Julian Thinks the Barn Is Stupid

What’s the difference between being in control and being controlling? This week in Stable Roots, I’m thinking about all the ways I’ve confused the two — from spending four hours trying to convince Max to get on a horse trailer, to watching well-meaning humans become complete doormats in the name of giving horses a voice, to one very opinionated chestnut gelding who spent an entire thunderstorm explaining exactly what he thought about being put in a stall. We’ll talk about consent-based horsemanship, horse training, groundwork, boundaries, and what it really means to listen when a horse says no — without assuming that respecting another creature requires us to surrender our own voice. But, as usual, Stable Roots isn’t really just about horses. The horses simply give us a place to practice the things that are harder to see in ourselves. How do we listen without disappearing? Hold a boundary without needing someone else to agree with it? Change our minds without feeling like we’ve lost? And stay grounded when another person — or horse — sees things very differently? Maybe being in control was never about getting the horse on the trailer, winning the argument, or arranging the world into the ending we’ve already decided upon. Maybe it’s knowing what belongs to us — our reactions, our boundaries, our choices — and becoming a little more comfortable with everyone else having an opinion about them. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stableroots.substack.com/subscribe