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Reforged Marriage

Giff Lasta

Giff and Chad talk Christian faith, masculine leadership, and how to build desire in your marriage.

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10 episodes
Avg 1 hr 3 min
English

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October 20 · 41 min
Just Leave Her, Bro
When your marriage is miserable and your wife doesn't desire you, the internet has a simple answer: "Just leave her, bro." But what if there's a way to leave her without walking out the door? In this episode, Giff and Chad take on the Red Pill advice of Rollo Tomassi—what he gets right about women, attraction, and marriage, and where his philosophy ultimately falls short. They explore why desire can't be negotiated, why the relationship ledger never pays out, and why becoming a man your wife desires requires something deeper than chasing her approval. Along the way, Chad shares the devastating story of his first wife's affair during her battle with cancer, the night he mentally divorced her, and the remarkable transformation that followed. They discuss the difference between status and dignity, why abundance isn't just about having options, and how Christian men can embrace the hard truths of attraction without surrendering to cynicism. This episode is about leaving behind the needy man who bargains for love—not necessarily the woman he married—and discovering a way to live with strength, freedom, and joy regardless of whether she follows.
- Transcript
S1 · E9
September 16 · 1 hr 20 min
Dead Bedrooms & Mid-Life Awakenings
For the first time, Giff, Chad, and Nejc are all in the same room. And with the Slovenian liquor flowing, the conversation gets pretty candid. In this special IRL edition of the Reforged Marriage Podcast, the guys talk dead bedrooms, midlife awakenings, and what it actually takes to become a man your wife desires again. Why can’t you negotiate desire? What happens when a man realizes his wife still has plenty of sexuality—she just isn’t pointing it at him? And could the dreaded “midlife crisis” actually be an invitation to wake up and start living again? Along the way, they dig into extreme ownership, the difference between wanting sex and needing validation from sex, why “playful cockiness” may be more genuinely humble than self-deprecation, and the strange shift that happens when a man stops asking, “How do I get my wife to respond?” and starts asking, “How do I become the man I actually want to be?” This one is loose, unscripted, occasionally inappropriate, and probably best enjoyed with a drink.
- Transcript
July 27 · 43 min
Should you ever refuse an offer of sex from your wife?
Most men think saying no to sex is insane. If your marriage is struggling, shouldn't you take every opportunity you get? In this episode, Giff and Chad unpack why the ability to reject sex can actually be a mark of masculine abundance—not disinterest. They explore the difference between needing sex and enjoying it, why transactional intimacy kills desire, and how a man who isn't controlled by sexual scarcity often becomes far more attractive. Along the way, they discuss a dead bedroom that turned around in days, the mantra that changed everything ("We don't ask for sex—we just are sexy."), and a thoughtful conversation sparked by Abby Libby's challenge to the common "duty sex vs. desired sex" framework. This episode is about becoming the kind of man who enjoys sex without needing it—and why that paradox often leads to more of the real thing.
- Transcript
S1 · E7
July 12 · 1 hr 30 min
Why Christian Marriages Lose Attraction
When marriages struggle, most Christian advice focuses on better communication, more sacrifice, or simply trying harder. But what if the real problem runs deeper? In this conversation recorded live in Ljubljana, Slovenia, Giff Lasta sits down with Nejc Škoberne to explore a biblical vision of masculine leadership, attraction, responsibility, and marriage that challenges much of today's conventional wisdom. This event was hosted in Slovenia following the release of the Slovenian edition of The Way of Men with Maids, and marks the beginning of an exciting partnership to bring these ideas to Christian men across Europe.
- Transcript
S1 · E6
June 19 · 1 hr 30 min
The Privileges Of Victimhood
In this conversation, Giff Lasta and Nejc Škoberne discuss the hidden privileges of victimhood, why so many men wait for someone else to save them, and how taking responsibility transformed Nejc's marriage, leadership, and sense of purpose.
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#5
June 6 · 1 hr 17 min
Why Doesn't She Desire Me?
In this conversation with Benjamin Siter, I share how overcoming pornography addiction forced me to confront a deeper issue: my own passivity. We discuss masculinity, virility, marriage, leadership, desire, responsibility, and why many men unknowingly sabotage the very intimacy they long for. At the heart of the discussion is a simple but demanding idea: Own everything. Not because your wife is always right. Not because every problem is your fault. But because responsibility is where a man's freedom begins.
- Transcript
#4
April 6 · 41 min
Should you tolerate disrespect from your wife?
Giff and Chad break down how trying to “correct” your wife’s behavior backfires—and what real leadership actually looks like. They unpack the difference between ultimatums and decisive action, why “holding her accountable” can be just ego in disguise, and how men reclaim respect by reclaiming their own point of origin.
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#3
April 6 · 45 min
Stop asking your wife for sex
Many married men approach sex with their wives the same way: politely asking… and quietly bracing for rejection. Giff and Chad explain why that dynamic quietly kills attraction—and what to do instead. They discuss the fear many husbands feel when initiating, the difference between negotiating sex and inspiring desire, and why confidence, dignity, and leadership transform a marriage far more than “asking nicely.”
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#2
April 6 · 53 min
Can you win a fight with your wife?
Giff and Chad explore the complexities of arguments in marriage, using a clip from the movie 'The Breakup' as a case study.
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#1
April 6 · 1 hr 11 min
Is duty sex better than no sex?
Giff and Chad Collins kick off Reforged Marriage looking at “duty sex” vs. cultivating genuine desire. Drawing from years of coaching and Chad’s hard-won story, they explain why negotiated intimacy kills attraction—and how to rebuild your frame, purpose, and presence so your wife chooses you.
- Transcript

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