Robot Unicorn

Nurtured First

Join me, Jess VanderWier, a registered psychotherapist, mom of three, and founder of Nurtured First, along with my husband Scott, as we dive deep into the stories of our friends, favourite celebrities, and influential figures.

In each episode, we skip the small talk and dive into vulnerable and honest conversations about topics like cycle breaking, trauma, race, mental health, parenting, sex, religion, postpartum, healing, and loss.

We are glad you are here.

PS: The name Robot Unicorn comes from our daughter. When we asked her what we should name the podcast, she confidently came up with this name because she loves robots, and she loves unicorns, so why not? There was something about the playfulness of the name, the confidence in her voice, and the fact that it represents that you can love two things at once that just felt right.

Subscribe Listen in podnod RSS feed Show website

121 episodes
Updated Today

Episodes121

Newest first

March 16 · 23 min
Why Allowance Is About More Than Money (Part 2)
In Part 2 of our deep dive into allowances, Jess and Scott move from theory to practice, debating whether kids should receive an allowance at all. They explore the 'Spend, Save, Give' jar system and share personal strategies for teaching delayed gratification, including the controversial '24-hour rule' for impulse buys. They also discuss the importance of letting children make low-stakes financial mistakes now so they don't make big ones later. Finally, they address the privilege inherent in allowance and how to build financial literacy even if your budget is tight. Tune in to find out why Scott changed his mind and how to handle the 'I want it now' meltdowns at the store. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
March 9 · 23 min
Does Giving Kids An Allowance Make Them Entitled? (Part 1)
Is giving your kids an allowance a 'ridiculous idea' or a powerful teaching tool? In this episode, Jess and Scott dive into the heated debate on allowances. Scott reveals a major 180-degree shift in his thinking, moving from a firm 'no' to seeing allowance as a crucial way to teach financial literacy. They discuss how to give kids money without raising them to be entitled, the complicated link between allowances and chores, and how their own upbringings have shaped their views. Tune in for Part 1 of a conversation that could change how your family talks about money. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
March 2 · 52 min
Why Boredom Matters For Kids (Revisit)
This week, we are revisiting a previously aired episode. In this episode, we dive into one of the most vital, yet often overlooked, aspects of development and well-being: creativity. We explore the 'Creativity Crisis'—a documented decline in creative thinking since the 1990s—and discuss how parents can protect their children's innate imagination. We unpack the profound importance of unstructured play, not just for kids to process their world, but for adults to combat burnout. Listen for actionable strategies to foster creativity at home and find ways to rediscover your own sense of play. This episode was originally released on 12/02/2024. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
February 23 · 39 min
Will Daycare Ruin My Child’s Attachment? (Revisit)
This week, we are revisiting a previously aired episode. Is sending your child to daycare wrong? Will it ruin your attachment? In this episode, Jess and Scott tackle the highly controversial 'Daycare Wars,' sharing a personal story of being shamed for their choices. They dive into the intense guilt and judgment surrounding the stay-at-home versus working parent debate. Listen for a nuanced conversation that moves beyond black-and-white thinking to explore the economic and mental health realities many families face, and learn practical ways to preserve a strong, loving attachment with your child, no matter your childcare situation. This episode was originally released on 08/19/2024. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
February 16 · 45 min
When Is It Okay To Punish Kids? (Revisit)
This week, we are revisiting a previously aired episode. When is it okay to punish your kids? This loaded question kicks off a deep dive into the difference between punishment and effective, long-term discipline. Jess and Scott challenge common parenting tactics like spanking, timeouts, and taking things away, explaining why these methods often fail and can even damage the parent-child relationship. Listeners will learn why a child's behaviour is a signal, not a fault, and discover powerful, connection-based alternatives. Move beyond the 'punishment cycle' and learn how to use modelling and logical consequences to teach skills that last a lifetime. This episode was originally released on 06/10/2024. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
February 9 · 32 min
Have Parents Become Too Permissive?
In this episode, Jess and Scott tackle this delicate balance, exploring why so many parents fear their children's tears and avoid setting boundaries. They move beyond unhelpful labels to discuss the core of effective parenting: becoming the strong, confident leader your child needs. Listen to find the confidence to hold firm, embrace nuance, and learn why letting your child experience disappointment is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
February 2 · 36 min
Should You Force Your Kids To Do Chores?
