Unifying reality through respect * 26:40: Passing shit and comfort tests * 35:31: Vision to prevent stagnation * 46:42: Leading as one unit Get the next post in your inbox. Free chapters of my next book ANIMA for subs only. Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
#214
Dec 12, 2025 · 45 min
Manic Pixie Dream Girl = Male Wound in Disguise
When I was 23, I fell in love with a drug addict. She was sexy and interesting. But more than that, she was WILD. If my life was a movie, she was cast as the Manic Pixie Dream Girl—the adolescent male fantasy of an the open-hearted nymph who saves the non-hero from mediocrity. The MPDG highlights a common male psychological wound. She also shows us how such a man can heal this wound, if he can avoid the emotional trap she represents. An abbreviated text version of this episode can be found at ruwando.substack.com It includes an excerpt of my book, ORGSM, A Memoir. Get my book + redeem bonuses at https://orgsmbook.com/ If you’re struggling with this kind of pattern, shoot me a message or fill out the form below. I’d love to help. Everything 100% confidential. https://ruwando.com/coaching 00:00 The Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope explained 01:50 How this relates to real life 03:24 New book: Taming the Anima 04:25 The history of Manic Pixie Dream Girl 11:50 The psychological lens of Manic Pixie Dream Girl 13:30 Manic Pixie in my life 19:45 The Savior Complex 20:39 Translating the trope into real life 22:54 The dark side of Manic Pixie Dream Girl 23:29 The health of relationship dynamic 26:25 How to stop dating Manic Pixie Dream Girls 29:39 Who is controlling the reality of your relationship? 34:15 John Wayne doesn’t need a Manic Pixie Dream Girl 36:00 Many guys work on themselves to get women 37:43 What type of guys avoid MPDG? 40:20 How did Odysseus avoid the sirens? 41:22 How to test a girl to see if she’s Manic Pixie? 43:02 What do secure women actually want? 44:11 The summary of Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
#213
Dec 2, 2025 · 42 min
Belle vs. Moana: Who's the better role model for women?
Disney princesses are different today. So is our culture's Feminine Ideal. Mrs. Meepagala and I debate on how these different female role models are imprinting the next generation of women, including our daughter. Tomorrow I'm posting a concise article on the 3 different types female role models and their message to women on substack. Subscribe to get it delivered to your inbox: ruwando.substack.com If you're a woman looking to find the one in 2026, check out my wife's new book: idaretolove.com #psychology #relationships #marriage #femininity #women #feminism Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
#212
Nov 27, 2025 · 1 hr 1 min
The "Problem" of Love
What makes one psychologically ready for a committed relationship? Jung’s essay, “The Love Problem of a Student”, discusses the early stages social dynamics that have become common to us 100 years later— “free love” vs monogamy, infidelity, a woman’s dilemma of career vs. family. 00:37 The Love Problem of a Student 03:41 Love and Instincts 06:23 Homosexuality and Human Nature 29:24 Psychological Maturity and Relationships 33:00 Psychological Impact of Early Sexual Experiences 44:50 Older Women and Younger Men Dynamics 56:05 The Concept of Free Love Get the next post delivered to your inbox: Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
Nov 26, 2025 · 8 min
Important Update: Consolidating Podcast with Substack
A recent epiphany has made me decide to move off visual media consolidate my podcast with substack. It shouldn't change anything for you, though there's a *possibility* you won't see my new episodes pop up. (If there's an RSS feed issue.) You can prevent this by subscribing at ruwando.substack.com There you can stay updated on future podcast episodes, accompanying writing, livestreams, and book excerpts. (You can customize notifications to receive only one or the other.) Get my book + bonuses: ORGSMbook.com Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
Nov 20, 2025 · 1 hr 4 min
Woman as Soul (Jung's Aspects of the Feminine)
Here I read an essay by Carl Jung, "Woman As Soul", + give my commentary on what it means and how we can use it. This is part of the source material for my next book, ANIMA: The Five Aspects of the Feminine-- A Guide For Men on Female Psychology. Get free excerpts by subcribing at ruwando.substack.com Or get an advance copy of ANIMA by purchasing my other book, ORGSM, A Memoir at orgsmbook.com Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
Nov 13, 2025 · 27 min
How To Bend Reality (Like a Cult Leader)
Reality is a set of agreements. This is a reading + commentary on a new post on substack on the nature of subjective reality: The process of brainwashing used by ideologies as seen in politics, communities, and of course, cults. It includes from excerpts from my book, ORGSM, A Memoir. I'll be posting more analyses + excerpts from my next book, ANIMA: The 5 Aspects of the Feminine Unconscious on substack: Ruwando.substack.com Get my new book + $100 of bonuses at orgsmbook.com Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
Oct 28, 2025 · 7 min
How To Brainwash Yourself w/ ORGSM, A Memoir: Inside the Matriarchal Cult of OneTaste
My book publishes Oct 31. You can get it at a discount + free bonuses: 1. How To Brainwash Yourself course that pulls mind control principles from my cult experience for positive identity transformation. 2. An advance copy of Anima: 5 Aspects of the Feminine Unconscious. My next book (to publish 2026) on female psychology. 3. My entire premium meditation library from MindValley/Insight Timer. To redeem visit: orgsmbook.com. ORGSM, A Memoir is my true story of being in a female-led cult where I learned deep truths about f***ing and mindf***ing. It's already the #1 New Release in the Psych/Human Sxuality, Memoirs/Deceptions, and Cults categories; & already top 5 bestseller. Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe
Aug 18, 2025 · 55 min
What Kind of Woman Do Men Really Want? w/ Sascha Haert
I connected with Sascha over a post he made of “why women in their 40’s are the unhappiest ever.” Whether that’s true or not, it’s food for important conversation about modern dating and relationships. Sascha Haert is a coach for women. Tbh, I used to have a lot of judgement of men who coach women (and of women who only coach men). But he has a lot of great insight on: Why successful women hardly find love, what’s important in the bedroom, why women resent men so much these days, how woman makes space for a man in life, what kind of woman do men want in a relationships, and exploring: do women understand the power they hold? We’re two men commenting on the plight of women, so take it with some salt. However, Sascha has a lot of knowledge from the many women he’s helped. 00:00 Women in their 40s are the unhappiest ever 02:13 Getting lost trying to become a masculine woman 06:51 How to be a good father to a daughter 07:59 Woman making space for a man in life 12:07 Why women resent men so much 15:03 Be yourself in order to be liked 19:02 How Sascha became a coach for women 29:00 Fathers shape daughters’ relation to relationship 31:00 Sexual liberation of women 33:35 Open relationships yes or no 46:26 Sascha’s work 48:50 There’s too much competition between sexes Hack your brain chemistry for unshakable confidence: Anabolic Psyche mini-course only $12 AnabolicPsyche.com Get full access to Ruwando Substack at ruwando.substack.com/subscribe

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