In this episode, Jess and Scott dive deep into one of parenting's most common dilemmas. They explore how household tasks are crucial for building responsibility, essential life skills, and a sense of family teamwork. The conversation tackles the controversial topic of allowances, revealing why research suggests you should not pay your kids for daily chores. Tune in to learn how to foster intrinsic motivation and implement a chore system that works for your family without the constant nagging. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
January 26 · 38 min
When Is It OK To Give In to Tantrums?
In this vulnerable episode, hosts Jess and Scott tackle this tough parenting question head-on, revealing their own disagreements and struggles. They explore the fine line between holding firm boundaries and becoming a 'martyr parent,' discussing the heavy weight of guilt, the risk of burnout, and how to set realistic expectations for your kids (and yourself). Listen for candid insights on navigating different parenting styles with your partner and practical strategies to support your child proactively, before the meltdown even begins. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
January 19 · 33 min
Why Won’t My Child Stop Clinging and Whining?!
Do you ever have moments where you just want to scream, "Get off me!" at your clingy child? You're not alone. This episode dives deep into the visceral frustration parents feel when a child is constantly attached, and reframes this challenging behaviour not as a problem to be fixed, but as a crucial signal. Jess and Scott explore the real reasons kids get clingy, from hunger and sickness to being in a state of alarm. You'll learn practical strategies to meet their need for connection, set healthy boundaries without causing harm, and find support for yourself when you're feeling completely depleted. Listen to the episode Jess mentioned about supporting worried and anxious kids here. Want to hear more about how to help your child who is clinging and whining? Check out these episodes of Robot Unicorn: The #1 Reason Kids (And Adults) Cling, Whine and Act Out How Do I Stop My Child From Whining? Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
January 12 · 46 min
How To Pass Down Family Values
In this episode, Jess and Scott talk about how family values aren’t created by rules on the wall, but by what’s lived out every day. They explore how to start with parent-only conversations to clarify your true non-negotiables, then invite kids into the process in meaningful, age-appropriate ways. They also dive into a powerful conversation about why kids lie (hint: it’s not about “bad behaviour”) and how parental responses can either strengthen trust or quietly erode it. If you want values that stick, not because kids are afraid, but because they feel safe and connected, this episode lays the foundation. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
January 5 · 45 min
What Kids Need Most When Parents Divorce
In this episode, Jess and Scott confront the tough topics of divorce, single parenting, and high-conflict family dynamics. They debunk the pervasive myth of 'staying together for the kids,' explaining how research overwhelmingly shows that ongoing parental conflict, not separation itself, is the true source of harm. Learn about the vital practice of 'conflict shielding' and discover how providing a predictable, loving environment with just one stable caregiver can help your child thrive, even when life feels fractured. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
Dec 29, 2025 · 54 min
How Can I Reduce My Anger and Annoyance As A Highly Sensitive Parent? (Revisit)
This week, we are revisiting a previously aired episode. Scott recently had a situation where he lost his cool with his toddler. In this episode, Jess and Scott unpack what happened and how he could do things differently next time by setting himself up for success as a highly sensitive person. They discuss what it means to be highly sensitive, from noticing subtle textures and needing things a certain way to being more emotionally attuned. Scott shares his own challenges staying calm as a highly sensitive parent, especially when his sensory cup is full. Jess offers practical tips for coping as a highly sensitive parent, like taking sensory breaks, setting boundaries, and having compassion for your unique needs. She emphasizes that there’s nothing wrong with being a sensitive person, and learning to work with your sensitivity (or your partner's or child’s sensitivity) comes with many beautiful gifts. Through a thoughtful and, at times, humorous discussion, Scott and Jess model how partners can talk through triggering parenting moments to problem-solve together. Listeners will gain insights into the highly sensitive parent experience and leave with new strategies to try. This episode was originally released on 7/8/2024. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
Dec 22, 2025 · 32 min
Forcing Kids To Do Hard Things: Raising Resilient Kids Who Can Tolerate Frustration (Revisit)
This week, we are revisiting one of our first episodes. Jess and Scott dive into the complex topic of pushing kids to do hard things. They explore the fine line between encouraging children to reach their potential vs. pushing them past their limits. Jess vulnerably shares how her own painful childhood experiences make it challenging for her to watch her daughter being pushed. Together, they unpack the key ingredients kids need to build true resilience. This honest, nuanced conversation will make you reflect deeply on how your own past shapes your parenting and what really matters when helping kids tolerate frustration. If you’ve ever struggled to find the right balance with your child, this episode is for you. This episode was originally released on 5/13/2024. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
Dec 15, 2025 · 56 min
How To Create Healthy Screentime Habits with Dr. Michael Robb
Are you tired of the constant panic and guilt surrounding your kids' screen time? In this episode, Jess sits down with Dr. Michael Robb, Head of Research at Common Sense Media, to cut through the noise and offer a reassuring, nuanced perspective on technology in the family. Dr. Robb explains why we should stop counting minutes and instead focus on what screen time displaces, like play and sleep. You'll walk away with practical strategies for setting healthy boundaries, navigating popular games like Roblox, and deciding if your child is truly ready for a phone, all while strengthening your connection with them. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
Dec 8, 2025 · 44 min
How To Raise Kind Kids Who Aren’t People Pleasers
How do we teach our children to be kind without letting them get walked over? This episode dives into the difference between genuine kindness and people-pleasing, and how to raise children who can stand up for themselves and set firm boundaries while still treating others with respect and compassion. Jess and Scott provide practical strategies, including role-playing and clear scripts, to help children set firm boundaries with friends and family. Learn how your own modelling of kindness and assertiveness is the most powerful tool you have for raising confident, empathetic, and resilient children. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
Dec 1, 2025 · 31 min
Raising Sensitive Kids To Be Resilient And Confident (Part 3)
Raising a sensitive child comes with unique challenges and profound beauty. In the final episode of our 3-part sensitive kids series, Jess and Scott explore practical ways to nurture your child's sensitivity, build their confidence and recognize their strengths. Discover the powerful parenting technique of 'scaffolding' to build your child's confidence without taking over. They also tackle the nuanced debate around validating feelings - how much is too much? Learn to reframe sensitivity not as a weakness, but as your child's potential superpower, and leave with a hopeful message that will empower your entire family. Listen to the impulse control episode here. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
Nov 24, 2025 · 33 min
Rejection Sensitivity And Discipline For Sensitive Kids (Part 2)
Is your child an 'orchid' who thrives in the right environment but wilts under pressure? In part 2 of our sensitive kids series, Jess and Scott unpack the powerful 'orchid vs. dandelion' child metaphor, explaining the science behind why your parenting has a profound impact on a sensitive child. They discuss rejection sensitivity, revealing why your child might hide under a table after a simple correction, and why the common advice to 'toughen up' is so damaging, especially for boys. Tune in to learn authoritative, connection-based strategies that turn your child’s sensitivity from a challenge into their greatest strength. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
Nov 17, 2025 · 41 min
Is My Child Highly Sensitive? (Part 1)
Do you have a child who has epic meltdowns over seemingly small things, such as a shirt tag or a flushing toilet? In part 1 of our 3-part sensitive kids series, Jess and Scott dive deep into the world of the sensitive child, explaining the three core temperaments that kids are born with. They discuss why sensitivity is an innate trait, not something parents cause. Tune in to learn how to nurture resilience and hear about the surprising overlap between high sensitivity and ADHD diagnoses in young children. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
Nov 10, 2025 · 58 min
In-Laws Stressing You Out? An Expert's Guide To Setting Boundaries
In this episode, Jess is joined by well-known psychologist and couples therapist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish to tackle one of the most common relationship stressors: In-laws. Dr. Tracy breaks down why this dynamic is so challenging and why it's often easier for a husband to argue with his wife than to set a boundary with his mom. Listen to learn the true definition of a boundary (it's not what you think!), how to shift from 'you vs. me' to a united team with your partner, and gain actionable strategies to navigate family gatherings with confidence and peace. Hear more from Dr. Tracy on Instagram and check out her new book: You, Your Husband & His Mother. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!
Nov 3, 2025 · 26 min
How Do I Stop My Child From Whining?
In this episode, Jess and Scott dive into why whining triggers such a visceral fight-or-flight reaction in parents and how to manage your own nervous system first. Learn how to uncover the real needs behind the whining. You'll walk away with proactive strategies and a deeper understanding of your child. Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN. We’d love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits: Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!